Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, any related franchise or the characters

Clogs and Cats

By the time Rukia returned to Karakura Town the furor near the Kurosaki's house had ended and a woman was being led away and fined for 'attacking a law enforcement officer when he submitted his report and stated that the Kurosaki's house was locked and nobody was currently inside it'

Rukia lightly jumped up a streetlight and entered Ichigo's bedroom once again. She went downstairs to grab some of Yuzu's home-made chocolate chip cookies and ended up eating the whole tin. Revenge was sweet but it was hungry work. The thought of the three shinigami who had accompanied her to the beach flittered through Rukia's head briefly but she shrugged it off. After all, they were grown men and responsible adults and would doubtless return to their respective barracks in the Seireitei by evening. At least Renji would since her brother was extremely strict about reporting times. And if Renji went, he would make sure that the other two accompanied him and didn't stay behind to enjoy treats that he couldn't.

She settled down between Ichigo's soft blankets and allowed herself to inhale deeply for a second. He did smell good even though he was an absolute idiot and his sheets carried his scent on them. Sentimental moment over, Rukia was back to business. She propped the book up against her knees and opened it to the page she had been reading. She flipped the paper and frowned. The next page of the diary was empty. "This can't be it," thought Rukia, "My curiousity hasn't been satisfied yet… I mean the level of the threat to the Soul Society hasn't been determined yet." She was relieved to see that Ichigo had started writing again after about 5 blank pages.

Thinking of popping down to Hat 'n' Clogs place later today. I hope Yoruichi will be there. There's something I really need to talk to her about.

"Yoruichi?" thought Rukia, frowning. She tried to think of any mess that Ichigo could have gotten himself into that Yoruichi could help with but drew a blank. It was usually Urahara who Ichigo went to for advice and counseling.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. I never did give an intro of them in here, did I? Well, my damn diary, it's time to introduce you to two more freaks.

Rukia punched the air and thought gleefully "More blackmail material!"

Kiskuke Urahara aka Mr. Hat 'n' Clogs. My first thought when I saw him was "Clogs? Who the hell wears clogs anymore? They went right out with medieval flowing kimonos."

"Looks like Ishida just found a presenter for his FTV show," thought Rukia, exasperated with the fashion commentary.

That was of course, before I realized that his Shinigami uniform, as well as mine, had both and a huge white sash to top it off.

"Why don't you just start writing chick-lit novels already?"

Bad fashion sense aside, Hat 'n' Clogs is one cool dude. It's kind of difficult to believe that this lazy guy can get up unassisted but he's kicked some serious Hollow ass in his time.

"Has? I'm not sure Urahara will like being referred to as a has-been," thought Rukia with a mischievous smile.

I'm very grateful to him for helping me unleash my powers although at that time I didn't really do more than just curse him. Then again, I dare you to have your Soul Chain cut off, get thrown into a deep pit and told to either get out unassisted or die and not feel the tiniest bit of anger towards the guy who did it, even if it was for your own good (or so he claimed). Honestly, if all Shinigami have to go through this, it's no wonder they have so many traitors popping up all the time.

But still even though Urahara was hardly gentle he did teach me a lot more in one week than Miss Ochi managed in my whole life. At least I think so because Urahara's lessons kept me from getting my liver diced while Maths is pretty useless in a swordfight except to tell the diameter of the hole in your chest.

If there's one thing about Hat 'n' Clogs that truly scares the shit out of me, it's his crazy experiments and plots. The problem with a genius like him is that it's impossible to tell whether he's just using me again (like the time with Rukia and the Hogyoku) or whether he's giving me something out of the kindness of his heart. Most of the time, I think its former.

Rukia was slightly impressed by Ichigo's accurate account of Urahara's personality.

Now on to the Yoruichi aka the Cat Woman.

To be honest, I didn't think much of her the first time I met her. She seemed to be a he and a cat. Confusing? Yeah, I nearly jumped out of my skin too when a black cat walked up to me and spoke in a man's deep baritone voice.

She chuckled. Yoruichi's disguise did take time to get used to.

She rescued me in the Seireitei (don't ask. Getting rescued by a cat was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I'm almost glad that I had a fight that knocked me out before she arrived)

The thing with getting knocked up and being forced to lie down by a cat whose voice reminds you of TV star Don Kunonji is that it makes you think. That was when I started wondering how the hell a cat managed to wrap bandages around my chest. Conclusion: It wasn't a cat. My Eureka moment, although I didn't run out on the streets covered in ancient Greek Mr. Bubble to celebrate.

I asked Yoruichi to show me her transformation. Man, oh man (or should I say woman?) my eyes almost popped out of my head and reached Jupiter when I saw that the he-cat was an incredibly gorgeous woman.

"Incredibly gorgeous woman?" thought Rukia angrily, "What kind of brainless fool is attracted to EVERY girl he meets?"

She had long, silky purple hair, smooth brown skin and glowing golden eyes.

A slightly feral growl echoed through the room.

She entered the pool and I blushed like an idiot. Thankfully, Yoruichi said she found it 'cute'

"Cute" muttered Rukia, "We'll see how cute Soifon-taichou finds it, you disgusting…"

At any rate, it did make training a lot more fun, knowing that she was watching. Anyway, I'll talk to her about it tomorrow…

"Talk about what?" said Rukia, snapping the book shut and glaring at it, "Your feelings for her?"

"Rukia"

"Don't you dare give me any back-talk, book!"

"Rukia"

"Alright fine, maybe I'm over-reacting just a little bit."

"RUKIA!"

She jumped. The diary fell down with a thump and slid under the bed. When she saw the person standing near the window she wished she could do the same.

"Brother!"