Haine-chan: Guess what guys? This is going to be the last chapter EVER!
Jupiter: Oh no!
Mars: Can it be?
Saturn: Really?
Cyrus: *nothing*
Charon: YES!
*everyone stares at the old man*
Charon: What? That means I won't be pushed around anymore!
Haine-chan: I know you guys have been waiting for this for a while so…hit him with your best shot!
*All commanders, including Cyrus, release their signature Pokémon*
Mars: We have been waiting SO long for this!
Saturn: This victory will be so very sweet.
Jupiter: Yeah, almost as sweet as the moment I'll kiss that detective!
Haine-chan: Um, guys, aren't you going to say to her that—
All: ATTACK!
*Charon is blasted through the roof and into the sky*
Charon: I'm blasting my way into your heart, Ideographer!
*TWINKLE*
Haine-chan: Well now that that's settled, we can get to the final topic!
Saturn: Which is?
Haine-chan: Another mix of two! This one is submitted by Alex View.
P.S please add a diary reading chapter .
Haine-chan: And then…a la Ephie!
I don't know if I could really think of anymore topics, but . . . hmm. Have they discussed Cyrus's age yet? I seriously do not believe that he is 27 even if the game says so. He looks like he's 42 at best. No one will convince me otherwise.
Haine-chan: Go on! TALK LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW! WHICH IS MOSTLY TRUE.
Mars: Well, I suppose we'll have to start with the topic of Cyrus' age, seeing as we haven't found anyone's diary yet. In my opinion, he looks like he's 35, tops. It's mostly the face that does it for me.
Saturn: Not a day over 30.
Jupiter: Meh, I'd say 39.
Haine-chan: Wow, so none of you guys think he looks his age?
All: Nope.
Cyrus: I would like to add that my physical appearance has nothing to do with my ideals and pursuits.
Haine-chan: Yeah, yeah, bud, we've heard that excuse before. But how do you feel about that, by the way?
Cyrus: I believe that I look my age, albeit despite my hollow cheekbones. Yes, genetics were not as you would say "good to me".
Haine-chan: Well, we've all got our faults, I suppose. Oh, that reminds me, I have to introduce my last guest! And it is…Giovanni!
All: WHAT?
*Giovanni walks in with his awesome fedora*
Giovanni: Greetings.
Jupiter: Oh wow! A real man!
Mars: Oh come on, you're just saying that so we won't pick on you for liking Looker.
Jupiter *starts drooling*: I'm serious! That is one hunk of man meat! Hamina hamina hamina!
Ash: That's a lot of haminas.
Haine-chan: Oh right, I invited Ash and the gang too because they wanted to have a party so…yeah.
Saturn: Where's the cake?
Haine-chan: Hidden. Until we finish talking about our stuff.
*Giovanni approaches Haine-chan* Thank you for inviting me. Solitary training can get very tiresome.
Haine-chan: Hey no problem. The more the merrier! And besides, we needed another mature voice to add to our discussion.
Giovanni: What are you discussing?
Haine-chan: Oh the usual. How old we think Cyrus over there is—oh he's the guy sipping his Tim Horton's coffee in the corner. And in a bit we're going to read diary entries.
Giovanni: Hmm…I'd say he looks about 28 years old.
Ash: WHAT!
Mars: No way!
Haine-chan: Really?
Cyrus: Finally! A man with a mind!
Saturn: Are you sure you don't know each other?
Giovanni: I've never met the man, I can assure you.
*Cyrus walks away from his corner*: Do you happen to know anything about subspace and the flow of time?
Giovanni: Do you happen to know about running an international crime syndicate?
Cyrus: I believe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
*The two walk off to converse about evil things*
Haine-chan: Well now that those guys have each other, we can rummage through everyone's diaries!
*Everyone hands over their diaries, except Jupiter*
Mars: Come on Jupy, play nice.
Jupiter: This is a breach of my privacy! I demand a lawyer!
Haine-chan: There are no lawyers here, so you're out of luck. *swipes diary like a boss*
Jupiter: HEY!
Haine-chan: Ok, who's first in my pile? Ash!
Dawn: Aw, that sucks, the only thing that's written here is what Pokémon he's caught and how much he wants to be the Pokémon champion. Boring!
Haine-chan: Alright moving on!
Brock: Here's Dawn's: "Dear Diary. Today I joined Ash on his journey to become a Pokémon Master. He's pretty cute, but I'll totally become the champion before he does! Just watch me!"
Haine-chan: Aw, that's adorable.
*Dawn blushes*: Well that was a while ago.
Haine-chan: Here's Saturn's.
Saturn: Oh dear God.
Haine-chan: "Dear Diary. Today I was forced to go to Haine-chan's place for another round of dull topics to discuss. The only highlight was seeing her smile. That and Cyrus actually speaking of something other than the imminent doom of the world. I wonder if she'll ever write my one-shot."
Saturn: Give me that back.
*Haine-chan blushes slightly*: You like my smile?
*Ash slides up beside Haine-chan*: Do you know Flash? Because your smile could light up a dark cave!
*Dawn punches him in the stomach*: Don't turn into another Brock.
Saturn: Well…it is quite nice.
Haine-chan: Tee hee!
Saturn: By the way, is my one-shot still in the trash bin?
Haine-chan: Actually, no. I'm still going to write it. I have a real idea for it now, so I'm hoping to get it up soon!
Saturn: That's good to hear. I was afraid I was going to have to set my Toxicroak on you…
Haine-chan: AIEE~
Dawn: Here's Mars' diary! "Dear Diary. Jupiter won't shut up about her obsession with Detective Looker. I mean, how is it that a person can become so completely mad about another person that they become annoying to no extent? Sometimes I wish I had someone I could obsess over. Well, I suppose Saturn counts…"
Dawn: I knew it!
Mars: Aw crud.
Saturn: Does that mean I'm part of a love triangle?
Haine-chan: Quick! Read Jupiter's!
Saturn: "Dear Diary. Today I ran into Detective Looker while he was on the job. He was attempting to thwart my plans at the Fuego Ironworks, but I gained the upper hand. He's a very talented man, but he was no match for me. As he was lying on the ground, I noticed his eyes. They were deep and complex and I couldn't help but get lost in them. Maybe the next time I see him I find a way through them."
Mars: Holy.
Haine-chan: Crap.
Ash: Wow, you're so poetic, Jupiter!
Jupiter: So I took lots of poetry classes in school.
Saturn: And to think, we all thought you were incapable of such literate thoughts.
Jupiter: Looks can be deceiving, can't they?
Haine-chan: Hey you guys! Giovanni and Cyrus! You got any diary entries you wanna share?
Giovanni: I'm afraid I haven't written an entry in decades.
Cyrus: I have no need for such a thing. It only records disgusting emotions.
Haine-chan: Fine, whatever. I'm sure Giovanni's son would have some cool stuff written down in his diary.
*Giovanni's face turns cold*
Haine-chan: What? Did I say a spoiler? Have I transported us to subspace?!
Dawn: Nope, we're all ok.
*Suddenly, Silver walks in!*
Ash: A wild Silver appeared!
*Silver punches Ash in the face*
Silver: Father.
Giovanni: Son.
Cyrus: Ugh, you have a son? Our friendship is ruined.
Silver: I thought you were in solitary training.
Giovanni: I still am. I'm taking a quick reprieve.
Silver: And you never told me?
Giovanni: You needn't know my every action.
Silver: But I'm your son! You can't just leave me in the dark about these things!
Haine-chan: Hold up guys, topic-counselor here. I know you two don't have the best relationship in the world.
Silver: You can say that again.
Haine-chan: But that doesn't mean you don't care for one another. It's just the way you guys are. Giovanni prefers to be alone, but that doesn't mean he's stopped caring for you Silver. And you prefer to make your own path, and that doesn't mean you don't care for him either. You'll never forget one another and you might not be able to see each other that often but it's important to live in the moment and really communicate with each other while you have the chance!
Saturn: Why aren't you a real counselor?
Haine-chan: Because the job market sucks.
Silver: I guess you're right.
Giovanni: I suppose so.
Haine-chan: You know what would make this moment even sweeter?
Both: What?
Haine-chan: CAKE!
*rolls out multi-layered cake*
Dawn: Wow, Haine-chan, that looks amazing!
Haine-chan: Thank you, internet!
Ash: Are you an HM? Cause you're unforgettable!
*Everyone begins to chow down. Looker and Jupiter are at the table and they both reach for the same knife to cut their cake with, hands brushing each other's*
Looker: Would you allow me to do the honour?
Jupiter: You can honour me any day!
*They start making out*
Haine-chan: Wow that escalated quickly.
Mars: Well at least we can stop heckling her about it.
Ash: Let's make like a super rod and hook up!
Haine-chan: Kay enough.
*Suddenly, the Four Executives show up!*
Haine-chan : Meep!
Saturn: Aren't those the people we talked about in the first topic?
Giovanni: My comrades.
Haine-chan: Me gusta.
Archer: Greetings, Giovanni. We've waited for this moment for so long.
Ariana: Finally, you will take your rightful place as the head of Team Rocket once more and lead us to glory!
*Haine-chan runs over to Dawn*
Haine-chan: Hide me!
Dawn: Why?
Haine-chan: Because Proton's here!
Brock: What's the problem?
Dawn: She has a big crush on him, apparently.
Proton: All of the necessary arrangements have been made in advance, Giovanni.
Petrel: Your reign over the Pokémon world will never end!
Haine-chan: And my love for you will never end! Whoops!
Giovanni: *smiles* It is so good to know there are still followers of mine who believe in me. I think my time in solitary training has ended. *Turns to Silver* My son. There is always a position for you in Team Rocket, if you wish it.
Silver: I'll become stronger than you! And one day, I'll take down Team Rocket and you, once and for all!
Giovanni: I look forward to that day.
*Just as they're about to leave, Proton notices Haine-chan hiding behind Dawn*
Proton: Hmm? Who's that?
Dawn: Uh, nothing! Nothing at all!
*Pushes Dawn away to reveal a very red-faced Haine-chan*
Proton: *smiles* What do we have here?
Haine-chan: A very embarrassed fan girl?
Proton: A fan girl, eh? Well, maybe Giovanni's ascension to the head of Team rocket will have to wait a bit.
*Haine-chan sighs happily. The two begin to leave the room*
Haine-chan: Well, that's all folks! Thanks for coming along for the journey! It's been a lot of fun, despite all of the doom and gloom of Cyrus. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an Executive to hang with!
Ash: Ooh ooh, this is the best one yet! Do you know Tail Whip? Because your beauty leaves me defenseless!