A/N: This is a response to prompt #62 at the LJ flashpoint_sru community, which was the word 'joker'. Because I wasn't happy that they never seemed to resolve Sam's snarly attitude towards Donna, this story is somehow where my thoughts led me. I mean really, Sam can't be that much of a baby, right?... and whatever happened to that Kevlar®-replaced-with-cream-cheese thing? Spoilers for Business As Usual and Clean Hands.
Truce
Six members of the Team One SRU waited impatiently at the obstacle course. Wordy, who'd initially been reluctant to participate in Spike's grand scheme, held a digital camera behind his back.
"Think she forgot we were working out here today instead of the weight room?" Spike asked, tapping his foot.
"Oh, she got the memo," Lou replied. "She asked me this morning during coffee run, and I told her we were going to be here for sure."
"Then where is she? She's late," Ed griped.
"Just adds to the anticipation, guys," Spike observed gleefully. He rubbed his hands together and grinned.
"Hey, I have a house full of ladies," Wordy interjected, "and they've been known to take their time... trust me on this..."
"...Unless she's on to us," Sam observed. He was the least enthusiastic of all of them; hadn't wanted anything to do with this hazing ritual.
"No way," Ed replied. "She'd have to be psychic to know what's going on. Chili peppers in smoothies; shaving cream in boots... that's all child's play, and something a veteran like Donna would never fall for. This is one she'll never see coming."
"If you say so," Sam said with a shrug.
Lou looked at his watch. "It's been nearly twenty minutes," he said. "Maybe someone should go check on her."
"You mean walk into her locker room?" Wordy asked.
"Why not? She barged into ours," Sam said with a scowl.
"Yeah," Lou said. "Is she even allowed to do that?"
Ed groaned. "What are you, a bunch of kindergarteners, now? I'll go see what the holdup is..."
Five members of the SRU Team One watched Ed Lane stalk off for the locker rooms. He stopped in his tracks as a harried and flustered-looking Donna Sabine came bustling onto the course, fully geared up.
"Sorry I'm late," she said in a huff, barely acknowledging Ed, "but some joker ripped out all the Kevlar® from my vest and replaced it with cream cheese! It was all rancid and reeking to high heaven..."
Spike winced and tried not to make eye contact while Wordy tried his best to keep a straight face.
"I had to borrow a vest from someone on Team Three for today," Donna continued, growing more irate, "I'd like to know which of you clowns did it. I mean really... what if we're called out today? Cream cheese isn't going to stop a bullet."
"Donna," Ed said in a placating tone.
She whirled around to face him, waiting expectantly for someone to make a confession.
"Look," Ed went on, "I know you're upset... and, well... I can't lie to you: Sam did it."
"What?!" Sam cried, instantly turning several shades of red.
"You, Braddock?" Donna said, turning to face the young man.
Sam put up his hands defensively. "It wasn't me," he said indignantly, and his eyes shot to Spike. The tech expert, however, maintained a cherubic expression of total innocence.
"You got a problem with me, Braddock, tell me," Donna ground out. "Hazing, pranks, cold shoulder, whatever - deal with it like a grown up."
"But..." Sam sputtered, smoldering with frustration that the rest of the team was having a private laugh at his expense.
"Okay, that's enough, now," Greg announced. "We're already running late, so let's hustle."
There were no embarrassing moments caught on camera that afternoon, and all members of Team One had successful runs through the obstacle course. Top times were posted by Sam Braddock and newcomer, Donna Sabine.
When they all moved to hit the showers, Greg and Ed hung back.
"You think I pushed Sam too far with that?" Ed asked his Sergeant.
"Naw," Greg replied. "He needs to know that we've noticed his behaviour, and it's not good for the team. If we're not a cohesive unit, we're not going to be effective out there."
Ed nodded his agreement. "At least we got him thinking. But what're we gonna do when Jules gets back? Can we have the two of them on the same team? You saw Sabine blast through the course today..."
"That is the Joker in the pack, isn't it?" Greg mused. "Sam and Jules are going to have to work it out, somehow. Donna knows in no uncertain terms that the spot is Jules' when she gets back; Jules is family."
"You're the boss," Ed commented. "You know I'll support you 100%."
Sam showered quickly and briskly. He wanted to wash away his frustration, and didn't want to linger in the locker room and face his team mates. He couldn't understand why Ed had let him take the fall for the hazing ritual. As the hot water beat down on his bare skin like sharp needles, he reflected on Donna's angry words, about him giving her the cold shoulder.
Well, you're certainly right about that, he thought. You've had a rough start, and I don't envy you what went down with that prisoner escort the other week, but you're not Jules, and you'll never replace her.
Still Sam had to wonder if maybe his actions were too overt; that the senior members of the team had picked up on his attitude, and were sending him a subtle message to tone it down.
He stepped out of the shower, toweled dry and dressed in street clothes. The other guys were still in their stalls, and he decided he'd just take off. He was about to leave when he was met at the locker room entrance by Donna.
"What do you want?" Sam said, bristling at her presence.
"I just wanted to say I know it wasn't you," she answered, ignoring his snide tone. "The cream cheese thing. I know it wasn't you."
"Oh," Sam replied. "Is that all?"
"No," Donna continued, "I don't know what I've done to offend you, Braddock, but we have got to start respecting each other."
"You haven't done anything," Sam managed to say. You haven't done anything except usurp Jules' place on the team.
"Then what's the problem?"
"Nothing, okay? Just forget it." Sam made a motion to move off. Donna put hand on his arm to stop him. "Hey," he snapped, instantly tensing; not wanting to be touched, least of all by her.
"'Forget it'?" Donna repeated. "Look, Sam, I'm sorry I'm not Jules. But I'm on this team, and unless there's trust all the way, we're not going to be effective when it counts. We have a job to do, and I worked hard to earn this position. And you know what? That position is for Jules when she gets back. Sarge made that very clear to me."
Sam felt the tension slowly leaving his body. When Jules gets back...
"Truce?" Donna held out a hand, a hopeful expression on her face.
Sam considered for a few moments. She really wasn't a terrible person, and she understood where her place was... which would be off the team when Jules returned... And Jules was already making such great strides...
"Truce," Sam finally said, and grasped Donna's hand firmly.
A sudden bellow of dismay erupted from the Men's locker room.
"What the hell is this?!" came Spike's voice. Donna couldn't suppress a smile.
Sam looked at her questioningly, then cocked his head to the locker room entrance. "What's up?" he asked.
"Go and see," she answered enigmatically.
He turned and entered to find Spike, wrapped in a towel, staring at his open locker. There was an odor coming from it that caused him to instantly turn up his nose.
"She spread it everywhere!" Spike cried, gesturing to his locker, clothes, duffel bag, and shoes. Wordy and Lou were holding their sides because they were laughing so hard.
"What is it?" Sam asked curiously, though he already suspected the answer.
"Rancid cream cheese," Spike answered in disgust. "How did she know?!"
END