Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit is being made.

A/N: So, this is my first fan-fiction in a very long time, and my first ever attempt at Castle fic. Not 100% sure where this is going, but I definitely have a longer story in mind. We'll see where the plot takes it, I suppose. For now, I hope you enjoy it, and reviews would be wonderfully encouraging. ;)

***

These late nights were going to be the death of him. Detective Kevin Ryan dropped his empty paper cup into the trash beside his desk, and leaned back in his chair, stretching out the best he could after six hours of filling out reports. His back popped uncomfortably, and he leaned forward again quickly to avoid cramping up, an irritated hiss escaping him.

"Yo, man, you ok?" Esposito asked, glancing up from his own stack of paperwork. He wasn't looking much better than his weary partner, his eyes red and surrounded by tight lines of fatigue.

"Yeah, I'm good. I hate paperwork. I'm gonna take a break, walk down to the corner and grab a coffee. You want anything?"

"A week in Hawaii, a cool million bucks, supermodels to wait on me hand and foot?" Esposito offered, before standing up and grabbing his jacket. "I'll come with you, I could use a chance to stretch my legs."

"Right, I know." Ryan stood up and grabbed his wallet and keys, glancing around to see if he could get a bead on Beckett. He knew she hadn't left yet- Beckett could always be counted on to stay ridiculously late if there was work to be done. Her jacket was on the back of her chair, her bag sitting on the floor beside her desk, but he couldn't spot her. Eh, her loss- and anyway, thanks to Castle's gift, they could make a halfway decent cup of coffee at the precinct, now.

Ryan followed Esposito to the elevator, giving an exhausted sigh of relief when the doors closed, cutting off the sight of the pile of work still to be done.

"I swear those files keep getting bigger," he complained, thinking longingly of the bed he probably wouldn't be seeing for another day. Esposito bumped his shoulder, the easy gesture of camaraderie providing at least a little comfort.

"Hey, could be worse. We could be down in Vice- have you seen their case load lately? I don't think Murray's been home in a week. And seriously, what else do you have to do?"

"Remind my girlfriend I'm alive?" Ryan countered, though really, it wasn't Jenny he was missing at the moment. She was a sweet girl, but she couldn't compare to his own shower in his own bathroom followed by a solid eight hours in his own bed.

"Yeah, right, don't want her thinking you've forgotten about her, do you honeymilk?"

"Man, come on, lay off," Ryan huffed, but his heart wasn't really in it. He didn't mind the ribbing, it was a comfortable habit that meant everything was okay. It was really bad when the good-natured teasing stopped. He'd been more sensitive to the ebb and flow of the friendly banter between them since the whole Issac thing. He'd been forced to stop and take stock, to really consider what his partnership with Esposito meant- and it had scared him a little bit. When he'd seen Holliwell bloodied but standing, with Esposito nowhere to be seen... He'd never been so scared, so angry, before. In the minute it had taken to get to him, in that horrible minute when he'd been sure Esposito had been shot, or worse, it had felt like the bottom had dropped out of his world. He was trying not to think too hard about what that meant, focusing instead on getting his backlog of work cleaned out so that he could justify taking a few days off. He needed a break, needed a chance to take a step back and get himself sorted out.

"Ryan. Earth to Ryan. Hello?"

Ryan blinked, and realized the elevator doors had opened, and Esposito was holding them from the outside, looking at him with exasperation.

"Right. Sorry. I guess I'm more tired than I thought," he lied, exiting the elevator and faking a yawn.

"Uh huh. Try to pay more attention, or I'm gonna hafta hold your hand when you cross the street." Esposito paused, and Ryan blinked again, only belatedly realizing that he was waiting for some sort of indignant response to his teasing.

"Ha ha," he offered weakly, and Esposito frowned.

"Dude, what's up with you tonight?" Ryan tried not to read too much into his partner's concerned tone, shifting uncomfortably.

"Nothing. It's late, I'm tired, I haven't seen Jenny in days. I'm a little zoned, that's all."

"It's not just tonight," Esposito said with a frown, and Ryan cursed silently. That was the one problem with his job- he was surrounded by cops. Smart cops, cops who were good at their jobs. Cops who could tell when someone wasn't telling the whole truth, and who took the time to notice small details others might miss. "You've been acting weird since we took down Holliwell- what's the deal?"

"I'm not allowed to be a little stressed out?" Ryan countered, a flare of annoyance catching him unprepared. It wasn't about Racine, or Holliwell, or I-would've-taken-a-bullet-for-him Ike Thornton. "I'm not allowed to be a little tense and a little tired? I thought-" he cut off sharply, and cursed. He hadn't meant to start down that path, he really hadn't. He sped up down the sidewalk, grateful for the briskness of the night air. It gave him an excuse for the pink flush of his cheeks.

"Hey- hey!" Esposito called after him, his scowl audible in his tone, and the sound of his footfalls quickened as he moved to keep up. "What the hell, man? If you've got something to say to me, say it. Don't pull this shit. I'm your partner, talk to me!"

"Like you were so chatty about what was going on with Thornton?" Ryan snapped, turning to face Esposito, noticing with some spiteful enjoyment that he'd managed to catch him off-guard. "At least when I said I was going out to walk I meant it! I wasn't blowing you off to risk my badge and my neck for someone who might damn well have been playing for the other side!"

"Fuck, man, is that what this is about? He was my partner; he needed my help. I thought he was dead-"

"And I thought you were dead!" The words exploded from him with more force than he'd meant them to; Esposito blinked, falling silent. "Do you not get that? Do you not get that seeing Holliwell marked but walking, armed... I thought he'd killed you. How else could he have gotten away from you, right?" Ryan paused, glad for the lateness of the hour- the street was at least mostly empty. They had at least the illusion that their conversation- argument, whatever- was private. "You walked away from me to help Thornton and I thought it got you killed. Put yourself in my shoes, Esposito." He turned away, shoulders tense, expression closed. "I don't really feel like coffee right now. I'm going to go back to the station and get back to work." He started walking- the silence behind him was enough for him to know Esposito wasn't following. He was halfway back down the block before he heard him call after him.

"Ryan... Kevin, wait," Esposito called, and Ryan paused, reluctantly allowing his partner to catch up to him. "Seriously, bro, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking it through. It... The case, Racine, Ike... It dragged me back, you know? Like it was still three years ago, like I was still out of the 54th and I didn't have anyone left to lean on and I wasn't thinking. I screwed up." Ryan knew Esposito well enough to know his words were genuine- there was no tell-tale wrinkle at the corner of his mouth, no slight crease in his brow that would suggest he was being anything but honest. Which, really, didn't help much.

"Nice to know we're all so forgettable," Ryan replied bitterly. "Seriously, I thought you knew you could count on us- on me."

"I do know-"

"Then why didn't you? I was right there, Javi, I offered to help. You turned me down."

"I was taking a stupid chance, Kev, I couldn't let you take that risk. The odds were bad, man. It was my unfinished business; I wasn't gonna let you risk your neck. Or your badge. Not for my ghosts." Esposito shook his head, and Ryan read his intensity, his need for understanding in the set of his shoulders, in the tense line of his jaw. He wasn't sure what to think- he didn't want Esposito trying to protect him like that. If they were partners, they had to be on the level, they had to be on equal footing. Still, he could see where Esposito was coming from, at least. He wasn't sure he would have done differently.

"Next time, I go with you. End of story," Ryan said finally, his expression set.

"Won't be a next time, bro. Not that many skeletons left in my closet, you know?" Esposito gave him a tentative smile, offering it up like an olive branch. "I get it, though. I was out of line. It won't happen again." He paused, caught Ryan's gaze, held it. "Are we cool?"

A little of the tension leaving his shoulders, Ryan managed a faint smile in return.

"Yeah, we're cool. Let's go get that coffee- the reports aren't going to file themselves."