Purpose
Insanity
Fucking hell… He really hated his classes. Okay maybe not all of them, but the majority were boring, were wastes of time and had equally boring, equally waste-of-time assignments. Especially this one.
Insanity was a bitch, Kanda decided, staring at his computer screen unseeingly. It had been on the same white page for around half an hour now. The same blank white page. In fact , the little blinking cursor was starting to bother him, had after just five minutes, but he couldn't bring himself to exit the document. Oh, he damn well could, but that would be an automatic zero out of fifty much-needed points. Just because he hadn't studied for the fucking midterm did not mean… Meh. That wasn't really anything new anyway and normally it wouldn't've been a problem either, but his professor had up and cancelled one and a half weeks of class the day of the midterm, which effectively made him forget every single little thing he had learned up to that point. Hospitalized or not, that just hadn't been cool. So here he was, sitting and staring at the computerized version of a blank sheet of paper that was getting abso-fucking-lutely nowhere.
He had been charged, quite purposefully he suspected (fucking abominators), with the extremely and utterly unwanted task of writing something, anything, in the point of view of an insane person. This had to be pre-meditated. Fuck, he was sure it was. Did they think him fucking dense or something? The not-so-subtle hints they'd been dropping everywhere for him to find the last semester and a half had been just begging him to go see a shrink and take care of his mental issues. No, his problem was that he didn't have any fucking issues so them insisting he go fix his nonexistent problems was stupid and counterproductive. Fucking psychos.
So it began anew. He sat there, staring at the blank white screen in front of him, frustration building and a familiar irritation straining to be let out. Just as he was about to tear himself away from the garishly white screen in front of him, he felt more than heard his door slam open and heard rather than saw an annoyance enter through the probably-broken door.
"Yuu-chan!"
"…you're paying for that door, idiot rabbit," Kanda growled almost calmly, not even bothering to tear his eyes from the screen in front of him. He felt the rabbit deflate behind him.
"But Yuu-chan…!"
"No buts, fucking rabbit. You break it, you buy it. Isn't that how it is in stores? Just think of it like you're constantly in a store when I'm around. It'll be that much easier for the both of us."
The rabbit pouted from his place by the now-unhinged door, especially when he saw the level of concentration that Kanda was affording him (i.e. none). He seemed to pause for a minute as he stared down at the door and realized he might already be treading on some really paper-thin ice from the expression on the other's face. Take it slow, Lavi, take it slow a voice whispered somewhere in the depths of his mind. Personality number 48 was it? Lil? What the hell are you still doing here?
Amidst his internal controversy, Lavi found that he could not quite concentrate on the being in front of him, which was something of a novelty for the dark-haired samurai, who had never once heard a prolonged silence from the rabbit in front of him. Glancing around to make sure the rabbit hadn't left to break something in his hallway or perhaps another door, he was quite surprised when he saw the other man leaning against the doorframe, locked in an interesting battle of "who can make the most creative faces." With himself.
Weird guy, Kanda found himself thinking as he continued to stare and Lavi made some of the most record-breakingly interesting faces he had ever seen on the guy. Sighing, Kanda decided he had had enough. As much as he hated it, he had an assignment to do and a not-quite-annoying (for once) rabbit in his room.
"Are you going to tell me why you're here or do I have to kick you out without even hearing you out?"
Lavi jumped about half a foot at the calm statement, "Oh, Yuu-chan, didn't realize you were still there. Lots to do lately, guess I spaced out. Didn't know quite what I was doing, you know how it is. School really is a bitch lately and all, guess I haven't slept enough. Man I really need some sle-"
"Rabbit. Shut. Up." Lavi's mouth closed with a resounding snap that sounded like it really hurt, "You tend to babble yourself in circles when you're shaken you know. Regardless, I will ignore the fact that you are a complete imbecile and give you a chance (the only one you'll ever get, mind you). Tell me what you are doing here." There was a pause, "And I mean now."
"Well. Er. The bean sprout's birthday is tomorrow-"
"-No it's not, what the hell are you talking about?"
Lavi gave him a weird look, "Yes it is. Don't you even know what today is? Have you lost all track of time in this little room you call a haven?"
Kanda took a calming breath, "You shut that mouth or I will shut it for you. So the bean sprout's birthday is tomorrow, what do I care?"
Lavi pouted again, "I thought we were all friends. I'm getting Lenalee and a whole bunch of others together to celebrate. And you are coming as well." A pregnant pause filled the space after Lavi's statement, "No ifs, ands or buts about it."
Kanda ran a hand over his face, "I can't."
Lavi made a loud sound that was very unlike him, "Like hell you can't. You're his best friend (or one of them at least). You will be there or you will be sorry."
Kanda just looked at him, "No, you don't understand. I literally cannot go to this birthday party you have in store for him. I have to write this fucking paper. Insanity is a real bitch."
Lavi stared, then sent several searching glances between Kanda's face and the computer screen before sighing, "Fine. I'll help you and then we can go get him presents and we can go to the party. It's not a long paper is it?" Kanda opened his mouth to answer but was cut off, "Good. In any case, it shouldn't take too long." So rather begrudgingly they both set down to work.
An hour later the former blank white page on the computer screen had a sentence written on it.
"Progress!" Lavi exclaimed as Kanda looked at him as if he were insane-maybe that was the point? "Onward, ho!"
Kanda rolled his eyes and hit the man over the head, "You will shut up now or I will make you shut up."
"Yes sir!"
"Good. Now work. Stupid rabbit."
Three hours later the paper was finally complete. About an hour in, they had finally come across something of substantial use to them which had been the trigger to writing like an insane person. Now, removing themselves from this persona was proving a tad bit difficult.
"You're a moron, rabbit."
"What the fuck, rabbit? Who's a fucking rabbit?"
"You are, I am, we're all fucking rabbits!"
Kanda looked slightly disgusted before giggling slightly, "Those freaks at school have nothing on us. We are the almighty rabbits of… of…"
Just then Allen made his way carefully through the ruins of the doorway, "What the hell happened here?"
The two other boys in the room turned to face him rather quickly as Lavi jumped up and down from his place on Kanda's bed, "Rabbit here, rabbit there. Where are all the rabbit… mares?"
Kanda ran a hand through his hair slowly as Allen stared in disbelief at the scene in front of him, "What. The. Hell."
"You wouldn't believe the kind of assignments teachers give nowadays, bean-sprout-chan, there's all sorts of rabbits and whatnot! It's soooooooooooooooo…." and then he promptly passed out on the bed.
Allen glanced at the passed-out rabbit before turning his gaze to the samurai in front of him, "…Kanda? Are you ok?"
Kanda looked troubled for a second before his face cleared into an evil-looking smirk, "Just perfect," he stated before standing up slowly and inching toward the bean sprout.
"Now hold on there Kanda," Allen backed away slowly, "Don't do anything rash. We are all calm, rational people here," Allen glanced at the rabbit on the bed, "With the exception of a stupid rabbit now laying claim to your bed."
Kanda paused a moment before continuing, "What do I care? I'm being perfectly rational." With that, he grabbed the bean sprout's unwilling hand and pulled him after him, "Besides I have a present for Y.O.U. bean sprout," he whispered in his ear sensually.
Allen stopped resisting and followed the other man out of the room.
The next day as Kanda was sitting in bed-not his own, he realized-he made the decision that insanity wasn't so bad. And doors were nice. He was more determined than ever to get Lavi to pay for that door, but first… He leant in toward the sleeping white-haired figure next to him and nibbled on his ear, "Happy birthday… Allen."
The man moaned, waking up almost immediately before pulling his partner down for another round, "My birthday isn't for another three months, what are you talking about?"
Kanda paused before an evil smile flashed across his face and his eyes showed as if they were contemplating someone's death, "…right. Well, I'll let it drop for now but the next time I see that stupid rabbit…"
Allen chuckled huskily, "If I can help it that won't be for a long… long… time," he stated punctuating each word with a kiss.
Err… so this is a lot earlier of an update than they normally are (surprise surprise!) but the trade-off is that I probably won't be updating for a long time yet. I'll get one up as soon as I can but for the next few months I will be busy beyond all else. Regardless, I will try. Hope you enjoyed!
waterlit- Er sorry. I'm well aware that long paragraphs can be both a bore and a chore to read, but the formatting of this one was to me what made the entire thing so I didn't want to change it. It was supposed to be somewhat incomprehensible since he was telling a dream and I hoped to get that out through long paragraphs that are a bore and a chore to read haha. Hope you liked this one too! Keep reading? (:
Famelia Ly- I'm glad to hear that you've been following the stories! I know they're kind of spread out (1, 5, 10, etc) and that's always a bit of a really big cliff-hanger, but I hope you'll hang in there. I'm hoping I can update a couple more times, but as I said before it'll be a bit of a challenge. I will certainly try though! Thanks for the review!