Part 3

Rita walked into pandemonium in House's office. Everyone was talking at once. A man she assumed to be Dr. House was yelling about thieves. Pete looked scared to death, but he kept trying to talk over House. Sherry was crying, quite loudly. And Henry, the security guard, was trying his hardest to calm everyone down.

Rita new nothing would be accomplished if she didn't get control of this situation first. In a voice louder than all of the rest, she yelled, "What the hell is going on here?"

House turned to her and yelled back, "Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm their fucking boss! And I need all of you to shut up so that I can figure this out." Rita was born in Trenton, NJ, in the 'Burg, and she did not let anyone out yell or out curse her.

House glared at her and she got a good look at blue eyes that bore into her like lasers. He was a jerk, but wow, he was sexy. Almost made her forget she was a married woman. Until the next moment, when he opened his mouth again.

"Well, fucking boss, your kiddies here are stealing my stuff. I want them arrested!"

"Yeah, I kinda got that idea. But you're gonna shut up and let me find out what the hell is going on first."

"What's going on is that they've been stealing my stuff for weeks!"

Rita glared at him, then turned to Pete and Sherry. "Is this true?"

"No, Rita, we never stole anything."

"I caught them RED-HANDED! They were taking my keyboard. Look, it's in their cart!"

Rita glanced over and that indeed, the keyboard was in the cart.

Through her tears, Sherry said, "We TOOK them, but we didn't STEAL them. We just moved them. He always got them back."

"That true?" Rita asked House.

"Yes, but that's not the point."

"You're right, but it isn't stealing if you still have the stuff."

House opened his mouth to disagree, but she stopped him. "I've heard all I need to hear from you right now." She turned to her employees. "What would possess you to do this?"

"We were mad that you kept getting complaints about him." Pete said. "Every night, you said, all the complaints were about him and the mess he made."

"No one ever told you to take matters into your hands." Rita told them.

They nodded. "We know."

"Okay, Pete and Sherry, go to my office and wait for me."

Henry spoke up. "Mrs. DeMascio, I have to make a report on this for Dr. Cuddy."

"Absolutely, Henry. I will write up a report myself and you can sign it. I'll be happy to be with you when you give it Dr. Cuddy. In fact, why don't you escort Pete and Sherry so that you make sure they get there?"

Pete swallowed. "Are we in trouble? Are we gonna be fired?"

"Yes, you are in trouble. I don't know anything else right now. Just go."

They looked at her once more and even snuck a glance at House's angry face, before leaving the office.

"This is bullshit!" House complained. "They're thieves!"

"They aren't thieves. You still have all your stuff. They just moved it."

"But—"

"Look, if you weren't such a pig around this hospital, this wouldn't happen. You leave your shit everywhere and expect other people to pick up after you."

"I expect YOU to pick up after me. You're my maid."

"Talk about bullshit! I'm nobody's maid. Especially not yours."

"You're Housekeeping, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm House. You have to KEEP me."

She rolled her eyes. "That's really lame, Doctor. I'd heard enough to expect better from you."

"I'm serious. Why do think it's called Housekeeping? It's to keep House – happy. In fact, why don't you drop to your knees right now, lovely Rita? Let's see how happy you can make me."

Now she narrowed her eyes at him. "That's disgusting and degrading. Even if I wasn't married, I could do a lot better than you."

He just smirked at her. Despite herself, she was taken in by the blue eyes and mischievous grin. Not that she would ever let him know that!

"Dr. House, if you can behave like a civilized human being for five minutes, I think we can figure this out."

"Figure what out? Your people are thieves. You probably are too. You probably get a cut of everything they steal!"

"A cut of what? Nothing was stolen! You got everything back. What could anyone have profited from taking those things?"

"Exactly! So why did they do it?"

"Maybe because you're the biggest slob in this hospital. You leave trash, garbage, crap everywhere! The clinic, your office, even the room of that poor man in a coma!"

"Hey, he likes the company."

She just gave him a withering look. "I get constant complaints about the mess you've made and my staff spends most of their time just cleaning up after you. And if that's not bad enough, you have your Dr. Foreman complain that your office needs to be cleaned. As if we don't already know that."

House thought about why Foreman was being such a prick to Housekeeping. He didn't mind being a prick himself, but he didn't want others honing in on his territory. And why did Foreman care? House didn't care.

But if he was honest, he was pretty careless around the hospital. It just never occurred to him that people were bothered by it.

"So, are you going to fire Bonnie and Clyde?"

"Probably not."

"So they get off scot free?"

"No, they will be reprimanded and it will be on their performance records. They may lose their raises this year. But they are both working their way through school, as are most of my staff. They didn't really steal anything, so there isn't any reason to fire them."

"But—"

"Oh, grow up! Your stuff wasn't hurt. And they won't do it again; I can assure you of that."

House grumbled something under his breath. But he couldn't really complain. She was right: nothing was stolen. And those kids had looked terrified. He didn't have a need to force two kids to lose their job. However, he couldn't let Rita think that he was soft.

"Well, if you're going to let your staff walk all over you, that's your business."

She rolled her eyes again. She knew what game he was playing, but decided to let him.

"So, are you going to pursue this further?" She asked.

"As long as they don't touch anything…I guess not."

"Thank you, Dr. House, that's very gracious of you."

"That's me, the soul of human kindness."

"Right." She said dryly. "And, while we're talking, do you think it's possible for you to be a little more conscientious around the hospital when it comes to trash and stuff?"

"It's possible. It's not probable, but it is possible."

She just gave him a smile and left the office. As he watched her leave, admiring her rear, he thought that he could possibly be a little better about his trash. That would only be right.

But he also thought about brooms and mops and such. And wouldn't it be interesting if they started moving?

The End

Thanks everyone for the great response to this little story! As I said, this isn't a romance - Rita is a happily married woman. But you will see Rita again. I think House needs more friends around the hospital and she will be good for him. Their relationship will be friendly, flirty and feisty. But not a roamnce. I may do another short story featuring Rita, but she will definitely appear as a minor character in longer stories that are romances. I like her and I hope you do too.

Thansk again! Louise