This is the first of what I hope to be many LFG stories. I hope you enjoy.

It was a bright sunny day with Cale and the others. Nothing fun to do at all. Maybe he should not have messed with the portals. But he did.

Richard found himself in a place far from what was appealing to him. There were no rotting corpses, decapitated animals, or swarms of undead. The portal had disappeared, and he was in a bright green forest. The only thing good about nice places, is that they have lots of things to kill. Richard soon found this place to be an exception. There was not a creature to be seen, just lots and lots of trees. Fog twisted and twirled throughout the trees, leaving drops of dew on the leaves, which dropped to the ground. There were small puddles on the ground, which rippled when Richard took a step. 'Only one thing to do.' Richard thought, as he raised his hands, igniting them in reddish orange flames.

The flames spread as soon as they touched the trees, scorching them as the fire spread. The forest burned to ashes in a matter of minutes, as it was lit up by the flames. The only exception for miles was a large patch of green on the horizon, fog still hovering over it, like clouds. Richard started walking there, flustered 'How is it not ashes now.' He thought to himself as he traveled along to black and brown dirt that had been scorched by the flamed. Patches of mud, mixed with ashes, had replaced the puddles on the ground. Richard was used to long walks from his trips with the group, unfortunately he was alone, and had no one to talk to/torment. There was no one to torture as far as the eye could see.

As he neared the patch of green, he could now see that it was trees, and they were still wet, apparently the fire had been put out by someone who knew how to deal with fire. "Hey there fellow. What brings you to our fine town of Elvenville on this scorching morning?" The elf said, chuckling at his joke. "What about m- I mean the fire?" Richard asked the plump elf. "Oh that's simple, our fire department did that." "Anyone wounded?" Richard asked hopefully. "Our universal health care takes care of that for us, so there is no need to worry." "Were there any damages?" "Paid for by the Labor Trade Housing Second Division of the Third Divison's Fifth Sub-Division, Housing Department, Fire Damage Sub-Section, or L.T.H.S.D.T.D.F.S.D.H.D.F.D.S.S. for short." "So you're socialist." Richard said making a mental note to kick the lightning up a few trillion volts. "That just about sums it up." said the elf. "What do you think of warlocks here?" asked Richard "They are fine if they register with the Second Division of Magi nd Other Magic Users Fourth Division of the Magic Bureau, Dark Magic Sub-Division Number Twenty Five Group Two or S.D.M.A.O.M.U.F.D.M.B.D.M.S.N.T.F.G.T. for short." "May I deliver a speech to the public?" Asked Richard. "Sure, if you talk to the Speech Management Regulatory Commission of All Public Speeches Pertaining to Public Things Such As Policy and What Is In The Future, or S.M.R.C.A.P.S.P.P.P.T.S.A.P.W.I.I.T.F. For short."

Many Outrageous Acronyms Later (M.O.A.L.)...

Richard stood on the podium in front of crowds of elves chanting "Warty Dude! Warty Dude!"

The crowd was like an ocean, waiting what the Warlock had to say. Richard cleared his throughout " I, Richard, chief warlock of the brothers of darkness, lord of the thirteen hells, master of the bones, Emperor of the black, lord of the undead, Mayor of a small village up the coast, and lord of the dance. Some score, and some years ago, our ancestors strayed towards magic. Since then, they have been shunned, even though they are legal when because their opposition is dead (Which it is). I find this constant discrimination against my kind rather offensive. It is time... For change. I say to you my friends, that even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. I have a dream that one day warlocks will rise up and cast of the shackles of oppression. I have a dream that we will one day, not be judged by how different we are from you. I have a dream that one day we will be looked at and labeled, simply, as friend. I have a dream that one day, when all of this occurs, that we will take the advantage of surprise, and slaughter as many of you as possible. I have a dream that there will be no structure left standing, no man or woman left un-decapitated, and no baby left un-devoured. I have a dream that none of you will be spared from the horrors of our rule. Free at last! You're all dead, but we are free at last! FOR PONY!!!!!!!!!" and as he finished, he bombarded the crowd with lightning. The panic that followed was a blur. Elves were scurrying everywhere finding sticks to try use as weapons to protect themselves from the mage. Buildings were burning, and the sky had gone black. The podium caught fire, and the S.M.R.C.A.P.S.P.P.P.T.S.A.P.W.I.I.T.F. Burned to the ground. "Why did we not put more money into the In Case of An Attack And I-" an elf said as he had his a blast of ice struck his heart, killing him. The defenseless elves dropped like flies in a napalm rain, brandishing sticks to try to hold off the warlock's advances.

In the chaos, one elf in particular seemed to know how to fight well, and even had a sword. The sword was reflecting the light of the flames as he hid in an alley between two burning houses. "Who are you?" asked Richard, while frying an elf, who had tried to sneak up on him, without even looking. "I am Julian of the warrior elves in North forest dark." the sword wielding elf said as he back flipped over, dodging a bolt of lightning. The elf retreated into the alley farther, dodging blasts of ice and fire. When Richard entered the alley, the elf ran at him along the wall. When he reached Richard, he jumped the other wall, ran up the wall, and back flipped over Richard, making a slash at his head. A slab of ice appeared over Richard's head saving him. Without his ice magic, his head would have been split in two. "You are truly evil, ergo, your race truly is evil. Just more proof for Cale if I get back." Richard said as he plunged his hand into the elf's chest, and ripped his heart out. "The look on your face when your realized your heart had been ripped out, priceless, now time for me to eat it in front of you." Richard said as he ate the heart, watching blood spout from the elf's chest. The elf turned as white as a sheet, as the blood drained from his body, collecting in a pool on the ground.

The slaughter continued for hours, until every last elf had been killed, every drop of blood drained, and every head had been used as a puppet in a new music video. Blood soaked the decimated streets of the torched Elvenville. Ashes were all that remained of the once prospering socialist civilization. 'Just in a day's work for a warlock' Richard thought, as a portal opened.