A/N: This is the favorite New Moon AU scenario -- the wolves have FURSPLODE!-ed, but the Cullens didn't come back. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Set a month or so post-cliff jump.

I detest imprinting, but I love Leah. This makes life difficult. So... imprinting exists, but for the love of God, there is no Claire and Quil, all right? That's just too sick for words.

Oh, and to whoever sent these plot bunnies in my direction: my therapist would like to have a word with you.

The Sad Girl and the Angry Girl

is love so small a pain, do you think, for a woman?

--Euripedes, "Medea"

Once upon a time there were two girls.

The first one had loved deeply, and had been loved deeply in return. But the one she loved left her. She became The Sad Girl.

The second one had loved deeply, and had been loved deeply in return. But the one she loved left her. She became The Angry Girl.

The Sad Girl knew that sadness was all she would feel for the rest of her life. The Angry Girl knew that anger was all she would feel for the rest of her life. And so they continued on alone, being sad and being angry, for a very long time.

Until one day, when the Sad Girl and the Angry Girl were not quite so alone anymore.

The Sad Girl had been busy being sad, which is why she did not come to the front door immediately when she heard the knocking. Eventually she got out of bed and trudged down the stairs, because the knocking had turned into pounding and the Sad Girl could no longer ignore it.

The Sad Girl's expression turned surprised when she saw the Angry Girl on her front step, the red tip of her cigarette glowing in the dim light of late evening.

"Hi, Leah," the Sad Girl said, wrinkling her nose at the smoke. "Are you on guard duty?" (The Sad Girl was being hunted by a woman who had loved deeply, then lost her love and became The Psychotically Vengeful Girl. But that is another story.)

"Yep," said the Angry Girl. Her tone was cold, as always. "But you don't get to sit on your ass tonight. We have Pack business."

The Sad Girl blinked. "Really? Jake didn't say anything about--"

"Jacob doesn't get to know everything and neither do you, Bella Swan," the Angry Girl said. She took a last drag, then dropped her cigarette on the front step and crushed it under her boot. "You're coming with me, so get in." She jerked her head toward an old Jeep parked on the street.

"You drove here?"

The Angry Girl rolled her eyes in disgust. "How else are you supposed to get to the rez? I'm not fuckin' carrying you."

"Of course not," the Sad Girl sputtered, "I just didn't think--"

"What a shock. Let's go." The Angry Girl turned towards her car.

"Wait, hang on," said the Sad Girl, hesitating in the doorway. "How long is this going to take? I have to tell Charlie when I'll be back."

"It'll take as long as it takes," said the Angry Girl.

The Sad Girl huffed out an impatient sigh. "Two hours? Three hours?"

"Longer. All night, probably."

"Oh. Wow." The Sad Girl thought for a minute, then leaned back into the house and called, "Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?" a voice came from somewhere inside.

"I'm going to the Clearwaters' house. I'll be back in the morning, okay?"

There was a long pause. "The Clearwaters? Really?"

"Yeah," the Sad Girl said, glancing back at the Angry Girl. "Leah and I are... having a sleepover."

The Angry Girl looked revolted.

"Um, all right," came the voice again, sounding surprised. "Have fun."

As they walked to the Jeep the Angry Girl said, "If you try to paint my nails, I'll snap your hand off at the wrist."

After fifteen minutes on the road, the Sad Girl finally asked, "So, where are going?"

"The beach," said the Angry Girl.

"Okay," said the Sad Girl, sounding confused. "Who's going to be there?"

"You. Me."

The Sad Girl's face was suddenly apprehensive as she turned to look at the Angry Girl. "But what about Sam, and Jake, and everyone else? I thought you said this was Pack business."

"It is Pack business," the Angry Girl said, her voice short. "But the others, including Sam," (her lips twisted bitterly on the name), "have no idea how to deal with the problem."

"What's the problem?"

"You."

"...oh." The Sad Girl's shoulders slumped.

The Angry Girl glanced over at the Sad Girl and narrowed her eyes. "Don't do that."

"What?" said the Sad Girl.

"That." The Angry Girl turned back to the road, where the street lights were flashing by. "That 'woe is me my life is so hard' bullshit. It's pitiful."

"I wasn't trying to," the Sad Girl protested. "I just... I didn't mean to be a problem for anyone."

This did not appease the Angry Girl. "See that? That's what I'm talking about. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that Jacob would throw a fit, I'd slap you so hard your head would spin around."

The Sad Girl stared out the window sadly. The Angry Girl stared out the window angrily.

A few minutes later, the Sad Girl whispered, "What..." Then she swallowed and said in a slightly stronger voice, "What did I do? To be a problem?"

The Angry Girl rolled her eyes. "Oh, gee, I don't know. Maybe it's that you've completely taken over the mind of a rather valuable if stupid pack member, and the rest of us have to hear about it all the fucking time." Her lip curled and she said in falsetto, "Bella this and Bella that and Bella is so unhappy and What can I do to help Bella and blah, blah, blah. Nothing but a constant stream of nauseating emo crap." She snorted. "I'll give the boy credit, he at least tries to keep it under control, but his moaning still leaks out to the collective pack mind. I'm sick of listening to it. Especially when you clearly don't merit that much attention."

The Sad Girl made herself very small in her seat. Tears filled her eyes.

"If you cry," the Angry Girl warned, "I will throw you out of this car and I won't slow down to do it. Do. Not. Cry."

The Sad Girl blinked back her tears just before they escaped down her cheeks. "I'm sorry."

The Angry Girl smacked her hand on the steering wheel. Her palm left a dent. "You're still doing it. Jesus, you are so pathetic. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd... but then Jacob would kill me, and Sam" (that twist again) "would kill Jacob, and the rest of pack would be taken down by that blood-sucking bitch. But if I could... I seriously hate you, you know that?"

After a beat, the Sad Girl said (with just a hint of dryness), "I'm starting to getting that impression."

The Angry Girl glanced over again, looking somewhat mollified.

They drove in silence for another few minutes, until the Sad Girl said, "I should talk to Jake and try to fix this."

"That," said the Angry Girl, "is the last thing you should do. It'll be nothing but My sadness made Bella sadder for weeks, and besides, the boys are already trying to talk to Jacob off the ledge. It never entered their idiotic male minds to talk to you. After all," she said with sarcasm, "it's not like you're the real issue or anything."

The Sad Girl wet her lips and blinked back more tears. "So," she said, "what are we doing, then?"

The Angry Girl pulled off the main road and drove towards La Push. "I'm going to deal with the problem."

The Sad Girl believed that there was only one thing she could feel when her love left her all alone. Many people had tried to convince her otherwise. All had failed.

But then, she'd never had to face the Angry Girl.

The moon made the waves glow silver.

The Angry Girl grabbed a large duffel bag out of the backseat and walked down the beach, leaving the Sad Girl stumbling to keep up on the rocky shore. Thirty feet from the water's edge, the Angry Girl plopped down and pulled out a Duraflame log, settling it into a depression on the ground.

"Aren't we supposed to use driftwood or something?" said the Sad Girl.

"This is my beach, not yours, white girl," said the Angry Girl, lighting the log with her Zippo. It was instantly covered in blue flames. "And I don't feel like finding driftwood."

"Oookay." The Sad Girl watched as the Angry Girl lit a cigarette, then asked, "So, um, are you planning to kill me and burn my remains?"

"Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind," the Angry Girl replied. She blew a smoke ring off into the night. "But, no. That's not the plan."

The Sad Girl sighed in relief.

Once the cigarette had been smoked to the filter, the Angry Girl tossed it onto the log. "All right. Grab the eggs and come on."

"Eggs?" said the Sad Girl.

"They're in the bag." The Angry Girl headed toward the forest's edge without bothering to wait. "And don't drop them, you clumsy idiot," she called over her shoulder.

The Sad Girl opened up the duffel bag. Inside were three cartons of chicken eggs. After shaking her head in confusion, she scooped the cartons up into her arms and walked very carefully (and therefore, by necessity, very slowly) to where the Angry Girl was waiting by a large pine tree.

"Christ, you take forever," said the Angry Girl.

"You said not to drop them," said the Sad Girl, setting the eggs down on the ground. "I didn't want to trip."

"Whatever." The Angry Girl looked thoughtfully at the Sad Girl for a moment. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you have suck-ass night vision."

The Sad Girl frowned. "My eyes aren't bad. I ate my carrots as a kid. Why?"

"What I mean is that you don't see like a wolf." The Angry Girl pointed at the trunk of the pine, which stood straight and tall twenty feet away. "Can you see that, for example?"

"I see it just fine," the Sad Girl said, defensive. "It's not like it's that dark out."

The Angry Girl glanced up at the full moon. "I suppose not. I can't tell anymore what humans would have trouble with." She said 'humans' like 'vermin'. Then she bent over, plucked a white egg out of a carton, and put it in the Sad Girl's hand. "Hit the tree with the egg."

"Excuse me?"

"Hit the tree. With the egg. Are you slow?"

"I can't!" the Sad Girl protested. "I have no coordination, I suck at baseball--"

"Shut up and do as I say," said the Angry Girl, "or I will take the egg and smash it on your head."

The Sad Girl blanched.

"It will be sticky," the Angry Girl continued, "and it will smell and within twenty minutes every bug in the state of Washington will be crawling all over you. And then I will give you another egg, and if you don't throw that one, I will smash it on your head. I brought three cartons. I can do this all night. Get the picture?"

"But..." The Sad Girl gaped at the Angry Girl. "Why?"

The Angry Girl narrowed her eyes. "Because I told you to. Now throw it."

The Sad Girl took a deep breath and threw the egg.

It landed six feet short of the tree.

"That was ridiculous," the Angry Girl said, glaring at the Sad Girl. "You can do better than that, even with those skinny little pipe-cleaner arms." She handed the Sad Girl another egg. "Again." As the Sad Girl pulled back, the Angry Girl added, "So, what was the name of that leech you were with?"

The Sad Girl dropped the egg in shock. It broke open next to her foot.

"It was... Elliot, right?" the Angry Girl continued, forcing another egg into the Sad Girl's limp hand. Her voice dripped with condescension. "Or Eugene?"

"Edward," said the Sad Girl.

"Oh, that's right." The Angry Girl tapped her chin. "I remember now -- Edward Cullen. Tell me, was it like fucking a stone? I've always wondered. Throw your egg," she reminded.

But the Sad Girl couldn't lift her arm. "Don't," she whispered.

"Throw it."

The Sad Girl tossed the egg a few feet.

"Pathetic," said the Angry Girl. "No wonder the blood-sucker didn't want you." She put an egg in the Sad Girl's off-hand. "Maybe you're a lefty. You know, we all saw you in the forest after your sparkly little boyfriend hit the road."

The Sad Girl did not speak.

"It's the benefits of hive mind," the Angry Girl went on. "If one pack member pictures something, we can all see. Like when Sam" (twist) "remembered how you were all curled up on the leaves like some whinging toddler who'd lost her blankie."

"Stop," said the Sad Girl, her voice thick with tears. "Please stop."

"Did Edward look back as he left?" The Angry Girl raised an eyebrow. "He didn't, did he? He just kept walking. Because you never meant a thing to him. You're just a cute little meatsack fuck toy. A momentary distraction from an eternity of boredom."

"Stop it."

"Did you even keep your pride, Bella? Or did you chase him and cry out his name and beg him not to leave you? I'll bet you did. It wasn't good enough to throw away your heart. I bet you threw away your dignity too."

"Shut up!"

The Sad Girl threw the egg.

It splattered against the tree, and ran down the trunk in dribbles of yellow slime.

The Angry Girl nodded. "Better. Now throw another one." The Sad Girl sobbed and tried to sit down in the sand, but the Angry Girl grabbed her arm roughly. "Do. Not. Cry," the Angry Girl said as she yanked the Sad Girl back to her feet. "Crying is useless. Crying doesn't make your life suck any less. Quit whining and grab an egg."

"It hurts." The Sad Girl wrapped her arms around her body. "It hurts."

"Yeah, it hurts. So what?" The Angry Girl lit another cigarette. "You think that makes a difference to anyone? Edward doesn't care that you're hurting. I don't care that you're hurting. Of course, I never claimed to love you." She picked up an egg and held it out to the Sad Girl. "Here."

The Sad Girl shook her head.

"Take it," said the Angry Girl, "or I'll burn you with this lighter, so help me God."

The Sad Girl took a deep, shuddering breath, then held out her hand. The Angry Girl gave her the egg. "Good. Now throw it. Think about how Edward said he loved you. He did say that, I assume?" the Angry Girl asked. "Or was it all in your empty head?"

"No," whispered the Sad Girl. "He said it."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" The Angry Girl cupped a hand to her ear.

"He said it." The Sad Girl stood upright and glared at the Angry Girl. "It wasn't in my head. He said it. He said he loved me."

"Uh-huh. And you believed him?"

"Yes." The Sad Girl threw the egg, and it hit the tree with a thwack. "He did love me."

"Bullshit," said the Angry Girl.

The Sad Girl picked up an egg all on her own. "He did. I know he did."

"I'm sure. That's why he left you alone in the woods and never looked back, right? Because he loved you so very, very much."

Thwack. "Shut up, Leah."

"Why? You don't want to hear it? You think I'm going to treat you like you're a fragile little doll, the way everyone else does?" The Angry Girl smiled a smile that was not a smile. "Your precious leech never loved you to begin with. You know it's true. Otherwise he would have at least tried to stay. Otherwise it would have mattered what you wanted."

Thwack.

"It would have mattered that your heart was breaking."

Thwack.

"But instead," said the Angry Girl, "all you got was the cold forest without even your dignity left to keep you company, while he ran off to his next big adventure. He's probably with some beautiful bloodsucker right now, fucking her brains out, laughing about the sad little girl who bawled like a child and begged him not to go."

Thwack. The Sad Girl's cheeks were flushed in the moonlight, and she was throwing eggs as fast as she could grab them.

"Edward doesn't give a shit about you," the Angry Girl spat. "So stop giving a shit about him. It's repulsive and idiotic. Suck it up."

Thwack.

"Don't ever cry."

Thwack.

"Not ever."

Thwack. "It isn't fair!" The Sad Girl burst out suddenly. "He told me I was his whole life!" Thwack.

The Angry Girl nodded. "He lied."

"He did!" Thwack. The Sad Girl's voice had more anger than sadness. "He lied to me!"

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

Soon, all the eggs were gone. And not a single one wound up on the Sad Girl's head.

The Angry Girl believed that there was only one thing she could feel when her love left her all alone. Many people had tried to convince her otherwise. All had failed.

But then, she'd never had to face the Sad Girl.

The Duraflame log crackled and cast a bluish glow over the faces of the girls.

The Sad Girl sat cross-legged and drank from a bottle of water. The Angry Girl lay on her side and drank from a bottle of Jim Bean. The Sad Girl stared up at the sky. The Angry Girl stared into the fire.

They did not look very much alike.

"Leah?"

"What?"

"Why did you do this?"

"Because I felt like it."

The Sad Girl looked down at the Angry Girl. "But why did you feel like it?"

The Angry Girl did not reply. Instead, she put a cigarette between her teeth and leaned forward until the tip glowed red in the flames.

"Okay, fine." The Sad Girl turned her face back up to the stars.

Finally the Angry Girl answered. "I did it," she said, "because I was sick of seeing your stupid, sad face constantly." Smoke crept out of her mouth and curled into the air. "It's the only thing Jacob ever sees, so I have to see it all the time, too. It gets old."

"Really?" The Sad Girl swallowed. "I mean... does Jake always--"

"Yes, Jake always." The Angry Girl glared at the Sad Girl. "Always, always, always. It's nothing but you. The Bella Channel, twenty-four seven. And you always look like someone just ran over your kitten. It's dull as hell."

"So... you made me throw eggs?" the Sad Girl said, frowning.

"Tried and true method," said the Angry Girl. "Do you still feel like crying?"

A beat, and then the Sad Girl said, "No, actually." She sounded surprised.

"Well, there you go." The Angry Girl took a swallow from her bottle. "It'll still be the Bella Channel, but maybe you'll look pissed once in awhile, or nod your head, or God forbid smile. Anything to break up the monotony. At least," said the Angry Girl, "until it's just you flat on your back screaming Jacob's name."

The Sad Girl was in the middle of a drink of water and sputtered. "What?" she said, coughing.

"Trust me," said the Angry Girl, "once that happens, then that's what will be on constant replay in the boy's mind. I'm not looking forward to it, but one problem at a time."

"Jake and I are just friends," said the Sad Girl. Her face, even in the darkness, was beet red.

The Angry Girl didn't dignify that with a response.

"We are," the Sad Girl insisted.

"Sure."

After a few minutes of silence, the Sad Girl grumbled, "Well, if we ever did, then it would have to be in the dark."

"Werewolf night vision," the Angry Girl reminded her.

"Fine. I'd blindfold him."

The Angry Girl tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "There's an idea. Been thinking about this much, have you?"

"No!" said the Sad Girl.

"Uh-huh."

Silence reigned as the Sad Girl glowered at the Angry Girl. The Angry Girl ignored her entirely.

Eventually, the Sad Girl's face softened and became contemplative. "I didn't, you know," she said.

"Didn't what?"

"Edward" (a slight bitterness in her voice) "and I. We didn't... I mean, you said we did, but we never..." The Sad Girl trailed off, blushing.

The Angry Girl raised an eyebrow. "Fucked?" When the Sad Girl's blush deepened, the Angry Girl rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Bella, it's not a dirty word."

The Sad Girl blinked. "Um..."

"Okay," the Angry Girl amended, "it is. But you can at least say sex, right?"

"Of course I can."

"Well, then say it, if that's what you mean," said the Angry Girl.

"Fine." The Sad Girl blew out a breath, not meeting the Angry Girl's eyes. "Edward and I never had sex."

"Huh. Well, I'm not surprised." The Angry Girl shook her head and dropped her gaze back to the Duraflame. "You always did seem like a prude."

"Well, what about you?" the Sad Girl shot back, looking stung. "Did you and Sam have sex?"

The temperature instantly dropped ten degrees.

"That," said the Angry Girl, "is none of your business."

"Come on, Leah," said the Sad Girl. She crossed her arms. "I told you, so why not tell me? Or are you afraid to admit that you're just as much of a prude as I am?"

The Sad Girl nearly crawled backward on the sand when she saw the expression on the Angry Girl's face. "Fine," the Angry Girl spat out. "We had sex. A lot. Happy now?"

"Yes. Thank you." The Sad Girl bit her lip, then asked, "What's it like?"

The Angry Girl rolled her eyes. "Oh, it's fantastic. It's magical. A string quartet plays in the background and rainbows fly out of your cunt." She took another swig of Jim Bean. "It's just fucking, Bella. It's not a big deal."

"Oh." It was not physically possible for the Sad Girl's face to get any redder. After a moment, she said in a rush, "Well, it seems like a big deal. At least to me. I mean... I wanted to. I was in love with him." When she said 'love', her voice twisted with something like regret. "So it seems like making love would be... special."

"Well, it's not," snapped the Angry Girl. "It doesn't mean anything at all."

The silver waves crashed on the shore.

"Leah?"

"What?"

"Did you beg?" asked the Sad Girl slowly. The Angry Girl looked up at her. "When Sam left, I mean. Did you beg him to stay?"

The Sad Girl held the Angry Girl's venomous glare without flinching. Finally, the Angry Girl looked away and stared into the fire.

"Yes," said the Angry Girl. "I did."

The Sad Girl bit her lip. Then she said, "It really isn't fair."

"Life's not fair."

"Yeah," said the Sad Girl. "I know."

"I had an abortion."

"It's-- wait, what?" The Sad Girl's mouth dropped open as she stared in shock at the Angry Girl. "You what?"

"I had an abortion." The Angry Girl's voice was stone cold. "I was only a few weeks along, and Sam was already shacked up with Emily. So I drove to Seattle and got rid of it."

"I... oh." The Sad Girl blinked several times. "Did you, you know, tell Sam?"

"Of course not. What difference would that have made?"

"I just mean, maybe he would have wanted... If he'd known, maybe he wouldn't have--"

"Wouldn't have what? Left?" The Angry Girl growled like the wolf that she was. "He'd already imprinted. It was done. I wasn't going to beg again. I am never, ever going to beg again. Not to anyone, you understand? And not for anything."

The Sad Girl still stared. "Didn't you want the baby?"

"No," said the Angry Girl. "I don't want anything of his."

The Sad Girl looked at the Angry Girl, then up at the moon, then down at the fire, then at the Angry Girl again. "I'm sorry," she said very, very gently.

"Whatever." The Angry Girl's voice had more sadness than anger. "Anyway, it doesn't matter now."

"Yeah."

The Sad Girl sighed.

The Angry Girl sighed.

Then the Sad Girl pointed to the bottle of Jim Bean and said, "Can I have some of that?"

Once upon a time there was a boy.

This boy had lived his life happily. He was sunny most of the time, and during the times he wasn't, he would always become sunny again soon.

Then he met the Sad Girl. The boy wanted to take away her sadness, but he didn't know how. He used all of the sunniness he had in him, and sometimes he made her smile. But even then she was still sad.

He couldn't stop trying, because the Sad Girl meant everything to him. And so he became The Lovesick Boy. (It was during this period of time that the Lovesick Boy also started turning into a wolf. The Lovesick Boy had a very hard year, all things considered.)

Then, one day, the Lovesick Boy discovered something. He discovered that sometimes, you need more than sunniness to help with sadness.

Branches flew as a reddish-brown wolf, larger than the largest bear, burst out of the trees a few hundred feet from the Duraflame log. When the wolf turned and saw the Sad Girl and the Angry Girl sitting next to the flames, he ceased to be a large wolf and instead became a large human.

"Jake!" squealed the Sad Girl, leaping to her feet. "Look, Leah, it's Jake! Hi, Jake!"

The Angry Girl's hand darted out to grab the Sad Girl's calf, which kept the Sad Girl from tipping backwards onto the log. "Yes, Bella, it's Jacob. Quit yelling or I'll let you burn."

The Lovesick Boy was at the fireside in less time than it took to blink. "Where..." he said, panting, "the hell... have you been?"

"Right here," said the Angry Girl.

"Why didn't you--" The Lovesick Boy was cut off as the Sad Girl threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Uh... Bells?"

"Jake, you're here! Hi!" exclaimed the Sad Girl. She kissed his cheek again. "Leah said there was pack business but there wasn't well there kind of was and she said you wouldn't be here but you are! Hi!"

"I... you... what?"

"Ignore her," the Angry Girl said, sounding disgusted. "She's been like this for hours. I hate happy drunks."

"She's drunk?" The Lovesick Boy's eyes widened as the Sad Girl nuzzled against him.

"I missed you!" said the Sad Girl, her voice muffled by the Lovesick Boy's chest. "I'm so glad you came!"

"He's going to come," said the Angry Girl, "if you don't knock that off. Jacob, for God's sake, put some pants on."

The Lovesick Boy looked down at himself, then at the Sad Girl hugging him fiercely, then at the Angry Girl shaking her head. "Oh. I, uh, didn't bring..."

The Angry Girl rolled her eyes. "I've got some spare clothes in the duffel bag. Because I at least think ahead, unlike the rest of you mutts."

"I was in a hurry," the Lovesick Boy said, his tone defensive. He reached up and tugged gently at where the Sad Girl's arms were wrapped around his neck. "Bella? Not that I'm complaining, but can you let me go for just a second?"

"No," said the Sad Girl. "It's cold out and you're warm."

The Angry Girl stood up with a sigh and pulled on the Sad Girl's shoulders. "Christ, you're hopeless. Quit hugging the kid before he stains your shirt."

"Leah!" said the Sad Girl excitedly, turning to throw her arms around the Angry Girl. "You're warm too!"

The Angry Girl glared at the Lovesick Boy, who was blinking. "Get dressed and get her off of me," the Angry Girl snapped, "before I do something drastic."

The Lovesick Boy stepped away and started rifling through the bag. "What the hell is this all about? I went to Bella's and she was gone, you were gone, no one knew where you were..." His voice trailed off as he pulled out a pair of printed pajama pants. "Rubber duckies?" said the Lovesick Boy, raising an eyebrow. "Really?"

"They were a gift," said the Angry Girl. "Do you want them or not?"

The Lovesick Boy pulled on the pajamas before continuing in an irritated tone, "I'm not kidding, Leah, I thought Victoria had gotten you both. The pack has been tearing the forest apart for the last hour. Sam is--"

"Sam," declared the Sad Girl, letting go of the Angry Girl to jab her finger into the Lovesick Boy's chest, "is a jerk."

The Lovesick Boy blinked. The Angry Girl snorted.

"He is," the Sad Girl went on. "He's a jerk. I've decided not to like him. And I've decided not to like Edward anymore either. Men suck." Then she sat down on the sand in a huff.

The Lovesick Boy stared open-mouthed for a full five seconds before turning to the Angry Girl and demanding, "How much did you let her drink?"

The Angry Girl pointed at the empty bottle of Jim Bean lying next to the fire.

"Leah!" the Lovesick Boy exploded. "What the fuck!"

"It's not like I poured it down her throat," the Angry Girl retorted. "Is it my fault she can't hold her liquor?"

"That bloodsucker could have found you, and you both would have been too drunk to run!"

"Oh, please. Thanks to this fucking werewolf metabolism I can't get a buzz even when I try."

"You're completely exposed! Victoria could have seen you from a mile away!"

"What, you think I'm too stupid to keep my nose open for leeches?"

"Hey!" yelled the Sad Girl. The Angry Girl and the Lovesick Boy both looked down in surprise. "The eggs are gone, the drinks are gone, you guys are yelling, and I'm sleepy. I want to go home now."

"Eggs?" said the Lovesick Boy.

"You better crash at Jacob's," the Angry Girl told the Sad Girl. "Remember, you're supposed to be at a 'sleepover' with me."

"Sleepover?" said the Lovesick Boy.

"Ooh, that's right." The Sad Girl nodded vigorously. "We should go have our sleepover! I won't paint your nails, but we can rent movies and eat pizza and popcorn and stuff."

"Not a chance in hell," snapped the Angry Girl. "You're Jacob's problem now. I've listened to your babbling for long enough."

"Babbling?" said the Lovesick Boy.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be a problem!" The Sad Girl looked stricken, but then she frowned. "No," she said. "Wait. I'm not sorry. Because I'm not pathetic. So there."

"Good," said the Angry Girl. "You're learning."

"Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on?" said the Lovesick Boy.

The Angry Girl hauled the Sad Girl to her feet. "We bonded." The Angry Girl sounded like she might choke on the word. "Now get her out of here before I kill her."

The Sad Girl smiled brightly. "Leah, I love you. You're a good friend."

The Angry Girl blinked for a few moments, then turned away. "Yeah, well, I still hate your guts," she muttered, sitting down next to the fire.

"Oh, and Jake? I love you too," said the Sad Girl, grabbing the Lovesick Boy's hair and pulling him down so that she could kiss him on the mouth. "And when we have sex one day, you have to be blindfolded."

The Lovesick Boy coughed violently and looked at the Angry Girl in shock.

"You're welcome," said the Angry Girl.

"I... okay... I just... uh... hey, Bells?" The Lovesick Boy's voice became alarmed as the Sad Girl slumped forward against his chest. "Bella? Are you all right?"

The Sad Girl responded with a snore.

"Bella!"

"Don't worry about her," said the Angry Girl. "She'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" asked the Lovesick Boy. He lifted the Sad Girl into his arms and cradled her against his chest, peering at her face.

"I can't promise she won't puke on you, but she'll be okay if she takes some aspirin before you put her to bed. Speaking of which," the Angry Girl gave the Lovesick Boy a severe look, "don't take advantage."

"I won't," said the Lovesick Boy. "Of course I won't."

The Angry Girl regarded him for a long moment, then said finally, "Yeah, I suppose you wouldn't." She reached into the duffel bag and tossed the Lovesick Boy a set of keys. "It would be a bitch and a half to carry her home like that. I'll come by and pick the Jeep up tomorrow."

The Lovesick Boy frowned. "Aren't you coming?"

"No," said the Angry Girl, her voice quiet. "I'm-- I think I'm going to hang out by myself for awhile longer. I want..."

The Lovesick Boy waited, but the Angry Girl didn't finish her sentence. Eventually, he asked, "Will you be all right?"

"Of course I will." The Angry Girl's voice was thick as she pulled out a cigarette. "Now beat it."

The Angry Girl never looked up from the fire as the Lovesick Boy left with the Sad Girl.

So it was that the Sad Girl and the Angry Girl learned that not only is it is possible to feel more than one thing, but that feeling more than thing can be good. And thus the Sad Girl became the Girl Who Is Sad But Also Angry, while the Angry Girl became the Girl Who Is Angry But Also Sad. (The Lovesick Boy became the Boy Who Is Lovesick And Also Very Confused.)

Most importantly, though, they became the Girls Who Are Doing Better And Are Not Quite So Alone As They Thought.

The End.