~The worst and funniest story I have ever written~
Characters: See bottom
Disclaimer: I don't own -Man, or Garfield. They are owned by the brilliant Jon Arbuckle and Katsura Hoshino. If I did own them, Odie would be the star of Garfield and D. Gray-Man would be full of Yullen scenes!
Warning: This story may cause laughing until your head explodes, or not being able to read Garfield comics normally ever again.

Mizuhara: WTF IS THIS SHIT?!

Gaarin: *glitterglitter* I ate chocolate fuuuuudge with nuts…

Mizuhara: I'll call the asylum… again.

Allen kicked his feet up on the desk. Hopefully, nobody would notice him slacking off. He was supposed to be making dinner... But he had had such an incredibly rough day at work... Maybe Kanda, his fat orange cat, wouldn't be hungry?
In a skittering, clattering cloud of claws, Kanda proved to Allen that he was indeed starving, as usual. Kanda meowed. "Get me some soba, you infernal beansprout of an owner!!"
Allen sighed. "Soba? Again? That's all you ever think about! Can't I have some time to relax?"
Kanda meowed again. "Yeah, sure you can relax."
Allen looked surprisedly at his cat, and then kicked his feet up on the desk. "Okay, just give me five min-"
"WHEN I DIE!!" The overweight cat jumped at Allen, knocking his desk over in a comedic fashion that involved the flimsy wood splintering to pieces the instant it touched the carpet. Allen stood up slowly, uninjured, but cautious. "Ok, ok! Stupid cat! I'll make it now! Gosh!"
He went over to the kitchen. Immediately, his dog Krory came over. "Oh, hello, Krory! Are you hungry too?"
Krory yapped. That was all Krory ever really did. He napped, got kicked by Kanda, ate his favourite kind of dog food ('Eliade' brand), and yapped. 24/7. Sometimes, Allen regretted adopting the dog from his best friend Chaoji. He didn't get along very well with Kanda, because he was weak and Kanda was a bit of a bully in the same way that broccoli was a bit of a vegetable. Also, Krory was pretty stupid. And by pretty, I mean really, really, really. Kanda often went out of his way to kick Krory off of table edges or things like that.
Allen smiled at his oblivious dog. "I bet you just want attention, don't you, Krory?" He began petting the dog.
Kanda aimed a kick at Krory. He meowed, "I'll give you attention, you little baka!"
Allen moved Krory out of the way, laughing. "Jealous, are we, Kanda?"
The cat meowed, "No way in hell!" and walked off staunchily. Allen laughed. His pets sure had hilarious antics, at least.

Kanda walked over to his square-shaped bed. He draped his blanket over himself, and cuddled his beloved teddy bear Mugen. He sighed, and was about to close his eyes when a tiny tail flitted in front of his eyes.
Kanda che-ed. "Hello, Lavi."
The annoying, tiny, gray kitten replied, "How's it going?"
Kanda covered his eyes with the blanket. "Go away. I'm trying to sleep."
Lavi the kitten continued chattering about the injustice of panel time withdrawal, or something like that. Kanda found that he could maintain comedic dialogue and rest by saying something like "Uh-huh" or "You don't say." every twenty seconds or so. Eventually Lavi realized that Kanda wasn't listening, and skittered away to go play a prank on Krory.
Kanda sighed. Peace... and quiet... It was so quiet that Kanda could hear Allen picking up the phone in the other room. "Hello, Lenalee? H-hi... Yeah, it's me, Allen... I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me- Huh? O-oh... Well, if you're busy... Huh? Britain? Why are you going to Britain? To visit your crazy brother who's just gotten out of a mental hospital? Oh... That's terrible! I- I hope he's all right..."
Kanda snorted. Allen was so gullible. The attractive Lenalee would never go for an anti-social dorky baka like Allen. She was obviously refusing him...
"Oh, but what about tomorrow? Does... Does that work? O-ok! You're sure? All right! Okay, see you then! Bye, Lenalee!"
Kanda's eyes widened. Had Allen actually just gotten a date with Lenalee?! Kanda got up out of bed, irritated. He had to put a stop to this. If Allen married Lenalee and moved away, there'd be nobody to make him soba!
Kanda reached five steps when a tiny spider crawled up to him. "Hey you! I'm not scared of you! I've got strength, unlike my brothers and sisters!
Kanda looked at the tiny little beast. "Move before I squash you into a brave spider pancake."
The pest groaned. "I'm not a spider! How many times do I have to tell you?! I am an Akuma! I'm a dead soul-"
"Akuma, yadda yadda. Whatever, bug. I'll make you into an annoying Akuma pancake then. Just move!"
The bug crawled away as fast as its cartoon-like legs could carry it, not wishing for its spirit and bravery to be exorcised by the Supreme Grand Pessimist, Kanda.
Kanda walked into the family room, and tackled Allen, mangling his suit.
"Oh, Kanda! That was the only good suit I had!! Now I'll have to..." Allen continued talking about the many expensive and tedious procedures he'd have to go through to get another suit that looked just as dorky while Kanda sidled inconspicuously away, satisfied.

//To be continued//

Mizuhara: WTF?!?
Gaarin: (rofling) I'M SORRY FOR THIS SMALL, INSIGNIFICANT PILE OF CRAP!! PLEASE IGNORE!! Or, review, favorite, or whatever.
Mizuhara: Who was who, exactly?
Gaarin: It's simple.
Jon- Allen
Garfield- Kanda
Odie- Krory
Nermal- Lavi
Liz- Lenalee
Lyman- Chaoji
Pookie- Mugen
Spiders- Akuma xD
Mizuhara: Wait, who's Lyman?
Gaarin: Jon's best friend. He gave Odie to Jon. He has a moustache... and never really talks.
Mizuhara: ... Chaoji? Allen?
Gaarin: *hmph* Well, not all the details fit exactly, but whatever! I was bored, okay?? I might upload more chapters depicting the comedic adventures of Cat-da if anyone wants me to...
Mizuhara: ... No one wants you to.
Gaarin: Shut up, girl who can only write angsty shit.
Mizuhara: Ah, touché.
Gaarin: Thanks for reading! VOTE FOR ME!!!