Author's Note: I get the sneaking feeling I can't possibly be the first to have tried this; my apologies if that's the case. Apologies are also due to X to the Zoltan, who of course set the bar for epic stories involving AzuDai and space. I wouldn't call this a crossover, since while I'm using the Star Trek races and such (I mean hey, why reinvent the wheel), all characters are either from AzuDai or OC. You shouldn't need to know much about Star Trek beyond the broadest clichés to enjoy this. I mean, I had forgotten everything I knew about Trek before I discovered the old episodes on YouTube a few weeks back...Incanto out

On an ordinary, pleasant spring day in the city of Tokyo, Earth, a girl with two chestnut-colored pigtails, wearing the primary school uniform common to that era and geographic region, stood at a railroad crossing. A chime sounded and the metal hazard bars, striped like a Terran wasp, lowered on either side of the tracks. Strangely, far from seeming annoyed at the inconvenience, the girl stood smiling as a gentle breeze played around her.

Just then a second, taller girl, her dark hair curling at the edges, came and stood on her right.

"Oh," chirped the pigtailed girl, apparently for her own benefit, "it's Miss Tomo Takino, my classmate at the ordinary high school I attend! How are you, Miss Takino?"

"What's up, Chiyo-chan?"

"I'm waiting here for the electric-powered train to pass! Such hazards are common to Japanese schoolgirls of our era, because we actually walk between our school and place of residence."

"I hear that." Lacing her hands behind her head, the girl named Tomo adopted a world-weary expression. "Don't get why we can't Transport and be there in, like, three milliseconds."

Chiyo coughed.

"Because transporter Technology hasn't been invented, Miss Takino. That would be like something out of a 'science-fiction' anime."

And she gave a rather hollow laugh.

"Oh right," said Tomo, and coughed.

"Besides," Chiyo went on, raising her voice as the train rattled past, "if not for this walk, we'd miss out on this fascinating Terran flora and fauna. Like mosquitoes and…ragweed."

"This—I mean, our era is pretty crazy, huh? We got blood-sucking bugs flying around and everyth—ow! Damnit, there's another one!"

Hoping to change the subject Chiyo put in: "I see you have your pencil board, Miss Takino, just like any ordinary high school girl."

Wiping mosquito debris on her skirt, Tomo brightened. "Oh, yeah!" She proudly held up the pencil board with strange, stylized illustrations of human figures. "And check this out!"

She removed a small rectangular device from one pocket. Hanging from one corner, suspended on a red string, was a representation of a Terran cat with an overlarge head. Chiyo's eyes widened.

"A cellular phone strap! That's how ordinary high school girls like us express our individuality."

"Pretty cool, huh? I guess this makes me more individual than you, Chiyo-chan. Ha!"

Then just as the hazard bars were rising, clearing the way, a voice hailed them from across the tracks.

"Yo-yo, me homies!"

Chiyo blinked.

Before them stood a tall, elegant girl with flowing hair; and beside her a girl, who had spoken, wearing large sunglasses, the garment known as a "track suit" in flaming red, and a gold pendant the size of a fist stamped with two Japanese characters: Oo-saka.

Tomo hailed them looking unsurprised:

"Hey, Osaka, what's up?"

"Check it, I is here wit' my main girl Miss Sakaki, who is well tall and stacked like a Terran milk cow!"

Miss Sakaki, so named, blushed.

"Miss Kasuga..." Chiyo began with difficulty. "Why are you...dressed like that?"

All at once Miss Kasuga's expression changed, and she spoke in an ordinary, if oddly stilted voice:

"My apologies, Miss Mihama. I was merely studying the work of twentieth-century anthropologist Ali G. It seemed appropriate to the time period."

"But Miss Kasuga," said Chiyo gently, "this is the Daily Lives of High School Girls program. We agreed to model ourselves on characters from documentaries like School Rumble, Ouran Host Club and Lucky Star."

Although it was difficult to tell behind her shades, Miss Kasuga looked downcast.

"I regret that I have spoiled the program, Miss Mihama. It seems I have yet to master the nuances of human culture."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll…"

But just as Chiyo reached out to reassure her, a voice rang seemingly out of nowhere.

"Ca-aptain. Bridge to Captain, report."

Tomo stood idly, twirling her thumbs.

The voice came again more insistently: "Captain Tak-in-o. I'm talking to you, Tomo, there is no other Captain on this ship."

With a sigh, Tomo tapped her left breast.

"Takino here. I thought you meant that Ensign named John Captain."

"There is no such Ensign!"

"Jeez, Number One, no need to get bent out of shape. What is it this time?"

The disembodied voice regained its composure.

"Heh-hem. Sorry to interrupt play time, but the Romulan ambassador is hailing us. Should I tell him you're indisposed—or would you prefer to avoid an interstellar incident?"

Tomo gave another, more profound sigh.

"Patch it through to my Ready Room, I'll be there."

"See that you are. Bridge out."

For a moment, there was no sound on that pleasant spring day but the faint whirr of insects. Then Tomo spoke reluctantly: "Computer, end program and save." And as the scenery folded into a stark, cramped room with a grid-like pattern across the walls, she addressed the three girls—who, a certain trick of perspective lost, now more resembled grown women—who remained with her: "Too bad huh, you guys; I guess we'll pick this up later? And Lt.-Commander Kasuga…"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Report to the bridge in that outfit."

"Aye, Cap'n. Respec'!"

And as Lt.-Commander Kasuga passed by her with a guileless smile, Captain Tomo Takino muttered to herself:

"If that doesn't push ol' Number One over the edge, nothing will…"

AzuTrek: The Next Generation

by Incanto

Captain's Log, Tomo Takino, Stardate XXX-OOO

So yeah, like, who even reads these Captain's logs. But I'm gonna assume it's someone who doesn't know Jack about the future, maybe like a time traveler. So a little history lesson is in order. Not that I know Jack about history, so I asked my First Officer to fill me in.

So I guess earth used to have "countries" that were always at war with each other? By the year 2100, we decided that was stupid so we all joined something called the Federation, because that sounded nice and democratic; not like, you know, the Empire. Trouble was, white guys with good hair still ran everything. So they tried having a bald guy as Federation President; then a black guy; then finally a white chick. The Ministry of Political Correctness was still whining. So we agreed that the new World-Cultural Paradigm would belong to whichever country developed space travel and made contact with an alien civilization. That was dumb, because Japan did that two weeks later. Nobody else was, like, even close. So we're in space now, and everything is Japanese.

Some of the old guys said it was like a "twenty-first century nerd's wet dream," but nobody else knew what they were talking about.

Anyway...that was two hundred years ago; so really who cares. These are the voyages of the J.F.S (that's Japanese Federation Starship) Sakamoto Ryouma.* Its mission: to seek out new life and blah blah blah, okay you know what, screw this. I'll have my First Officer make these logs from now on.

She says she'll do it, but she refuses to hum our ship's theme song at the end of each entry. So I'll do that part myself. Here goes:

Doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo…

Dee-dee-dee-dee dee-dee-dee, dee-dee-dee…da-dum!

* Footnote: The Ministry of Political Correctness forbids the following as starship names: Anything from Greek mythology, former U.S. Presidents, and anyone like Einstein or Gandhi that most people living in America circa 1990 would know about.