Title: Oh, Honey, Honey
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, Finn/Rachel.
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Warnings: NADA, not really.
Disclaimer: not mine, we all know this.
Summary: Perfect, that's what everybody wants. Isn't it? Unfortunately, sometimes it's not what fits.
A/N: Prompt from une_fille: U is for: Unfaithful, Puck/Rachel (Glee).
The kiss is sweet and perfect and everything she's wanted. Finn holds her gently, his hands curls around her waist. She smiles into the kiss and tries to deepen it. Finn pulls away, softly but quickly, with a tiny smile on his face and she doesn't understand why.
But she smiles back and together they leave the choir room holding hands.
So why does she wish that he had taken her lead and pressed her more firmly against the door they had been standing by. (She knows another boy that would have.)
---
Everything about Finn is sweet. His kisses, his smiles, his outlook on life. His brown eyes are soft and they always look at her with a gentleness that she covets. The only time she sees his eyes darken is when Puck and Quinn pass them by in the halls. She tries not to think about what this means.
(Everything about Noah was… tangy. There's really no other way to describe it; the sharpness in his actions and the sting her lips felt after his kisses. The way his eyes changed colours, like a storm, and whenever they lock eyes now—brief moments that feel too long—she feels like she's drowning in a swirl of green and hazel.)
The only time Finn kisses her like his life depends on it is after a Glee practise. The baby started kicking and Puck was the first one to feel it beside Quinn. Finn's hands dug over into the material of jeans and he avoided looking at them.
After practise he cups her jaw and his kisses have a desperation that makes her feel sick when reaching out to touch him.
It's a sad realisation: he's kissing her to forget.
---
She waits outside the gym after a basketball game. The team lost, but she and Finn are heading out for a post-game movie, so she categorises the night as a success.
"What's the couple extraordinaire doing tonight? Planning to sing about your feelings some more?"
They haven't really talked in weeks, but his voice reverberates through her, warm, smooth and only a little bitter. She spins and answers him, a smile on her face.
"Hello, Noah. Good game, I'm sorry you lost, but you played very well tonight." He rolls his eyes, and she keeps going, "And to answer your question, Finn and I will be trying to catch the nine o'clock showing of "Nine". I've heard good things and I'm curious to see the performances. While I'm not supremely confident in Kate Hudson's casting, but maybe like Rene Zellweger her performance will pleasantly surprise me. Though I still consider Catherine Zeta Jones having the superior role and talent."
He has a smirk in place and she remembers it from when he used to pretend to not pay attention during her explanations of the finer workings of Broadway.
"TMI, Berry, TMI."
She smiles, "And yourself? What are you plans for the evening?"
"Rocky road and some flick about this chick named Tiffany. Q's a menace."
She laughs, which in turn makes him smile and the entire moment is more comfortable, and at the same time more unsettling, than all these weeks with Finn. She starts to tell him that he should rent "Sabrina", or "My Fair Lady", if Quinn's an Audrey fan. That is, of course, when Finn comes out. He looks at them and before she can exchange an awkward goodbye with Noah, he's pulling her away.
"Come on, Rach, we'll miss the movie." He doesn't look over at his former best friend.
Over her shoulder, she waves at Noah. He nods back.
The rest of the evening is unsalvageable, and she hates that it all feels like her fault. She knows it's not.
---
It's a complete accident—it really is—because there's no way that she would have ever wanted to witness that argument between Finn and Quinn. It wasn't what they were saying that hurt her; there were no declarations of love or anything of the sort, but it was the look in their eyes. Rachel's always felt she's excelled at reading body language and everything she's picking up now between them makes her want to cry.
Finn's never looked at her with so much passion and his body has never been so tightly coiled around her. He looks like he's between kissing Quinn or storming out.
She doesn't know which one she would prefer. Either action would be too telling, and she's not sure she wants to know what either would mean.
Finn doesn't leave, but he doesn't kiss Quinn either. He slumps down onto the rafters, covering his face with his hands. Quinn says something and sits down next to him.
They don't touch, but even from the other side of the door, she can tell they both want to.
(How she knows that is simple. Standing next to Noah in Glee sometimes is the hardest thing to do, especially when she remembers being able to slide her fingers across his skin.)
---
You can't really call it a break up when both parties feel more of a connection with each other when it happens.
Finn kisses her cheek, it's sweet. Like all his kisses were. And then he takes her out for ice cream. It's odd that she has a better time being broken up with Finn that she did when they were trying so hard to be together, but neither of them seem to mind.
---
"Couldn't even make it three months, huh, Berry? Hudson couldn't handle the crazy anymore?"
"You can't make a relationship last when both parties want something different."
---
Funny how that the same motivations she broke up with Noah, are the same motivations she breaks up with Finn. Funnier still is that each boy played a very important role both times.
---
When Finn sits next to Quinn in Glee one day, it's not a surprise; she knew this was coming. Still, she didn't expect it to hurt so much, having her suspicions confirmed. Noah sits on Quinn's other side and all it feels like is:
Quinn won. (It really isn't like that at all but for that first instance when Finn sat down and Quinn smiled at him, Rachel's chest feels too tight and then she realises she's sitting alone. She's forgotten how much that hurts.)
She's not bitter. After all, she still has Broadway, her dreams, and they've been enough so far.
---
The next practice she settles in her seat, her posture perfect while looking over her sheet music, when she feels a body bump into hers. Noah drops on to the seat next to her with a wide yawn, draping his arm over the back of her chair. Quinn is berating him for something and then settles on Rachel's other side. Finn grins at her as he sits next to Quinn. (If anybody would look at them without knowing their history they would think they were just a group of kids, friends maybe. Two boys, two girls. Maybe even two couples. Perception is a funny thing like that.)
---
Quinn gives birth and the whole club waits at the hospital as it happens. It takes ten hours and Noah is the first to hold the baby. He holds her like she's the most precious thing in the world. (She just may be.) Finn's smile as he holds the baby is gentle and loving. It extends to when he looks a Quinn.
Crying is not the only thing she can do on command, she can smile too.
---
She finds him resting his forehead against the glass, eyes closed. Making her way over to him, she glances at where his daughter is sleeping in her bassinet. The adoptive parents have just arrived and she can see as time slips away from him.
All the other glee members left a little while ago. She should have gone too, but something made her stay. She wonders if she knew this moment was coming.
"Hi," she says as she stands next to him.
He doesn't answer her back. It's okay, she didn't expect him too.
Carefully, she slips her hand into his. There's no reaction for a minute and then he's tightening his fingers before she laces them together. He doesn't pull away.
---
Regionals is the best and worst time of her life. They're amazing but they lose.
On the bus ride home she's sitting by herself when she feels him come up behind her. "We'll kill them next year, Rach."
He ruffles her hair and she shrieks at him.
The rest of the bus finally relaxes. She's been scaring them with how quiet she was being.
---
"So why did you and Finn really break up," he asks much later. It's August, it's too hot outside to do anything, and even indoors she feels the sweat that lingers between her skin. He mentioned the going out to the pool, but they're too comfortable where they are.
"We wanted different things. Ironically, it was things we let go off." She moves her body on the couch, draping herself more comfortably against him.
"Really?" he smirks, hand smoothing up her back, under her shirt, fingers playing with her bathing suit ties. She thinks it's progress that he immediately doesn't go to untie it.
"Of course, and I couldn't remain faithful to him especially regarding my feelings on the situation."
He parts his legs, letting her fall more fully against him, "And what exactly were those feelings?"
She smiles and kisses him in response. His kisses still feel make her feel like she's drowning, and it's the steadiest thing she knows.