THIS IS A FIC THAT TELLS ABOUT MY DEPRESSION DURING MY SENIOR YEARIN HIGH SCHOOL, IT TELLS OF THE HEARTACHE ONE GOES THROUGH AND THE DIFFICULT JOURNY IT TOLLS ON ONE'S MIND, IT COMFORTS AND SENDS INTO HATE ONCE AGAIN. THE WAY MY CHARACTER TREATS THE SONIC TEAM IS THE WAY I TREATED OTHERS WHEN GOING THOUGH THIS DIFFICULT ROAD, I LOST FRIENDS ALONG GAINED FRIENDS AS YOU WILL SEE AS THE STORY PROGRESSES. THIS STORY ISNT JUST ABOUT READER ENTERTAINMENT, IT'S TO SHOW GUDIANCE, SHOWING THAT LOVE HURTS ALONG WITH DEPRESSEION AND THE EFFECTS IT DOES TO THE HUMAN MIND. THIER ARE NO POWERS IN THIS FIC, JUST REGULAR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS, NO CHAOS EMERALDS, NO EGGMAN ATTACKS, NO END OF THE WORLD, JUST HIGH SCHOOL

I ONLY OWN JOSE AND THE PLOT OF THIS STORY

SEGA OWNS SONIC AND COMPANY

THANKS TO SONICTHESHAPESHIFTER FOR TELLING ME TO WRITE ON "HOW I'M FEELING SINCE I'M STILL DEPRESSED"

SPECIAL THANKS TO SHELBY THE HEDGEHOG, SHE IS MY INSPIRATION TO CONTINUE ON FANFICTION, IF IT WASNT FOR HER I WOULD OF DROPPED EVERYTHNG LIKE LAST TIME

IF ANYTHING PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME, I'LL TRY MY BEST TO RESPOND SINCE I'M GRONDED

AURAMASTER724 ^..^

You wouldn't understand, You wouldn't understand my pain that I go through everyday. My life isn't as happy as others, I go to school and act if I'm the "never sad kid" cheering others up, the kid you can always go to when your depressed but when I get depressed..who do I go to...

"Jose it's getting late, get your ass ready for school or your going to miss the school bus "

sigh, parents they wouldn't understand what I'm going through right now...Parents they think they know everything but the truth is they don't

"I'm up, god damn"

I stood up from my bed and itched my quills, my mirror reflected a gold hedgehog with spiky head quills, while the back arked up in the top while the bottoms arched down. At the end of each end was a medium blue colored diamond; his dark blue emerald eye's gazed back into mine

failure...your a god damn failure

I looked down and saw my steel toe boots, I picked it up and chocked it at the mirror causing it to crack on impact.

*sigh*

I stood up and walked over to my closet, I pulled out a black shirt along with black jean shorts, I slowly slipped into my cloths, thinking aimlessly

what is my purpose in the world...I've grown so...hollow inside...my past relationship...I realized...that she never loved me, her Friends told me other wise with facts. Why did she hold the relationship this long if she didn't even love me...did she do it for satisfaction?....was it for her own personal game?...was it so she can make someone else feel the pain that she has gone through?...

"Jose if you dont get your ass down here by this very second I'm going to come up thier and whip your ass"

*sigh*

damn parents...they can all rot in hell for all I care

I slipped on my one boot and walked over to the cracked mirror to slip on the other, I looked at the image the mirror reflected now...it was twisted, demonic....monster looking...

monster...

I walked over to the end of my room and picked up my book bag heading downstairs, step after step I felt like horrible, I didn't want to go to school, I have'nt gone for nine days, just laying on my bed and for all I care I would miss this day just so I can get kicked out...

"Jose...sorry for yelling I just don't want you to get kicked out for missing to many days"

I didn't bother looking at my mom...she wouldn't understand my pain

"yeah whatever I don't care"

"young man you should care we're talking about your education"

"well my education can blow me a balloon for all I care, fuck everyone"

I walked out of the house slamming the door, I didn't care about school anymore, I hated everything, everyone, they wouldn't understand my pain, I'm tired of being used for people's own personal amusment, I just want to be...left alone. I felt my heartache with pain, it's been almost three months since I've been like this, I started to inflicted physical pain on myself just to relief the sadness and hatred burrowed inside me.

fucking...

I lost thought when a yellow school bus rode up to the stop sign

"well well well if it isn't the trouble maker, finally decided to come back to school"

I looked up and saw a big fat grizzly bear wearing a blue jeans with a white tee-shirt, his smile was filled with cockiness as he tilted his hat forward, he was pretty tall but mostly fat

"fuck off"

I walked up the steps of the school bus and looked at all of the faces, each one was different from people talking to others listening to music, from day dreamers to bus sleepers their was a couple even making out. My eye twitched, looking at them made me sick

look at them, kissing thinking oh, our relationship is gold, we're never going to break up, we're so happy with each other, she/he is never going to leave me...just....just...die already

I clenched my fist as I started to walk down the isle of seats

"JOSE!!!!!"

I turned my attention to the seat all the way in the back, their was a pink hedgehog in a red vest and white tee-shirt, she was waving her hand which tend to make an annoying cling sound since she wore five bracelets on one hand. Her spines were held back by her red head band which had a rose at the end of it; her red skirt matched her vest and red boots

*sigh*

Like I need to deal with Amy right now

I walked over and took a seat next to her placing my backpack in the isle

"Jose your back were you go?"

I looked at Amy as she teased my absents

"..."

She looked at me and gave me a faint smile

"oh Jose I was only joking you don't have to take things seriously, sheesh ever since your last break up with "you know who" you've been acting so...diff rent"

Her comment made me mad

oh I wander why, if you had your heart ripped in to you feel the same way. If Sonic promised he never leave you no matter what and you believe him, the next day the say look it's not working out how would you feel? how would you feel if Sonic said your relationship felt like a long distance and that he doesn't have the "strength" then Breaks up with you two weeks later...what do you know, he's in a long distance relationship...god damn you don't understand since you guys are "never going to break up" and that you guys would "die" if you broke up, your god damn fools, believing in something so pointless

"Jose..you alright?"

I looked at Amy who had a concern look on her face, she looked as if she was worried, but she didn't care, I'm just one of those "people" that she can talk to when theirs no one else to talk to her.

"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CARE, JUST SHUT UP LEAVE ME ALONE"

Amy flinched at my comment, everyone in the school bus stopped what they were doing and looked toward us

fucking nosey assholes

"WHAT, DO I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY FACE!"

everyone looked away and went back to what they were doing, I turned my attention back to Amy, she was looking out the window, confusion along with Sadness was written all over her face. She looked at me and had teary eyes

"Jose" She cried soflty, "how can you say that, you know I care for you, your my friend...the one I can always turn to when...I'm depressed"

point proven from earlier, I'm everyone's wall that they can lean on when they have "troubles" but who can I lean on...no one...I'm never trusting anyone ever again...not after what she did to me

"I'm sorry...."

Amy looked at me and wiped her face of potential tears

"Jose...what happen to you...your...not the Jose that I met in junior high...please talk to me"

I was about to tell her everything bu the bus stopped in front of the school, I looked out the window and saw students of all kind, I looked back at Amy and saw the couple in the bus at the corner of my eye, they were holding hands, whispering little notes of love through their ear's. Hate started to fill my body once again, all of the pain reaching it's tipping point. I looked back at Amy, I picked up my book bag and stood from the seat leaving her behind

Amy...you wouln't understand....