Can't Keep Going On:

Losing Yourself

A/N: YAY SUMMER VACATION! More time to type and read The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. This is an amazing book! Now to answer reviews.

Proudtobeatheaterkid: I'm sorry for the confusion, the part in the beginning was a memory only a few days before Harry disappeared. You will see several more of those in the beginnings of the next chapters. I hope I cleared this up. Also, I was very busy (I was rushing to the hospital to see my friend) and realized I had forgotten to even mention that Harry had arrived at the Weasley's so I quickly typed that and posted before I left so please look forward to me fixing their lack of emotion. And yes, I know that Draco wouldn't tell Hermione that quickly but he was giving her the pain and guilt of either keeping the secret to herself or ruining George and Diana's marriage (sadly she chose the second option). But if you read this chapter…I won't ruin it

DriftWood1965: Hermione shouted it in the middle of the wedding because I decided to add another conflict. First, if she waited until after George would already be married to Diana and there would be no point. Second, if she did it before hand they would end the wedding and Diana would be thrown out with Henry and the baby. So I chose the third option. I took all of Hermione's anger and hatred towards Diana and made her embarrass the poor thing at her wedding in front of her family and friends. And you'll realize in this chapter…I won't ruin it for you either

Quinzy: Yes, it is great to be back. I MISSED ALL OF YOU!

She opens her chocolate eyes as the morning sun swims across her eyelids. She is met with the beautiful green color of the leaves on the oak above her, nature is beautiful in the earliest morning. The faint sound of a beating heart drums in her eardrums, Harry is sleeping underneath her. Hermione thinks of the fear she feels deep in her chest, a fear so large it makes her feel nauseated. Voldemort was coming and he wouldn't stop killing wizards and witches until he found Harry. A tear slides down her pale cheek as she watches the sleeping teen beneath her. He looks so peaceful while he is asleep. Hermione can only wonder if Harry is prepared and strong enough for the upcomming battle? How can she go on if he didn't exist in her life? She couldn't that is the answer, she couldn't.

Hermione opened her eyes as the thick green curtains let in the morning's first light. She sat up in her bed and let in a sigh of relief.

"It was all a horrible, horrible dream." She whispered to herself though her heart broke a bit. That meant she had dreamed of Harry also.

"Some of it, not all of it." A deep voice chuckled from the bed

A beautiful smile spread across Hermione's lips at the sound of Harry's voice. She hadn't dreamt him! He was still there with her!

"Harry? How-How-" she stuttered

"Did I get here?" he chuckled pulling her to his chest "I flew, my Firebolt is in the corner over there, I hope you don't mind."

"So the secret Malfoy told me. Me ruining the wedding." She rambled

Harry sighed sadly "The secret I wish was a dream, you ruining the wedding…never happened."

Hermione felt the guilt that had risen from her body return…along with the hatred and anger towards Diana. Hermione still didn't understand how Diana could cheat on George and allow him to think that he was the father of their two year-old son!

"How could Diana allow George to think Henry was his?" Hermione growled

Harry stroked her caramel colored hair and kissed her forehead "Don't you wonder how you got into bed if you had an awful dream?" he asked trying to change the subject

"Yes, but don't change the subject, Harry!" she exclaimed "Think of poor Henry, you can see his biological father's looks! The eyes, his nose!" she continued

"Hermione, don't-don't ruin their marriage okay? George loves Diana-"

"Then she shouldn't have cheated on him, Harry!" she hissed exasperated "How did you stay without them seeing you anyway?" she asked

Harry smiled, glad for the subject change "Well, I came in through the window. I had my invisibility cloak so when you came in I hid. You heard me and screamed, I had to shut you up somehow so I cast Silencio on you. You got angry until I explained everything."

Hermione shook her head at him "I had been excited," she sighed "I thought you had gotten me out of this horrid place."

"I wish I could," Harry replied grimly "but Death Eaters. Who the hell does Edward think he is? I'll kill him too."

"Harry don't be so cold," she replied softly "he thinks he loves me. He's very powerful and-"

"And he should have stayed at Hogwarts where he belongs!" he interruped harshly

"Harry… I'll get out of here."

"If I hadn't left, if I had stayed!"

"Then we would be married and have children, I can't not blame you, Harry. As much as I wish I could and you wish I could, I can't. This is all your fault."

"Just blame me like that Hermione! Don't you think I'm envious? He's had you for weeks and I've had you for twenty bloody minutes!" he yelled

"It is your fault!" she said softly "But we can get through it…past it together and leave it behind us. Go home, have a few children."

"Maybe I should have just stayed where I was, never became Jacob Steele."

"So you'd rather not see me again."

"No!" he exclaimed "No! I love you! It's just-just maybe things would be easier if I had stayed away."

"Easier? Easier? Would it have been easier for me to look in the mirror every morning and wonder if you were with another woman? Having children with her instead of me? Or me thinking I'm not good enough for you? No, Harry it wouldn't be easier."

"Hermione I had no idea-" he started

"YES! YES YOU DID! I SENT YOU A BLOODY LETTER, HARRY! A BLOODY LETTER TELLING YOU HOW I FEEL AND YOU REPLIED WITH A I CAN'T! YOU HAD EVERY IDEA!" she screamed at him before running out the door and slamming it behind her. She knew where she was going, she was going to cause him the hurt he had caused her. She would cause him and Diana all the pain they deserved. She pushed back the huge oak doors and walked up to Edward.

"I'll do it. I'll become your queen."

"I knew you would aggree in time." Edward smiled

Hermione Jean Granger was losing herself piece by piece.