You Know You're In Band If.../A Survival Guide to Marching Band
It's funny to see freshmen sweat for what you think is a piece of cake.
Even you, an off key singer, joins in for the song's "Hey Baby!" chorus at pep band, waving your instrument in the air (gently and not recklessly).
Your instrument is your baby.
The glock shall always win. Unless they're is a pretty strong (drum)stick hitting it lol.
If your show is truly challenging, the directors make everyone, including guard, drumline, pit, and winds to condition by running around the school before block.
Parents sometimes freak out when they hear their children talk about being killed with "kill the band" stretch.
If you can't count how many jumping jacks you can do, why are you in band? lolz EPIC FAIL!
Once again, I lost the game! (Yes I made you lose again I know I'm evil! ^-^)
The directors say everyone in band can sing and be in choir, but there is an obvious reason why we're in band!
You know the directors say they love the brass over the woodwinds at brass ensemble, and vice versa at the woodwind ensemble.
You know the highest Heat Index (H.I.) temperature that outdoor activities are allowed to be out and about.
Scissor action! 'Nuff said.
Seniors are priceless.
No bouncing otherwise you fail.
When you walk the halls right before sectionals, it isn't surprising to see all of the low saxes on top of chairs, fishing to and playing the school song.
If you wonder about when teachers see them from line above, they just close the door and walk away.
Don't cuss. At least in front of most of the directors/volunteers.
They're is a record time to see who can burn from the sun the fastest (I hold it here with 3 minutes!)
You get the most amazing tans.
When a volunteer/director tells you to follow the leader in drill, you get the song "we're following the leader, the leader, we're following the leader, wherever we may go" song from Peter Pan.
On movie night, the disney movies always win the vote!
Again, you all lost the GAME! (I'm so bad ass! And a jerk I know ^-^)
-How many times have I said that? I think I'm having a blond moment-
The directors' ultamite word: Again
The new directors' phrase: Let's go, Let's go...Let's GO!
Eat the fart, for all you trumpet players.
It's pretty sad when the shortest person tries to jump over the tallest contrabass. Do I mention he is holding his contrabass?
Saxophones...assume the bazooka position!
3 minutes in real time=30 seconds in band time. For water breaks anyway.
10 minutes in real time-1 hour in band time. For long sets anyway.
You know that the guard will kill you if you have coffee.
Ditto if any of the brass find out you have a Moutain Dew or an energy drink.
It gets...fun and interesting in sextional (oops I mean sectional) rooms.
NEVER EVER try to hug a band director, especially the ginger on a bad day.
If you don't know what Drum Core International is, someone will slit your throat. Most likely me.
Cavaliers rock, Blue Devils suck. (I mean really 1.5 point difference this year? Cavies totally should have had the win!)
You walk oddly when you are at the grocery store and your parents point it out that you're semi marching.
Band joke (from director): "What did the green grape say to the purple grape? 'BREATHE!'"
A senior quote for the low saxes-"Size does matter"
The band inbreeds. (From what I know) Not literally, but there are a TON of in-band couples.
Astroturf=every band's dream of a proper field
Only the band stays true to 'dress your best' the day before a huge competiton, when it's Spirit Week, and the day is a sweats day.
They always put an encouraging "GOOD LUCK "" BAND" banner right behind all the main sports banners in the main hall.
Band moms hate it when you don't clean your shoes.
Or not have clean gloves or fall during a preformance, for that matter.
Saxophones usually will name their instruments. Other sections will too, such as drumline.
You hate preforming with the sun in your eyes, but you must know the shako trick to overcome it.
It's worse to preform in the wind, the cold, or the rain. Or better yet, a combination of all three.
"How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw a lightbulb?" None, 'cause they can't reach that high
"What are two things trombone kids can't do at a playground?" They can't slide, and they can't swing.
Tuba bells=GIANT LIGHTHOUSES
Summer should not be alive when it's late October.
However, you wish it was when it's a few weeks later, sections huddled up like penguins, creating a heat glob.
From mentioned heat glob above, it's the only time you're glad you're short and/or a freshman. You're in the middle!
Never give fire or anything that can be made as an explosion to any band member, at any time. It's a bad case scenario.
It's bad (yet funny) when the announcers mess up the drum majors and band directors' names.
It's even more hilarious when the audience yells the corrections and the announcer loses his job for the day. (True story)
When you learn about Spartacus in World History, you think of the Phantom Regiment's 2008 show. (That was TRUE Bad Ass case)
You hate it when someone drops a cymbal and is just marching around, PO-ed at themself. It's worse if it's a national band.
*A.N.*-I decided to add more chapters. I may randomly call it complete someday, but please comment/add/review. It's very appreciated and I thank for the support that I have gotten these past months. I'm sorry I haven't written as much as I wanted and updated since...several months ago. I've been busy with band/school/life in general, but I will try when I can. Send me reviews so I can add your band advice/funny jokes/mini-story of what to do/not to do in band! The contrabass one was an example of a review put up, so thanks for whoever said that!