Father of Yours

Summary: Spike is home for Christmas. He and Buffy argue again. Dawn notices the tension, but Will seems oblivious until he asks Spike "Are you mad at Mama?" Its right then that Spike realizes that fighting with Buffy is not only hurting him, but it's hurting their family. He decides to stay home until the end of January to be with the family, to put things back on track with Buffy.

Song Pairing – Whatever It Takes, Lifehouse

Chapter 3 - Santa Baby!

December 23, 2006

It was pretty early in the morning when William got home from his most recent mini tour. He'd been gone for 4 weeks and he was finally standing outside his home. It was the only place he wanted to be right now. It was the one place he'd longed to be for the last 4 weeks. Ever since he'd left after Thanksgiving things had been strained between him and Buffy. He was determined to make them better now. He just hoped that he could do that.

Opening the door quietly, he stepped inside and put his bags down to close the door behind him. He looked around. Everything was just how he left it except for the Christmas decorations. He'd never seen those up in his house before either. All the Christmas's he'd spent in LA by himself weren't really celebrated. He'd called his dad and said 'Merry Christmas,' but there were never decorations or a tree.

He slowly walked over to the tree and looked at it. It wasn't lit up at the moment, but it still looked beautiful and it made his heart ache to think he'd missed decorating it with his family. He'd never felt that way before, but then, he knew everything had changed when Buffy came into his life.

William didn't stand there long. After a few minutes he went back to his bags, picked them up, and carried them upstairs to his bedroom. He opened the door as quietly as possible and set his bags down by the closet. Glancing at Buffy it seemed like she was still sound asleep. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and climbed into bed with her. This time he snuggled close to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, successfully pulling her flush against his body. She moaned in her sleep and he smiled. He gently pressed a kiss to her shoulder blade and drifted off into dreamland to hopefully meet her.

A few hours later Buffy woke up to the sensation of a warm body pressed against hers. It was a welcome feeling. She'd missed it for so long and she knew what it meant. William was home!

She was so happy that she didn't care about waking him up. She turned in his arms and kissed him fiercely. It didn't take long to wake him up either. It took even less time to awaken his desires. Even before she felt his tongue stirring in her mouth she felt something else entirely stirring against her abdomen.

"I missed you," she murmured against his lips once they'd broken for air.

"I missed you too, pet," he told her in return. "So much," he admitted, kissing her again.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and held him to her firmly. As she continued to kiss him hungrily she felt his hands roaming over her body. She loved every second of it. Everywhere his hands went the fire spread. There were tingles running over every part of her skin. Then she gasped when she felt a hand touch her wet folds. He just smiled against her lips and moved to kiss down her neck.

"Do you want me?" he whispered huskily as he slid one finger inside and rubbed her clit with his palm at the same time.

"Mmmm…" she mumbled.

"What's that pet? I didn't catch that."

"Ahhh…" she moaned as he rubbed her clit harder. "Yyy… yes," she finally managed to get out.

He quickly maneuvered himself on top of her and slid inside her slick heat. "You're so bloody tight. I don't know how you always feel so tight."

"I'm all yours, baby." Her muscles contracted around him briefly as he began thrusting into her. His breath quickened as she started moaning from his movements. The feelings he elicited in her never ceased to surprise her. They were always a bit overwhelming but unbelievably good at the same time. Ever second he was inside of her she was reaching for heaven, tasting and touching a part of it when he brought her to her crest of pleasure. "Don't stop," she gasped, pressing her breasts against his chest, her nipples rubbing against his heated flesh.

"I'll never stop, never." He continued plunging inside her, bringing them both closer to the big finale. His whole body was on edge, feeling his climax coming closer and closer as her muscles kept rippling around his shaft. Soon he was pushing harder, knowing that they were both so close to coming undone. "I love you," he said once more, and then with a few more thrusts they both came together.

As they came down from their high William pulled out of her and pulled her against his chest. She listened to his heartbeat return to normal as she did so many times after they made love. "I love that sound," she whispered. He just hugged her to him, both ecstatic that they were together again. "It's been too long since I've heard that sound."

He rubbed her back as he replied, "I know. I really missed you too, more than you'll ever know." With that they both lay there in silence, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Four long weeks without each other and they were finally together again and feeling happy, complete. Being with one another was what made them feel whole. Nothing else did that for either of them, other than being with their family. Still, when William wasn't around Buffy didn't feel the same even if she was with Dawn and Will. She put on a brave face for her son, but Dawn saw through her. Dawn knew her too well for the brave face to work. Will was still so young that he didn't know that his mother was just trying to keep him from worrying. Could she and William work through all of his absences from their lives? Or would their relationship begin to deteriorate like her parents' did?

Buffy's mind was racing, but her heart was surprisingly calm. She was idly tracing shapes on William's chest, unsure of how long they'd been laying in bed now. It was the middle of the night though. The sun hadn't even risen which meant that Buffy should be going back to sleep. Briefly she glanced up and saw that William had fallen asleep again. She had to smile at the look on his face. There was pure happiness written into the soft lines of his features. She made him happy and he made her happy, most of the time. It was only when he left her that her fears took hold of her. She was terrified William would find someone or something better, that he would suddenly realize he didn't want her in his home anymore, that he wouldn't want their family anymore. That terror made her angry with him sometimes.

Before he came home they'd been arguing a lot on the phone. Buffy was always upset that he was missing things in her and the kids' lives and that she didn't get to spend enough time with him. It was part of the rock star gig. She knew that and she knew that's what she had signed up for. Maybe that was just the way things were going to be and she'd have to find a way to deal with it, but a part of her just kept pushing her to confront him. Right now waking him up to talk about this was the last thing she wanted to do. No, she'd let him sleep and talk to him when they had some time later. Closing her eyes she soon drifted to sleep too, dreaming of William.

When she woke up a little while later she looked at the clock. It was only 11:00. She turned over in bed and saw that William wasn't there with her any longer, but when she listened closer she heard the shower running. So that's where he was. A small smile graced her lips as she stretched. Finally she climbed out of bed and slipped into the bathroom as quietly as she could. Tip toeing to the shower she silently pulled the curtain aside and stepped in with William. Standing behind him she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind, pressing her breasts against his back.

He slowly turned around, wrapping his arms around her body and leaning down to kiss her softly. His hands roamed over her body as he deepened the kiss, holding her to him as his tongue infiltrated the cave of her mouth. Before long they were both moaning and pressing their bodies together even more firmly, trying to get more contact. He pressed her against the tile and picked her up. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and he inserted his engorged member inside her wet center.

"So wet…"

"Only for you."

They moaned and gasped in unison, quickly bringing each other to their climaxes. Moments later they were washing off their lover's body under the luke warm water. When the water ran cold they stepped out of the shower, wrapping up in big fluffy towels. Smiling at one another they went back into the bedroom, searching for clothes. While Buffy was pulling out a pair of jeans and a shirt from her dresser she glanced at William. She was wondering how long he'd be home this time. Was it just for Christmas? A week? Two weeks?

Part of her didn't want to know because she didn't want to argue or think about him leaving again. Right now she felt happy. They'd just made love again and the air wasn't tense. She didn't want to screw that up, but she felt that she needed to know how long they had this time. "William…" she started slowly. He turned to look at her, remaining silent as he waited for her to continue. He could tell that she wanted to say something and he was beginning to feel anxious. The last thing he wanted was to get in another fight with her. "How long are you home this time?"

He sighed, fearing the beginning of a fight. "I don't know."

She rolled her eyes childishly. "How do you not know?"

"We were talking about doing some shows in the southwest, but we haven't set the dates yet." He pulled on a pair of black jeans and then one of his classic white tee shirts. "It's Christmas Buffy. I don't want to fight."

"Neither do I, but I want you to stay home too."

"I know you do and I want to be here, but you know I have to work. Its how I support us and I want you and the kids to have everything you want."

"All I want is you," she said, pulling on a shirt over her bra and then buttoning up her jeans.

"Buffy…" He stepped closer to her, reaching for her hand. She pulled away from him though and it hurt him to see her do that. "Buffy… I love you."

"I know you do and I love you, but maybe that's not enough for you to stick around, huh?"

"How can you say that? How can you even think that?"

"Because you're always running off to play your concerts and when you do come home you're barely here. We have a few days and then you're gone again. I can't keep doing this," she said, exasperated.

"You can't mean that…" he began, his face falling at the implications of her words.

She heard the kids moving around and moved for the door, but his hand grabbed her arm. "Buffy, wait. Please," he was begging her.

"I need to go fix breakfast… or at least lunch." She tried to pull away but he held firm.

"Buffy," he said again, his voice a little more firm.

"Let go," she insisted again.

He let her go then and she walked out of their room, walking downstairs to start making some food. Dawn was with Will on the couch, watching Home Alone. Will loved that movie. He watched it every year, usually with Buffy. It was nice to see him enjoying himself though. Buffy was glad he hadn't heard her arguing with William upstairs. Sure she and William were having problems, but Will didn't need to know about it unless they were breaking up and Buffy didn't want that. She had practically said that though. Inside her heart was already breaking. She loved William so much, but she was afraid of him leaving. Maybe that was why she had jumped the gun and told him she couldn't do it anymore. If she ended it then he wouldn't be leaving her. That wouldn't stop the hurt though.

While Buffy was thinking about this downstairs William was upstairs in their room, sitting on their bed with his head in his hands. Was this the end of him and Buffy? He could feel his heart clenching. He couldn't let her go. Staying away from her so much of the time was killing him, but he did it because he wanted to give Buffy, Will, and Dawn a better life. He wanted them to have everything they wanted, but Buffy was right. All he wanted was her to be happy and she was happier when he was home with her.

Picking up his cell phone, he quickly dialed a phone number. A moment later Oz picked up on the other end. "Oz, let's put off those southwest concerts until February."

"Sure thing man," Oz replied.

"Yeah, I just need to stay home and spend some time with Buffy and the kids, get things back on the right track." William sighed.

"That's cool. Tell Buffy I said hi."

"Will do."

"Do you want to do some local shows while you're home? Or just take a few weeks off?"

"Maybe a few shows after New Year's, but for now let's just take a couple weeks. The fans will still be there, right?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "They're not going anywhere."

"Thanks Oz. Can you let the others know?"

"No problem."

"Thanks again. Maybe we can meet up for lunch after Christmas."

"Sounds good. I'll see when everyone's free."

"Good, good. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye."

The line was disconnected and William closed his cell phone, placing it on the nightstand. He didn't want any interruptions from the time with his family today. He'd have to find some time later to tell Buffy that he'd be staying home for a while. Hopefully some time at home would save their relationship. Things were usually good while he was home, at least until he had to go again and they argued again. Today was different, today had started off good and then something changed. It was always about the touring though, about the time he spent away from home.

The day went on seamlessly well. Buffy and William played nice in front of the kids and even felt like they had made up although they hadn't had a chance to talk privately yet. They had an unspoken agreement to never argue in front of the kids. If they needed to discuss something they did it behind closed doors. Dawn was old enough to feel the tension growing between her sister and William, but she hadn't spoken of it to Buffy yet. Will on the other hand was still childishly oblivious to the whole situation, especially now that it was Christmas time.

He was still a kid, naïve, in his own little world. His dad was his hero and his mom, well, she was the best mom. Will didn't know any better than to think these things of his parents, because that's what children do, they see the best in their parents and think the world of them. With Christmas here he was just excited about spending it with his dad for the first time. It never really crossed Will's mind that he was different from other kids because his dad wasn't there when he was younger or that his dad was a musician. That was just the way it was for him.

When the day came to a close they'd all had dinner together and spent some time watching a Christmas movie on TV; there were plenty to choose from at that time of the year. After the movie Dawn went to her room to get ready for bed and read before going to sleep while Buffy and William put Will to bed. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and while they hadn't talked much about their plans, they wanted to spend the holiday together doing fun family stuff. This Christmas it was just them. Giles was spending the holiday in Sunnydale with Jenny and the rest of the band members were spending the holiday with their families.

After Will was in bed, kissed, and read to Buffy and William were alone in their room again. William cautiously broached the subject of his plans, not wanting to upset Buffy. "Buffy, I called Oz," he began and he saw her eyes meet his with interest and a hint of worry. "I told him that we'd wait until February to do the tour of the southwest, so you and I have some time to work on 'us'," he said.

Looking at him for a moment she began to hope that they could work on things while he was home. She sat down on their bed and patted the spot beside her, watching him follow her gesture and sit in the spot. "William, I love you. You know that. I know this life isn't going to be easy for us, being away from each other. We just… need to work at this," she said, gesturing between them. "I don't want 'us' to fall apart like my parents' relationship did. My dad was away so much that he started having affairs with other women. His excuse was that my mom didn't hold his interest and that was bull. She was at home, taking care of Dawnie and me. I just don't want that to happen to us. Ok? I want us to work at this and stay together."

"Buffy, I'm not going anywhere. Yes, I have to travel and be away from you, but it kills me every time I walk out that door and every second I'm away from you physically hurts me. Don't for a second think that just because I'm not here with you in the physical sense that I'm not thinking of you. You're all I think about. You're my muse, my love, my world."

She smiled and he leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips, making no move to deepen it. "Ok, honey, let's get changed and get to bed. The next couple days are going to be big," she said with another smile.