WARNING: This story contains a very adult theme having to do with vibrators and various sex toys if you are offended by such objects i would not read or read with caution. There will be lemons and implied lemons along the way as well. As well Yachiru will be integrated into this story there will be NO child porn at all and I will not sexualize her in any way shape or form. This is also a VERY CRACK fiction .

Any who I hope you all have as much fun reading this as I did writing it.

Rukia sat on her bed and just looked at the little red box in front of her in disbelief , how in the hell had she gotten herself tangled up in this mess . She couldn't give this to any one not even anonymously because in her heart she would know who had it ,and she could probably never look at that person again without blushing or laughing .

She let out a deep breath and flicked the stupid box. " Damn Martini Mondays."

Martini Mondays were a tradition the Shinigami Woman's Association started after Lieutenant Nanao came back from the real world having been introduced to this wonderful drink by her Taichou. However Martini Mondays were reserved for special occasions when there was a subject that the woman didn't necessarily want to address. These Mondays were not like the usual Saturday meetings with a little saki when they were all feeling like they needed a break. Martini Monday was like pulling out the big guns when No one felt like addressing the topic. In this case it was white day, every year they were required to exchange gifts the with Men's Association, but for some reason this year none of the women wanted to they were well good and tired of going out of their way to try to find a good gift for their counter parts only to get a piece of chocolate some other half assed gift it just didn't seem worth it any more. That and the fact the Hitsugaya didn't like candy it made him feel like a child blah, blah , blah. Kuchiki didn't like sweets whine , whine , whine. No one could blame Ukitake he loved candy but Unahanna often worried about the man's health . A long with various other complaints the men were just big baby's and forget personalized gifts it's not the right color , the right size hell the right thing. Then it became a who had the biggest penis day by judging who got the most gifts. No one wanted to deal with their bitching and ego's this year .

Plus none of the girls had anyone this year they in particularly wanted to give gifts to or none they would admit to because this year had just been a crazy year for them . Mayuri had slipped everyone a truth serum and a lot of bad feelings as well as un wanted omissions of " I have loved you all my life's" came out so there had been a lot of avoidance because of it. So the meeting started off like this

"Who brought the Vodka?"Four bottles of various flavors shot up in the air. " Very good." Nanao stated. "And the mixers?"More hands shot up with things ranging for cranberry juice , lemon juice , vermouth and other highly alcoholic mixers as well as ice and the lovely shakers that made this meeting oh so wonderful. All the girls had their own personalized glass's ranging for the very simple to the elaborate shaped and frosted glass. They even quazi let Yachiru in on the fun with her florescent pink glass which was always filled with cranberry juice.

This meeting was going to be held in squad two's main office because everyone was scared senseless of Soifon's wrath so the women could drink in peace. Since this was considered more of a grown up meeting after everyone had their first glass in hand Nanao Stood up to address them " So who actually wants to address the subject at hand?" the room was filled gowns then became extremely silent "Come on." She said with a tired sigh "This god forsaken day will not just disappear."

"I could probably make it." Soifon muttered."

There was a silent consideration of this idea before Matsumoto stood up "Why don't we just go with chocolate I'm sure I could pacify my Taichou from whining to much." The women looked up at her with pointed looks they all knew that one wasn't going to happen. "Fine." She sat down and drained her glass. By this time even thought it was early the first round was almost done and the second round was getting set up. It was Rukia who stood up this time her glass almost empty. "Why don't we just annoy them all this year and get them Chappy mug's." there was another murmur of consideration "That's not a terrible idea." She said with a shrug. The second round was going around and the women were starting to loosen up a bit. "We could get them nothing this year." Isane Kotetsu said truthfully this idea didn't even get her reprimanded by her Taichou and got a few giggles as the lovely drinks started to work their magic.

Lounging very haphazardly on a chair Nanao's eyes got a little gleam in them. "I know what to get them." She started to smirk an almost devilish smirk the diverted all of the women's attention to this normally proper vice captain. "We get them vibrators." She started to giggle a bit. At this thought Matsumoto started to laugh. "Why?" Ise grinned " Well think about it, every year they preen like a bunch of damn peacocks as the candy starts to pile up on their desk. I for one never get to hear the end of it from my Taichou." She snorted and shook her head with and un amused expression, but there was a tittle of laugher that was starting to spread through the girls. "I got this idea from my Taichou. You guy's remember after that truth serum came out. Well Shunsui actually gave me one and told me if he couldn't get rid of my frustration himself then he would give me something that made me think of him every time I used it." This time all the women were really stunned into silence.

Nanao dismissed this with a wave of her hand "But think about this , they think they know us all so well, why don't we give these gifts anonymously to see if they really know us and to see if these " she quoted in the air with her fingers 'Might taichous' even know how to respond after getting something so forward. I mean Matsumoto got so many empty I will love you until I die omissions she even went into hiding." " I did not hide" the other woman said petulantly. "And poor Taichou Kuchiki threatened to kill people if they kept it up. They were all false lust filled declarations of love." As sad as it sounded it was true because the only thing the serum brought up was current pet peeves that people were having at that time. "And you know about there over inflated egos. This could be a real omission of how we really feel about them ." the sent out snorts and a lot of laughter . "Oh come on think about giving Renji a ten inch floppy dildo." This sent out a burst of laughter now even from Rukia. "Flaccid and full of air." Momo snorted and spit out her sip, Nanao arched her eyebrow still smiling get Hitsugaya a two inch teal one. No one would know who gave what and if this is what we really thought about them."

"This will send them into therapy for years." Unahanna giggled "And think of the one we could get for Yamamoto" Soifon smirked a drunken little smirk and the entire room erupted in giggles "Or the many" the room erupted in laughter " I say let's do it." Unahanna laughed and got out her lap top and all the girls gathered round with their third round and credit cards in hand.

By this time Yachiru had fallen asleep on Soifons desk and was drooling on her paper worker due to lack of knowledge about what these crazy women were talking about and boredom.

After ordering with express deliever and a discount for buying in bulk the woman dispersed without properly closing the meeting because they were well on their way to happy land.

All Rukia remembered about the rest of the night was very wobbly making her way home in a half drunken haze and meeting her Nii-sama at the door. She had watched as his disapproving expression turn to anger , turned to concern. She looked up at him snickered and said "You're going to love this one." She was really lucky he didn't kill her as she wobbled her way to her room and passed out on her bed.

Now Rukia sat on her bed and stared at the box with a miserable sigh by the time the vibrators came it was too late it was two days before white day and there was no going back on this drunken idea .And now white day was tomorrow so there really was no going back . Taking a deep breath she looked away from the box. Rukia knew who she wanted to give it to and now it just felt like she was throwing herself off a cliff .

That truth serum that Mayuri had given out had done some major damage around the Seireitei to a lot of people but the most damage it did was to the Kuchiki house. For the three horrid days that it stayed in your system you could literately hide no emotion. So even if you didn't say anything to anyone you could feel it in the room emotions oozed from the person that was feeling it .May it be longing , desire , lust , love or pure unadulterated hatred it was there.

What hit Rukia the hardest was the first night it had been in her system. She had decided to go out to the garden to walk in the moon garden. It was a quiet solitary place that she could contemplate her little world as she made her way around the maze , and that night she had a lot of contemplate. A few days before she had gone to the private training room in the manor it was quiet there and it seemed to be a place that she and Sod-No-Shirayuki communicated the best. It had been the middle of the day so she really thought nothing of it her Nii-sama was away at work or doing something that had to do with the family which meant she had it for the whole day by herself without being under the watched and very scrutinizing eye of her Nii-sama.

When she had gotten to the room and started to open the door she heard something that was coming from inside it sounded like soft foot steps. So curiously before opening the door all the way she peak in and what she saw made her heart and her stomach feel like they plummeted to the floor . She couldn't move she couldn't speak and she couldn't look away. Her Nii-sama was practicing which wouldn't have been unuseal or made her react in such a manner but his jacket had been thrown haphazard to the side of the room and he was only in his Hakama pants , no slippers , no socks . His eyes were closed as he was moving through each form. It was like watching liquid flow over steel every muscle in his body moving with smooth precision that took her breath away. She had never seen her Nii-sama in such a raw form his face was soft and placid as his body moved with an easy grace making him look like a much younger man , a man his age without a care in the world. It felt like she was seeing him for the very first time as she felt something warm unfurl from inside of her and that scared the hell out of her.

That thought alone made her snap back to reality and out of her trans not even bothering to close the door she tried to move out of the wing as silently as possible before hitting the main hall and sprinting out of the house. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe and it felt like her world had crashed in on her. He was her Nii-sama he was not a man to be wanted or desired he was cold and collected the entity that satellited around the manor with her. He was not supposed to be real to her she had been fighting this thought for some years now. She couldn't ignore his presence he was a beautiful man to be sure and as they slowly thawed to each other her feelings had started to change and with what she had witness almost made him tangible.

She had dreamed about him for the next few nights his image having been thoroughly etched into her brain and now she couldn't seem to get him out of her head. As she walked he was all she could think of she silently wondered what it would be like to touch him to feel him .Mentally frowning to herself she now felt like every other foolish women of the Seireitei letting out a disgusted snort she ran into something hard. However that something hard caught her and that was when the worst thing that could have possibly happened, happened she looked up into his eyes.

"Oh god." She pulled her hand out of his as her heart beat wildly in her chest.

He looked down at her intensely. What she expected to see was anger flash through his eyes but she saw something completely different a softness.

"You saw me didn't you." His voice came out gently as he brushed a stray piece of hair from her cheek.

"Yes." She whispered looking away "I . . I. . . didn't mean to ." she started to ramble nervously trying escape whatever wrath she would encoure .

He went to open his mouth again but the feelings that were radiating from him were too much for her to take if she wasn't mistaken she was feeling the same want and need from him that she was feeling with in herself and that was more then she could handle.

"I need to go." The words came out hurriedly and she ran back to her room.

The next few days had been impossible in the Kuchiki house hold nither one would come home and if they did they would purposely pass each other and took their meals separately in their rooms.

After it was discovered what Mayuri had done all hell broke loose as the damage that had been done was trying to get repaired.

Things went back to normal in the Kuchiki house hold the whole incident had been blotted out as if nothing ever happened.

She continued to look at the box , the damage had already been done so if she gave this to Byakuya what's the worst that could happen?

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