Chapter Five: Into the Castle

Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim

P.O.V. Lily

After walking around the train, greeting people, Lily was ready to head back to severus and their compartment. She had met a couple first year girls she already liked. One of them was even muggle-born, just like her!

Her two new friends, (she felt sure they would become good friends), were named Alice and Ivy. Alice was a quiet girl with an expressive face. Her hair was waist length and divided into long sausage curls. It was a deep and shiny brown color. She was very agreeable, and though she said very little, she managed to come across as someone wholly likable and trustworthy.

Meanwhile the muggle-born one, named Ivy, was tall and gangly, with frizzly blond hair she blamed on a month in the Bahamas. Her parents had apparently paid for her to get her hair braided, and she hadn't bothered to unbraid it until she got home, yesterday.

She had been talking about the Bahamas trip for the last half hour, and Lily felt as if she had been there with her.

"I didn't want the braids, it's mama. She's always trying to get me to do weird things with my hair." Ivy complained, striding ahead of them with her long legs. "Parents can be so annoying!"

Alice agreed, "yeah."

Ivy smiled at her; they were clearly going to get along very well.

"Well your hair will be back to normal soon, I bet," Lily said, reaching out to touch it. She twirled a strand between her fingers, "It's so soft." Like Petunia's hair had been.

Ivy turned her smile to Lily, blushing at the compliment, "It's usually stick straight. I'll be surprised if it isn't back to normal by tonight!"

"Hey, you guys want to meet my best friend?" Lily asked. She had been away from the compartment for twenty minutes, and she was sure Severus would be worried.

"You already have a best friend here? You're muggle-born too, aren't you?" Ivy said. She stopped suddenly to hold onto a door handle as the train rattled around a corner.

"He's from my neighborhood."

"A boy!" Ivy poked Lily's shoulder. Her smile was the smile of an alligator as she continued, "You have a boyfriend?" Ivy was turning out to be a mercilous teaser, like Petunia. Lily shook the comparison away, scowling.

"No," Lily felt her cheeks warming up, and she blew into them with a closed mouth to conceal the blush, "he's my best friend. I don't like him or anything."

"So then, you already have a boy you like?" Ivy cooed. Lily decided to turn the tables.

"No! Why, you have a crush already?" Hah, Ivy would definitely drop the subject if she was the one being teased, that's what Petunia would have done.

But, surprisingly, Ivy looked unabashed as she responded, "Actually, yes! Don't tell anyone, okay?"

Alice and Lily both agreed to keep her secret, interested. They waited for Ivy to elaborate, but she would not continue if she wasn't prompted. She mimicked a taciturn reserve as she smirked silently.

"Who?" Lily asked, giving in.

"Sirius Black!"

"Really?" Lily tried to remember what Sirius had looked like, or acted like, to make him cool enough to have a crush on. But she could only remember James leaning over her hand, his lips brushing against her skin. Her stomach turned, and she tried to associate the sick response with an identifiable feeling. What was this? Did she have a crush on him? No! She didn't want to have a crush on anyone. That was too strange.

"Yeah, he's really cute!" Ivy rebutted, "Have you guys met him?"

"No," Alice rejoined, her face was small and thoughtful.

"I did. He was with his friend James Potter." Lily said. "He and his friend got in a fight with Sev after his friend kissed my hand."

After she said it, she felt embarrassed. Had that been too much information? Lily looked up, blushing, and sweating slightly. She hoped Ivy wouldn't take this information and tease her with it. She was less worried about Alice's reaction.

"I can't believe he kissed your hand!" Ivy's eyes were wide, "Did you tell him he could?"

"Um, no?"

"That's really rude," Alice said. Her eyebrows were arched and concerned.

Had it been rude? Lily thought about it. Maybe that's why Severus had been so angry, because he shouldn't have kiss her on the hand. She had never been kissed on the hand before, and it had made her feel really weird.

Suddenly, she was annoyed. How could he just walk in there and kiss her hand without asking? Ivy and Alice were right, it had been really rude.

"What did you think about Sirius, though?" Ivy asked, impatient.

Lily was careful in her response, she didn't want Ivy to think she had a crush on Sirius, too, "I remember that he was cute, but I didn't really pay attention to him, what with the fight and all."

Ivy smiled, her shoulders straightened, "He really is cute." She was proud to have a crush on a cute boy. It was as if having a crush on him meant that she was just as cute and crushable. Though, as Lily studied her, she had to agree that Ivy was cute enough for a guy to have a crush on, though she was very tall.

A couple girls at her elementary school had had boyfriends in fifth grade. One girl, Carolyn Jones, had even had a boyfriend in third grade, and everyone had talked about it. Lily had never had an interest in boys, but she had become aware that people around her were beginning to race towards adulthood at a speed she could not match. She was envious of Ivy's crush, and the potential for her new friend to have a boyfriend. A boyfriend of her own, a boy who liked her. What did that even mean?

Lily thought about this for a while, looking towards Alice, who appeared just as confused as she was. Alice was chewing her lip and squinting.

"Do you have a crush on anybody?" Lily asked her.

Alice shook her head.

"Lily?" Severus poked his head out of the compartment down the hall, "We're nearing the station soon."

Then he saw she was talking to her new friends and hastily ducked from sight.

"That's my friend Severus, he's really shy." Lily explained.

"Oh," Ivy frowned, "Well I guess we'll see you soon, unless you want to change in our compartment. It's weird to change in front of a boy."

Lily glanced backwards, through the empty hall to the compartment with her belongings. "Yeah, I'll get my stuff."

She explained the situation to Severus as she collected her bags, stuttering when she got to the part about not being able to change in front of a boy. Severus had never been a boy to her before, and the change in their relationship seemed tangible enough to trip over as she explained it.

He blushed, "Well okay, I'll see you at sorting then."

"Yes! Definitely!" With renewed vigor, Lily turned to leave.

But, she stopped at the door, pausing as if some ghostly force was holding her there in time. She rotated her shoulders, and stared at Severus with the shock that accompanies an indefinable chasm between the past and future. Rarely had she felt anxious for something as small at this action, leaving the compartment. But she felt as if she was not only leaving Severus alone, but she was leaving a part of herself with him.

Was this growing up?

His expression was glum, and he watched the scenery from the window in a dream. He had already given her up for gone, and did not bother to meet her gaze.

She wanted him to look at her and smile, but he stared still, watching the window with that sad expression.

Breathing in, steadily facing forward, she left him behind. The compartment shut with a snap behind her, but she did not hear it over the whine of the train as it whirred around another bend in the track.

"What house do you want to be in?" Lily asked Alice as they helped Ivy unto the boat.

Severus had left in a boat ahead of them with a gaggle of boys he was talking too. Lily had never seen him talk to any other boys, and she was slightly suspicious. Was he purposefully taking a separate boat so that he didn't have to talk to her? Was he mad at her for joining her new friends in their compartment and leaving him behind?

Lily was so preoccupied that she didn't even notice that James Potter had joined their boat until they had sailed half the length of the lake.

When she did notice, she felt the annoyance from earlier reemerge. He better not kiss her hand again! But he didn't appear to want to. His smile was small, and his eyes followed a far off point in the distance. She turned to follow his line of sight.

"I want to be in Ravenclaw," Alice murmured.

Lily barely heard her response.

Bars of blue and white clouds broke across the face of the black castle stretching into a murky sky. This dark castle rose from the lake, framed by a forest of shadowed green. Lily raised her hands to her lips, smiling despite the chill of wind sweeping across the water.

"Wow!" Ivy chattered, rubbing her arms violently to keep warm, "I'm so excited!"

"Me too," Lily agreed, holding her arm up to eye level. The goosebumps and raised arm hair were enough to prove to her that a wizarding cloak was not going to be adequate enough to keep warm in the fall. She might have to unpack the winter cloak early.

"What house do you want to be in?" Alice asked.

"Slytherin." Lily said.

"What?" James, who had been so quiet, quiet enough to forget about, sat up straight and stared.

Alice, who knew about the house system, was accepting. Ivy, who knew nothing about the house system, was uncaring. James was visibly upset.

"What's wrong with that?" Lily asked, annoyed that he seemed so nonplussed about it.

"Slytherin is for bad wizards," James informed her, "Plus, there is no way they'd let in a muggle-born witch."

"How do you know I'm muggle-born?" Lily said, fast becoming annoyed. She had a short fuse, and his last couple statements had made her feel insulted.

"I just know," He said, sounding superior. He flicked his fingers through his hair, the way Sirius had earlier, and frowned. She noticed his glasses were no longer (red) but clear and square-framed. He was obviously trying to be cool, she could tell by his attitude alone. "Salazare Slytherin, the founder of Slytherin house, hated muggle-born wizards. There is no way the sorting hat would put you in Slytherin."

"Are you saying I'm not good enough for Slytherin house?"

Both Ivy and Alice were watching them with open mouths, though Ivy was smiling slightly.

"I'm saying that you could do better than Slytherin!" He messed with his hair again, as if the wind hadn't tousled it enough, "I bet you anything you're placed in Gryfindor. I'll be in Gryfindor too, of course. Gryfindor is for the brave wizards."

After it was settled in her mind that he was not intending to insult her, but to flatter her, she lost interest. She hadn't sized him up before, but now she had him pegged as a boy with a huge ego, and an even larger mouth.

Lily sat back on her elbows, "We'll see."

Her gaze drifted across the water to Severus, who was standing on the shore, watching the boats washing inland. He was still talking to those boys. If he heard James telling her she couldn't be in Slytherin, he'd be really mad. He'd reassure her that she was going to get into Slytherin.

Why hadn't they gotten on the boat together?

As they walked along the pathway to the castle James found Sirius and joined him at the front of the group. Lily eyed his back fretfully. He kept being rude, kissing her hand, telling her she wasn't good enough for slytherin. What was his deal anyway? Was he bullying her? She was angry at the thought.

"I think he likes you," Ivy said, jabbing her in the ribs.

"Ow," Lily pushed her back, less roughly, "why do you think that?"

"He ditched Sirius to be on our boat, for one thing, and he called you brave!" She waved at another first year girl who was talking to a large group of girls, her attention divided.

Alice spoke up, "I think he likes you, too, Lily."

Lily craned to see over the heads of her fellow first-years. Where was Severus? She wanted to talk to him about this new information. The annoying boy she didn't like had a crush on her. Severus should have been the first to know.

But he was still talking to those boys from earlier. Up close, Lily saw that they were not cute at all. One of them was fat and bug-eyed, with a glower. The other was sickly pale, with a light brown military hairstyle. She felt intimidated by the unfriendly aura they were projecting, and by the solid back that Severus was presenting to her. Why wasn't he turning to see where she was?

She was so distracted, and hurt, she didn't pay attention to the words of the giant man guiding them into a set of double doors below the castle, though his low, brittle voice hummed in the background of her thoughts.

Why was Severus mad at her? If she lost him too, she would be devastated. He was her best friend, her confidant, her past and present. Losing him would mean losing her childhood, cutting cords and moving into adolescence, alone.

His head turned and he noticed her, craning to see him. She waved.

He paused.

Then he waved back.

Though he didn't smile, and returned to the conversation with those strange boys, she felt better, happier. Even if he was mad at her, the fact that he waved meant there was hope to talk him out of it later. Ivy had floated over to another group of girls, and was rapidfire speculating about house placements. These girls were explaining all about the house system.

Alice had stayed behind, trained to her side. Lily looked down; her new friend was a head shorter than her. Alice smiled, "I'm really excited," she said, "I hope we're in the same house."

"That would be fun," Lily looped her arm through Alice's, watching their giant guide lead them across the path to a set of large doors where a woman stood waiting. "But even if we're not in the same house, we can hang out all the time outside of classes!"

"Yeah!" Alice flushed slightly, "I like you a lot, Lily. I hope we become good friends."

"I feel like we are already," Lily said. She felt kind of corny, but the smile on Alice's face made her happy she had said it. Alice and she were on the same wavelength, though the other girl was less verbose, and she really did feel as if they would become very good friends.

"Thank you Hagrid, I'll take it from here," the woman who had been waiting for them finally spoke up. She was middle-aged, with streaks of gray in her chestnut hair. Her face was smooth and her nose curved below the rims of her glasses. She reminded Lily of a portrait she had seen of Emily Bronte.

Lily dearly wished she was closer to the front of the group, because she couldn't hear the woman very well. As they were led inside, she pushed her way through the crowd, tugging Alice along with her, nudging them forward.

Then, they were inside. The entrance hall reminded her of the entrance hall to a museum, torches lighting the floor with pools of light. A massive staircase led upwards to a mysterious upper level.

"Hey Lily…" James said.

Lily tensed. She hadn't realized that she had moved up to the place next to him. She was about to move away when…

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," The woman began, "My name is Professor McGonagall. Please follow me." She turned on her heel and led them into a small side room.

Lily took this opportunity to move to the other side of Alice, so that James wouldn't talk to her. If he did like her, she didn't want to make him think she had a crush on him too. When they were all in the room, to her chagrin, she noticed that James had wormed his way next to her again. He tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention.

"Hey, do you know anything about the sorting hat?" He asked her.

"I think Professor McGonagall will explain it," Lily said, without facing him.

"I can tell you about it, if you'd like," He said.

"No thank you," she replied, still not facing him.

"The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history." James snorted, and whispered into her ear, 'There is nothing noble about the history of Slytherin, trust me.' "While you are at Hogwarts, your success will earn your house points, while breaking the rules will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup. I wish each of you the best of luck in bringing your house points. The ceremony will take place in a couple minutes in front of the school, please make sure you are looking your best. I will return when we are ready for you, so please wait quietly*."

Professor McGonagall left the room.

"She didn't explain the sorting hat at all," James pointed out, sounding eager, "do you still want to know about it?"

"I do!" Ivy had returned, and she was eyeing Sirius, who stood silently at James's side inspecting his nails.

Lily crossed her arms. She was nervous for the sorting so talking about it would just make it worse. Why was Severus still talking to those boys? He should be over here, distracting her!

"It's a magical hat, charmed to think!" James began, lowering his voice. Was it Lily's imagination, or were people leaning closer? No, it wasn't her imagination. A couple first years had turned around and were listening openly. "It actually knows what is in your head, and it knows who you really are!"

"Wait, so the hat is smart like a wizard?" Ivy asked, intrigued.

"Yeah! Then it sorts you into the house that best fits your personality. If you're brave, and strong, you get into Gryffindor!" He sighed theatrically, "If you're clever you go to Ravenclaw, if you're friendly you go to Hufflepuff, and if you're SNEAKY you go to Slytherin." He wrinkled his nose.

"Sneaky and stupid," Sirius added.

"What if you're more than one of those things?" Alice squeaked. She was clearly intimidated by sheer amount of first years that had crowded around their conversation, listening.

"The hat knows which one of those qualities you have the most of, the biggest quality, and puts you in the proper house. That's why Lily is getting into Gryffindor."

"What do I have to do with this?" Lily blushed. She didn't like a bunch of people staring at her either.

She looked around to see if Severus had heard James, but he and his new friends were the only ones who hadn't been listening. They were standing in a corner, still talking.

"I'm just telling you what's going to happen," James turned to Sirius, "You'll get into Gryffindor too."

"What about me?" A tiny brunette stepped forward to be assessed.

But she would never find out, because just then the doors opened and Professor McGonagall walked in, "Form a line first years. Follow me."

Lily took great care to be sandwiched between Ivy and Alice in the line, just in case James started talking to her again in front of the whole school.

The Great Hall was full of students who Lily didn't dare look at. Instead, she took in the beauty of the hall itself. She had read Hogwarts: a History so she knew the ceiling had been enchanted to look like the sky above it. But knowing something and seeing it were two different things. The clouds she had seen from the boat were floating above them, and the long, bulky tables, were laid out like a picnic set up for a crowd of guests beneath the stars.

The front table looked like a table lined with judges, but Lily guessed that these 'judges' were actually the professors.

Professor McGonagall put a stool and a hat in front of them and stared at it. It was a dirty, patched hat, not at all what Lily would have expected of a hat with such a reputation.

It began to sing:

"You've heard about the sorting hat
and I am surely he
I'll look inside your souls and find
the place where you should be.
It does not matter where you're put
but what you learn in school

It does not matter who you are
whether sage or fool,
For darkness lives outside these halls
it tells no man apart
you could be cowardly and dead,
alive and brave of heart.
When I choose your house today
I'll choose between the four
but you'll be choosing your own fate
and making it mean more.

Gryffindor for brave young souls,
Ravenclaw for smart

Friendly Hufflepuff, sly Slytherin,
But will you play the part?
Ignore today as I define
your most beloved trait
and move beyond the labels as
you work to make your fate."

The sorting hat had given them advice. Lily tried to commit the words to memory, but her attempts were made useless by the distracting murmurs from the student body.

Sporadic applause came from the professors at the head table.

Professor McGonagall held out of a roll of parchment and cleared her throat. "Please step forward, put on the hat, and sit on the stool when I call your name… Ace, Ivy!"

Ivy strode forward, picked up the hat and fumbled (the only evidence of her nervousness). Then it was on her head and shouting, "Gryffindor!"

Ivy smiled at Lily, and then shifted her gaze to Sirius.

"Asworth, Jordon,"

"Hufflepuff!"

Lily made eye contact with Alice, who was mouthing, "oh no." Her last name was "Zales" so she was going to be called last.

"Black, Sirius."

Sirius strode forward, with the same easy confidence as Ivy. He stuffed the hat on his head. It sat there for a second. Lily noticed that although Sirius had walked over confidently, his face was green and his lips were white. "GRYFFINDOR."

There was no applause for him as he took his place at the Gryffindor table, just silence. James cheered happily from the sidelines, seemingly oblivious.

"Carthine, Catholine,"

"Ravenclaw!"

Only a few more names until she was called, Lily crossed her fingers. Slytherin. Slytherin. Please Slytherin. She didn't care if people called her sneaky, she just wanted to be with Severus.

"Evans, Lily!"

Shakily, she stepped towards the hat. She could hear James cheering for her. She grabbed the hat, it was coarse and light. Then, she put it on her head.

"Gryffindor," the hat said quietly.

"No! Slytherin!" she begged under her breath.

"You belong in GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily groaned. Good for nothing hat. She couldn't help slamming it back on the stool as she stomped away. Also, she couldn't bring herself look at either James or Severus as she made her way to the Gryffindor table. Ivy patted the seat next to hers, smiling.

"Too bad about Slytherin, but at least we're together!" She whispered encouragingly.

Maybe Severus would be put into Gryffindor! Then they could be together anyway. She began to pray softly.

James sat next to her at the table and poked her in the shoulder, "I told you so!" He said jubilantly, "I knew you were going to be put in Gryffindor."

"Good for you," Lily said.

Then Severus was being called to the hat. It sat on his head for a very long time, and Lily held her breath.

"SLYTHERIN!"

He wasn't smiling as he walked over to the Slytherin table, even though he really wanted to be in slytherin. Lily sighed, turning her head to the empty plate in front of her. This was a depressing start to her new life in the world of magic. Her sister and her best friend had been ripped from her by circumstances.

She turned quickly to see if Severus was looking at her, but he was facing the wall. She was getting tired of seeing his back.

Alice was the last to be sorted. She was sorted into Gryffindor and Lily moved towards Ivy so that Alice could fit between her and James. He wasn't happy about this, but she didn't care. She was sad and hungry, and didn't like him anyway.

She felt at odds with herself, she was used to being cheerful, but things were happening that she could not respond to with cheer. So she was left responding with sadness, and it didn't feel normal. Was this growing up, after all? If so, she'd gladly take childhood, if she had a choice.

Alice giggled as the headmaster stood. She nudged Lily and pointed at his hair. It looked like he had stuck his finger into an electric socket. Lily giggled too; relieved that she could still laugh after all.

"Welcome students! I am Professor Albus Dumbledore and I would like to say a few, short, words before we begin to eat." The students laughed a little, and Lily laughed too, though she didn't know what was funny, "First, Professor Sprout has planted a Whomping Willow on the school grounds. You must not aggravate this plant, as it is quite capable of self defense. Madame Pomfrey has requested me to warn all students that she will only treat the first broken back that occurs as the result of approaching this extremely volatile, but rare and beautiful, tree. Second, [Filch] has banned dueling in the hallways, so the dueling club will have to move to a classroom for their practices this year." A few students groaned, "Lastly, the ministry of magic has passed new legislation stipulating that only young witches and wizards who attend Hogwarts may use magic during the summer, so you might want to pass that along to your younger siblings. Now, let's eat!"

Lily blinked rapidly, staring at her plate. It was full of steaming food. What a wonderful bit of magic! Had they whisked in the food while everyone had been staring at the headmaster? No, this was real magic, not a trick. The food had sprung from the plate itself, and it smelled so delicious.

Lily poked at the mashed potatoes under her nose, and breathed in.

Then she turned again to look at Severus. This time she saw his eyes. He was staring back. She smiled, waving slightly.

He lifted his hand and gave a wave, smiling too.

Suddenly Lily felt like crying, but it wasn't because she was miserable anymore. It was because she had hope that everything would turn out okay; she was far from losing her best friend. Maybe there was hope for her and Petunia too.

Lily turned back to her food, clenching her fists. She wasn't going to give up!

-Review Responses-

SecretlyAGryffindor- Thank you very much! I will try to update asap! The thing with James's hair I will investigate and alter if you are correct :] I hope I get to go through the seven years, though I really just want to skip ahead to the romance bit towards the end... However, I've been waiting a really long time to write this story so maybe I should tend to every detail... Anyway, thanks for the review!

Snuffles- I have read all the books many times, but I haven't read the 7th in half a year. I'm sorry if I got some of the details wrong, I will reread those chapters pertinent and hopefully figure out which parts I have gotten wrong. It's really important to me to be as accurate to the books as possible, so I'm glad you brought the discrepancies to my attention. Thank you :]

Da Bouman- Thanks! I updated this chapter because of your review!