Disclaimer: All JR's –as always, she deserved the credit, not me. ^^

Rating: Pffft, no idea. It's slash-ish. I'm just gonna' say mature, just in case!

A.N: This is quite a sad chapter I think..

Warnings: Slash. Depression. Just, generally not for easily offended eyes.

6.

Severus knew it was a little bit too much of a cliché, actually, he was fully aware of the pathetic fallacy of it all. Any minute now a shard of light would illuminate the small bundle shivering by his doorstep, and he'd know that it was all truly a little too ridiculous. But at the same time, he felt like it made sense, now all he had to do was pick it up.

Harry was still in bed that day, the emotional outbursts from the night before had taken it out of him, so he didn't see the most peculiar battle of wills that the former potions master had ever become embroiled in, take place. When Severus did finally appear at his door however, he was holding an incredibly miserable black kitten – not that Harry was initially certain it was a kitten – at first it just looked like a damp cloth that was determined to escape from Severus' rather large hands.

"I have found another dark haired reprobate for our home" Severus didn't seem as enthusiastic as most people are when deciding to get a pet, the kitten truly did not look like it wanted to be near the tall man and Harry definitely did not want something to take Severus' mind off him... But he did like the idea that this was their home. He even cracked a small smile when the retched thing finally bit the Slytherin and bolted under Harry's bed, although Severus' immediate concern about its whereabouts wasn't too affirming.

"Why?" Harry's meek voice littered the air slightly far off, as Severus began to delve under the bed blindly – only to be swiped viciously at by the now traumatised kitten – he couldn't help but feel that perhaps this hadn't been the worst idea.

"You could use each other's company while I'm away for a few days" Harry didn't seem very pleased at this idea, he mentally scowled at the small feline; as if it was the cat's fault that Severus was going to leave.

The next few days an erratic pattern began to develop between the three of them, Severus spent most of his time chasing the kitten trying to convince it to: clean, eat or just stay near him; the kitten decided that it hated Severus and constantly tried to evade him, while trying to convince Harry to hold him, following the young brunette whenever it wasn't occupied with escaping for the potions master and Harry did everything he could to outrightly ignore the kitten while trying to maintain Severus' attention. Severus could see this, and although he knew it probably wasn't healthy for any of them, it did mean that Harry had to make a more constant effort to involve himself. Whether it be pushing the kitten off the sofa where it was trying to clamber onto his lap... Or to try and push himself onto Severus' lap when the man was manhandling the cat onto his own.

Although, Harry's tendency to look for Severus before making any choices of his own wasn't good for him.. As much as it felt good – wonderful, blessed – having Harry need him, it wasn't good for the boy, and that's all that really mattered. Perhaps a few days away would be healthy for them, perhaps it'd show Harry that he didn't need Severus so much.

It was night before his journey to London, Harry had been clingier than usual. He'd had an awful episode early that day, fitting in his sleep and in turmoil for the past 7 hours, they'd finally calmed down with the two of them curled in an arm chair – Severus slowly passing his fingers through Harry's fine hair, while reciting Byron from memory. He almost decided not to go, that it wasn't safe, that Harry would be set back months if left by himself.. But was that really any worse than the prospect of him not being cured? No... It was his own anguish that would be quelled if he stayed, not Harry's, even if the boy didn't realise it.

"I think it's time we get some rest"

"I don't want today to end"

"That I do not doubt.. But it's better than we're well rested for the morning"

Harry didn't agree, but allowed himself to be lifted into Severus' arms. The kitten meowed dejectedly from being disturbed from its sleeping place – the folds of Harry's blankets – but trotted diligently behind them as they made their way to the bedroom.

Soft words passed between them, Severus doing all he could to assure Harry – promise him that one night and he'd be back, one night and he'd be here again and with Harry's only chance of a cure. He was so proud of the boy, so mesmerised at the small strength that would crest and trough, so terrified at the vulnerability that constantly flitted through those green green eyes. He had to go, he had to.

In the morning he left without saying goodbye, it was healthier for them not to make a big production of it. He hoped anyway.

-1 day later-

He probably shouldn't have left.

There was blood everywhere, he wasn't even sure how. Severus knew that the backlash was going to be awful, he knew that Harry's trust in him was going to have wavered.. That the boy was going to regret taking the steps forward they'd made together, that the stupid cat would have done nothing in aiding Harry's apathy.. But he didn't think it'd turn out like this.

Severus bolted across the room, grasping the boy – willing him to stop crying him, twisting the limbs in front of him trying to locate the source of the blood that littered the sheets, floor, and flesh – but Harry just kept screaming.

"Harry, Harry please come back to me.. What happened? What happened?"

But the Gryffindor just kept screaming, Severus was probably going to have to knock him out with a sleep potion just to let the boys lungs rest..

"DEAD!" That's all Severus could make out, it was traumatising. Harry had never been so vocal, so engaged in his upset.. Perhaps this was worse than the silent fitting from the first days.. From the soundless screams that kept them on edge for days.. Harry couldn't seem to stop keening.

"I killed him Severus" and then it made sense.

A dreamless sleep potion later, and Severus finally managed to locate the source of all that blood. A small wilted form, lost in the sheets that had once been the small felines bed. There was a large shard of glass protruding from its side and its body was stiff from rigor motes. Severus couldn't believe his stupidity. He'd signed the little creature's death warrant when he'd left him with Harry, especially after all those days of jealousy and contempt that had bred between them.. But the Gryffindor was so delicate, so caring, it would have been betrayal to think such a thing of his patient. Patient. That's what Severus should have remembered.. Harry wasn't well.

They buried the kitten the next day, they'd never named him before so they didn't do so now. The small box settled beneath the grass that they'd so oft had picnicked on. Harry had lain over the now covered grave, whispering his apologies, repeatedly asking for forgiveness.

The story of what happened had came out slowly, Harry had felt so guilty and struck with the reality of what had happened, that even when he did decide to say something – very little had come out.

It was just an accident; of course it was just an accident. A bad night, the kitten crying, Harry throwing everything away from him, including the strength potions that had shattered and wounded their small counter part... Harry too unwell to notice, never lone aid the dying feline.. He'd assumed he'd been dreaming the blood.. Until he realised that the house really had gone quiet.

"I didn't really want him to go"

"I know Harry, it was an accident"

"I wasn't really annoyed at him, I just-just.."

"It's ok Harry, you never knew this would have happened.. I shouldn't have left you alone with him"

"I wish he'd never met me"

It was awful that the most Harry had ever said was in grief, the accident had changed things. Suddenly Harry was scared that his own actions would hurt others, that he needed to get better.. But that didn't stop the death being any less ugly, or memory any less painful. Harry did look any worse in Severus' eyes, he was just as beautiful and pure, it was just another example where someone had let him down.. And Severus couldn't stand it, that this time it had been him.

A.N: Just in case anyone didn't really get this from my story, I think animal cruelty is disgusting. I myself am vegan & would never condone the mistreatment of animals. I think the majority of Severus & Harry's behaviour to the kitten was wrong – and that no one should treat an animal in their care that way.

How I got here, was that I thought about adding an animal but I knew that Harry wasn't ready yet and that Severus was too selfish and wrapped up in Harry to understand what another body (even if feline) would mean. So there's the consequence, writing it actually made me really sad.