Paper Plane
"Finally you're here!" Asakura Yoh said, as his twin brother entered the room for the first time that day "I've been waiting for hours!"
"Nice to see you too, otouto." Asakura Hao said, walking over to his brother's bed, like he did every morning. "You should be sleeping instead of waiting for me. We don't want you to get any worse."
"The doctors said my body gave up long ago." The boy said, with a smile, as he swung the bed sheets off his body and jumped out of bed "I can't get any worse."
"Don't say that." Hao said, sitting down on the couch next to Yoh's bed. Part of him wanted to tell Yoh to go back to bed, but he knew when his brother was in that mood, there was no stopping.
"It's the truth." Yoh said, still smiling. "Come on, we need to change."
"Change?" It was then that he noticed a small backpack, cleverly hidden under the bed sheets Yoh stripped out of the bed "Yoh, you're not going to do that again."
"Oh, yes I am." Yoh smiled "I told her I would go visit her again today. Can't back down on my promise." he took off his shirt and threw it to his brother "You haven't told dad, right?"
"Of course not." Hao frowned "But you should stop doing this Yoh, I'm serious! You'll get worse if you keep wondering off like that!"
"Nii-chan, I already told you." Yoh smiled sadly "I can't get any worse. Now give me your shirt."
One time, at one place
In this world
We communicate through paper airplanes.
Yoh smiled as he ran through the forest, the hospital getting farther and farther away. Sure, all this running was not good for his body, but he didn't care. Not at all. Not when it meant he would see her again.
He didn't expect to see that place when he first ran away from the hospital. In fact, all he wanted to do was visit the forest that he saw everyday from his window. Get some fresh air and move around. He was almost a prisoner inside that hospital, his soul a prisoner inside his own sick body, not allowing him to enjoy the little life he had left. He would see days pass by, his life slowly being drowned out, not being able to do anything but wait until death came.
He was sick of it. His family had done anything in their power to try and save him, but the truth is, they were only making the situation worse. His body had already given up, the doctors had said. There was no hope. All they could do was keep him there and try to prolong his life a little bit more, until the inevitable happened.
But no one knew how that was making things even worse! His father worked all day, trying to get enough money so they could pay for the hospital's service. His brother visited, but even Hao couldn't stay by his side forever. He would leave, and then Yoh would be all alone, staring out the window, looking out that beautiful forest while knowing he would never be able to enjoy it again.
The truth was, his body had already given up… And by keeping Yoh inside that place, his soul was fading away as well.
So one day he decided to go to the forest. Just once, to go and visit, breathe the fresh air, and feel alive for only a second. To forget his illness and let his spirit run free. His brother had fallen asleep in the chair, so Yoh slowly took Hao's coat off and putted on. He grabbed an old backpack his father had brought him, the one he used before he became ill and had to stop going to school, and ran.
None of the nurses noticed. They thought it was Hao running, after all, they were identical twins. And for the first time in a long time Yoh felt happy again. He was able to forget the fact that only had a few months left, able to forget the fact that he had no future.
And then, he saw her. A young girl, about his age, looking so sad. She was walking towards a fence, her head down, staring at the two feet covered in dirt. Yoh couldn't help but feel a pain in his heart as he watched her. So sad, so miserable… That place was keeping her prisoner, holding her captive.
Such a pity, he had thought. Such an adorable and young girl, with a great future ahead of her, kept prisoner in that place, deprived of any happiness. Not able to smile. He wanted to change that. Even though he believed her situation was a lot worse than his, he couldn't help but feel a connection to her. For both of them, things seemed hopeless now. And he didn't want that girl to feel like that. He wanted to see her smile. He knew she would have a beautiful smile.
And that's what started this relationship. Now he came back every day, just to see her. His brother had found out about it, and while at first he was angry, after seeing how being close to her made Yoh so happy, he agreed to go along. Every day when Hao came to visit they would switch places, Yoh would grab his bag and run. Run to meet her. Run to write more paper planes.
He kept them all. They were all hidden all over his room. He would read them over and over again once he went back. And every time he came to his room, Yoh would look forward to the next time he would see her.
A small frown appeared in his face, once he finally reached that hated fence. Like always she was late. He was always the first one to arrive. So while waiting, he took the paper and pencil out, ready to write the next paper plane.
Every day, when dad goes to work,
I escape from the hospital.
I'll always stay with you.
She was beautiful. He noticed how everyday she looked happier and happier. She seemed more open. It made him happy, knowing that her life was being a little bit easier to tolerate. And when she smiled… Oh God, when she smiled she looked like an Angel.
It didn't take long for Yoh to realize he was in love with that girl.
Being with her was what he looked forward each day. He loved seeing her, loved reading her letters… If he could he would stay by her side forever. They brought him something he had forgotten quite some time ago… They brought him hope.
But not for himself. No, he knew he would die. But seeing her every day, noticing how she got better and better… It made him hope for a better future for her. Yoh loved her, and he wanted nothing more than to see her happy.
"Sometimes I wonder if you're even sane." Her letter said "Why the hell would you risk coming here, to this horrible place? Do you have a death wish or something? It's not possible that your father lets you come here every day knowing about what's in here."
He couldn't help but laugh at her letter. No matter what she wrote, it always made him smile. It always made him feel… All warm and fuzzy inside.
"What? You actually thought I told my father? If he knew I was stepping outside my room he would kill me. My brother knows I sneak out, he helps me, but he has no idea where you are. I haven't given him the details. It's already kind of hard coming here, I don't want anyone getting my way. I don't want to stop seeing you… And no guards or fence can make me stay away from you."
He sent to her the plane, and waited for her response.
"You are insane."
Was all she answered.
They talked for the rest of the day, like always. Yoh swore that time went by a lot faster when he was near her. When he was reading her letters or thinking about her… It was like he was being teleported to another world, where time stood still, but then was suddenly brought back to reality, just to realize that he spend hours only thinking about her.
He couldn't remember when he last lost track of time before meeting her. It was like every day after he was diagnoses he had to keep track of time so strictly it made impossible to enjoy it. He could no longer just watch the clouds and the stars, calmly, without a care in the world. He had always to worry about his health, about how long he had left…
But this girl… When he was with her, it was like he was watching the clouds and the skies all over again.
And unfortunately, that day soon came to an end. He had to leave her again. That was always the hardest part. The look on her face when he wrote those words were heart breaking. She would look completely lost, and he would walk back home, thinking about the horrible life she must have returned to. He hated it.
But he couldn't have do anything. So he left and came back and every day. He and Hao would change places again, and his father comes back about an hour later. Always after his father and his brother left he would read her letters over and over and over again. Thinking about how much he hated the stupid fence that separated them and what he would give to have the power to destroy it so she could be free. So they could be together.
But who was he kidding? He knew they didn't have a future together… They could never have, for Yoh would never live long enough for that.
Every time I read your letters
My heart feels warm.
How can we disguise our love?
Yoh smiled as he changed his clothes once again. He couldn't wait to see her again. Even though it had only been a day, it felt like it had been forever since they last met. He had spent the entire night reading her letters and thinking about what to tell her.
"You really love this girl, don't you?" Hao asked, as he got in bed, looking at his brother with a sad look on his face.
"Yup!" he smiled even more brightly, grabbing his backpack. "It's hard to explain but… I feel wonderful, just by reading her letters. I feel like I need to see her everyday."
Hao smiled sadly.
"Well, then go." Hao nodded with his head "She's waiting for you. Just be sure to be back early for your exams."
"I will!" He smiled and waved by the door "Thank you big brother!"
Hao sighed as he watched his brother wave. Sometimes he hated the fact that his brother trusted him so much. It put him in such a difficult situation. He wanted to do anything to help Yoh get better, and the best place for him to stay would be at the hospital, where the doctors could try to nurse him back normal. Yet… Yet it had been such a long time since he saw Yoh open a true smile.
He had to either sacrifice Yoh's health or Yoh's happiness… Why did Yoh have to be in such a situation?
And the girl… He knew Yoh was trying to hide that fact from him, but the truth was, she was a prisoner. She was one of the girls kept at that place. It would be a miracle if she lived long enough. How ironic… Both children living so close to death, in love with each other, meeting in secret and hoping for a future that will never come.
Fate was a cruel thing indeed.
"Oh, Yoh, Hao I forgot…" said a man, appearing at the door of the room, with long brown hair tied in a pony-tail.
Hao's eyes went wide as he looked at the door. No good. This was not good. Not good at all.
"F-father…"
"Hao." His father frowned. "What are you doing in Yoh's bed? And wearing Yoh's clothes?" he looked around "Where is Yoh?"
"None of your business." He answered, now serious, the fear showing in his voice gone.
"He's my son." Mikihisa said "I think it is my business."
"Like it matters." Hao shook his head "You're never visit him, you never talk to him… I'm actually surprised you could tell it was me and not Yoh."
"I'm working! So I can save his life!"
"If Yoh had any idea what you did for work, he wouldn't want to be saved." Hao replied "Yoh would hate to know what you do to get that money. He wouldn't want to be saved if it means other people will die."
"I'll do anything to save my son's life." Mikihisa answered back.
"And if it wasn't for the fact that we may have a chance to save Yoh's life, I would make sure you rot in jail." Hao closed his eyes "Only because we may save Yoh's life…"
"Then why don't you tell me where he is?! If he gets out of bed he'll get worse!"
"Because now I see something I haven't seen in Yoh a long time." Hao looked out the window "I see… Happiness." He smiled slightly.
Yoh arrived later that day, running back with a huge smile on his face. He could feel his body heavy and being hard to breathe, but honestly he didn't care. Today they had talked for hours, and he actually heard her laugh. He did! He had never thought he would hear it! He never heard such a beautiful sound. And before he knew it, he was laughing as well. For a moment it felt like there was no fence separating them. It felt like they were together, side by side. He forgot for that moment about all the things that kept them apart.
It made him want more. More of moments like that, more of this feeling he had every time he was with her. He wanted them both to feel like that again some day.
"Nii-chan!" he called from the door, as soon as he entered the room "You won't believe what ha…" and suddenly stopped, all colors drained from his face "Father…"
"Where were you Yoh?" Mikihisa asked, standing up. Hao was by his side, looking down.
"I was… Out." Yoh looked away, not able to meet his father's angry eyes.
"Out? You are ill, Yoh! Terminally ill! Don't you want to get better?!"
"Yes but…"
"Do you have any idea how worried I was?! I come here and see Hao sitting in your bed, and he won't tell me where you are! You arrive hours later, running, almost missing your exams!"
"I'm sorry." Yoh said, not feeling sorry at all. He could never feel sorry for what he done, even if it was selfish. He knew how his family worried about him, and how they desperately wanted him to get better. And it was selfish of him to ignore their wishes just so he could have some moments of happiness but… But he would never feel sorry. He would never regret visiting that girl. The girl who lived in a prison and in his heart, all at the same time.
"You're going to tell me where you were right now."
"I was out."
"Out where?"
"Visiting a friend… Who lived beyond the forest."
"Beyond the forest? The only thing beyond the forest is…" Then he was speechless. His eyes went wide with fear, and his face was pale. "Yoh, that place is dangerous! What are you thinking?! Those people are dangerous! They are criminals! They are there to die and…"
"They are not!" Yoh answered back "She is not! She doesn't deserve to be there! None of them do!"
"They do, Yoh. They are dangerous and that place and the people who work there are protecting us! That fence is there to protect us and now you… you go there, risking your life and…"
"They are not dangerous! And that place it's not protecting anyone!" Yoh was now angry "She is not dangerous! She is just a girl! That place should be put down and so should that fence!"
"Yoh, I'm your father, and you listen to me: I don't want you close to that place ever again." He then looked at Hao "Come, let's go home."
And with that the two of them left, but not before Hao could look apologetic to his brother, who had his face hiding behind his hair… Keeping his tears from being seen. Even so
Dad says
He's afraid
Of that boy.
Even after his father's warnings Yoh did not stop visiting her. But now he could feel his body growing weaker and weaker. Before he could run to get her paper airplanes a lot more easily than now. He had fevers every night, and he was losing a lot of weight. Needless to say, Hao was worried, but that didn't stop Yoh.
He wanted to see her. He loved her so much. It didn't matter the hell he went through during the night, if during the day he could be with her. That's how he felt. It was worth it.
As he walks through the forest he couldn't help but think how it was ironic, that just outside that horrible place was this beautiful one. A place one could say it was similar to heaven. A heaven so close to hell.
He arrived and sat down, taking deep breathes. It was getting hard to walk all the way up there without losing his breath. His body ached and he could feel himself running a small fever. His body was giving up, the doctors had said. Soon it would stop functioning completely. He didn't have much longer.
But all those thoughts left his head as soon as she saw her walking towards him. Standing up with difficulty and started to wave, with that huge smile on. His eyes softened and quickly he took the paper and the pencil and started to write.
"You keep getting here earlier and earlier each day. Soon it will be you waiting for me to come. But then I'll receive angry letters telling me I'm too laid back."
He folded the letter and soon sent her the letter. She had a hard time holding back the smile as she ran up to catch the plane.
"If your punctuality is as good as your aim, you bet I'm going to complain!"
"Punctuality? Really? You use words like that?"
And then she smiled again, and he could feel his heart getting warm and fuzzy. It was funny, just by looking at her, he could forget all his troubles.
Don't you think you shouldn't do this?
I didn't understand anything.
"Tell me how is the forest behind the fence." A request came later that day.
He smiled sadly before looking behind and answering. The forest he passed through every day; the heaven close to hell… From her prison she could see the same forest his room in the hospital overlooked.
How was it like? It was a beautiful place, full of life. With trees of hundreds and hundreds of years, that still had a long way to go. With animals living their lives to the fullest and a river running close by that forest was the perfect picture of nature. It always amazed him how that place could be so full of life.
And at the same time, it always made him sad to realize that he would never be able to share all that with her. He wished he could free her. He wished he could destroy that stupid fence and take her by the hand. He wished he could run with her through the forest, and that the two of them could share moments like that forever.
Sometimes when he read her letters he almost felt as if it was possible. It hurt so much the fact that he could very easily picture himself with her for an eternity. It hurt him to wish so badly to be by her side, to be there for her at all times and see her every smile. It hurt because… Because he knew it could never happen. They were doing this, even though both knew that in the end it would only bring them pain. Getting attached to each other when they knew it could never be.
"It's beautiful! I wish I could take your hand and show it to you! I know, imagine this: Green everywhere you see! Life everywhere! Harmony and happiness! It's so peaceful! You can hear the birds and some river far away… And you can smell something in the wind that is so good, but I don't know what it is! Maybe it's just the healthy earth and the fresh air… But it's so good! It gets your lungs full and you don't grow tired of it! When you look up you can see the trunks from the trees and the leaves and even the blue sky with the clouds! It's beautiful! And then the river has such clean water that you can see the fish swimming! I wish that you would go with me there, and we could play in the water together."
And she smiled. Her smile… Such a beautiful smile. He would do anything to preserve that smile. He wished that she could smile like that every day, and that he would be there to see each one of them.
But who was he kidding? That could never happen.
All I need is to stay by your side.
What's so wrong about that?
The light from outside enters this building
And shows a shining future, although it's painful and false.
As he saw her running, Yoh couldn't help but smile sadly. It was sad that the place she had to get fresh air was there, between fences and with her feet buried in the dirt. He was sitting on the grass. It was weird how on the outside everything was green, but on the inside, everything was gray and brown and dull. It almost felt like the grass couldn't grow in that place. Like life wasn't allowed to go to that place. Right under that fence, when he could clearly see where the grass stopped and the dirt began.
That fence…If only it wasn't there, then she would be free. Then she could feel the grass between her toes and could smell air with no dirt. All because of that fence. It made him see that they lived in two different worlds.
He smiled sadly as he saw her writing something down. Sometimes he felt so guilty. She was always so honest with him, telling him all the horrible things that had happened to her, letting him carry some of that weight with her. She let him help her, just by reading to his letters. She would be so open and he… He wasn't. He couldn't. How would she feel if she knew he was sick? Terminally so. That in a few his body would stop working? That he would probably not make it to the next month?
How would she feel if she knew that he has been running away from the hospital just to see her? That the place she relied on was sick, weak, and would soon be gone? The only person who had cared for her would soon be gone, just like all the others. She saw people dying every day of her life. Yoh couldn't imagine how many people close to her heart she had lost. Would she be able to take if she knew that he was just as weak as her? Just as unhappy and just much as a prisoner? Would she handle the fact that he also has no future? No, he didn't think she would. So he had to pretend to be strong. Just for her. Just so she could find some inner strength as well, maybe enough to keep her safe until someone was able to rescue her and all the people inside that place.
But it was so hard! Sometimes Yoh knew she would see his cheeks, red from the fever. And she probably noticed how he could barely walk properly anymore. Sometimes Yoh felt so horrible inside he just wanted to talk to someone. But he couldn't talk with Hao or his dad without worrying them. And he couldn't tell her either.
The truth was that he didn't want to die. He thought he was ready for it, but as each day passed, as he grew weaker and weaker, he could feel that he was not ready for this. Not really. He wanted to stay here! See the flowers, the sky, the river… He wanted to live! He didn't want to die! He was not ready! He wanted to feel his brother's hands slapping him on the back of the head when he said something stupid, and he wanted to see her frown and her angry face! He wanted to stay with the ones he loved!
Yoh could hardly take it! And it was all going by so quickly! It was like 24 hours wasn't enough for only one day. He feared the night, for it reminded him how much closer he was from death. Sometimes he would cry himself to sleep… He was so scared! What would be waiting for him? What would happen? And what about the ones he left behind? Would they be ok?
There was so much going on in his head. The worst part was feeling his body giving up. He could feel that each day he could do less and less. Soon he will not be able to walk. Then move. His body felt like a 24 hour night, one that reminded him every second that his time on earth was limited. That soon he will have to say goodbye.
But he couldn't tell her that. No… Right now all he wanted to do was see her enjoying herself, having those few moments where she could feel loved, and not alone.
I'm desperate to go to you,
But I'm too far away.
He woke up in the morning with his brother looking over him, sighing in relief. A small smile appeared in his lips, as he tried to hide the fear that was washing away.
"Good Morning little brother." Hao said, still trying to smile "Did you sleep okay?"
"W-What happened?" Yoh asked, having difficulty sitting up. Hao was quick to put a hand behind his back and help him.
"What makes you think anything happened?" He asked, while fluffing a pillow and putting behind Yoh`s back.
"You`re never her before I wake up. And… And you seemed relieved."
"Of course I`m relieve!" he answered, now angry "You almost gave me and dad a heart attack!"
"Why?"
"The same reason as always." Hao said, walking over to the window and opening the curtains "The Doctors didn`t think you were going to make it through this night. Plus you are having difficulty moving." A pause "They don`t think that even with all the treatment you are going to live long."
"I see…" Yoh said, sadly looking down.
"But they don`t know you like I do. You are strong. You`ll make it through."
"Yeah… Whatever you say, nii-chan."
There was a silence in the room, Hao continuing to look out the window. He refused to believe what Dr. Faust had said. No, his brother was going to survive. He had to! They have been fighting this for years, his body wouldn`t give up now, would it?
But he would be lying if he didn`t admit his brother was getting worse. It was obvious. And he knew why too. Yoh was out of bed most of the time, visiting that girl. He thought it was okay to support it while Yoh was still able to do normal things like sit up on his own, but now… Would it be right let his brother continue to go to that place?
"Hao, can you get the bag for me?" Yoh asked, standing up with difficulty by the side of the bed.
Hao, hearing his brother`s request, quickly turned around.
"Yoh, I think you should stay in bed today. You are getting worse and worse. I`ve been ignoring this, but this night you almost died and…"
"Hao, I`ll go see her. I promised her I would come back today."
"I don`t care! You are more important to me then a promise you made to that girl!"
"Please Hao…!"
"No, not today."
"Hao…."
"No!"
"Hao!" Yoh yelled, and then he had to pause to catch his breath "I need to see her today. My… My body can hardly move. It`s been going on for some time now and… I`ll just go there and tell her I won`t be able to go back." Tears started to form in his eyes "I don`t want to, but I don`t think I`ll be able to go back there tomorrow. I… I just need to say goodbye… And… And tell her how I feel…" Yoh then smiled "She made me so happy… I… I can`t let her down…. I need to... To at least say goodbye..."
"Yoh..."
"I love her." He finally said, looking down "I love her… I don`t want to ever be apart from her but… If I can`t be there… I don`t want her to be waiting for me… I`m not going to live long… But she still has a chance… I don`t want to wait for someone who is long dead… Please… I just need… Just need to say goddbye."
Hao hesitated, before sighing.
"And tomorrow you`ll stay in bed?"
"I`ll have no choice but to do that." He smiled.
"Fine. But this is the last time." When I realize that I can no longer walk, I'm lost.
Once again, I can't see anything from here.
Death is approaching, and you
Worry me. What will you do once this happens?
That day was like any other. At least, that was what it would seem like for her. They exchanged letters and talked about things that to others seemed ordinary and boring, but to them who lived such a hard life, they were little everyday miracles.
He was secretly glad for her good aim. She almost always sent the airplane flying right into his hands. He almost never had to stand up to go find it. Yet when he did, he tried to mask the difficulty he was having with that task.
Yoh wouldn`t tell her. He would just say goodbye, say he couldn`t visit her anymore, tell her how much she loved him, but he would not say why. He wouldn`t let her see it. He was her strength. She couldn`t know he was breaking down. She couldn`t see the tears that wanted to run down his face. He wouldn`t let her.
Why couldn`t things be different? Why couldn`t she be free? Why did he have to be sick? Why couldn`t they be together? He wanted to just hold her tight for all eternity. Just to have her in his weak arms and be able to comfort her, tell her everything would be alright; call her by her name and then promise they would be able to stay like that forever… That would make him so happy…
Forever… Why couldn`t this day last that long? The shadows from the trees danced too quickly. Why did they have to move? Why did the sun have to set? Couldn`t they be stuck in time, this way they could never say goodbye? He wanted that. Yoh wanted so much that the next paper plan wouldn`t arrive, so he would never have to tell his love goodbye.
And she looked so happy! She was smiling! He could see happiness in her eyes, happiness that before didn`t exist. He didn`t want to end that! He didn`t want to bring down everything he gave her! She lived in that horrible place, yet she looked so happy…
Tears were threatening to appear when he noticed the sun was going to set. It was time… He had to tell her… He couldn`t look… He wasn`t going to be able to hold the tears back… He couldn't let her see…
I run.
But to say goodbye, what heavier feeling is there?
I send to the other side an unfortunate paper airplane.
I'm not going to show anymore tears.
Yoh turns around as quick as possible, not wanting to see what that unfortunate paper plane did to her. And it was like that turn took away all his strength, because as soon as he did that, all the tears he was holding started to fall. He had to hold back the sobs, knowing she was still watching.
A step, then another. He had to get away from there quickly. He couldn`t prolong their pain.
"Wait, please!" he stopped, but didn't turn around to see her. That… That was the first time he ever heard her voice… That was the first time they ever spoke with actual words. Why did it have to be in a moment like that? "What do you mean you're not coming back? You're my partner!"
He could hear she was crying. He could hear the sob she was holding back. He wanted to just turn around and hug her, tell everything was going to be okay. But he knew he couldn`t. To say they would be okay would be a lie, a lie to both of them
"Why not?! I kept all your letters…All of them! So carefully… You were the first one to make me feel loved again! I love you!"
He didn`t know if he should feel happy or not. She loved him! She loved him! She loved him just like he loved her! He wanted to say something, to say he loved her too and that he meant every word he said on those letters she kept with care. But if he did that, then she would know he was crying. And he needed to be strong for them.
She still had all of them, just like he still had all of hers. They both still had each other`s words, and they would have it forever… When she grows old and her memories start fading, she would still have his papers planes, and they would comfort her, just like they did now. And he would continue to read her letters every day. He would read them until death came to claim his soul. This way… This way he could still have something of hers, at least until his final moments.
"Please… Please… Please don't leave me." She was close to crying, sniffing and closing her eyes tightly. No, please don`t cry. Don`t cry. He doesn`t want to make you sad. It was better to let you know then to just disappear, right? It could be worse, so please, don`t cry
"I'll be waiting for you tomorrow, ok?"
He couldn`t say anything. With difficulty he continued to walk, his tears like waterfalls. She would be waiting for him… But he wouldn`t be able to go back.
It wasn`t fair. "Wait a moment! You're my partner!
You're not going to come back?
I've carefully kept all your letters.
I'll wait till you return again. Okay?"
He was right. The next day he could hardly move. The Doctors came into his room every hour, but he only got worse. He couldn`t walk on his own anymore. Walk? He couldn`t even sit! Hao stayed by his side every day, reading to him the letters she wrote.
How was she doing? He wondered about her every minute. Did she still wait for him? Was she okay? Was she still a prisoner? Did she hate him? He wished he could go to where she was and just see if she was okay. He wished he could write her something, just to make her feel better.
Oh, how he missed her. She was all he could think about. He knew all those letter by heart now. He could remember her face as she wrote each one of them. So cute… She was so cute…
" 'Are you saying my hair is ugly'?" Hao read, and then chuckled "Was it ugly?"
Yoh shook his head with difficulty, a smile on his lips.
"No…" he said, his voice weak "Her hair was… her hair… was beautiful… just like… just like her."
Ever since then,
My body no longer moves.
Soon, this will finish me.
That fence that divided us.
More and more days passed, and his exams got worse and worse. He could sometimes hear Hao and his father arguing with Dr. Faust outside his room. They wanted him to do anything to save him. They blamed the doctors for not trying hard enough. And he could hear the doctors saying there was nothing they could do. Soon Yoh would die. There was really no salvation.
Death… Death was coming. It was closer than his brother and his father could imagine. Yoh could feel he was living his last minutes. Yet all he could think about was the girl on the other side of the fence. This was death. He was gone and her… She could still go on. He didn't want her to feel this until years for now, when she is a grandma, all old and wrinkly.
He wants her to live. He wants her to be happy. More than anything he wants her to be free of that place. He wants to see her, from up above, running in the forest he told her about, with that beautiful smile. He wanted to hear that voice laughing. He wants her… No, he needs her to go on. He needs her to be happy. Happy for both of them. If she lives on, if she is happy, then he would feel like he lived on, and that he is happy by her side.
Please… If anyone can hear him… If anyone can grant him his last wish… let him be able to see her smile, just one last time… And then let her be happy. Let her be happy and free… She deserves that, more than anyone else in the world.
It was now. He could feel the pain. He could hardly see now, but he could hear the noises coming from the machines. They were going crazy. It hurt… Was this what death felt like?
She didn`t need to feel that now. She needed to smile, just like she smiled for him, so many times before.
I need you to continue on.
Always, at the other side.
How are you going to show your smile again?
It hurts... It hurts... It hurts...
Yoh could hear his brother running towards the door and yelling for help. He could hear the desperation in his brother`s voice. Soon many doctors would be there, trying to do what they can to save him, even though they had told his brother and father just yesterday that it would be impossible to save his life.
"Nii…" Yoh said, trying to ignore the pain "Nii-chan…"
"Don`t speak now Yoh! Be quiet, don`t use strength!" he said, and then turned to the door "Help! Help, please!!"
"My… My letters…" Yoh said, his voice so weak that could barely be heard "My letters… Please… My… letters…"
"I`ll read them." Hao said, a sad smile on his face while he held back tears "I`ll read them to you. Tomorrow, ok? I`ll read the letters tomorrow, once you wake up, ok?"
But Yoh knew… he knew that for him, there would be no tomorrow. There is no longer any light to illuminate that flower
We can't change destiny.
I only want your letters.
My light is dimming.
He can no longer see. His senses are growing weaker and weaker and the pain is becoming numbing. He can hardly process everything that is happening. He can hardly put his thoughts into words. All he can do is imagine her face.
Please, let her be okay. Please… Let her live.
Even though I'm weak, I've kept every single one.
I have to quickly go to that place.
Please, if I die,
I want you to survive.
Was that his father he just heard? He is inside the room along with others… What… What are they saying? He can hear Hao and his father arguing… The letters… Will Hao keep them? The letters… He can hear his brother saying something about them…
"He loved her, father!" was what Yoh heard before all the machines stopped making noises, and the pain stopped. Since that day, we've always been together.
The deep darkness engulfs us both.
"The deep darkness takes away our happiness"
When he wakes up he can move again. His body was healthy, better than it had been for years. He can stand up on his own, and doesn`t feel weak as he walk. He looks around and sees himself in a beautiful forest, even more beautiful than the one he had described in his letters.
So he really did die. And this is where he ended up. He is better than he has ever been, yet he can`t help but be a little sad. He let all his loved ones behind. His father, Hao… They were all still there. And the girl…
He looked around and smiled. She wasn`t there. Well, at least she still had a chance. He would wait patiently, for years to come, until she finally joined him.
Till tomorrow...
At that place...
But he didn`t need to wait for long. He could run every day in that place. He could go on and on forever, without running out of breath. He would do that every day and night, enjoying what he couldn`t do while living.
And one day, while running, he saw a light. Curious he went towards it, and in front of his eyes, the light started to form a shape. It was the shape of a person. Soon the light went away, and the person who was brought by it opened her eyes…
They looked into each other`s eyes… It was… It was her… They were finally together…
And there was no fence to divide them.
See?! They ended up together! So there, a happy ending! I could have done a lot worse! They are both dead and now together! =D Yoh is not sick and Anna is not a prisoner! There is no fence between them! See, it`s happy! So please, please don`t kill me! This was the other chapter! And thanks to all who sent reviews! =DD I`m glad you liked!
Please, review again! XDD Nothing belongs to me, not even the plot.