1:

"Lice," said the deep voiced TV announcer. "Just the name sends terror into the heart of every parent, teacher, and child. Lice, those blood feeding little parasites who invade our hair…and our homes …"

It was a cold, windy, rainy day in March. The toys sat in front of the TV, watching a documentary. "There are four suborders of lice:" continued the announcer. "Rhyncophthirina, Ischnocera, Amblycera, and of course, Anoplura, more commonly known as Head Lice. Here is Anoplura up close." The TV flashed a close up of a brown insect crawling through hair.

"EWWW!" Said all the toys together.

Woody was watching intently. "I'm glad Andy doesn't have lice."

Buzz, sitting next to him, nodded. "Let's just hope he never gets it."

Jessie was on her knees peering at the screen. "You better hope he never gets it," she said. "Or we're screwed."

"Jess, don't say 'screwed.'" Woody sighed.

She turned around. "Don't you guys know what happens to toys when a kid gets lice?" They shook their heads. "Emily's Cousin Jojo had lice. Everything gets shoved into bags, including toys. For days."

There was a collective gasp. "For days?" Rex cried.

"Until the lice die."

"That's awful!" Said Potato Head.

"I DON'T WANNA BE SHOVED IN A BAG!" Rex wailed. "I'm claustrophobic!"

"Each year, lice affect thousands of people." said the TV. "It seems that no one is safe…"

"NO!" Screamed Rex, waving his arms and stomping his feet. "Did you hear that? No one is safe! I bet they won't just stop at bags! Don't you guys remember the Velveteen Rabbit? They'll throw us in the bonfire! Oh we're doomed! Doomed I say!"

Woody stood and moved over to the freaked out dinosaur. "Rex, calm down. No one is going to throw us in any fire. That was for Scarlet Fever. And besides, Andy can't have lice."

"Why not?" Asked Jessie.

"Because he showers every night and he uses shampoo. He's a very clean boy."

Buzz stood up and patted Rex on the back. "See Rex? It's ok. Lice aren't going to affect these toys! Like Woody said, Andy's hair is too clean."

"Many people think that shampooing regularly is enough to prevent lice…but they're wrong." The toys looked at the television. "In fact, lice prefer a clean scalp to lay their eggs in…"

"Uh oh," said Woody.

A second later, the front door slammed and Andy's voice carried up to the second floor. "MOMMMM!"