Things are, I think, coming to a close. Ish. Hope everyone liked it. Many thanks to Fanless for all the advice, suggestions and inspiration. Yes, inspiration-the Reg/Beti scenario is down to him.

The sun had risen, as had the Watchmen, bleary-eyed and in several cases slightly disturbed by the events of the previous evening.

Vimes had taken control.

'What we are going to do is...Nobby why are dressed in that again?'

Nobby pouted. 'Celebrating my femininity sir. Besides Reg prefers me like this, don't you, sweetheart?'

Every officer felt their brain melt. Even Reg, for whom this was news. All the other officers knew was that it had certainly been a long and lonely night...

Carrot made a spirited attempt to regain control. 'You were saying, sir?'

'Ah. Yes. We are all going to leave this building and do our best to disperse the mob.'

'Permission to say behind as a reserve force, sah!'

'No Fred. We all leave.'

'Permission to hide behind Sergeant Detritus.'

Vimes sighed. 'Granted. Beti will lead us out.'

'What?' Beti looked horrified. The expression was very democratic-it spread the horror to those who witnessed it.

Vimes was suffering. He hadn't had a cigar in hours. He was not in the mood to be tolerant.

'Then Reg can escort you out.'

Reg gibbered. 'But, we didn't, it's not, I won't, Beti has no proof, LAST NIGHT WAS COMPLETELY UNEVENTFUL,' the zombie wailed.

The Watch stared at their feet. Visit knew his suspicions were right.

'We'll all follow you, don't worry.' Carrot smiled, honestly.

Reg and Beti turned to each other.

'You and me against the world, Reg.' Beti grinned.

'Just shut up.'

Together, and followed by the rest of the Watch they threw open the doors, to face the mob.

'Where the hells are the mob?' Vimes was furious. He really wantedto hit someone, in the name of the law, of course.

Angua nodded to a plume of smoke. 'The Alchemist's Guild has exploded again.'

Vimes drew a hand over his face. 'Okay. Anyone who was supposed to be on duty today get back inside and go do your job. Fred go and clean out that damn cupboard, I didn't even realise things like that existed. Nobby please leave your Beti clothes at home, or, preferably, send them to hell. Reg you are already dead, you can only try to commit suicide, so I expect to see you here at eight AM tomorrow for your next shift. Constable Visit would you please start patrolling with Dorfl and if I see one more pamphlet in my office you will be made Nobby and Reg's chaperone. Carrot and Angua would you please run this place, until I return from seeing Vetinari. If I survive the explanation.'

Vimes could feel normality being restored as he gave the orders. He smiled grimly. 'But first I'm going to get some cigars.'

It was another crime-filled day in Ankh-Morpork.