A/N From Claw: Here's a little short angst fic just cause. Blondie didn't help on this one, because she is sleeping like I should be…

It's just a little fic about Mark's thoughts when he found out Roger has HIV, so of course his mind is a bit jumbled and mixed up.

This fic is a companion to another angst fic I did. Only that one was Roger's thoughts about Mark. Oh, and please review when your done. I didn't want to add that at the bottom cause it ruins the flow.

He listened to me say it over and over again. Again and again. A constant reminder. Of course he didn't do anything about it. I mean, why would he. He thinks he knows all.

I told Roger countless times that he was hurting himself. Sadly, I was right.

He should of just listened. If he had fucking listened. Well, no, he listened all right. He heard me everyday, it was up to him to end it. Naturally, when we hear something over and over we choose to do something about it or we choose to ignore it. He chose wrong.

Eventually I began to feel like I was an outsider, a utter stranger, watching in on his life. Almost like a movie when you keep telling the person "NO, NO, NO", but they can't hear. Or in this case, care less.

What was he even hearing? A constant death toll. He listened and I watched. that's what caused us to slowly brake away. To deteriorate from everybody, including each other.

Roger was supposed to leave his legacy. Not be one of the statistics. He was doing fine, but now he fucking blew it. He can't blame me for his problems. It isn't my fault he is going to die just because he had a fucking addiction. I told him. I warned him. So, don't kill the messenger.

Okay, clam down Mark. You can't blame him for everything. Maybe this was the way life was supposed to go. Like a plan taking place. Besides, I can't go bitching about this forever. Roger is just one of those people. Live hard, die young.

Maybe he won't die young. I mean, there are people who have lived longish lives with HIV…right?

I can't blame this all on Roger. If I had gotten him real help he could have never got it. So I guess the blame is to share. Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore. I mean, what am I going to do? Invent a time machine?

I shouldn't be so harsh on him. What happens happens. It isn't like we aren't best friends anymore. He really is more then a best friend, he's like a brother.

I Guess the only thing left is to look at the future, or at least at the moment. Roger and I will be best friends, and will always be best friends. Even if he is sick. He didn't listen to me and he got the consequence. Oh well, we have to get on with our lives and live them to the fullest. He's alive right now and that's all that really matters in the end.

It just may be a short life for him, but it sure as hell won't be a boring life.