I'm still working on The Women In His Life, but I really really really needed to write some sappy, sexy, cutesy fluff for these two. So this is some AU/alt timeline Suliet fluff - alt timeline because James and Miles are cops, AU because Juliet never went to the island and lives in LA with Rachel; any other differences are explained in the story! I'll just say that Edmund still exists in this timeline, and no one should be happy about it. :D

Rated M for language (Miles is a potty mouth) (and so am I) and also for some Suliet lovin' in later chapters. :)

Her Boyfriend Is A Cop

"Hey." said Miles, a severe and sudden blip on James' mental radar. Miles liked to greet him that way when James had his head buried in paperwork. He called it his afternoon wakeup.

"Hey." James grumbled back. He didn't look up. He was too busy furrowing his eyebrows and using his pointer fingers to search out letters on his computer's keyboard.

"You should have taken that touch-typing class." Miles said nonchalantly, as if he didn't know exactly how much it would rile him up.

"Is that so?" James murmured, not taking the bait.

"Yeah, you definitely should have taken that touch-typing class." said Miles. He sat on the edge of his partner's desk, reaching over to turn the monitor so he could get a better look at what James was typing up. "You misspelled 'suspect', by the way." he said, putting a finger print on the screen.

James sighed harshly, hitting the backspace key a few times. "You need somethin', Sally?" he asked, knowing Miles would sit there bugging him all night until he got some attention.

"Who, me?" Miles asked innocently. "Oh, I just thought you should know it's Juliet's last day."

That made James looked up from his keyboard. The furrow in his brow remained, but it changed from frustration to one of light surprise. "Burke's leavin'? Why?"

"How should I know? I didn't know she was leaving either, 'til Abbadon told me just now."

Now the brow furrow included a healthy dose of skepticism.

"Abbadon told you." said James, a statement that implied he believed the opposite. The Lieutenant wasn't exactly in the habit of sharing anything with Miles Straume.

"Okay, I happened to be standing next to Jenkins' desk when Abbadon told Jenkins."

"That sounds more like reality." said James. "And why did Abbadon feel the burning need to tell Jenkins that everyone's favorite medical examiner was gettin' the hell outta Dodge?"

"He was telling Jenkins that he should ask Juliet out before she leaves."

"Uh huh..."

"Yeah. So I thought I'd undermine the Lieutenant's authority and tell you to ask her out before Jenkins got the chance."

"I thought she didn't date cops?" James wondered, even though he found himself pushing his chair back and standing up.

"It's not that she doesn't date cops - she just doesn't date me. I'm sure she'll make an exception for a scruffy Ken doll like yourself."

"Gee, Miles, maybe I should be askin' you out."

"I do you a favor and you repay me with sarcasm. I thought we were friends?"

James smiled smugly, but his smile disappeared when he glanced down at the mountain of paperwork on his desk. He really should have taken that touch-typing class...

"Leave it." Miles told him. "Getting laid will help you finish it later."

"Who knew you were such a romantic?" James said snidely as he left the squad room. He said thanks by patting Miles hard on the shoulder as he rounded the desk.

"You're welcome!" Miles called after him.

* * *

James punched the last button on the elevator, which took him down to the basement. When the doors opened he could hear the muffled sounds of a party coming from the morgue area. He took a few strong steps in the direction of the sound, before stopping abruptly in the hallway. He turned and, in the morgue window backed by blinds and made into a useable mirror by the harsh flourescent bulbs above, made sure he looked alright. Could be worse, he thought, straightening his back and squaring his shoulders.

He wasn't the only cop in the precinct that had his eye on Juliet. She was a real cutie, and damn fun to flirt with if you had a cause of death to discuss. The smell of the morgue wasn't so bad when you had Dr. Burke to look at, especially when you were close enough to smell her perfume. They'd met for the first time on her first day as assistant medical examiner, and he'd taken a liking to her instantly. The ME's often received the same treatment as a weatherman; if the news was good, everything was fine and dandy. If an officer didn't get the result he'd been looking for, it was all their fault. She hadn't taken any guff from the mostly male cops that worked upstairs in the homicide and vice units. After seeing that, James didn't give any, and a bond of mutual respect was formed. The fact that she was drop dead gorgeous in a lab coat and safety goggles didn't hurt either.

James arrived at the morgue entrance, and like the trained detective he was, he quickly took in the details available to him at first sight. There was a cake on one of the steel gurneys, though two thirds of it was already gone, leaving only the "-ss you" and "-et" of the farewell message written in frosting. There were about twenty people in the room, split into groups of twos, threes and fours, smiling and chatting as they ate from paper plates. Finally his eyes came to rest on the only blonde in the room. She was in her lab coat as usual, and James realized he'd never seen her out of it. He watched her smile, eyes sparkling as she laughed with her friends, and he couldn't help but imagine her wearing only the lab coat...

Across the room, Juliet was listening patiently to a coworker's story when Amelia came up behind her. "Look who came to say goodbye." the older woman said suggestively, speaking quietly so only Juliet could hear her. Without looking at Amelia, Juliet turned her eyes to the door and she got a nice little shot of adrenaline when she saw who it was. Juliet and Amelia discussed Detective Ford frequently, using words like hot, yummy, and the phrase I'd like to, which was often followed by acts that might be deemed inappropriate for the workplace. The way he looked today justified each and every one of their conversations. His dark blue t-shirt fit snugly over his chest and around his biceps, accentuated by the leather holster strapped to his shoulders, and his relaxed, worn-in jeans looked sexy slouched over his heavy-duty work boots. When they made eye contact, he smiled and his dimples - the dimples - appeared. It was all Juliet could do not to bite her lip and grab the gurney next to her, since her knees turned to jelly at the sight of him.

"Today might be the day..." Amelia sang under her breath. "And if you don't ask him out, I will!"

Juliet stifled a laugh and waved shyly at James, returning his smile. He took it as an invitation to saunter over. Amelia found a way to distract the storytelling coworker, leading him away from Juliet so she and James could have a moment.

"Please, say it ain't so." James said when he got close. It made Juliet smile again.

"I'm afraid it is." she said wistfully.

"You should have said something sooner; I would have convinced you to stay."

"You stopped bringing me dead bodies, Ford. I thought the love affair was over."

"Nah, that was just the crime rate droppin' for the first time in two decades."

"Well that's all well and good for the citizens of LA county, but what am I supposed to do when there's no paperwork to catch up on?"

"If you want I can give you some of mine, I got a few weeks' worth upstairs..."

Juliet laughed. "No, thank you." she said jokingly. Her next words were sincere. "Sorry I didn't say anything, I didn't want to make that big a deal out of it. I just assumed everyone knew."

James shrugged, still smiling that sexy, confident smile of his. "I should have figured it out. I'm a detective, after all."

"That's what they keep telling me." Juliet said, reaching out to touch the badge that hung from a chain around his neck. "I still think you bought this from Toys R Us."

James got his own shot of adrenaline as Juliet's fingertips brushed his chest. She turned the badge over in her hands, feeling the weight and inspecting it's surface. It was a surprisingly bold maneuver for Juliet. They'd flirted before, but they'd never shared personal space like this. James decided in that moment that if Juliet was already taken, there was no god.

While James was daydreaming about grabbing Juliet's wrist, pulling her to him and kissing her over the nearest gurney, Juliet was imagining what it would be like to rake her fingernails over his chest, wrap her legs around him and-

"Juliet!" someone called to her from across the room. They both glanced in that direction, neither wanting to leave the conversation so soon. Juliet let the badge go, placing it back gently against his body.

"I don't wanna keep ya," said James, though it wasn't exactly true. Juliet was about to fall all over herself assuring him he could keep her as long as he wanted when he finally worked up the courage to ask her out. "I was just wondering if I could take you out to dinner sometime."

Juliet smiled immediately, and the word Yes! rang in her mind like an old Herbal Essences commercial. "I'd like that." she said, understating it so she could maintain her cool exterior.

"So would I." said James as the dimples appeared again.

* * *

Miles looked up from his own, shorter stack of paperwork when James returned to his desk, the desk that faced Miles'. He noticed right away James' step was lighter than when he'd left.

"I hate you." Miles said casually.

"Aren'tcha gonna ask how it went?" James said sarcastically as he took a seat.

"And now he's gloating." Miles muttered. He hit print and sat back in his chair. "Just promise me you'll name your first child after me? At least then I'll be able to say 'Miles has been inside Juliet'."

"You had your chance, Straume." said James, after which he gave Miles an exaggerated smile. "And I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me mine."

"Ehhh, start typing, old man. We'll see who's gloating when I'm sipping a beer at home and you're still here, hunting and pecking 'til the wee hours of the morning."

James chuckled, letting out a ridiculously happy sigh as he got back to work.

* * *

Miles always knew exactly how late James got home. They were roommates. Sure enough, Miles was lounging on the couch with the TV on, already on his second beer when James finally arrived, only far less grumpy than usual.

"Huh." Miles said with mock curiosity. "You're not on the verge of tears or a temper tantrum. Does Detective Ford finally have something to live for other than sucking the Lieutenant's cock at every staff meeting?"

"Me-ow." James taunted him, tossing his badge and holstered Glock on the kitchen counter and going straight for the Coronas in the fridge. "Do I need to buy you a scratching post?" He knew Miles wasn't really that bitter about it. Envious maybe, but he didn't know a cop who wouldn't be. Juliet was at the top of everyone's list, and considering the 'I don't date cops' policy was a common one among women at the precinct, it felt like he'd won the lottery. Miles had an obligation to give him shit for it on behalf of every other guy they worked with.

"Sooo, when's the date?" asked Miles, adopting a gossipy tone. "Where you taking her, what are you going to wearrr?"

"Tomorrow night, somewhere Italian, and I have no idea." said James, answering the questions in order. He opened his beer on the counter, catching the bottle cap in his hand and throwing it in the garbage can across the room. James then walked back to the living room, sat next to Miles and kicked off his boots so he could put his feet up on the coffee table and check out the last few minutes of the Thursday night primetime lineup.

"Should I stay out later than usual?" Miles asked, his voice back to normal.

"I don't know," said James. "You really think I'll get lucky on the first date?"

"No." Miles answered immediately. "She'll reject you. I just wanted to give your sorry ass a little boost of confidence so you don't back out entirely."

"Thanks, buddy." said James, lifting his bottle up in the air.

"Any time." said Miles, tapping his bottle against the other.

The nickname Sally was brought to you today by The Dick Van Dyke Show. hehe. I was watching 1x04, in which Rob and Laura Petrie discuss the fact that Sally can't get a date because, according to Rob, "She's too quick with the answers. Guys hate girls that make jokes about everything".

Also, I've always had this image of her sitting on Rob's desk, so there's that too. Thanks for reading. :)