Author's Note: This Non/Disney crossover fic is an entry in a youtube contest hosted by Czarownicykot, a video editor who does eerily convincing crossover work that I've become hopelessly addicted to. I can't believe it took me so long to realize that there was a community of folks who did this. Anyway, since I agree that there is a shamefully small amount of cartoon movie crossovers around here, I decided to toss in my own. And oh yes, it's SLASH. Mostly I hope you enjoy it, but if you don't...well a sick, cackling part of me hopes it just offends you. This will be a multi-chapter endeavor (I think it's fairly obvious by how it reads that this is a stage-setting chapter) that I desperately hope to finish by the contest deadline. Now, without futher ado, as I yet fear threats of being lured into the woods and held captive, here is my contribution: Where Else But Greece?

Chapter One

The winds of the dead realm Tartarus blew hot and empty around a figure entering the desert. She was beautiful, had a powerful air about her—perhaps a goddess, or else in grave danger for daring to set foot in the very birthplace of chaos. Her short golden locks fell in tight curls to her chin, her eyes honey-colored and warm, her skin olive toned and her strong feminine figure dressed in a small white robe that exposed her graceful limbs as she strode unburdened by the sand-heavy wind. After a time she paused, the sand roiling up to her knees, and gazed across the realm with a pensive sigh. A brief wave of her hand and the environment suddenly changed. Darkness swelled up and swallowed her, leaving only far off pinpoints of light and one swirling orb in the middle of the new plane.

The woman made her way to the globe that sat before her. Within was the world below; an access point through which an inhabitant of Tartarus might manipulate the world of men, or if not that then a window from which to view it. It appeared that it was acting as just that at the moment. She peered deeper into the globe through the atmospheric mists and frowned at what she saw within. A rambunctious sailor aboard his ship, one that many knew by name, and by now not merely mortals. A pair of yellow eyes opened in the blackness behind her, but she was not aware until a voice accompanied them.

"Harmonia," came a single, sinuously spoken word.

The woman jerked away with a hand on her chest, staring into the darkness from where the voice had risen and bristling in indignation. Slowly the speaking figure materialized. Pale skin and dark hair framed a sinister face that emerged from the shadows to smirk with muted aggravation at the intruder.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you how rude it is to stop in uninvited?" the dark figure pressed.

Harmonia recovered quickly, raising her chin and folding her arms. "Of all the gods and goddesses to say that, Eris, it must be the most hypocritical coming from you."

Eris laid her arms over her globe and cocked her head in mock innocence. "When have you ever known me to make a burden of myself, dear sister?"

"Whenever indeed. I can think of a certain someone's wedding who you rather spectacularly destroyed, for one."

Before Harmonia's sentence was finished Eris was already sighing dramatically and rolling her eyes. "Oh, please. Not this again. You throw one little apple of discord into the fruit bowl and suddenly you're the celestial killjoy for all of eternity."

"Yes, well it only started the Trojan War." Harmonia huffed, leaning forward. "Thetis won't be obliged to forgive you any time soon."

Eris's eyes dulled. "Is the little nymph still sore? Why doesn't she send her pathetic mortal husband to come and defend her honor, then?" she circled her globe, fingers tapping playfully at the edges. "It was all in good fun. It isn't my fault that you Olympians are all so uptight."

Harmonia huffed, shaking her head. "Oh, it wasn't in fun and you know it. You only did it because you were put off that they didn't want the world renowned maker of mischief mucking about at their ceremony. Which you managed to do anyway—which you always manage to do anyway—and which is rather the point of my coming here."

"Oh?" Eris inquired uninterestedly as she leaned back over her globe to examine her nails. "Do tell. I love a good tantrum. And no one throws a better tantrum than a deity."

Harmonia let out a breath and gestured to the globe. "Eris, what you have done is unacceptable. Stealing the Book of Peace? Conspiring to overthrow mankind? Revealing yourself to all of Syracuse, and for what? To spite one powerless mortal man? It's nonsense, Eris. You may think you've escaped all scrutiny hiding in the dregs of Tartarus, but the gods are still watching you, sister, and they are displeased. They have sent me here to warn you that should this type of conduct continue, they will be forced to—"

"Forced to what?" Eris laughed, melting away into thin air.

Harmonia blinked, looking around to try and relocate her host. The dark goddess reappeared behind her, hands on her shoulders suddenly. Harmonia jumped, glaring at Eris in irritation.

"Oh, Harmonia." Eris sighed. "Poor, silly, boring Harmonia. …You act as though you've never toyed with a mortal before."

Harmonia pulled away from her touch stonily. "Perhaps I have. But at least I don't swoop in from my perch to shamelessly cut them down to their knees at every opportunity." She moved closer to the globe, glancing back over her shoulder with a frown. "And I am not boring."

"Don't make me laugh." Eris didn't move to follow. "You make a stick in the mud look like the life of the party. I wouldn't be surprised if they sent you here just to get away from you and your nagging. …But it's not entirely your fault. Most of you are about as interesting as uncarved marble…at least our dear earthly humans are willing to liven things up a bit."

Harmonia snorted, turning back to the vision of the sailor in the globe. "Are they willing, I wonder?"

Eris's features darkened behind the other goddess's back, her body ghosting over to the other side of the globe in a single serpentine movement.

Harmonia looked up. "How long have you been watching him, Eris? Since you last parted? Is that how long you've been seething over your little defeat?"

Glowering, Eris leaned over the image of the ship with her fingers outstretched over it like claws. "Sinbad may have gotten his little book of fairytales back, but that doesn't mean he's won."

"How's that?"

Eris grinned predatorily, her fingers splaying around the ship to reveal it between them once more. "Just look at him, Harmonia."

Harmonia gave a wary glance toward the other goddess before peering into the open channel at the scene below. The sun was setting, the ship sailing towards a harbor in the distance, and the only crew member above deck was its captain. He sat with his back against the ship's mast with a faintly forlorn face. Every now and then his mastiff would whine, seeking attention, and he would half-heartedly pat its head. "What of him?"

Eris chuckled to herself. "Can't you see it? He's miserable."

"But why?" Harmonia turned back to gaze at him. "He got everything he wanted, did he not?"

"Yes, he did." Eris smiled, turning and leaning her back along the globe before tossing a look over her shoulder. "And she left him."

Harmonia looked back down at the man before her and her features softened. "And that constitutes a victory on your part?"

"No. But it is delicious irony, isn't it?" she replied merrily. "He pinned his hopes on her leaving the dull guy for a life of adventure. He just didn't think that the dull guy would end up being him. It was the sea she was in love with. The adventure. The very thing he was ready to give up in exchange for a life of peaceful…retirement."

Harmonia studied Sinbad's features sadly. In a moment when he perceived himself to be unwatched, he didn't carry himself with the haughty swagger and bluster she knew him to usually show. Instead he now appeared stiff and uncharacteristically sober. Age that he had not yet reached somehow showed on him. "I don't see where there's any room to gloat. Do you feel no remorse?"

"You think I am somehow responsible?" Eris put a hand to her chest incredulously. "Hey, all I did was use him to get to Proteus. I could have cared less about his little romance. In fact if it weren't for me he never would have met the supposed love of his life. And what is it they say? It's better to have loved and lost?"

"If his 'little romance' doesn't concern you then why do you make mention of it as if it does?" Harmonia looked up, her face still somber.

"Alright, so maybe I am just a tad vengeful." Eris slithered to Harmonia's side to peer down into the globe. "And I suppose I glean just a small sliver of satisfaction in knowing that neither of us ended up with what we wanted."

"That's cruel, Eris." Harmonia disapproved.

"Don't worry yourself, Harmonia." Eris waved a hand. "With a heart as black as his I can't see him thinking about this for more than a couple of weeks. He'll be back to the brothels in no time. Boys will be boys, after all."

Harmonia scoffed, folding her arms. "Do you believe so little of everyone? Love is grossly chaotic. I should think you would have quite enjoyed the presence of it—rejoiced, even, at a tumultuous love like theirs."

"Mm, perhaps you have a point." Eris said flippantly as she smiled down at Sinbad's unhappy countenance. "But that's all assuming I believe a man like him is truly capable of love."

Harmonia shook her head, weary of arguing. "Well you've always been a poor judge of character."

"Just how committed to that belief are you?" Eris's smile turned into a devious grin. "Enough to make things…interesting?"

"What are you talking about?" Harmonia turned suspiciously.

Eris drew closer. "A game."

The blonde goddess curled a lip. "I won't have any of your games, Eris."

Eris's grin dropped and she pulled back with a look of exasperation. "Fine, fine. Have it your way then." She leaned her chin into a palm, resting her elbow on the globe. "You certainly aren't doing anything for that buzzkill reputation of yours."

Harmonia's brow furrowed and she straightened up. "Well that's only your opinion."

"Oh, I'm sure it is." Eris dismissed.

"I'm not boring. I'm sensible. You're hardly trustworthy, and even an inbred mortal pig could see that playing your games is a bad idea." She turned to leave, about to utter a parting reminder of her warning when Eris interrupted her.

"Well, if you don't think you're my intellectual match, then…"

Harmonia stiffened, swiveling around to glare at Eris, who was examining her nails casually again. As soon as she caught Harmonia's anger she smiled sweetly.

Harmonia sighed gruffly, tightly crossing her arms over her chest and planting herself in a stance. "Alright then. I'll humor you. Suppose that I didn't know what a cheat you are. Suppose I were infinitely foolish enough to agree to some ludicrous game. What would be the terms?"

Eris rose up exuberantly, stroking the globe with a hand. "It would be simple, really. You think that Sinbad is the loving sort, and I disagree. So why don't you prove me wrong?"

"And just how would I do that?"

Eris circled Harmonia as she rubbed her chin in thought. "Make him fall in love." She looked back to the image of the ship as night began to fall.

"In love?"

"Isn't that the easiest way to make your point?

"Preposterous!" Harmonia huffed, waving her hands. "God or no, I don't have the power to force a mortal to love. Such things take…time, circumstance, you would have to—"

"Yes, and as a god you can contrive any circumstance you choose. Isn't that to beauty of it? As for time, I'll give you plenty. You'll have three months."

"Three months?" Harmonia balked. "Whoever falls in love in three months?"

"I can't give you eternity, can I? Besides, that's plenty of time considering the prospect of love at first sight."

Harmonia sighed and nodded. "And?"

Eris tapped her fingers together under her chin. "You'll have three months to make Sinbad fall in love. And it has to be with a mortal. No using your feminine wiles on him for yourself. That would just be too easy now, wouldn't it?"

"And if I succeed? …Hypothetically of course."

Eris paused. "Why, then you have the knowledge that you were right, don't you?"

Harmonia narrowed her eyes. "Sorry. I'm afraid pride just isn't good enough."

"Oh, alright…" Eris brushed away her weightless, flowing hair and released a breath. "If you succeed, I, Eris, will hereby promise never to tamper in the realm of mortals again."

"You'll what?" Harmonia was at a momentary loss for words. She masked her shock with an air of distrust. "It sounds too good to be true."

"Come now…surely you want the glory of being the one who stopped that meddling Eris from constantly trying to plunge the world into chaos. Tell me something. How effective did the others suppose your warning would be, hm? Wouldn't you show them all when you returned with the ability to boast that you'd put a stop to my antics once and for all? I'm sure that would raise your status by a few points."

Harmonia bit her inner cheek. On the one hand this was a fool's bet. Eris was far too treacherous. On the other, to be rid of Eris's pesky interferences with her mission of peace and unity was too enticing an offer to pass up. If she could be trusted, that was. "…And what if I don't succeed?"

Eris's face quickly intensified in its deviousness. "Hmm, why I hadn't even thought of that."

"Out with it. What is it you want?"

"Well, if I have to think up something on the spot…" Eris looked up. "Oh, let's say…an invite to the next little shindig you deities are throwing."

Harmonia froze. "But that's…!"

Eris grinned again. "Oh, that's right! Why Harmonia, that's your wedding, isn't it? How perfectly coincidental…"

So that was why the bleeding harpy had granted a three month timeframe. She knew all along that in such time Harmonia would be wedding Cadmus. "That's absurd! Out of the question! I would never allow you to—"

"I think it's a very reasonable offer considering the snub I got from Thetis. Wouldn't you agree?" Eris sneered. "If I win, all I'm asking for is the basic courtesy of an invite…and if you win, you want to rob me of my only pastime in this existence altogether. Do you really think the scales are balanced against you on this one?"

Harmonia thought for a long time, tapping her nails against her arm worriedly. It was true. She had much less to lose. Although a ruined wedding didn't sound much better to her than dealing with Eris's errant behavior in the future. Still, it was undeniable that putting a stop to it once and for all would bode well for her in terms of esteem. Poor hapless mortals would likely fare better as well. Surely her husband-to-be would agree…wouldn't he? She slackened her arms and eyed the other goddess. "There's just one problem with your rules, Eris."

"Oh?"

Harmonia's eyes grazed Sinbad's ship. "How exactly do I prove that he's in love? I suspect you don't believe the man's words, so I'm well aware that making him say it wouldn't be enough for you."

Eris's eyes lidded and she sighed, cocking her head. "Alright, alright. Then let's agree on what can be called proof, shall we?" she leaned down, twirling her finger into the mists above the ship. "Clearly it isn't words, as we've established. And perhaps not certain…carnal actions." Eris winked.

Harmonia wrinkled her nose in disdain. "Certainly not."

"So then it can only be one thing."

"And what one thing is that?"

"A show of ultimate personal sacrifice, of course." Eris shrugged. "An act that proves he's willing to lose something important to him in order to please the one he loves…proof that this person, whoever they are, means more to him than any other thing in his world."

"That's strangely poetic coming from a renowned sadist." Harmonia muttered.

"I've spent several lifetimes over watching silly little mortals love. I'd have to be an idiot not to have picked up a convincing line or two." Eris smiled evilly. "So then. Do we have a deal?"

Harmonia looked down as Eris stretched out a hand. "Your word that you'll hold to your end of the bargain?"

"Of course." Eris crossed her heart, still grinning.

Harmonia paused to gather her thoughts. Surely Eris had tricks up her sleeve. Loopholes to exploit, cheats to partake in, tricks to perform. It was only a matter, then, of getting just as dirty. Harmonia crossed her heart as well and lay her hand in Eris's, shaking once to seal the deal. "Very well then. Three months."

Eris leered competitively. "Three months it is."