From the Diary of Xander...
Kalena is improving every day. Culromen was a wise choice as her Watcher. He is just like Giles. He is just a little bit more pompous though. Maybe its cos he still doesn't like or trust me. But he knows there's always Kalena there to stake me if I slip back to what I could be. So far, I have held my desires in check. But I don't know for how much longer. I know I can't stay here much longer. I feel I am needed elsewhere. I long to go home, but I also know I never can. How could I go back to Sunnydale as not only a Vampire, but the first Vampire? That life is over. I know that, just have trouble accepting it.
I miss Sunnydale, even with all its Vampires, Demons and the Hellmouth. I miss my friends. Willow's sweet smile, Buffy's witty comebacks, Giles and his lectures, even Cordy's sarcastic abuse. Its not the same here. Its not my home. But where is? I have become the very thing I spent years mocking. A Vampire with a soul. The irony doesn't escape me.
I decided to leave Lothlorien and return to my home in the woods around it. I am no longer needed there and my presence, though slowly becoming accepted, is still hard for most of the Elves. There is no way I can ever undo what has been done nor make up to them what has happened. Its best I return to the woods and live what life I have, there.
Gandalf and Galadriel understood this and let me go in peace. The Elven Queen finally let her anger towards me go and we came to a uneasy acceptance of what had passed. Before I left, I spent many hours in her company explaining the role of Slayer, Watcher and trying to educate her on what it means. It will now be up to Culromen and Kalena to protect Middle Earth and all its inhabitants from the Vampires and whatever else might now be attracted here by the evil eminating from them all. But at least Sauron is gone and the Ring has been destroyed. One less thing for them to worry about.
Its not so bad living back here in my lovely little cave. Its not unlike my room back at home, except for being without all the mod-cons like my stereo and T.V. Caves are actually a lot cosier than you would think. Just ask any bear.
Gandalf visits me a lot, just as he had before I went back to Lothlorien. He has been helping me writing down all I know and have learnt about Middle Earth and the new Demons that have been turning up here. The Slayer, Kalena, and Culromen will certainly have their hands full. I think it must be worse for them to battle the Vampires and Demons than it is for Buffy and Giles. At least Buffy has centuries of acquired knowledge behind her thanks to Giles' books and the Watchers Council.
With Gandalf's help, I have been writing things down. Wow...Xander the author. My teachers would be so surprised. They all thought I'd amount to nothing. Not that I care what they think anyway. What does it matter now anyway. Even if I someday get back to Sunnydale, I can never go back to my life as it was. Too much has changed. I've changed. For one thing...I'm a Vampire. I will never age beyond what I am now. My mind boggles at all the implications. I'd have to survive for centuries, maybe even longer to even get back to where my life was. And even if I did someday get back, I'm still a Vampire. Ok, so the sunlight thing doesn't apply to me, big plus, but I still hunger for blood, still feel the urges and the pull of my dark side. That will never leave me. Galadriel cursed me well. She knew I would be in constant hell trying to control myself and trying to fight that side of me. I can't really blame her, even though now we have put the past behind us. She watches each day as her world is slowly destroyed.
Gandalf is still my one companion, my one friend. He keeps me informed of the progress against the Vampires. Kalena is doing well. Culromen has exceeded all my hopes. He has trained her well, and continues to be a guidance to her. Its good that he is able to use his hatred for Vampires in a way that helps without he himself being in danger. I really did like the guy and regret what happened to Goramarthien. If I could turn back time...
But I can't so I continue to do my best to share what I know with them so they can battle these monsters with as little advantage as I can give them. I just hope it helps.
Time moves so differently here. I no longer try to keep track of days, months or even years. I have written many books and diaries in my solitude. It keeps me busy. Everything I remember from my time with Giles when I would help him research and all the things I am learning from this new life I have. Who better than a Vampire to write a 'How to' book for a Slayer? I have obviously changed a few things. I owe it to the peoples left here in Middle Earth to keep them and their existance safe from outside knowledge. After all, Elves and such are creatures of myth and legend, not something we live with everyday. I destroyed enough of their world. I won't destroy what is remaining.
I hear that they have formed a Watchers Council...the first one. I only hope it is better than the one Buffy and Giles work with. Well it has to be. It is a whole new thing for them. A whole new thing for this world. The first Watchers Council. They get to make all the rules, decide how the Slayer will act and what to do in situations. It must be incredible to have a blank page on which to start something which will effect the world for generations to come. I envy them.
I am so sick of time. It just drags on and on. I have seen Slayers come and seen Slayers go. Kalena's loss was hard on everyone, especially Culromen. He blamed himself for a long time, but he had another Slayer to train. Serena. She, like Kalena, learned quickly and was a formidable Slayer. After Serena came Melinka, then Adrienne, then Finnola...I lost track soon after. All so young, and all thrown in at the deep end to fight and slay with Culromen and the Watchers Council behind her.
I continue to write. Prophesies, descriptions of creatures I see, just anything I think will be of use to a Slayer. I was thinking more about Buffy. Some day she would learn from these books. The irony made me laugh. All the times I mocked Giles and his books, and I was the one who wrote them. Life is a funny thing when you think about it.
All this happened because of a ring. Just a scrap of gold. No wonder wedding rings always gave me the wiggins.
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Pretty intense words.
I enjoy listening to Gandalf talking about things that happened so long ago that it spins my mind. I used to think that the Titanic sinking was a long time ago. Not anymore. The story of the Ring is fascinating and deserves to be written down. I know most would want to forget that, but its part of their history. Gandalf fears the book might fall into the wrong hands, but I trust the Elves to look after it.
More and more I have felt that my time here is coming to an end. There is nothing keeping me here except time. Too much time. Immortality sure isn't all its cracked up to be. There is nothing for me to do. I can't help anyone by staying. I have given thought to exploring more of Middle Earth, but my 'special condition' would have me at a disadvantage. Gandalf had an idea which I am considering. He suggested sleeping.
Sounds silly I admit. But what he meant was Galadriel would place a spell on me allowing me to sleep until I was needed. It makes a weird kind of sense. I'm certainly not needed here. Maybe one day I'll see everyone again, but for now, I want to sleep.
Galadriel knows a good spot not far from Mount Doom. Again the irony doesn't escape me. Mt Doom is where I became a Vampire, and I am returning to it to hide from myself for years, decades, maybe even centuries. I've said all my goodbyes and have given all my books and diaries to the Watchers Council. I've decided to keep this one with me. It has the true prophecy about the Ring in it.
'In time of dark trust, the saviour will come from the sunny dale to be your protector against the evil ones.'
I just hope Giles picks it up in time before all this happens again. Faith was the Saviour, not me. Maybe if he sees this in time, he'll stop my return and this Vampire threat will never happen. Time loops confuse the hell out of me. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.
It blows my mind that I will have to do this all over again. How will I ever live in Sunnydale as a Vampire? I grew up there with Willow and we went through so much together. How will it happen now? More to wait and see, I guess.
Sleep time now. I can't wait to see what the world is like when I awaken.
Galadriel closed the lid of the crypt that they had secretly been building for Xander. She had been waiting for this for a long time now. She had forgiven him for killing her Belyndra, but not as fully as he had hoped. She still longed for revenge but with Gandalf as his friend and protector, it had been impossible. She knew he would be safe from her vengence if he had chosen to stay. She was just very glad he hadn't.
"Goodbye Xander," she whispered before she began her next curse for him.
Sleep demon father
in eternal torment
until the day
one of yours with a soul
comes home to you
She smiled as she turned and started her journey back to Lothlorien. Another Vampire with a soul? Like that would ever happen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ End of Part Two~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kalena is improving every day. Culromen was a wise choice as her Watcher. He is just like Giles. He is just a little bit more pompous though. Maybe its cos he still doesn't like or trust me. But he knows there's always Kalena there to stake me if I slip back to what I could be. So far, I have held my desires in check. But I don't know for how much longer. I know I can't stay here much longer. I feel I am needed elsewhere. I long to go home, but I also know I never can. How could I go back to Sunnydale as not only a Vampire, but the first Vampire? That life is over. I know that, just have trouble accepting it.
I miss Sunnydale, even with all its Vampires, Demons and the Hellmouth. I miss my friends. Willow's sweet smile, Buffy's witty comebacks, Giles and his lectures, even Cordy's sarcastic abuse. Its not the same here. Its not my home. But where is? I have become the very thing I spent years mocking. A Vampire with a soul. The irony doesn't escape me.
I decided to leave Lothlorien and return to my home in the woods around it. I am no longer needed there and my presence, though slowly becoming accepted, is still hard for most of the Elves. There is no way I can ever undo what has been done nor make up to them what has happened. Its best I return to the woods and live what life I have, there.
Gandalf and Galadriel understood this and let me go in peace. The Elven Queen finally let her anger towards me go and we came to a uneasy acceptance of what had passed. Before I left, I spent many hours in her company explaining the role of Slayer, Watcher and trying to educate her on what it means. It will now be up to Culromen and Kalena to protect Middle Earth and all its inhabitants from the Vampires and whatever else might now be attracted here by the evil eminating from them all. But at least Sauron is gone and the Ring has been destroyed. One less thing for them to worry about.
Its not so bad living back here in my lovely little cave. Its not unlike my room back at home, except for being without all the mod-cons like my stereo and T.V. Caves are actually a lot cosier than you would think. Just ask any bear.
Gandalf visits me a lot, just as he had before I went back to Lothlorien. He has been helping me writing down all I know and have learnt about Middle Earth and the new Demons that have been turning up here. The Slayer, Kalena, and Culromen will certainly have their hands full. I think it must be worse for them to battle the Vampires and Demons than it is for Buffy and Giles. At least Buffy has centuries of acquired knowledge behind her thanks to Giles' books and the Watchers Council.
With Gandalf's help, I have been writing things down. Wow...Xander the author. My teachers would be so surprised. They all thought I'd amount to nothing. Not that I care what they think anyway. What does it matter now anyway. Even if I someday get back to Sunnydale, I can never go back to my life as it was. Too much has changed. I've changed. For one thing...I'm a Vampire. I will never age beyond what I am now. My mind boggles at all the implications. I'd have to survive for centuries, maybe even longer to even get back to where my life was. And even if I did someday get back, I'm still a Vampire. Ok, so the sunlight thing doesn't apply to me, big plus, but I still hunger for blood, still feel the urges and the pull of my dark side. That will never leave me. Galadriel cursed me well. She knew I would be in constant hell trying to control myself and trying to fight that side of me. I can't really blame her, even though now we have put the past behind us. She watches each day as her world is slowly destroyed.
Gandalf is still my one companion, my one friend. He keeps me informed of the progress against the Vampires. Kalena is doing well. Culromen has exceeded all my hopes. He has trained her well, and continues to be a guidance to her. Its good that he is able to use his hatred for Vampires in a way that helps without he himself being in danger. I really did like the guy and regret what happened to Goramarthien. If I could turn back time...
But I can't so I continue to do my best to share what I know with them so they can battle these monsters with as little advantage as I can give them. I just hope it helps.
Time moves so differently here. I no longer try to keep track of days, months or even years. I have written many books and diaries in my solitude. It keeps me busy. Everything I remember from my time with Giles when I would help him research and all the things I am learning from this new life I have. Who better than a Vampire to write a 'How to' book for a Slayer? I have obviously changed a few things. I owe it to the peoples left here in Middle Earth to keep them and their existance safe from outside knowledge. After all, Elves and such are creatures of myth and legend, not something we live with everyday. I destroyed enough of their world. I won't destroy what is remaining.
I hear that they have formed a Watchers Council...the first one. I only hope it is better than the one Buffy and Giles work with. Well it has to be. It is a whole new thing for them. A whole new thing for this world. The first Watchers Council. They get to make all the rules, decide how the Slayer will act and what to do in situations. It must be incredible to have a blank page on which to start something which will effect the world for generations to come. I envy them.
I am so sick of time. It just drags on and on. I have seen Slayers come and seen Slayers go. Kalena's loss was hard on everyone, especially Culromen. He blamed himself for a long time, but he had another Slayer to train. Serena. She, like Kalena, learned quickly and was a formidable Slayer. After Serena came Melinka, then Adrienne, then Finnola...I lost track soon after. All so young, and all thrown in at the deep end to fight and slay with Culromen and the Watchers Council behind her.
I continue to write. Prophesies, descriptions of creatures I see, just anything I think will be of use to a Slayer. I was thinking more about Buffy. Some day she would learn from these books. The irony made me laugh. All the times I mocked Giles and his books, and I was the one who wrote them. Life is a funny thing when you think about it.
All this happened because of a ring. Just a scrap of gold. No wonder wedding rings always gave me the wiggins.
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Pretty intense words.
I enjoy listening to Gandalf talking about things that happened so long ago that it spins my mind. I used to think that the Titanic sinking was a long time ago. Not anymore. The story of the Ring is fascinating and deserves to be written down. I know most would want to forget that, but its part of their history. Gandalf fears the book might fall into the wrong hands, but I trust the Elves to look after it.
More and more I have felt that my time here is coming to an end. There is nothing keeping me here except time. Too much time. Immortality sure isn't all its cracked up to be. There is nothing for me to do. I can't help anyone by staying. I have given thought to exploring more of Middle Earth, but my 'special condition' would have me at a disadvantage. Gandalf had an idea which I am considering. He suggested sleeping.
Sounds silly I admit. But what he meant was Galadriel would place a spell on me allowing me to sleep until I was needed. It makes a weird kind of sense. I'm certainly not needed here. Maybe one day I'll see everyone again, but for now, I want to sleep.
Galadriel knows a good spot not far from Mount Doom. Again the irony doesn't escape me. Mt Doom is where I became a Vampire, and I am returning to it to hide from myself for years, decades, maybe even centuries. I've said all my goodbyes and have given all my books and diaries to the Watchers Council. I've decided to keep this one with me. It has the true prophecy about the Ring in it.
'In time of dark trust, the saviour will come from the sunny dale to be your protector against the evil ones.'
I just hope Giles picks it up in time before all this happens again. Faith was the Saviour, not me. Maybe if he sees this in time, he'll stop my return and this Vampire threat will never happen. Time loops confuse the hell out of me. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.
It blows my mind that I will have to do this all over again. How will I ever live in Sunnydale as a Vampire? I grew up there with Willow and we went through so much together. How will it happen now? More to wait and see, I guess.
Sleep time now. I can't wait to see what the world is like when I awaken.
Galadriel closed the lid of the crypt that they had secretly been building for Xander. She had been waiting for this for a long time now. She had forgiven him for killing her Belyndra, but not as fully as he had hoped. She still longed for revenge but with Gandalf as his friend and protector, it had been impossible. She knew he would be safe from her vengence if he had chosen to stay. She was just very glad he hadn't.
"Goodbye Xander," she whispered before she began her next curse for him.
Sleep demon father
in eternal torment
until the day
one of yours with a soul
comes home to you
She smiled as she turned and started her journey back to Lothlorien. Another Vampire with a soul? Like that would ever happen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ End of Part Two~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~