Fandom: Transformers G1
Pairing: Prowl/Noitefel
Rating: PG
Codes: Slash
Summary: A look at Pre-Programmed Tactician behavioral patterns and courtship rituals as seen thorough the optics of a wildlife narrator. Seriously. Don't ask.

Notes: Vaguely covers the events in Wanderer's Home arc 2 ch 32 and goes from there. May or may not hold true to the final events of the main series in arc 3+. Can stand alone just fine, most likely.

Those who know my work know that I write romance. I write smut. I write torture. I write angst. I do NOT write humor. And yet here it is. Fear it.

The Wild Tactician:

Meeting Smúrthacht and Kapitän

Notice the undomesticated Pre-Programmed Tactician in his native habitat.

Despite the isolated and desolate conditions this pride finds itself in, he takes an unconscious pride in his appearance. He has chosen a Datsun Fairlady 280ZX as his alternate mode for local conditions, a look that is strongly associated with law enforcement by the native life. The crisp lines between black and white, the flawless armor polished to a high gloss and decorated with markings of local law enforcement. Despite the bland base coloration, he is the most ornately decorated of the entire pride. It is a deeply ingrained feature of his kind. They are leaders without charisma; if they did not look to be stronger and fitter than most, none would take them seriously.

It is known, but it is never spoken of within the pride, for all fear his wrath as the keeper of laws and dealer of punishments.

Only the Prime, the absolute leader of all Autobot prides, can feel immune to the law-keeper's wrath, but even he knows not to push his second in command too far. For when a Pre-Programmed Tactician of rank feels his purpose is too threatened, he can snap in a uniquely self-destructive way.

Watch as he makes the rounds of his pride. He holds himself aloof, much to the annoyance to all under his care, but even the most irritable -- the twin Lamborghini brothers of gold and red in this small, isolated pride dubbed the Ark -- understand instinctively that he could not protect them as well as he does if he were closer to them. So they taunt and tease him, pursue him for his attentions and the status of being mate to the ruling Tactician, but none, not even the wily Intel Chief, truly expect him to respond positively. It is simply the nature of his kind.

We have named him Smúrthacht, Prowl in Gaelic, for his talent at moving stealthily without sneaking about.

Ah, this is a truly rare opportunity. The joining of two prides, each with a ruling Pre-Programmed Tactician. While this joining of prides seems to be voluntary, it is no sure thing, for the Pre-Programmed Tactician is a very possessive creature when it comes to their place in the pride and these two are of equal rank both within their respective prides and under the Prime.

This new one is most unusual. His markings are all but absent and his coloration is a matte finish of the same dusty rose color as his pride. It is the rarest of the breed; a Guard. We have named this one Kapitän, or Master in German, for his leadership of the Guard pride.

Ah, this is the critical moment. They have spotted each other.

The larger one, Kapitän, is posturing submissively and making appeasing sounds to the resident as he allows Smúrthacht the dominant role of making the approach. Both have their sensor-wings rigidly upright in tension at the meeting, no matter how civil this may look. While much of the subtle meanings of sensor-wing positioning have yet to be deciphered, it is known that the higher they are held the more aggressive the tactician is being in asserting his rank.

Right now Smúrthacht's are as flared out and high as physically possible, asserting both his intention to maintain his dominant rank and to make himself look more imposing. Kapitän's facing of his opponent and the rigid, upright stance of his sensor-wings only a fraction of an inch below the level of Smúrthacht's is submission without looking weak to his own pride or the new one.

It is unlikely that anyone but these two can even understand the subtleties of their posturing.

Just as quickly as it began, the pair nod, their relative rank apparently sorted out, and go about their duties as if there had been no conflict.

Not so with the pride's dominant warriors, who are sizing each other up now. The violence of this breed with each other is exceeded only by the violence they display towards Decepticon intruders.