100 themes- RemusxSirius

1: Introduction

"Hi, my name is Sirius Black, what's yours?"

"Remus Lupin."

"Sounds like Loopy."

2: Love

Sirius Black did not know what love truly was, oh sure, he had heard it said many times, but had never felt it himself. Not before Remus came, no, when Remus came, Sirius Black knew what love felt like for the first time.

3: Light

There was a darkness within him, a darkness that everyday threatened to overtake him, a darkness that sometimes he could not fight all by himself. But he didn't need to fight alone, because he had Remus, and Remus was like a light in the dark, and he chased away all of the demons.

4: Dark

Night was a time of great peace for Remus; it was when he could contemplate the actions of the day. He could stand and look at the stars for an eternity and never grow bored, to him the darkness was a companion.

5: Seek

Sirius didn't know what he was looking for in Remus, didn't know what he was seeking. But he knew that every single time he looked at Remus he fell in love once again, with the tawny hair, the amber eyes, the rosy lips, Sirius Black sought love. Sirius Black sought companionship. Sirius Black sought to feel.

6: Break

Sometimes, they would stand together in silence and not say a single thing, only holding hands, and Sirius would wonder why Remus said nothing, but he would realize, that Remus might need the silence, that beneath the layers of protection Remus had built, his heart was actually broken.

7: Heaven

Remus didn't think he'd ever go to heaven, monsters like him did not deserve such a thing, but as he would embrace Sirius, as they would make love so passionately, Remus would believe just for a moment, that even he could taste a bit of heaven.

8: Innocence

Sirius Black was not innocent, he was absolutely guilty, with that puppy dog look, those sexy pouting lips, the way he would move his body, trying to drive Remus insane, it was anything but innocent.

9: Hidden

Remus was afraid to let his feelings show, he was afraid he'd be broken, afraid that he'd be hated. So he kept his feelings and his heart locked tightly away, hidden deep inside.

10: Season

"Remus! Heads up!"

"Sirius? What?" The sound was muffled as Remus' mouth, nose, and eyes were plastered with cold, white, wetness. He scrambled to get the stuff off of his face, spluttering and shivering, teeth clattering together, even as Sirius rolled about laughing.

11: Memory

They shared many things, their classes, their bed, their heart and soul, but most importantly they shared memories. Each and every one full of laughter and absolute happiness.

12: Insanity

They would stare sometimes, point other times, they'd laugh or they'd whisper, and he never really knew why. But he figured out later, when he saw the ruins of the house of his friends, he knew why, the insanity had finally broken loose.

13: Misfortune

"Oh no!" He wailed, staring in horror at his essay,

"What's the matter?"

"I spilt pumpkin juice on my potion's essay!"

"Aw, let me kiss it better!"

"No, Sirius, don't touch me right now!"

14: Smile

Sirius didn't really smile, normally he smirked, sometimes he'd sneer, and sometimes he'd just grin outright. But when he looked at Remus, Sirius would smile.

15: Rot

Sirius didn't let himself rot in prison, even though the people wanted him to, he didn't let his hopes rot, or his dreams rot, and he didn't let his mind rot.

16: Music

Remus Lupin liked music, he liked to listen to music, he liked it because it gave him something to hear, and to think about. He liked to listen to music because it gave him spirit to keep moving through the day.

17: Blood

Blood was not something that was unusual when it came to the marauders, pranks could get vicious, and so could revenge. But as they sat together, trying to decide on a prank, and James looked up to try and catch his Lily's eye, chaos started.

"OH MY GOD LILY YOU'RE BLEEDING!" James shouted, Remus looked and was shocked, blood on the back of her trousers? That couldn't be good.

"Ew, you're bleeding from your arse?!" Sirius cried in shock, she looked at the gaping boys, face red, before punching them all, throwing a nasty tickling hex their way as she spun and stormed off in a huff.

18: Under

Under his smile he was crying, under his laugh he was sobbing, under his skin he was breaking, why couldn't anybody see?

19: Black

Remus didn't know how it was possible to love that name; he loved everything that word contained, the hidden anger, the threatening insanity, the darkness in the tortured heart.

20: Fortitude

"Sirius…. What is that?" Remus asked slowly, gazing at the pile of sheets and pillows strung across his and James' bed.

"A fort!" Sirius cried from somewhere in the mass of bed clothing, Remus felt his eye twitch, and gave a sigh, turning and heading out the door,

"Whatever, I don't care right now."

21: Impossible

"Remus, I… I don't know how to tell you…" Remus looked up worriedly, setting his book down, sipping his hot chocolate as he nodded for the boy to go on,

"Remus, I…. I'm pregnant…" Remus spit out his chocolate and began choking, coughing viciously, tears streaming down his face, Sirius' gaze was thoughtful,

"Sirius, that's impossible!"

"It only takes one time!"

"YOU'RE A MAN!"

"Oh, yeah, you're right…. Sorry, false call then…" Sirius cackled as he skipped up the stairs, leaving Remus to stare at the wall in shock.

22: Mother

"It is said a man always takes a mate that looks like his mother!" Sirius said happily, bouncing next to James, Remus turned to his boyfriend with a sickeningly sweet smile,

"Are you insinuating that I look like your mother, Padfoot?" The boy gulped, and chuckled nervously,

"Course not, Remus honey!" He said hurriedly, Remus smirked,

"Good boy."

23: cut

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Why are you screaming Sirius?!" Remus shouted, glaring at his boyfriend,

"Your hair!"

"Yeah? What about it?" Remus asked, touching his head self-consciously, fingers tapping the short tawny strands, Sirius put a hand over his heart, widening his eyes dramatically,

"You cut it short!" And with that he fell with a theatrical cry, toppling sideways onto Peter's bed. Remus merely rolled his eyes and went back to his reading.

24: No time

It takes time to build friendships, to love, to trust, to respect. It took them years to become friends, to trust, to love, to respect. But it only took moments to destroy each other's hearts. It took no time at all.

25: Lurking

The shadows were always there, waiting for him to stumble, waiting for him to fall, stalking, lurking, watching.

26: Tears

He didn't know why he was like this, didn't know why he was so sensitive, he didn't know why Sirius' words hurt so bloody damn much. All Remus knew was that the tears just wouldn't stop.

27: Foreign

"And he will be joining us for the rest of the year, please give him a warm welcome, Kevin Rush!"

"Oh, an exchange student. What fun." Remus said happily, clapping politely as he gazed at the handsome teen,

"Grrrrrrrrrrr."

"Sirius…. Did you just growl?" James asked hesitantly, Sirius growled once again as reply, "Why are you growling?" James questioned,

"Because that prick is stealing my boyfriend!" Sirius snarled, jerking a blushing Remus into a possessive embrace, James fell silent and blinked. Oh, that made sense.

28: Sorrow

Black, the whole hall was draped in it, as wails echoed through the stillness. The despair was nearly unbearable,

"The potters will not be forgotten, let them be remembered forevermore, within these halls." Dumbledore stated solemnly, his deep voice of little comfort, and the wails grew in volume and the sorrow grew unbearably.

29: Enemy

When did it become like this?

"TRAITOR!"
Why does it have to be this way?

"HOW DARE YOU COME BACK AFTER YOU BETRAYED THEM? BETRAYED ME?!"

Why did you do it?

"Get out, Black, now."

Please don't leave me alone.

30: Rain

"Ah! It started to rain!" Sirius exclaimed, and skipped out from under their shelter, and spread his arms wide, letting the rain soak into his skin, into his hair, into his clothes.

31: Flower

"What's that smell?" Remus questioned, Sirius chuckled, and then held out a wrist for the werewolf to sniff, Remus pulled back, wrinkling his nose slightly,

"Perfume?" He inquired, Sirius grinned

"Yup. You said you like people who smell nice!"

"Yes, but of flowers?"

32: Night

Night is the only time that Sirius and Remus could tell each other how much they loved each other. Night was the only time they could lay for hours on end in each other's arms, kiss passionately, and make love with no interruptions. Night was when they could be lovers and not give a damn about what others wanted.

33: expectations

Remus had expectations. He expected Sirius to respect him, he expected Sirius to be kind, he expected many things. Did he expect Sirius to suddenly molest him in the middle of the corridor, between classes? Certainly not.

34: The stars

They were silent, their shoulders touching, their breath puffing out and freezing in pearly white clouds on the chill November air. Burgundy and golden striped scarves were wrapped securely around their necks, warm crimson gloves covered their hands, and despite the chill air they gazed at the stars, and made secret wishes.

35: Take my hand

"Sirius!" The boy ignored the call; instead he continued to hum, skipping down the hall, hand in hand with Remus. "SIRIUS!" Remus said firmly, and put his foot down, making the other boy stumble slightly, Sirius turned back with a pout,

"Just take my hand, and I won't ever let you fall or get lost." Sirius said softly, and Remus blinked, before obediently following.

36: Precious

Every moment with Sirius was precious, every kiss, every touch, every hug, every night, every day, every second.

37: Eyes

Sirius' eyes were like frozen pools of ice. They glistened and glimmered and Remus could never guess the depth, was it only a few inches? Or were they fathomless? Those burning orbs were pools of molten silver, and Remus was drowning in them.

38: Abandoned

Silence, stillness, cold. The fear, was cloying, the pain, so overpowering. Twelve years of torture, twelve years since he was abandoned.

39: Dreams

Sometimes Remus did not want to wake up, because his dreams were so much better than his reality.

40: Freaky

Sometimes the things Sirius said could get a bit freaky.

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to fly?" He inquired, unaware of the gazes locking on him,

"Well, that's what a broom is for." James stated smartly,

"No, no, without a broom, without anything, to just, step up and…." He put his foot upon the ledge and levered himself up, arms spreading out to either side of him, tilting his head back he laughed,

"SIRIUS!" Three voices bellowed, before a strong pair of arms around his waist jerked him backwards, into a strong chest, tumbling him to a stony ground.

"You suicidal prick!"

41: Teamwork

Teamwork, that was the whole point of the assignment. They were supposed to be searching the school for their rampant Snuffler. So, why were they snogging in a lavatory?

42: Still

"Hold still!"

"It bloody hurts!"

"Stop being a girl, Sirius!"

"I said it bloody HURTS!"

"Ow! You didn't have to smack me you prick!"

"It hurts Moony!"

"IT'S A SPLINTER DAMNIT!"

43: Death

Sirius wasn't afraid to die, he really wasn't, but he was terrified of seeing his friends die, of seeing Remus die.

44: Path

Remus found a path, and it led him right to the center of Sirius' heart.

45: Illusion

Sometimes Remus felt like Sirius was in his arms; sometimes Remus felt like Sirius was home, safe, sometimes Remus felt like they were once again making sweet love. But it was all just an illusion, and deep down he despaired, knowing Sirius was never getting out of Azkaban.

46: Family

Sirius hated his family, hated spending any amount of time with them. His mother's vile words tainted him; his whole family tainted him, made him insane. But Remus was there, Sirius would stay sane for Remus, it was always for Remus.

47: Creation

Ink stained his hands, splotched on his clothes, but the words on the paper were perfect. They flowed and danced, but they cried, they wept bitterly and cried alone, but they were a beautiful creation. They were his soul, everything that he felt, everything he couldn't understand, bled out on paper, bleeding ink into words.

48: Childhood

"Did you have a happy childhood?"

"What?" Remus blinked, looking at Sirius,

"Did you laugh a lot?"

"I…. Why are you asking?"

"Just answer."

"I guess I did, why?"

"No reason, love you Remus."

49: Hate

He didn't know how it was possible to hate the person you loved. He hated Sirius, despised him for being a self-centered fool, a bigoted git, a prick. But even as Remus sat on the hospital bed, weeping as he bled, from his body, from his heart, he knew he'd never stop loving.

50: Formal

"Sirius, why are you in a tuxedo?"

"We have a date, now put on the nice outfit."

"Sirius, I know how to put trousers on…."

"Sorry…."

"This place is so formal!" Remus said in shock, the restaurant was extravagant, the food and wine exquisite. Sirius stood abruptly, moving to stand before Remus, before going down on one knee, pulling out a black velvet box, he flipped it open.

"Will you marry me, Remus john Lupin?"

51: Sport

Sirius loved to play quidditch, in his opinion it was the best sport in the world, even better than the games muggles played.
Remus loved to watch Sirius play quidditch, in Remus' opinion it was the best show ever, even better than watching James fly into the goal post.

52: Deep in thought

"…. Ahhhh!" Sirius screamed, pointing, and then scowled,

"Remus! Your head is on fire!!!!" Sirius shouted, waving his arms frantically, huffing,

"Remus! I'm dying!!! Bleggh!" Sirius fell over dramatically, peeking one eye open, he sat up and huffed, scowling as he crossed his arms, fine, if he was going to be ignored by Remus, then fine!

53: Secret

Amber eyes wept silently, the cold shower water cascaded over his body, his hair plastering his neck and cheeks, the lycanthrope threw back his head, moaning quietly as possible, images of black hair and quick silver eyes flashing through his mind. Images of Sirius, Sirius' laugh, Sirius' smile, Sirius' frown, Sirius' tears, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius. Yeah, Remus Lupin had a secret, and he wasn't going to tell anyone.

54: Tower

"I don't get it, what's that?"

"Aquila."

"No, that's that one, what's THAT one?"

"Lyra."

"Other one…"

"Why did you bring me onto the astronomy tower to ask me?!"

"Cuz I wanted to be closer to the stars! I wanted to be closer to heaven, with you!"

"…"

"That one?"

"Delphinus."

55: twisted

Sirius Black had a twisted mind and he knew it.

Sirius Black had a twisted life and he knew it.

Sirius Black had a twisted heart, and Remus knew it.

56: Danger

There was always danger, Remus knew this, there was always the threat of death and torture. There was always danger, even when he lay in bed. There was the danger that his heart would be broken.

57: Sacrifice

Sirius didn't like responsibility, didn't like being quiet. Sirius didn't like sitting down for a long time, he didn't like to study or read or write or do homework. But he would sacrifice himself, and sit down for long hours on the couch with Remus, and hold him.

58: Brotherhood

He loved them like brothers, really did, truly, honestly, he swore to the brotherhood of the marauders. But this, this was just going TOO FAR.

"WHY ARE YOU SHAGGING ON MY BED?!"

59: No way out

He fell in love, he fell hard, and there was no way out.

60: Rejection

"I'm not gay."

"Yes you are."

"Nope, not anymore."

"Sirius, stop being a prick."

"Really Remus, it's sullying my reputation."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"Yes."

"Damnit!"

61: Smile

He told him to smile, but all he could do was begin to cry, thinking over and over, wondering, why it turned out like this.

62: Destination

"And we're going up the stairs! Up the stairy stairs!" Sirius sang, skipping merrily, Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose,

"Sirius! STOP SINGING!" James bellowed, holding his hand to his head, Sirius just stuck his tongue out and continued to sing, voice rising in volume, "And now we're going down, down, down down!"

"Slap him please." James begged Remus. He just shook his head, because they were already at the Great Hall, and not even SIRIUS was dumb enough to sing in the middle of lunch, right?

63: Do not disturb

Quills scratched against parchment, voices sighed, students groaned, ink splattered, nobody spoke, nobody moved. Until,

"REMUS!" Winces ran around every face in the room, as the boy in question turned slowly, his eyes fiery,

"Go away Sirius!"

"But I'm bored!"

"Get out of the library!"

64: Spring

Sniffling, coughing, sneezing, and groaning. Remus hated allergies, and spring.

Laughing, skipping, humming, and pranking. Sirius loved spring.

65: Horror

There was only one possibility, and it horrified him. There was only one culprit, only one sensible traitor.

66: My world

Sirius was Remus' world, and Remus was Sirius' world, and they both knew it.

67: Song

"Never. Do. That. Again." Remus muttered, rubbing his ears, Sirius pouted,

"I'm not that bad at singing, am I?"

"You weren't singing, you were screeching."

68: running

Remus loved to run, it let him take his mind off of things, paying only attention to the pumping of his arms and legs, the burning in his chest and lungs focus on breathing, in, out, in and out, he could forget.

69: Annoyance

"But I'm bored."

"I don't care Sirius; I'm trying to finish my essay."

"You can do that tomorrow."

"It's due tomorrow."

"No it's not."

"Yes, it is, now shoo."

"Play with me!!!!"

"You are annoying Sirius, begone!"

70: 67%

"Okay, I'm 67% sure Remus isn't gay."

"And 33% sure he is?"

"Yup."

"Well, why not take a chance on that 33%? You might want to check your math."

71: Obsession

Tears were endlessly flowing, the words were popping up on the page, written over and over, furiously scratched into the skin, bled into the mind, again and again and again and again, and just like any word that is repeated, they began to lose their meaning. Slowly Sirius Black began to fade away.

72: Wings

Sometimes Sirius felt like he could fly, like he had wings, and each of those times were with Remus.

73: I can't

Remus Lupin was broken, his heart had been shattered, and to keep himself from breaking anymore, he locked away his heart and threw out the key. When Sirius asked for love, Remus said no.

74: Are you challenging me?

"If I score higher than you on the next exam, you have to go out with me." Sirius stated, Remus lifted a brow,

"Are you challenging me?"

"Yes."

"Fine, if you score higher, I'll go out with you."

"Good." Sirius was confident; Remus was going to slip up.

"All right then." Remus was confident; he always had perfect scores,

"Perfect score, and what did you get Remus?"

"Damn, fine, I'll go out with you." Remus scowled, ONE QUESTION! He missed one bloody question!

75: Mirror

Remus didn't like to look in the mirror, because all he saw was shame and scars and ugliness. Remus didn't like to see his body. He felt hideous. But Sirius loved Remus' body. Because it was beautiful.

76: Pieces

"Wait, you're gay?"

"Yup."

"And dating Remus."

"You got it."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" James was furious, those damn mutts! But then he froze, as it all clicked into place, the casual touches, too-long hugs, the more-than-friendly banter, the pieces fit perfectly.

77: Test

It was all a test, they were trying to see if he'd go insane, trying to see if he'd finally break. But he wouldn't do it, he wouldn't break, he wouldn't. Because he never failed a test.

78: Friend

"Are you going out?"

"Nope, just friends." Sirius replied happily, from his position on Remus' lap.

"Then why were you snogging?"

"Cause I felt like it."

"So, you snog all your guy friends?"

"Nope, just Remus."

"Right…. Well, have fun with that."

79: Wrath

Sirius cackled manically, and flipped the page, reading swiftly.

"Hey Padfoot, what are you doing?" Remus asked, kneeling by his trunk and flipping it open, Sirius chuckled,

"Nothing."

"Yes you are doing something, what's that book? It looks familiar….." Remus reached for it and froze when he saw the cover, anger flared within his eyes,

"Padfoot, you better start running….." Remus stated in forced calm, Sirius chuckled, and obeyed, dashing from the dorms, Remus snarled,

"YOU DAMN PRICK! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO READ MY JOURNAL!!!!"

80: words

"I love you." Remus was saved when he heard those words.

"I hate you." Remus was killed when he heard those words.

81: Gone

He struggled, panting; sweat beading across his forehead, with a gasp he awoke, sitting straight up in his bed. The sheets tangled about his legs, sticking to his sweating skin, with a soft sob he pulled his knees up to his chest and began to weep, Sirius really was gone.

82: Shape

"Doodododdo" Sirius sang softly, scribbling on his notes, Remus frowned and looked over, peering at the doodle,

"What is it?"

"My new shape."

"That's a scribble."

"It's a zwinger."

"You have issues."

"I know."

83: Heal

Sirius Black healed Remus Lupin, by loving him. Sirius Black healed Remus Lupin by kissing him. Sirius Black healed Remus Lupin by knowing him.

84: Cold

Sirius shivered, looking up towards the night sky, where the stars hung twinkling and grinning down. His breath puffed, freezing in dew coated spider webs on the cold night air. Never in his life had felt so alone, so cold. Warmth draped around his shoulders and he looked to the side, shocked, Remus stood there smiling,

"You looked cold."

85: Spiral

Remus' life was spiraling out of his control, going on a downwards path right to hell. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong. He was stuck on his spiral and he couldn't break free.

86: Seeing red

Only Sirius could make Remus see red, only Sirius could make Remus thirst for blood. When Sirius cried, when he shuddered, when he whispered of life's cruelties, Remus would see red, promising pain to those who had hurt Sirius.

87: Food

Sirius liked food; he liked to try new food, all types of food. Sometimes it was gross, sometimes it was good. Sirius liked to make food, all types of food. Remus liked to eat food. Remus liked all types of food. Did he like Sirius' food? No. Did the prospect of Sirius cooking make Remus run out the door? Yes, yes it did.

88: Pain

Remus wasn't a stranger to pain. All of his life was filled with pain, the pain of hearing his father screaming at him, the pain of feeling his father hitting him, the pain of his transformations each and every month. Remus was used to the pain. But this pain was new. This pain was unbearable, and Remus was cracking beneath the pressure.

89: Through the fire

They fight, they argue, they SCREAM. Wondering all the while where it went wrong, what they did to drift so far apart. They wondered, if they'd ever be able to love each other again.

90: Triangle

"Remus, Sirius, James." Remus read aloud, head tilting to the side, "What's that Sirius?"

"A love triangle!" Sirius replied happily, James promptly began to choke on his pumpkin juice, face red, eyes watering as he turned to glare fiercely at Sirius,

"Why am I on it?!"

"Because I love you Jamie!" Sirius said happily, fighting down a smirk as he threw his arms around James, Remus fought a smile at the traumatized expression on James' face.

91: Drowning

Remus sometimes felt like he couldn't breathe, sometimes he felt like he was drowning in the past and would never escape. But then Sirius would come, and Remus would be pulled out of the murky waters, and thrown into a pool of golden happiness, and he'd drown in love, and he didn't mind quite so much.

92: All that I have

"Sirius, I love you."

Here's my heart.

"Will you go out with me?"

It's all I have, please don't break it.

93: Give in

Remus was unable to deny Sirius' puppy dog eyes.

"Please?"

"No, I won't."

"Pretty please?"

"NO, Padfoot!"

"Please, please, please?!"

"No, I'm not going to, nope. You can't make me… Damnit! Stop giving me the puppy dog eyes!"

"…"

"Fine!"

"Yay!"

94: Last Hope

Sirius didn't really believe they'd believe him, he didn't really believe that they'd listen to him. He wanted to scream at them, why were they taking him? He wasn't the one; the real traitor was long gone. Sirius didn't really believe that Remus would wait for him. But he had hoped.

95: Advertisement.

Remus was furious. How could Sirius think of doing something like that? Everywhere Remus went, signs and posters flashed, with pictures of Sirius winking sexily, words sprawling beneath his photo,

"Hogwarts resident sex God, kisses just five sickles!"

Oh yes, Remus was seething.

96: Need

Sirius didn't need anything, as long as he had Remus. Sirius didn't want anything, other than Remus. All Sirius needed was Remus, and that was it.

97: Safety first

"Grrrrrr." Padfoot growled, James scowled,

"Turn back, Sirius."

"Grrrrrr."

"No sex if you don't turn back." Remus stated.

"Grrrrrrr."

"Damnit, don't bite! I'll MUZZLE you!"

98: In between

"I didn't mean to!"

"That doesn't change it Sirius! Go away!" Remus snarled, pushing past the other boy, stalking angrily into the Great Hall. Sirius followed,

"Really, Moony, please!"

"HOW DARE YOU?!" Remus screeched, shocking everyone into silence, heads began to turn, his face was red, his hands were clenched, he was breathing heavily, "You lost every right to call me that!"

"Moony…."

"Shut up, Black!" Sirius froze, tears welling in his eyes,

"But Remus!" Remus cursed at Sirius, shocking everyone further, calm, cool, collected, sweet little Remus was cursing Sirius so viciously, so fluently,

"Remus, I love you! Please, please don't be like this!" Sirius pleaded, Remus closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, seemingly to calm himself, when suddenly he brought back his fist and let fly, connecting it painfully to Sirius' jaw. James caught his best friend when he stumbled backwards, clutching the rapid swelling area, Remus glared and turned and stalked out of the hall. James watched him go, eyes wide, how he hated to be caught in between!

99: Solitude

Remus liked to be alone, he enjoyed it. When he was alone, he didn't have to worry about others, he could scream and rave and cry without caring what others thought, he could curse the sky without caring he frightened someone, he could punch things without worry of hurting someone, he could weep without caring if somebody was watching.

100: Relaxation

He couldn't relax, no matter how many times they told him. They could force him to take potions, they could force him to bed, they could force him to talk, but he'd never relax, not until he found what he was looking for. He would never relax, not as long as he didn't know, not as long as Sirius Black was alive.