A/N: Hey guys. This is my first story in a while, I haven't been in the mood to write, Nor have I had the inspiration, But, I really wanted to write this for my good friend Toki Mirage, Whom I adore with all my heart.
This ones for you babe!

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, this world is not mine, even though its nice to fantasize about a big blue man and his big… hands. –coughs- Anyway~ Enjoy 3
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It wasn't normal To feel this way about another male. It wasn't right. But no matter what I told myself, or what I tried to make myself believe, the feelings I have for him are still there. Like a constant pressure weighing over my heart and bogging down my physical body, heavy and dragging me slowly down, further into what people call love.

It's not right for me to love him. Not only is he a male, But he's an entirely different species. One that I cannot begin to understand, with their intricate lifestyle that revolves around the trees, animals and plants. I feel so alone here, like I don't belong with my Artificial Na'vi body, which has a slight human resemblance.

Am I human? No. Am I Na'vi? No. I am stuck in between. On the line of what I was born be, and what I wish with all my heart to be. These people with their amazing life, and their connection to their animals… It makes me feel inadequate. An outsider who came from a world where machines and stone highways rule.

I want to be here with them, I want to run with them as they hunt for food, I want to pray with them after they slay a dangerous beast, I want to sit by a campfire listening to the stories and legends of these people, I want to mate with Him and bear his children. I've seen male Na'vi Couplings. Where one is the bearer of the child, taking on the woman's jobs in the clan and one is the Protector, living only for their mate.

I want to do that. I want to have that. But it will never be, for I am an outsider looking into a forbidden and beautiful world and I don't belong.

My Hearts desires are not reciprocated here.

I'm alone, with just my dreams and a bow.

How I wish he noticed me. How I wish he was to be my beloved.

I sigh loudly, drawing the attention of my fellow Na'vi. No, No… Not my fellow Na'vi.

I smile at them softly, showing them I'm fine and they return to their menial tasks of cooking, washing, sowing and cleaning. These are the people of the second tier, the carers of the clan you might say. I myself offered to be apart of them, knowing that the life of a Na'vi warrior wouldn't be for me, Not because I'm not a warrior, that's not it at all. I simply wish to be the best mate I can, and what better people to learn from than the Wives of the clan? I frown lightly and turn my attention to the shirt before me, forgotten as I dwelled on my current and reoccurring problems.

It belongs to him, the Na'vi my heart and soul is with. I close my eyes and a silent tear drips from my eye, falling slowly down my cheek, caressing my blue skin and the markings found there. My yellow eyes open and I shake my head with a nearly unnoticeable smile on my lips.

I pick up a few more pieces of leather that the hunters had provided the Wives with, before sowing the patches over the one of the many holes, ripped into the fabric by a wild animal no doubt. Before folding the fabric as if it were some delicate boon granted to me by the gods. As I do so, I gently inhale the scent on the clothes. It smiles like summer rain and sunshine with just the slightest hint of musk. It smells so much like him. My eyes slip closed and I sigh wistfully, making sure to keep it as inaudible as possible, before placing it on the pile of other repaired clothing.

I gently pick up the pile I've completed and take it to the matron of the second tier, An'dralla, she smiles at me like the other mothers do. In that way that says 'We know why you're here… We're sorry you decided to stay with such a burden.' And all I can do is smile back with my own message. 'Its ok, I've made my choice And I'll live by it.'

She smiles that little bit wider at me and hands the clothes back placing a fruit on top, my payment for the day.

"Well done, these are of good quality. We are most thankful you offer such hands for the clan."

I smile back at her, a little more real this time. "Thank you An'dralla, Im glad I could help you. Is there anything else you need?"

She seems to think about this for a moment, her lips pursing in a peculiar way. "Aa." She nods in ascent. "Take these up to the warrior tier, and hand them to Tsu'tey. He is up there now and was requesting his troops clothes back after their bathing, He will appreciate it." My eyes widen and my mouth opens to object, but she has predicted this and holds up her hand.

"We know of your plight," came her heavily accented voice. "And we understand. Some of us have been there before. But you'll never know until you try, Aa?" She looks at me sternly, shutting my mouth with her free hand. All I can do is nod.

"Y-yes An'dralla." I stutter out softly, moving to the ladder which will take me to the fifth tier…The warrior's cove. Named such for its lake-like bath in the centre.

As I climb slowly, my thoughts once again turn to him. Tsu'tey. The Na'vi I love with everything I have. Why do I love him? Simple. He's strong, masculine, fierce and dominating. He demands attention. The first time I saw him I was filled with an amazing respect, he held himself with pride and had this strong aura about him, like he was saying 'Don't mess with me.' He made me feel inadequate, but at the same time I wanted to prove to him that I was as good as him and maybe even better. So I set out on a journey to prove myself, I first started out by training with his warriors. Trying to best them, Trying to show that I was a better warrior than they were, worthy of being his equal. I continued like this for several months, training on the dummies, sparring with the other warriors, until eventually I challenged Tsu'tey to a duel. After a gruelling hour of blood sweat and tears, I lay bested before him and my need grew. I had to prove I was his equal.

But no matter what I tried, I always came second to him, always. It frustrated me to no end. The Na'vi people were confused when I finally put down my spear one morning and said 'I can't do this any more' before I offered my service to the Wives, who were more than happy to accept me into their ranks. An'dralla was always telling me how they needed more male Na'vi in their ranks.

It was a few days after this, when Tsu'tey had first started to treat me with disrespect. He called me the 'Male wife' and 'The girly warrior' But I didn't mind too much, I had decided where I wanted my place to be and I was going to stick to that decision, no matter what anybody else thought about it.

His belittling of me continued for several weeks, but I continued to stand tall and proud not letting his words effect me. He soon got the point, he couldn't belittle someone, who was proud of their choice, and proud of themselves because they have nothing to be ashamed of, because they are strong people who stand by their choices and wont let anything get in their way of being who they want to be.

I stepped up a few more rungs of the ladder, when a soft breeze started to waft around my legs and tail. It pushed the ladder around gently, and I stopped getting a firmer hold on the clothes before moving again. Dropping the garments in my possession now, would be unlucky.

But then I smell it, his aroma, hot and sticky on the wind like honey dew being poured over my senses. It courses through me like a lightning bolt, hot, quick and electrifying. Coursing through my body at an inhuman speed.

As I grab onto the landing of the Warriors cove, I take shuddering breaths. Little tingles pulse their way under my flesh, making my til bristle in delight as if anticipating a great pleasure but I force myself to remain calm and not get too… over excited.

Once I climb onto the warriors tier, I right myself and move the clothes I held onto my head with my hand, out of my vision.

But once I do, my breath catches and I have to lower my head quickly to hide the tint of my face, for I am sure my cheeks are flushed in the wake of what stands before me.

Tsu'tey stands leaning against a table in only his loin cloth, which is barely holding onto his hips and is obviously wet from his bath. His skin glistens in the fire-light, making him look like some enthralling and erotic version of his usual self.

"There you are!" He says loudly, and my eyes snap up immediately thinking I had done something wrong, even though I know I hadn't.

"Well come here then man-wife! We need our clothes!" He yelled out to me in his typical brash and demanding tone.

I nod at him swiftly, and make my way towards him but inwardly I am seething. Though I have chosen the life of a carer over that of a warrior, it doesn't mean that I am a lower status than him. I train daily, I make sure my body is fit and healthy, and I always make sure I can connect with my animals.

As I get to him he takes the fruit from the top of the pile, and bites into its juicy flesh.
My eye twitches as I watch my day's payment be gobbled up by Tsu'tey, but I say nothing. It's not like I can't go ask for another from An'dralla.

As I look at him, I notice that a small droplet of juice has slipped past his lips and is now making its journey southward on his neck. I swallowed impulsively, imagining where that droplet might end up if left to its own devices…Over the taught skin of his pectorals, down the bumps and rivets of his abs, stopping to soak into his loincloth and- Oh god. I had to get out of there.

"There are your clothes Tsu'tey, What else do you want?" I look up at him, flushed, but still managing to look defiant of him, daring him to say he wants something.

"No, you may go. Man-wife." I sneer at him quickly before turning on my heel and making my way towards the ladder.

"Oh hold on." Tsu'tey calls after a few steps and I growl lightly as I turn around.

"Yes?"

"Come here, I believe you missed a hole." At this I raise an eyebrow, surely I haven't. An'dralla checked before I brought them up but I make my way over to him none-the-less.

He gestures the clothes and takes a step back, I look at him warily but he just smiles and points his finger at the hunting shirt on top.

"I don't see it." I say as I lean down to inspect the clothes, when I feel a heavy and warm pressure on my back and the feeling of his front pressing into my backside.

"You sure? Check again." He sounds smug and cocksure. Like he knows I wont resist.

"what are you doing?" I whimper out softly, holding back a moan as he wraps one arm around my front pulling me closer into his chest, while the other takes a firm grip on my thigh.

"Simple, Im helping you look at holes." He snickers softly, and slowly drags his hand up my chest to cup my face, slowly inserting his finger into my mouth.

"Found one." He purrs softly into my ear, as my tongue laps his finger languidly.

But then the pressure is gone and I can hear laughter all around me. Warriors previously hiding about the room come out and are pointing and laughing at me jeering at me 'Man whore!' they cry. 'Haha! Did you see? He was gagging for it!' I hear one say amongst the rambunctious laughter.

And that's all I can take, I turn and flee, finding the nearest ladder and sliding down it, but no matter how fast I fly down the rungs, the laughter follows me.

An'dralla, sees me coming and comes up to me, thinking my coming down fast is to tell her good news but then she sees my face, a mask of anguish and pain as if all the hope in my life was stripped away in the past twenty minutes. She steps up to me to ask what's wrong, but I whimper and flinch away from her touch before running past her in a hurry.

She calls my Na'Vi name. ''T'Chalu! Where are you going?!" but im already gone, out into the wildwoods. In a clearing so familiar. I want to stay here forever. I don't want to go back there. Not just yet. I don't want to hear the entire clan has heard of what has happened. I don't want to feel pity from the Wives, or feel the mocking stares of the Warriors.

I didn't ask for love, love chose me.

I just wish it didn't have to be so cruel and deceitful.

And it was with that thought, that I fell into a deep sleep. Filled with mocking laughter and shattered dreams.

A/n. So what do you think? Continue for one more chapter with the aftermath?
or leave it as that?

Review! I really wanna know what you think.

X

Le-Undovoir.