Authors Note: Hey guys! So clearly I suck at updating, but I fully intend to continue with this story as per my original plan. So that means there's still another 7 episode chapters. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this. And thanks to those people who are still reading and reviewing 3

Disclaimer: Like I even have to say it anymore... I don't own Glee or any of their pretty people. Although I have asked Santa...

6. Vitamin D

I've always thought of myself as being quite a passionate guy. I don't mean sexually, or at least, not just sexually. (I am a man after all, so of course I'm passionate about sex, but there's more to it than that) I mean that I'm passionate about things I like and things I believe in.

My job, for example. Teaching is a job that you have to love, otherwise there is no reason to keep going into work each day. Yeah, of course it's good to know you're making money and helping kids and all the rest, but if you don't truly enjoy what you're doing… You know, the pay isn't that great, the set holidays are a nuisance (because wherever you go during school holidays is likely to be full of the people you're trying to escape - i.e., your students) and a lot of the time it can be completely soul crushing working with people who couldn't care less about Spanish. It's too difficult a job to do if your heart's not in it.

Music has always been the other big love of my life. Whatever happens, there is always music. There are some songs that make me smile every time I hear them, no matter what else is going on. There are some that remind me of important people or events in my life - both good and bad. And there are songs that can make me cry like a child, either because of these connections, or simply because of the beauty of the music itself. But to me the most incredible and powerful thing about music is that it's always there; it has always existed and always will exist. And when you consider the ever changing and unpredictable world we live in, I think that kind of constancy and dependability is just amazing.

I suppose the combination of these two things is part of the reason I took over the Glee club in the first place. The fact that the kids seem to enjoy it as much as I do is the reason I keep going back. Their enthusiasm for the music - and for performing - is exhilarating.

To be honest, I wasn't really sure what to expect from the guys yesterday. They are all good singers, and I know they can perform well, but they've become a little complacent recently and seem to have lost some of their enthusiasm. I've been really worried about Finn as well. He looks so tired all the time and seemed to 'faze out' in the middle of rehearsals - like he just can't focus on anything. I'm sort of used to that in Spanish, but not in Glee. It's frustrating, because I wanted to talk to him about it and make sure he was ok, but at the same time I couldn't help but wonder if it was maybe something to do with our relationship. I mean, it's a lot for a young man to deal with. He says he's totally fine with the way things are between us, and that he isn't going to 'freak out about having a gay relationship with a teacher' (his words, not mine), but it just seemed too… it still seems too easy for him, and it made me think that maybe I wasn't seeing the whole picture. Maybe he is more 'freaked' than he will admit.

But when I saw the guys perform their mash-up I stopped worrying. I've never seen Finn so enthusiastic and energetic. He was the complete opposite of how he'd been all through the week. I thought - or rather, I assumed - that he was just really excited about the mash-up and the added element of competition. The guys obviously knew it was going to go well, and that would explain why they were all in such good moods. Whatever the reason, I was just so glad to see Finn happy again, to see the return of the young man I had fallen in love with (yes, I am definitely in love with him) and I think that my own selfish happiness must have clouded my judgement, because I couldn't see anything wrong.

In all honesty, I probably wouldn't have noticed anything if it hadn't been for the girls. After the boys performance it was clear that the girls were all worried, but by the time they got up to perform today their entire attitude had changed. Suddenly they were every bit as energetic and enthusiastic as the boys had been (except Quinn, who occasionally looked at the others as if they were crazy. She didn't seem to have quite the same level of excitement as the rest of the group. Of course, I now know why that was) Once again, I managed to convince myself that they were just really enjoying the project, because that was the easy option, and also because it meant that I had inspired them. I had given them all the confidence and enthusiasm they needed to perform their best. Every single one of those kids was fantastic - the best they'd ever been - and it was all down to my teaching.

Except, of course, it wasn't.

It was all down to my slightly psychotic wife, and my wonderful-but-often-dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks student/boyfriend.

(Wow, that's messed up.)

That's the part that really kills me. Why did it have to be Finn who suggested it to the rest of the club? (Surely that's more like something Puck would do?) Why did he have to go to Terri in the first place? And why the hell did he ever listen to her advice? As much as I try not to talk about her to him, I thought he knew enough to realise that she is not the best person to ask for help or advice, unless it involved bed linen (and even then I'm not sure she'd be too much help).

It feels like some sick, twisted betrayal - these two working together to completely destroy everything I've worked so hard for. Of course I know that wasn't Finn's intention - he may not be perfect, but he's not spiteful or vindictive. And whilst Terri is certainly no angel, I don't believe she was deliberately trying to destroy me or the club. Not this time anyway. She keeps saying she was trying to help and I believe her. I know she doesn't like the Glee club and how much of my time it takes up, but I know she wouldn't do anything to the kids. She actually seems to like some of them - especially Finn and Quinn.

I just can't stop thinking about how badly this has all gone, and how much worse it could have been. Any one of those kids could have taken a bad reaction to the pseudoephrine and ended up in hospital. I can't bear to think of Finn getting sick. And I hate to think what's going to happen when the parents hear about this. What happens when they contact the Police?

Dammit, this is so screwed up!

Finn has been texting me all night too. He's really upset over all of this and he just wants to forget it ever happened and go on as before. In a way, that's exactly what I want too, but the damage has been done now, and we can't just brush it under the rug and ignore it. Certainly not with our new 'co-director' hanging around to remind everyone.

So here I am, lying in bed trying desperately to figure out how to make everything better, or at least, less horrible.

I can forgive Terri. After all, she was just trying to help. There was no selfish motivation for her, and that's a rare thing for her. She'll mope around the house for a few days because I shouted at her, but she'll soon get bored and find something else to focus her energy on, and we'll never mention this to each other again. (That's the way it always works when she is wrong. If I'm ever wrong, she finds a way to drag it out forever.)

The kids will just have to deal with Sue hanging around. They all messed up, made the wrong decision, and they have to accept the consequences. As will I. It's certainly not an ideal situation, but it's the only way for the club to continue, and none of us are willing to have it end so soon after getting started. And maybe it won't be the worst thing in the world. It will certainly keep Figgins off my back for a few more weeks, and maybe Sue will get bored of it quickly and decide to back down before we try to kill each other.

That only leaves Finn. He made a bad decision, and convinced his friends to do the same. He knows most of those guys would do anything he told them to - he has some sort of power over them and he abused it. Then he lied about it. Ok, so he didn't directly lie, but a lie of omission is just as bad. Our relationship is far from perfect - we're far from perfect - but I thought we could at least be honest with each other.

I'm not ready to lose what Finn and I have, and I know he wants to fix things as much as I do, but I have no idea how we're going to get past this.