IMPORTANT STUFF

HELLOOOOOO HUMAAAANS! As some of you who get the notification of this update know, it's been almost six years since I posted this story. I was just seeing this story and, after realizing how much I (and many readers) disliked the ending, I have revised it. Actually, I have revised the whole story; mostly I just fixed some grammatical errors and completed some unfinished ideas, but I did give it an alternative ending. So, if you, dearest reader, wish to read both versions, who am I to stop you? You can judge which ending you liked better; Im not deleting the original version simply because I'm sentimental like that. I'll say this again in all caps just to be sure new readers see this: CHAPTER 5 IS THE REVISED VERSION OF THIS STORY. PLEASE READ IT. And have a happy 2016 :)

I saw him waiting by the altar. My heart was pounding in my chest. I could only hear the blood pulsing through my body with so much speed it was faster than lightning. I could also feel my heart breaking. It was breaking into a million pieces that I wasn't sure anybody would be able to fix. I was broken. My heart was in so much pain that I begged God silently to stop this unending pain. But I knew it was a lost cause. My heart would never cease hurting. I hurt. I cried. I died. And it was his entire fault. It was the fault of my best friend for getting married. Getting married to the most perfect woman he could find. And it wasn't me. It was her. I knew all along I was never good enough for him. I knew she, Tanya, was. With her strawberry blond hair, and piercing blue eyes. It matched perfectly. He had messy bronze hair and green eyes so beautiful you get lost looking into its depths. He was beautiful. He wasn't mine.

I was watching my best friend get married. I saw Edward Anthony Cullen get married. I saw the love of my life getting married. And it hurt. It killed me. But he was happy, and that was all I could ask for. He was smiling so proudly, making Tanya his wife. Finally, I saw her walk down the aisle. She looked breathtaking in her white dress and veil over her eyes. No wonder he chose her over me. I had boring brown hair that reached my waist, and dull brown eyes. I wasn't ugly, just plain. Simple. Boring. Nothing like him.

Beside me was his sister and best friend Alice; and to my other side was Rosalie Hale, my other best friend. They were smiling widely, oblivious to their best friend's breaking heart. In the moment the priest asked if Edward wanted Tanya as his wife, I wished with every fiber of my being he would say no.

"I do," I heard him say. I stopped breathing. My heart stopped beating. Tears flowed against my will. The heart that had stopped beating wasn't there any longer. Instead, there was a black hole that didn't let me feel anything. I felt numb. I felt like dying.

"Bella, are you alright?" Alice asked me, looking concerned. I just nodded in response.

"I'm just happy for him," I said. It was true, I really was. Even if it meant I was miserable. Which I was. Alice smiled and kept looking at the ceremony. Time ticked by, and soon I found myself at the reception. I was sitting, looking at Edward dancing with Tanya-his wife- their first dance. I looked down at my lap, with my hands that laid tangled in each other. I was a mess. I knew so.

"Bells, you ok?" Emmett asked me. He was another of my best friends, the teddy bear from the gang. I shook my head no.

"I think I'm going to go home," I whispered. He understood. He of all people understood my grieving, since only he knew. Only he knew of the pain in my heart. He hugged me tight, crushing me to him.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I wished it was different," he whispered in my ear before releasing me.

"Me too," I whispered. He nodded, and whipped away a tear that had fallen on my cheek. And that was just one of many tears to come, I knew.

I got out of there as fast as I could in heels. Giving up after too much stumbling, I took them off. But just as my hand was reaching for the door knob that would let me out of this misery, a hand stopped me. His hand stopped me.

"Bella, you ok?" Edward asked me, looking worried. I nodded, numbly. I couldn't feel.

"No, Bella, you are not. Tell me what happened," he demanded. I shook my head no. "Bella, I swear to God I'll find out one way or the other," he said. I didn't look at him. It would hurt more. If I looked at him in the eye, he would see my pain. He would see right through me, like always. Except when it came to realizing I loved him. I sighed.

"Just leave me alone, Edward. Go be with your wife. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine," I lied. It hurt, thinking of Tanya as Edward's wife.

"No. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong," he said again. I sighed again, and looked at him in the eye. I was right, it hurt more. The hole in m chest got deeper.

"Bella…" Edward gasped, and pulled me in for a hug. I backed away quickly. I shook my head no.

"Don't," I said in a pained voice. He looked more confused than ever.

"We'll talk about it when you get back from the honeymoon," I said, flinching at the words. I knew my words were lifeless; after all, I myself couldn't find again my soul. Edward took it with him. He nodded sadly, before letting go of the elbow he'd been clutching. I nodded once, and ran away from there.

I got to my apartment in haste. I opened the door, struggling, and stumbled in the apartment. The first thing I did was to close the curtains. Then I changed out of the dress that was making hard to fill my lungs. But I knew the dress wasn't what was not allowing me to breathe. It was pain. I raced to my bedroom, and pulled out a pair of sweats and a big shirt. I quickly put them on, and going to the bathroom I washed the makeup away from my face. I looked at myself on the mirror. I could see a woman. A woman that had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and messy brown hair. But what stunned me most was that her eyes looked dead. They were dark, with no light… dead. If the eyes really were the gates to your soul, then she had none. And that woman was me.

Combing my hair back into place, I left the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I went to my living room, and sat down on a couch. I did not turn on the TV; I did not go to make myself something to eat since I wouldn't be able to hold it down. I just sat there, like stone. I sat there on the large couch with my legs pulled against my chest and hands between my legs to keep them warm. And I stared into nothing, just thinking.

I knew I had to get on with my life –if you could call it that- but the thing was; I didn't want to. I wanted Edward to realize he had loved me all along and not Tanya. And I was too much of a coward to tell him how I felt, and now I would never know what happened. Those 'what ifs' would haunt me down for the rest of my life.

Hours ticked by, and I was still like stone, sitting on the couch. It was later that night, and I still hadn't eaten one single meal. I couldn't. I made myself the food, but when I thought of Edward and Tanya, my hunger went away. It sickened me, thinking about it. Yet that was everything I could think about.

Like that, 2 days went by, and nobody came by. Emmett must had been holding them back. But then, as I was going to sit again at the couch after stretching my legs by going to switch sweats, there was a knock on the door. I walked as fast as my feet would let me, and I opened the door.

"Alice, Jasper, Rose… what are you doing here?" I whispered. I couldn't talk any louder even if I tried. They all got a panicked look on their faces.

"May we come in?" asked Rose. I nodded and held the door open a little wider. When Emmett passed by me he gave me an apologetic look, and I nodded. I would have smiled, but I knew I couldn't even do that. They all went to sit where I had been sitting for the past two days, and looked at me worriedly. Finally, Alice broke the silence.

"Bella, what happened? You have dark circles under your eyes, you look thinner and tired," she said. I nodded in response. Then I whispered.

"I haven't slept in two days. I haven't eaten in two days. I haven't talked, laughed or gotten out of here in two days," Alice gasped, Rose had a look of horror on her face, Emmett looked really worried and Jasper… well, he was being Jasper.

"Why?" Rose chocked out. I looked at her straight in the eye, and held her gaze. Comprehension passed through her eyes, and she gasped.

"Since when?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Since always," I whispered simply. Alice and Jasper looked utterly confused.

"What's goin' on?" asked Jasper with his southern drawl. Rose looked at him sadly.

"Bella is in love with Edward," she said. I felt another pang of pain in my chest at the mention of his name. Alice gasped and looked at me with wide sad eyes.

"Why did you never tell me?" she asked sadly. I looked at the ground.

"There was nothing you could have done about it," I whispered. And so the discussions kept on going, until they decided I was broken and needed time to fix. Alone.

The next day I made a decision. I was moving out. I was moving to LA and was never coming back. Dad and mom were dead, the love of my life was married to other woman, and my friends couldn't repair me. There was nothing holding me back. But the worst part was that I wouldn't tell my friends I was leaving. I would tell no one. So that day I booked a ticket to Los Angeles for Friday. I found a beautiful apartment not far from the beach, and quit my job. I was a chef in a good restaurant and made good money, but I had to leave it. I found a job application as a cook in a beautiful restaurant. I called and they told me the spot was still open, and the salary was even better than my last. I, of course, accepted the job.

So I set to work, and started packing in boxes my stuff. I taped, marked, wrapped and labeled. By the end of the day I was almost done with everything. I just had to send the stuff to my new apartment. Tuesday I was done, and so I sent all of my things to LA. I knew I was still a pretty awful mess, but I was sure that once I reached LA everything would turn out fine in the end.

When Wednesday came along, I still couldn't go to sleep. I knew I needed the sleep, because on day or the other, it was going to come back and bite me in the ass not sleeping. So I got in a pair of jeans, a white polo and snickers. I brushed my hair as well as I could, and headed out. I had to walk, because I had already sold my truck. I walked down a few blocks, and got to the Drugstore. I went in, the bell ringing indicating someone arrived, and stood in front of the counter. I tapped it lightly, and in came a doctor. He was handsome, but not as Edward.

"May I help you?" he asked professionally. I nodded.

"Do you have sleeping pills?" I asked quietly. He raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have a doctor's prescription?" he asked. I shook my head no.

"Then I'm sorry, but I cannot sell you sleeping pills," he said. I sighed.

"Please sir, you don't understand. I haven't slept in 5 days. 5 days. I need my sleep, sir. And it's not going to happen unless it's with pills. Because I can't. I want to but I cannot sleep and it's killing me" I pleaded with him. He looked at me with soft eyes. He nodded.

"I guess we can make an exception," he said softly. I nodded gratefully. He handed me the pills and I paid him.

"Thank you, sir. You don't know how much this means to me," I looked at him gratefully.

"What is your name?" he blurted out. I almost smiled.

"Bella Swan. And you?" I asked him. he smiled.

"Ted Bennett," he shook my hand.

"Well then, goodbye Dr. Bennett," I said, and walked out of the drugstore. The day was cold, and I had to wrap my arms around myself. That day, I finally slept. The problem was; I didn't sleep all that well. I dreamed of Edward's wedding again, but his time he told me he would never love me, and it hurt even in my sleep.

Thursday went by quickly, and I was nervous. I knew Edward and Tanya came back from their honeymoon today, and I didn't want Edward coming over here. So I crossed my fingers and prayed to God he would not come. I prayed. He listened.

Finally, Friday came around. I had my last suitcases packed and I was ready to go. I was just waiting for the cab I had called to arrive. But as I carried my suitcases to stand in front of the main door, there was a knock on the door. I was confused; I didn't expect anybody coming to visit me today. I assumed it was the mail guy, and so I opened the door. Boy was I wrong…

"Edward?" I chocked. He smiled his crooked smile at me, and motioned inside.

"May I come in?" he asked. I hesitated, the hole in my chest deepening further.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea, Edwdard…" I trailed off. He looked confused.

"Why? You said we could talk after I returned from the honeymoon," he said and I flinched. He didn't notice, however, and kept begging for me to be let in.

"Edward, I have a flight to catch," I whispered. He again looked confused.

"Bella, what is going on?" he asked. Before I could answer, he let himself in. there was nothing in the house. No furniture, pictures, food… nothing. Only my suitcases waiting for me.

"B-Bella? W-What d-does t-this mean?" he stuttered. I sighed.

"I'm moving, Edward," I said. He sighed in relief.

"Oh, were?" he asked. I'm sure he thought I meant house only.

"To other place. Another state," I clarified. Edward's face lost all color it had. He was speechless, I knew.

"W-Why?" he sounded like crying. I looked at him sadly.

"I need a new start. Somewhere where there's not so much reminders of…" I cut myself off. No need to make him suffer too.

"Of what, Bella?" he asked harshly. A tear slipped from my eye. I looked at him straight in the eye.

"Of what I couldn't have. Of what was taken away from me, and never getting," I whispered sadly.

"Bella, is that why you look like this? Why you look so destroyed? Please tell me what's wrong…" he begged. Just in that moment the cab arrived. I gabbed my bags and hurried over there, throwing my things in the cab's trunk.

"Bella, WAIT!" Edward yelled and ran to me. I stopped, opening the taxi's door.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Please tell me what's wrong…" he begged again. This time, I did.

"I loved you. I loved you and you got married. So now, I am forced to start a new life. One where you are not in it," I said, and slid in the cab, leaving him stunned outside.

"Where to, ma'am?" the driver asked.

"To the airport," I said simply, and watched Edward on the rearview mirror as I went away.

Hey! So this is a story I came up with yesterday. I don't guarantee it will be that long, but I am guessing at least one or two more chapters. Review!

P.S: to those who want to know, if I get many reviews I will make it a happy ending.

Leah, your lovely, lovely author. (you know you love me darlin') ;)