A.N. First I want to thank my Beta Lucyferina for all the help, she has been awesome all the way. The song that I choose for this chapter is "Spell" by Marie Digby... and finally I want to thank all of you that had left me a review and have been really supporting me from the start, you make my day... here are some of you that has left me a review recently;
Brittany- Simaril - Roon0- Zdra8351- Lynne0731- Sarah Miler- Chalese- Delilah69- Slytheringrl17- Moore8879- Oceanluvr- TeamSeth7890- Twimama77- Gothfire0903- Mfaerie32- Genesis26- Traceybuie- Kathy Hiester- Slc6548- CullenxVamp- Robin.D- Mama4dukes- Lucyferina-
PPOV
Turning in the driveway at the Cullen's house my thoughts were going all over the place. I didn't plan on kissing her at the school, but I'll be damn if I didn't love it. I remember being annoyed about the girls while I was waiting for Bella, and then she came out and sensing the girls' lust over me I could almost taste the jealousy in the air.
And after she tried to show that I belonged to her, I had to smile and play along with her little game, it's not like she should be worried about me going after any of them. However my pride sky rocketed after my mate marked me as her man.
The kiss. The kiss was supposed to be just a simple quick kiss, and to my defense I did pull back... a little. But the look on her face mixed with the emotions that I was feeling it became too much to pull back all the way and let her go.
Kissing her was like nothing I ever felt before, and I was lost in her, the warmth, the scent, the taste and the way she was responding were intoxicating.
Shit even now with her heat pressed against my back wasn't helping matters either.
When we pulled in front of the house I had to adjust myself, and for sure this wasn't the time for this shit.
I helped her off the bike and I moved to get off slowly, when I turned around she was almost to the front door.
"Isabella..." I started to say but she interrupted me.
"Don't Peter, it's OK... we put a good show for them." She replied.
"A show?"... What show?... "It's that what you think? That it was all for a show?" I moved to stand next to her at vampire speed.
"Peter I know you were just doing that to get them to back off you." She whispered quietly.
"Why would you think that?" I asked her still confused at the way she was behaving after that amazing kiss.
"Well… look at you and then me." She said still not looking up at me.
"Yes I'm looking at you and I think that you're beautiful." I might as well get this over with, "Bella I kissed you because I wanted to and not for show, I don't give a shit about those girls... Plus you're worth too much to me." I said and walked closer to her wanting to see her reaction to my words.
"Peter don't be ridicules." She scoffed, not believing that to me she was the one and only.
"No Bella, I'm not being anything but honest with you. I've brought you here because I want to tell you the truth, I'm tired of lies and I want you to know how I feel and about who I this off) really am." I knew that what I was going to tell her next wasn't going to be easy, and probably she would end up hating me for a while afterward.
"What are you talking about?" Bella had a lot of emotions in her eyes, but I could tell the one that I dreaded the most, fear.
"Why don't we go inside and get comfortable, you probably want to call your dad and tell him that you are spending the night here, it's going to be a long night I'm afraid..." this was going to be hard for everybody but I need to finally reveal the truth to her. "If at the end of the night you don't want to be in the same room as I, I promised I'll stay outside but I feel better if you stay either way."
"Peter you are scaring me..." she whispered.
"No, no please don't." I moved to put my hands on her cheeks trying to make her feel at ease as much as I could while she would allow me. "Don't be afraid of me, I would never do anything to hurt you."
With that I took her hand and moved her inside and to the sofa, pulling my cell from my pocket and handing it to her I left to go into the kitchen. Even though I could still hear what she was saying in the phone I wanted to give her a sense of privacy while she talked to her dad.
I was trying to figure out how to tell her everything that I didn't notice her coming behind me.
"OK, I'm staying... now would you please tell me what's going on?" I turned slowly and studied all that I could about Bella, taking her scent to heart and looking at her beautiful chocolate brown eyes and her long mahogany hair.
"I need you to promise me that you will listen to everything I have to say before you make up your mind about me."
"Ooookayyy." she said not trusting this, not even a little bit.
"No please promise me." she looked up and gazed at me for a few seconds trying to decide something and whatever she found out made her mind up. She nodded.
"Yes I promise."
"Good, now why don't you eat something?"
I waited until she finished her dinner and then I took her hand and pulled her to the sofa once again. After she was sitting on the sofa I moved to the chair across the room and sat. We were silent for minutes, or maybe hours. How was I going to do this?
BPOV
He was sitting across the room, as far away from me as possible. I could see that whatever was coming was hard for him, and was going to be even harder for me to hear.
But I still had a feeling that whatever he was going to say it would be connected with the dream of him telling me that he loved me. A dream, a memory whatever it was, was going to change today.
I wanted to go to him, take his hand and comfort him. The way that he sometimes did with me without even realizing it.
After the kiss earlier and the way he was acting right now made me think that maybe the kiss was real and not something for a show.
I didn't realize before but now as I was staring at his face looking downward like he wished that the floor would open up and reveal all he needed to know. The same emotions were showing after he kissed me. The raw feeling of longing.
"Do you remember when we told you about Maria?" he started and waited for me to nod.
"Good, well we didn't tell you everything there was to the story... After Jasper changed me, I became third in command, I think was my gift that made Maria so interested in me and the way that Jasper seems a little more comfortable training me and able to socialized with me than any other... We were feared from every one when it came time to work together." he snickered for a moment lost in memory, "We even had a way of communicating without words, I knew how his gift works and I could imagine an emotion to tell him something and he would do the same sending me waves of whenever he wanted my attention... We did terrible things not only to humans but vampires alike. I've become a monster and for a long time I..."
"You didn't know any better Peter... you and Jasper had to survive... and following Maria's orders was the only surviving knowledge that you had a the time."
"Bella you are too kind... but I still see most of my victims... and they are in the thousands.. And this scars that I have all over my body, only remind me even more what I'm."
"You are right your scars say what you were and how strong you are to be able to be sitting across from me telling me about it... but they don't change what you have became, and I do not see a monster at all."
He frowned and kept quiet for a minute, probably trying to figure out how to say what was coming next.
"Peter, just tell me... I won't judge you and whatever it is we can work it out together." he nodded.
"After a couple of decades of this Maria sent us out to get some more recruits for the army she was thinking on going back to Texas and we needed more soldiers to take over one of the areas that became rich in humans... we came about a couple of females and a few strong males and changed them. The one female that Jasper changed was named Charlotte... and after spending some time together plus the help of my gift we became mates." There he said it, he was taken and wouldn't jeopardize his relationship with Charlotte and didn't know what to do with me now... but the emotions and the way he acted didn't make sense.
"After a year Maria gave the order to eliminate the weaker newborns and she was one of them, nobody knew about us, if anybody knew they could have used each other to other like a weapon... when it was her turn for me to take her to Jasper I told her to run and I stayed in place between her and Jasper, he on the other hand was frozen in place, I told him through my emotions that I loved her and that I needed him to let her go and that I would take her place... he on the other hand turned around and said 'go' that was all he said.
"After a time we returned to take him away from that forsaken place and show him that there was another way of living and we didn't need that place or Maria like she made us think. He didn't think twice and took off with us.
"After we got Jasper to come with us, we traveled as a group for a little while but Jasper didn't seem to find his peace with himself yet and went on his own, that's where he found Alice. Charlotte and I spent a couple of decades moving around traveling manly in the States."
He got quiet again, whatever was coming next was affecting him greatly.
"One night about 40 years ago I had one of my gut feeling things that if were to leave the house something bad would happened to her..." he needed to do this on his on time. " She wanted to go dancing …. fucking dancing and wouldn't have 'no' for an answer. … Maria had organized an ambush waiting for us outside town, she had too many soldiers for me or even with Charlotte's help to do any difference... At first I thought that maybe she just wanted us to come back but soon I discover that I was wrong... way fucking wrong!... Maria tortured Charlotte with me right in front watching. She wanted me to suffer for not just leaving her all those years ago but for taking Jasper with me. She didn't want me to die but go through a long time of suffering until she'll find Jasper and I again..
"Maria took great delight on burning Charlotte slowly, small pieces at a time." That was awful, to not only torturing the victim but her love one watching her die. I was hating this Maria more and more.
"I kept to the outside of towns and caves to mostly hide myself, I would hardly feed and when I did I tried to get to homeless or murderers..." OK so he did feed from humans still at some point and probably didn't changed diets until recently. "Jasper would come and find me every six months or so to check on me. But mostly it didn't help until..."
This time he looked up at me trying to give me the honest truth. "Until I had another of my great feelings and discovered that I would have another mate... that she would be greatly important to me and that I would do anything to protect her and that if she ever died I would die with her...Bella I have to tell you that at first I hated even the remote idea of having somebody to replace my Charlotte, but with time, a lot of time and getting to know facts about my future relationship I couldn't not but be happy . The other thing that helped a great deal was that I wouldn't replace Charlotte because there isn't any comparison...
"I learned that my new mate was beautiful and smart... that she cares, and would do anything for those she loves... that she always puts others before herself even her safety... that she lost a great deal and that she is hunted by her past as am I... that she would moved here where my brother could watch over her and that would help her ease some of her pain at least when he was close to her. That she would love another vampire before me and suffer ache once again... " he was moving closer to me keeping eye contact as much as possible with all my tears clouding my vision. He knelt before me and took one of my hands in his, pulled it to his lips and kissed the palm of my hand, now revealing all his love for me.
"That my brother and the family that she got attached to have around sudden leaves her... and for me to keep an eye on her..." he looked pained " When James attacked you it was the hardest things that I went through beside losing Charlotte, not being there to protect you and after not been able to hold you and help you heal... It was so hard that I ignored Jasper and went to the hospital to see you... you were so beautiful even in that fragile state... I wanted to rip everybody ...It helped that Jasper killed James. But not that there was the chance that others could hurt you …." he looked down remembering something.
"I heard you." I whispered.
"What?"
"I heard you at the hospital... at the time I thought it was a dream but then everything didn't make sense... but then I saw you when Laurent tried to kill me and you spoke, bringing all the memories forward."
"You heard everything?" I just nodded and if he could cry he would be in tears right now.
"Isabella, I'm sorry that I lied to you and that I hid so much from you..."
"No Peter, I know if you had told me all this before now I would have freaked out..."
"Bella, when Edward broke up with you. I knew what was going to happened also... Jasper and Alice didn't want to go, but I knew that if any of the Cullen's stayed it would have been really difficult for me to get close to you and that Edward would come back too... I know that hurt you so much, and I'm really sorry..."
"It's ok Peter, you did what you had to do... I'm not going to lie and say that that didn't hurt, but I can see the reasons behind it."
"I know that it's too much and that if you need some time by yourself I would understand."
Did I needed time? Do I not feel comfortable with him? All my feelings told me the same thing, even my body the way it reacted to him made me think that for some reason all that he just told me made sense and that we belonged together.
He was getting up and letting my hand fall in my lap, probably thinking that my silence meant I rejected him.
PPOV
Well it could have been a lot worse, she could be telling me to go to hell instead of showing any signs or either way. I know that it was too much to absorb and that she needs her space now that everything is out in the open.
It surprised me when she tried to sympathize with me when I told her about some of the things I have done, most people would have run for the door screaming. But Bella felt sorry for me and told me that I'm not that person anymore, that what I have done was a survival mechanism and that I have become a better man... nobody have ever seen it that way, and even though I still feel guilty for everything I now see that maybe I'm better, I just hope I'm a better man to her.
Even though I still have not put Charlotte's memory to rest I now see that I'm so much close to go where everything started and say goodbye like I was planning to do before all the James' deal happened last year.
I moved to get up letting her hand fall in her lap, I should give her privacy. I think Esme needed to take down some trees down in the back yard, there isn't anything better then to clear some trees in these situations. Frustration is a bitch.
"Peter?" I turned back around not realizing that I almost made it to the door already.
"Mmm?"
"Where are you going?" she asked getting up and staring to follow me.
"Well, I want to give you space and I've heard that Esme is thinking about clearing the backyard."
"I..." she sighed, "I don't want you to go." she whispered, "Plus I don't think Esme would appreciate a destruction of her backyard instead of cleaning it." she gave a soft smile, could it possibly be that she knew me more than I thought?
"You know, I think you are right... but I think I should... I don't know." why this girl could bring so many emotions out of me.
"Wow, that's must be a record." she said smiling even more.
"What's that?"
"I didn't know a vampire could be baffled." she said giggling softly.
"Oh you think that's funny huh?" Just like that she was able to get me out of my glumly mood.
Without giving her time to respond I lifted her softly around the waist and drop her at vampire speed on the sofa.
I started tickling her sides and she was trying to get away from under me.
"So is it still funny?" I said making her laugh even more, god I loved her laugh.
"Ok, Ok you win I'll forget that ever happened." I stopped and realized how close I was to her and seeing her under me started to get a different feeling out of me. We locked our gazes and Bella must have realized our circumstances too because she stopped laughing and stood really still. I wanted to kiss her so bad and by the look in her face shifting to my lips I knew she wanted it too.
I moved slowly giving her a chance to change her mind and letting me know. I kissed her softly at first cupping her face with my hands, and my insides burned when she didn't pull back and started to kiss me back. I deepening the kiss, pouring all my passion for Bella on this kiss.
She put her arms around my neck bringing me even more on top of her.
"Isabella, we should slow down baby." I said when I gave her some time to catch her breath, moving my lips to her neck, noticing for the first time that her blood didn't bother me so much at all.
"No! Please don't." she said a little hurt and scared. Probably thinking that I would turn her down like Eddie boy did.
"Baby, if we don't stop right now I won't be able to later, and the first time with you I don't want it to be on a sofa."
She stopped moving and I pushed myself up a little so I could see her face, she was thinking something seriously and I wasn't sure what I did to make her do that.
"Take me upstairs then Peter." she said a little nervous.
A.N. Please Guys don't forget to review... Thank you, hope you enjoyed it. :0)
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