Welcome to the Insane World of the Romantica Parody. I must warn you; this spoof is totally different from my other parodies. In the past, I've mainly spoof out what they were saying to fit my own psycho story-line. This is almost purely me. Naturally, I've got to use some things from Junjou Romantica, but I've limited this one to the anime. Why not the books? Well, I've just come up with too much BS and am forced to do the anime. It's shorter and there's less dialog. Also, this has a little more BS then the others. OOC, but of course.

Plus: All of my spoofs intertwine somehow. You'll see that Hiroki and Nowaki are just like in the Egoist Spoof.

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica. However, I am counting the days until I can buy it on DVD May 2.

Warnings: A little bit of Yaoi. If you don't like, I have no idea why you're even looking up Junjou fanfictions.

Now, on to the story. Plus don't hate me! Lol.

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Misaki's grades were horrible. He knew he had to improve or he'd never be able to enter the tech school like this. He'd never be able to follow in his brother's footsteps and become a Beautician.

And he only had four months until exams. Then he'd be out of the boring school he'd grown up in, and starting something new. And he'd be following Niichan's dream, even though he himself hadn't been able to complete it.

"With these grades, I won't ever be able to work in Wal-Mart." He sighed as he opened the apartment door, "Brother, I'm…"

He stared open mouthed at the scene before him. His own brother… His brother was in the arms of another guy. And he didn't look too displeased by it.

"Hey, Misaki!" he greeted normally, "This is my friend Usami Akihiko."

It was the worst first impression.

--

A week later I found myself outside the house of Usami Akihiko. Not just to deliver the stew Takahiro'd made for him, but also because I needed a tutor. And sadly, he was the smartest person my brother knew. Little did he know…

I rang the bell a couple of times. It was a huge red button, which was sort of weird. Each time, I received no answer. So I did what any annoying kid would do and tried the door, which naturally was unlocked.

Now is where I mention the guy is insanely rich, and his apartment is huge. The living room itself was the size of my school's cafeteria. Maybe my brother had the right idea, letting someone this incredibly rich hang on him like that.

And because I was so poor and lame, I pretty much just dropped the pot of stew onto his coffee table. I almost sat down to wait for him but I noticed a couple of notes laying on the table. Maybe he'd left one saying he'd gone out and that I should just hang around and watch his flat-screen TV for him for the next two hours.

Sadly no such luck. The first one read: Thanks for the great night. By the way, I only take cash so you'll have to take the check back next time I see you. Love, Kamijou.

The second: "I'm asleep. Don't bother waking me, Aikawa. The damned book is on the table." Then a neater hand writing: "Thank you, Sensei! I'm taking it down to M. Publishing Comp. right now. Don't worry; I'll get the editor that looks just like a mix of Hiroki and Shinobu to look at it, since he's soo into Literature." (1)

Well, that was pointless, Misaki thought. His tutor was asleep and sadly watching The Tutors didn't count as studying. He had no choice but to be noisy and pick up one of the books on the coffee table. Somehow, it didn't look very… Um, normal.

The first hint that it wasn't something he should be reading was that it was pink. Hot pink. And the back cover was covered in half nude guys. Not to mention the un-original title was: 300+ pages of Takahiro and Akihiko doing it.

But Misaki, like his grades proved, was rather dimwitted and didn't realize what the book was until he'd read the first sentence: Censor, censor, censor, Takahiro, censor, censor, tap, censor, Akihiko.

"What the fuck…" Misaki started as he stared down at the graphic text. Okay, there was no way his brother could sink that low.

"What is this crap!?" he yelled, slamming the bedroom door open. "That's you and Niichan! What the hell do you think you are? You can't just…"

A tiny metal spaceship zoomed past his head. Looking around he realized the whole room was filled with nothing but books on… conspiracy?

There was a groan, and he remembered he wasn't alone. There on the bed, a certain silver haired, lavender eyed beast was stirring. Or at least that's want it looked like to Misaki.

"So, you saw it…" he growled, sitting up. And I was afraid. Who wouldn't be? This guy is freaking nuts!

But I knew I had to stand my ground. There was no backing out of this one… "This porno book… It's you and Niichan isn't it? How dare you! I know, he's native and loves money, but you're just taking advantage of him, aren't you? Go find someone else and leave my brother out of this! Any guy will do, right?"

He smirked, "Any guy will do, eh?"

A second later, I'd been thrown onto the bed. My first lesson: Never piss off the guy who's bold enough to write porno's about your brother.

"Let go of me!" I yelled, just like those TV shows said. Yell as loud as you can. Of course, I wasn't really sure if there was anyone to hear me…

I thrust my knee upward into a place where I know it'd hurt. Flipping, I tried to crawl away. Lesson number two: Never turn your back on a pervert.

Lesson three: Don't fight it, it'll only last longer.

"Well, that's was fast," he said a second later, one hand down my pants.

"Bastard." I muttered.

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Sorry this is soo short. I hope no one's majorly mad yet… I mean, I've done the other couples. It's about time I did the main pairing.. Anyway, next chapter will explain more. (And it will contain the actual story-line of this spoof. Thanks for reading!