Naruto: Master of Explosions

By: Pyro Firestorm

Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and everyone else who owns a slice of the Naruto pie. I am not making any money doing this, which bring up the question of why exactly I'm doing this... oh well.

Chapter 1: The Explosive Beginning

Naruto was running. This in itself isn't very weird, unless you consider what he was running from. In this case, several squadrons of chunin were running after him, yelling various painful threats at him. Threats like "Get back here you bastard!" and "I'm gonna kill that brat!" However, before you start assuming, you must first understand the reasoning behind the chase. These chunin were not chasing after him due to the fact that he was the so-called "demon brat." Instead, they were chasing him due to the bombs he planted in the chunin lounge at the Hokage Tower.

You see, early on in life, Naruto managed to sneak into the supply room in the Hokage Tower while he was visiting the Hokage. However, this was no janitorial supply closet. This was a ninja supply closet. Instead of brooms and buckets, you would find kunai and shuriken. What Naruto managed to do, of course, was to find the most destructive thing in the closet. In short, he managed to find the explosive tags. After several hours of destruction, the Hokage needed a new office, Kakashi gained a reason to wear his mask, and Naruto found his new best friend: Explosives.

Over the next 7 years, Naruto experimented with several new demolitions designs, managing to create explosives much more destructive than normal explosive tags, as well as timed explosions, shrapnel explosions, and even exploding senbon. Unfortunately, due to the increasing time spent on explosives, Naruto was as the bottom of his ninja class, not that it mattered to him, of course. And that brings us back to our story.

"You'll never catch me, douches!" Naruto shouted back to the chunin chasing him. Yes, this day had been perfect so far. He had eaten his breakfast ramen, worked on his new explosives, and bombed the chunin lounge. Nothing could ruin this day. Of course, his thoughts enacted Murphy's law. Naruto turned a corner, only to reach a dead end. His thoughts could be summed up in one word: 'Damn!'

Quickly, Naruto's brain went into overdrive. 'OK. I'm surrounded by chunin, there's no escape path, and if I don't do something soon, I'll be caught! What to do, What to do?' Of course, Naruto's brain worked about as well as an unemployed fat guy who lived with his parents. Sometimes, however, Naruto gained a burst of genius. 'I've got it! This is a perfect opportunity to try out my new bomb!' Without wasting time, Naruto pulled out his new explosive, lighting the fuse with a quick burst of chakra. He lobbed it at the advancing chunin, who saw it and flinched, waiting for the explosion.

3... 2... 1...

…

"Oh come on! Where was the giant explosion! I made that so I could create a giant explosion! Come on!!! I mean, that was pathetic! What kind of giant explosion was tha... Damn it!!! I forgot to put in the gunpowder!"

Just like that, the genius disappeared, replaced with stupidity to the extreme.

In no time at all, the chunin apprehended Naruto, tying him up and confiscating all his bombs.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- (This is a section break. =^.^=)

"I keep telling you! I didn't set those bombs!" As you can see, after a stroke of genius, Naruto's brain always becomes twice as stupid as normal.

The Hokage shook his head. "Naruto, we have footage of you planting the bombs."

"The footage can be faked!"

"We also have eyewitnesses who saw you sneaking around underneath a box, humming the Metal Gear Solid theme."

"They're lying!"

"Finally, someone decided to spray paint his name onto the rubble after the bombs went off."

"They could have been trying to frame me!"

"Naruto, look. We know it's you, but I'm going to let you go if you promise to stop planting bombs in the chunin lounge. It's becoming annoying that I have to rebuild the place every other week. Do you understand?"

"Yes, old man!" Naruto shouted. "I promise! Now untie me!"

The Hokage motioned to the chunin guarding the door, and he proceeded to cut Naruto's rope. "Now get to class, Naruto. Today's the ninja exams. You don't want to fail for a third time, do you?"

"Oh shit!" Naruto exclaimed. "See ya later, old man! And one more thing: my fingers were crossed! HAHAHA! Stuff go boom now!" Naruto made a complicated hand seal, and a huge explosion shook the building. "You shouldn't have stored my confiscated bombs in the chunin lounge! Another win for colossal explosive damage! I rule!" With that, Naruto sped off to the Ninja Academy.

The Hokage turned and glared at the chunin guard. "What?" the chunin said. "It was the only place big enough to store all his explosive devices!"

The Hokage just shook his head once more. 'What did I do to deserve this? Which deity did I tick off?'

The Ninja Academy. There, the next generation of ninjas are trained. There, the epitome of ninja are born. There, mini-soldiers of death are created to obey their leader with utmost respect... wait... I'm thinking of the ANBU training center. At the Ninja Academy, overstressed parents send their little hellions to learn about killing and chakra, all the while hoping that they'll become a casualty on their next mission so they no longer need to pretend to care about them, returning to their everyday normal lives. Little do the little hellio... um, prospective ninjas know that most of them will spend their entire career as genin, due to the fact that they're too stupid to pass the chunin exams. More on that later. Now let's check up on our favorite little destructive spaz, shall we?

"Ochiri Natsu?"

"Here."

"Tsuchiri Chiro?"

"Here."

"Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Uzumaki Naruto?"

… "Naruto, are you here?"

… "NARUTO! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"

Just as Iruka, the academy teacher, was about to blow a gasket, a loud boom came from outside the window, and an explosion busted a hole in the wall leading outside. When the dust cleared, Naruto was standing in the hole he made in the wall. This, of course, did not gain a positive response from Iruka.

"NARUTO! What did I tell you about blowing holes in the academy walls?"

Naruto just grinned, flipped Iruka off, and sat down. Iruka glared at Naruto for a few more seconds, before looking at the rest of the class and continuing. "Yamanaka Ino?"

"Here."

Mizuki, Iruka's classroom help, then cleared his throat and addressed the class. "As you all know, today is the ninja exams. If you manage to get an acceptable score, then you will walk out of here with a brand new headband. However, if you FAIL..." At this point, Mizuki looked straight at Naruto, who laughed awkwardly while scratching his head. "If you fail, you will be forced to redo your entire last year. Got it, brats? Any questions?"

A student slowly raised his hand, and started to speak. "What are we being tested on?"

Mizuki started to laugh. At first, it was a quiet chuckle, but it quickly became a full-blown maniacal laugh. After a minute or so, the laughter died down, and he looked straight at the kid who asked the question. "Do you honestly think that we'd tell you what's on the exam? You fail right now, for being such a naive moron. Now get out of this classroom."

The student was shocked for a moment, before beginning to speak again. "But you asked if we had a question..."

"That didn't mean that I would answer you! Now get out!"

"B-but..."

"I said GET OUT!"

The unlucky student stood up and slowly made his way out of the classroom. After a moment's pause, Mizuki spoke again. "Now it's time for the written exam. Everyone get ready."

Naruto sighed. This day was going much better before he got caught by those chunin. The written exam went terribly. 'If only I had stayed awake during class. But if I had, then I would have had less time to develop explosives.' Next came the taijutsu exam. Naruto did rather well due to the fact that he had incredible endurance. 'And the old man thought that all those pranks were a terrible idea. Running from furious ninja is a great workout.' Now Naruto was waiting for his name to be called so he could do the final part of the exam: the ninjutsu portion. 'I hope that I get tested on something I can do, not the stupid bunshin. The karawami is OK because it makes a smoke explosion, and the henge is a great way to hide bombs from people. Why would I want to know the bunshin? It doesn't even explode!'

Finally, it was Naruto's turn to be tested. When he heard his name, he stood up and went to the room used for the final portion. When he entered, Mizuki told him to show them the bunshin. Naruto complied, while mentally cursing and promising to blow up the houses of all the ninja affiliated with choosing the test material.

"OK! Here we go! Bunshin no Jutsu!"

The exam proctors immediately sweat dropped. Behind Naruto were two sickly clones, one of which screaming, "I'm an abomination of nature! Put me out of my misery!" while the other merely clawed the air, unable to form words.

Iruka stood up and said, "Naruto, for this bastardization of an academy jutsu, you fail this portion of the genin exams. With this fail, you do not make requirements to pass the exam, due to two failing grades but only one passing grade."

As Naruto started leaving the room, Mizuki piped up. "Aw, come on, Iruka. Go easy on the kid. He did manage to make copies of himself." He gestured at the clones, both trying to claw their illusionary eyes out.

Iruka only shook his head. "Everyone we passed was able to make clones that not only were able to stand up, but also juggle 5 shuriken, breathe fire, and go super saiyan. All Naruto's clones can do are wriggle about and moan. If this jutsu was supposed to make emos, then he would pass, but it's supposed to make illusionary clones, so he fails."

Naruto sighed and dejectedly left the room, ignoring the two clones determined to end their misery.

Naruto sighed to himself for what felt to be the third time that day. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't make perfect clones. It was a stupid technique anyways. He hopped off the swing he had been sitting on, getting ready to go home, when Mizuki came up and greeted him. "Hey Naruto. Sorry about today. I thought that you should pass, but Iruka didn't agree. If it makes you feel better, I went to the academy with Iruka, and he couldn't do the henge to save his life. Look at him now, though. Chunin rank, teaching you little brats how to be ninjas. He was just looking out for you. The bunshin can be very useful for a successful ninja. You just need to work harder, and you'll succeed. You got that?"

During Mizuki's little speech, Naruto visibly brightened. Once he was done talking, Naruto stood up and said, "You're right, Mizuki! I just need to go train more! Now if you excuse me, I need to go annoy the old man to see if he'll give me some training tips!"

Mizuki just shook his head as he watched Naruto run off. "Two more things, Naruto!" he called out. "Another teacher, Jirokichi (1), wants to see you about something. He said there was a way to get extra credit and possibly pass this year. Also, when do you want that ramen I owed you?"

Naruto turned back and said, "Thanks Mizuki! I'll get that ramen you owe me anytime you're free!" Then he ran off in the direction of the academy.

When Naruto got back to his classroom, Jirokichi was waiting for him. "What did you want to tell me, Jirokichi? Something about extra credit?"

The man was silent for a bit, then spoke. "Correct, Uzumaki. This will test your stealth, as well as your ability to learn and succeed under pressure. I want you to sneak into the Hokage tower and steal a scroll called The Forbidden Scroll. Then, you are to take the scroll to a small shack in training grounds no. 44, called the Forest of Death. I want you to learn at least one jutsu from it. I will meet you there at midnight, and you will show me the jutsu you picked out. If you can perform it successfully, you will graduate, and join your peers in becoming ninjas. Do you understand?"

Naruto immediately shook his head no, and Jirokichi had to explain it three more times until Naruto finally got it. Once Naruto understood, he accepted the deal and went off to prepare for that night, completely unaware of the evil smirk on Jirokichi's face.

Naruto smirked to himself. All the times he had snuck into the Hokage tower so he could plant bombs in the chunin lounge had finally paid off. He had just found the scroll in the old man's office, and he was ready to get to the shack Jirokichi had told him about. Just then, he heard movement. Looking around, Naruto came face to face with the old man himself. "Oh shit."

The Hokage was getting ready to go home after a long day in the office when he heard sounds from his office. Peeking in, he saw a thief making off with The Forbidden Scroll. He quietly walked into the room, determined to find the identity of the thief. To his surprise, the thief was Naruto. While the Hokage was trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Naruto was thieving, Naruto quickly whispered, "I'm sorry," and threw a small pellet that soundlessly poofed into smoke, spreading a sleeping gas around. Normally, the Hokage would be prepared for something like that, but in his shocked state, the gas got to him and put him out like a light. Naruto sighed yet again and opened the window in the office, leaping out into the night.

Naruto made it to the shack in record time. Apparently all the nasty beasties that lived in the Forest of Death slept during the night. Once there, he opened up the scroll, he began to read. "Let's see. What do we have here... Kage Bunshin... Ugh! I just got an incredible scroll, and the first technique is a bunshin technique! This sucks... wait, what's this technique you can do with it? The Bunshin Daibakuha (Great Clone Explosion)? Hell yes! No one ever told me that you could blow things up with jutsu! OK! Let's learn this Jutsu!"

Let the training commence.

When the Hokage came to, he immediately alerted the chunin of the village. "Listen up, everybody. As much as it pains me to say it, it seems that Naruto has stolen The Forbidden Scroll. I need you to use your skill gained from chasing Naruto around to find him, recover the scroll, and bring him to me, ALIVE! GO!"

At the command, the chunin all scattered, searching for the orange menace that constantly blew up the chunin lounge. Jirokichi smirked to himself, surprised that Naruto had managed to get the scroll, before racing off to the meeting place. Unbeknownst to him, Mizuki saw the smirk on his face, and decided to follow Jirokichi to see what he was up to.

Naruto sat with his back to the shack, panting and out of breath. It had taken him two hours, but Naruto had managed to perfect the Bunshin Daibakuha, and by extension the Kage Bunshin. Now he just had to wait for Jirokichi to arrive, and he would become a genin. This was the scene Mizuki had come upon. After following Jirokichi, he noticed that he was heading for the storage shack in the Forest of Death, so after subtly using a misdirection genjutsu, he raced to the shack to confront Naruto.

Naruto looked up when he heard noise, and he saw Mizuki coming up to him. "Hey Mizuki! Did Jirokichi send you to pass me? I managed to learn some jutsu from The Forbidden Scroll, liked he told me to!"

'Just as I thought.' Mizuki responded to Naruto, "Naruto, Jirokichi tricked you. He's probably using you to steal the forbidden scroll!"

"So it looks like someone figured it out. Congratulations, Mizuki." Both Naruto and Mizuki looked to the noise, seeing Jirokichi walking up. "It's too bad you have to die," he said, pulling out a handful of shuriken.

"Crap! The genjutsu was supposed to give us more time!" Mizuki shouted, pulling out his two fūma shuriken (2) and holding them ready.

"So it was you who diverted me," Jirokichi mused. "A good plan, but you forgot that I am a master of illusion!" At that point, Jirokichi began madly cackling to himself. He calmed down and was preparing to throw his shuriken when he saw Naruto putting his hands into a cross position.

"Hey Jiro-creepy! Check this out! I managed to master some jutsu from The Scroll! Kage Bunshin!" When Naruto said that, ten shadow clones popped into existence.

"Impressive, Naruto. Unfortunately, ten shadow clones will not help you defeat me!" Jirokichi madly cackled.

"I never said I was done! Go, my beauties! Grab him!" At this command, the ten shadow clones rushed at Jirokichi and grabbed onto him. Jirokichi simply let him, intrigued at what Naruto would do next. "Now eat this! Bunshin Daibakuha!" At this point, Jirokichi realized that he was screwed, and while the clones grabbing him began to glow, he muttered "Oh shi..." A loud explosion, and Jirokichi was no more.

Mizuki, seeing that Naruto managed to defeat a potential deserter, walked up to him. "Good job, Naruto! Even though this wasn't actually a make-up exam, you managed to show that you were able to create clones. I believe that the Hokage would be willing to let you pass!"

Naruto grinned and said, "Thanks, Mizuki! We should probably return the scroll to the old man now."

Mizuki agreed, and the two began walking back to the Hokage tower. "One last thing, Mizuki," Naruto said.

"What?"

"You know how you said I wouldn't be able to bomb the chunin lounge three times in one day?"

Mizuki nodded, wondering where Naruto was going with this.

"Well, it looks like you were wrong, and now you owe me two lunches at Ichiraku's." As soon as the words left his mouth, an earth-shaking explosion came from the direction of the Hokage tower. Naruto smirked to himself. Yep, today turned out to be an incredible day.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- End Chapter 1 -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Congratulations! You have just read the first chapter of the first story written by me, Pyro Firestorm! I hope you enjoyed it! Now, on to answering questions about the story that you might want to ask:

Firstly, as you can see, this story is going to be non-canon. You can only read so many iterations of, say, the mission to wave, before you want to tear your hair out in agony. I will be using events that happen in the canon, but I will try to do something more than just same old, same old.

Also, for people who read the first message, but still want to ask why Mizuki didn't trick Naruto, I must say that I like Mizuki. He's an interesting character who, at the beginning, looks like he actually likes Naruto. Also, no offense to people who like Iruka more, but all that he has been shown to do is teach children to become ninja. Mizuki, on the other hand, has the awesome power of dual-wield fūma shuriken. That is just awesome!

Now here are the notes from the story:

I chose this name for a reason. According to Wikipedia, there was a Japanese thief named Nakamura Jirokichi who was apparently very successful. I gave his name to the chunin who was planning on stealing The Forbidden Scroll. Fitting, I believe.

Taken from Narutopedia: "A large, four-bladed shuriken possessing preeminent sharpness and lethality. This type of shuriken is considered characteristic to the famous Fūma clan, after whom they were named and who possibly developed them. However, their use is not limited to this clan. Its four blades can be collapsed for easy storage, leading to its nickname Shadow Windmill (影風車, Kage Fūsha)."

Review if you want to. I'm not going to put this story on hold until I get a specific number of reviews. However, reviews and feedback are how authors get better at writing, so if you see bad spelling or grammar, or if you have a piece of advice or criticism, review, and let me know!

Finally, about pairings. I neither have the ability nor the desire to write out a romance. This story is mainly adventure, with some comedy thrown in. So if you have the desire to see your favorite characters getting it on, then go read a different story, because there won't be any in this one.

Firestorm, singing off.