Title: Never Let Go
Pairing: Logan/Remy
Author: Gothabilly13

Warning: violence, m/m sex, slash, no con, swearing and other nasty things my mind comes up with

Notes: This is my own AU. The Gothabilly World if you will. I take great liberties with cannon and facts, making my own mishmash of the Marvel world. Beta'd by me so mistakes are my own. A WIP and who knows how long it will go.
Feedback is welcomed greatly!!!!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 1

Westchester, NY

Remy LeBeau sat on the roof of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters and blew long plumes of blue smoke out of his plush lips. He was watching the sunset with out any feeling or thought about the vivid colors. He was hallow, empty, broken. His heart wanted to hope, it wanted to believe but the images kept playing over and over in an endless loop in his head.

Blood, claws, bones that glistened with alien metal, visceral colored organs ripped asunder.

NO!

Rubbing his eyes with his hand Remy tossed the butt away after charging it. The filter exploded with more force then intended and caused the boy to startle. He had been this way for weeks now. Ever since Logan left for the simple fact finding mission that ended in the worst way possible.

At the worst possible time.

Remy had just gotten back to himself. Had recovered fully from his ordeal in the frozen wasteland. Things were falling back into a fairly good groove. He spent quality time with Storm tending her plants and helping her in the garden. Challenged Bobby to endless matches on the Wii system, eating junk food and taking trash. Made careful and civil overtures of friendship to Rogue. Irritating Cyke in any way he could every chance he got. Helping Jean with the cooking, making her laugh the whole time. Assisting Jubes to hone her power in the Danger Room. And of course racing, drinking and general knocking about with Logan.

God. Logan.

Just the thought of his name made Remy's heart clench. He couldn't pin point the moment he knew his feelings toward the burly feral mutant had deepened but he knew it was there.

A tangible energy between them. A glance across the felt of the pool table at Harry's, a smirk to the side as Remy mouthed off to Scott, a look of concern and a hand on the Cajun's shoulder after a brutal mission. It was there, they both felt it, they both ached from it. But neither had the balls to speak it aloud. And now Remy would never get the chance.

Logan, The Mighty Wolverine, was dead.

"Fuck!" he snarled and blinked the burn from his wicked eyes and got up. He had been sitting there for hours, the sun long set and the moon ghosting her way across the sky let the cajun know he had lost another evening to morose musings and painful pondering.

He made his way to the skylight into Storm's loft and jumped down. Landing on cat's feet he tiptoed his way through her room as the weather Goddess slumbered. He envied her ability to find rest. Remy hadn't been able to sleep through the night in weeks. His nightmares wracking his very soul as they found new and more painful ways to torture him. And now Logan wasn't there to keep him company, smoking on the porch as he shook off the horrors of his dreams.

Slipping from 'Ro's room he padded down the hall and wandered the mansion aimlessly. He missed Logan with such an acute feeling it was like a great shard of glass lodged in his chest that wouldn't come free. Why hadn't he ever said something? Why had he let the chances come and go and never opened his mouth to tell the gruff but honorable man how much the thief loved him?

No chance now.

It had gone so wrong so fast. Logan went off on a rare solo mission to speak with a rural farmer about an attack on the small town by Sabertooth. Gambit couldn't even recall now why Logan had gone by himself and why no one had questioned it. Why he had gone alone to track Victor Creed.

Remy's lips curled back in a vicious snarl at the thought of the bestial mutant. His heart flamed with such hate that his hands began to glow. Seeing the pinkish energy flicker over his fingers Remy took a deep breath and drew back the charge.

Logan had gone, had tried to find the farmer but got ambushed by Creed himself. They fought, with a ferocity Remy had yet to see the Wolverine express. Creed true to his MO played dirty, he snapped an inhibitor cuff on Logan's wrist in the midst of battle. His healing factor stifled Logan began to falter. Soon he fell and Creed took great pleasure in laying the feral open in a gruesome mockery of vivisection.

Remy gagged. His hand covering his mouth as he leaned against the wall outside Xavier's office and he sucked in a deep breath sobbing on the out gasp. The screams had been horrifying. God he couldn't imagine the pain.

Creed had Archlight film the whole thing and sent the charnel house footage to the X-Men. They sat in the War Room, all stunned and pale as they watched the monster rip Logan apart and at some points eat his flesh. When he was done he turned to the camera with a bloody grin and held up a...limb? Metal coated bone glistening in the sunlight and the distinct color left no doubt as to whom it came from. Sabertooth smirked and spoke two words before the video cut off.

"I win."

Storm and Jean leaned against each other sobbing together. Bobby, unable to control his response barfed on the floor, Beast at his side rubbing his back as tears spilled down his furred cheeks. Scott stood ridged and coiled, his jaw muscle flexing as he clenched his teeth. Rogue stared in stunned horror her face blank as she couldn't process the information. Jubilee wept openly crying out 'No' over an over. Charles bowed his head in sorrow.

Remy had watched the body behind Creed willing it to flinch, twitch ANYTHING. But it hadn't. His world swirled around him and he shoved the chair back from the table so hard it hit the wall. He ran.

Ran with all he had to the Danger Room. Fumbling with the keypad he made it inside just before the uncontrollable charge escaped and exploded. He stayed in there a while releasing the energy and slowly trying to understand. Finally sagging to the floor as he sobbed like a child. Hank came to collect him when the young man passed out.

They had searched the site, found bits of Logan's uniform, a few teeth but not Logan. His body was just gone. Charles had looked for Logan's signature with Cerebro for days but came up with nothing. It wasn't a 100% that he would have found Logan had he been alive but he had to try something. They all felt so frustrated and useless. In essence they had stood by and watched their friend and team mate die most horribly. It ate at their souls.

Remy paced to the back patio and stepped out into the cool night air. He ran his hands through his long hair pulling at it a little feeling insane. Why did he continue to hope? Why couldn't he grieve? There was something in his chest the kept twisting telling him they had missed something.

Gambit was determined to figure out what. Even if it killed him. He would bring Logan home dead or alive. Huffing at the thought he turned on his heel and ran up the stairs. He gather the bare essentials from his room and wrote a quick note. Pinning the note to Storm's door he left his com badge on Scott's desk and slipped out to the garage.

Walking the bike down the driveway to the gates he climbed on and kicked it to life. Settling his shoulders Remy turned to the right and revved the engine.

"Hang on Cher. Remy comin'." he mumbled and took off into the night.