A Quiet Goodbye

Part 9

By: ioanhoratio

Here's an update! Special thanks to VanCee123, Dine89, and afrozenheart412. And at DLChem, thanks to Rhylee, Juliab24, daytimedream, hms, tinihasbi, TASolo, Jess25, & m&m:]. It's because of you guys (and your gentle prodding…you know how you are) that I enjoy writing so much. Thanks for sticking with me and this story!

7W 6D

"Yo Messer, why don't you save some for the rest of us?" Don Flack called out to his friend who was currently pouring himself one of the largest cups of coffee Don had ever seen. Danny set the pot down and turned to the detective. "Whoa!" Don cried, taking in the other man's haggard appearance. "Never mind man, you take what you need."

With a grunt of disdain Danny merely turned back to his cup and emptied a small tub of creamer into it.

Don frowned and asked with manly concern, "Seriously dude, everything a'right?"

Danny didn't answer at first, instead he finished stirring his drink, then rewarded himself with a sip of the steaming fortifying liquid. Finally, feeling the warmth spread through his body helping him feel a little more awake, Danny answered, "Jus' been a long week's all."

"By the looks of it you haven't slept since Monday," Don observed.

Danny's face scrunched up slightly as he thought, then asked, his voice scratchy and tired, "What day is it?"

"Friday," Don smirked.

Danny pretended to mentally calculate the days, miming how long it may have been since he last slept and finally shrugged, "Sounds about right."

Don gave a light chuckle, though judging by the dark circles under Danny's half closed eyes, he wasn't entirely sure it was meant as a joke. Sensing his current line of questioning wasn't going to get him anywhere, Don tried a new approach. "How's Lindsay doin'?"

"She's good," Danny mumbled, trying to swallow down a yawn.

"She's good? That's all ya got?" Don replied in disbelief.

With a roll of his shoulders, Danny set his cup down and rubbed his face in frustration, before demanding, "Waddya want from me Don? The gory details? It's a puke fest from sun up to sun down."

Don grimaced and groaned, "Ah, man, Messer, that's gross."

"You're the one who wanted the heart to heart," Danny accused, his exhaustion translating into petulance.

"Excuse me for carin' about my friends," Don bit back.

The two men glowered at each other with matching expressions of indignation.

Danny broke first, and with a sigh, offered, "Sorry. I'm jus' a little stressed right now."

Don nodded his acceptance and said, "No problem."

The silence stretched between them for a moment until Don finally pressed, "So, ya gonna tell me what's goin' on or am I gonna hafta wrestle it outta ya?"

"You wish," Danny grumbled, proving that despite his weariness he wasn't about to let Don think he could best him in a wrestling match.

Don just shook his head, a small smile on his lips. He said nothing as he pulled a chair away from the break room table and sat, waiting.

Throwing his hands in the air in surrender, Danny used his foot to drag one of the chairs back and plopped down. He set his cup on the table and declared unceremoniously, "I'm an ass."

Caught off guard by the non sequitur, Don responded with the first thing that popped in his head. "Yeah, what else is new?"

"Now see," Danny blustered, starting to stand, "I try an' talk to you..."

"A'right, sorry man," Don overrode him, grabbing his sleeve and tugging him back down, "Sorry, you jus' made it too easy. Sit down. I'll shut up."

Danny looked skeptical.

"I'm serious, I swear, I'm all ears," Don promised with a smile.

"Yeah you are," Danny grumbled, and was pleased to see Don frown, reaching up to rub his ears self-consciously.

"That's cold Mess," Don whined. "Now quit stallin' an' tell me why you're an ass."

Danny brought a hand to his chin and scratched lightly at the hair there before saying, "I need a break."

Don gave him a confused look. "A break from what?"

Danny hesitated, struggling with his feelings. "From...Lindsay, Lucy, work, my ma, you name it," he confessed, looking at Flack, his expression uncertain.

Don carefully schooled his features into a blank expression as he nodded. He didn't want his surprise to discourage Danny from continuing. He struggled with a response, not expecting to hear his friend complain about his family. Don couldn't think of a time when he'd heard Danny saying anything against Lindsay or Lucy. Using his years of experience as an investigator, Don followed his instincts to listen and prompted easily, "What's goin' on?"

Seeing that his companion wasn't going to jump down his throat at his admission, Danny continued, "I don't know man, maybe I jus' need a chance to regroup. I thought I knew every thing Lindsay took care of in a day, but I didn't. I come home after a 10 or 12 hour shift, and there are about 15 chores that have to be done before bed, an' that doesn't include keepin' Lucy entertained. I thought Linds and I were a pretty good team, but I jus' didn't realize she took care of so much at home. And Lindsay is goin' crazy on bed rest. I think she's more stressed doin' nothin' than if she had an insurmountable list of things to do. She feels sick all day, she's irritable and hormonal with no outlet except for me. I come home every day afraid I'm gonna walk into our bedroom an' jus' find a Lindsay shaped hole in the wall."

Don couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped at the image Danny painted, but Danny didn't even seem to hear him.

"An' Lucy is clingy and whiney 'cause she doesn't understand the change in her routine. She loves my ma, but when I get home she doesn't want me to put her down or be away from 'er for more than two seconds. She hasn't been sleepin' too good, wakin' up cryin' and fussin' all night, which breaks Lindsay's heart 'cause she thinks she's to blame and wants to be able to get up an' help, but of course I won't let 'er so she's back to bein' pissed at me, then I get pissed. Then I hear her pukin' her guts out, or moanin' 'cause she feels so nauseated and I feel like a total douche."

Danny ran a hand through his short hair, causing the ends to stand up. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "An' the worst part is I know Lindsay is as scared as I am about what could happen with the baby, but we're both too afraid to say the words. Ya know? What if she stays sick the entire pregnancy? What if somethin' happens to her, or the baby? I was scared with Lucy, but it was a different kinda scared. I guess I was too ignorant to know all the dangers that came with a pregnancy. Seein' Linds so sick and hearin' the doctor say there could be a problem, I don't know...I jus'...I don't know. And all I can think about is havin' an hour to myself. I'm the jerk that got'er pregnant. She can't take an hour off from bein' sick..." Danny trailed off, his head down, as he waited for his friend's condemnation.

Don felt wildly out of his league. He knew nothing about babies, pregnancy, or marriage, but he could at least off his friendship. "Danny, I didn't realize you guys were dealin' with so much," he began lamely, but was cut off as Mac walked in.

"Danny," the older man said quickly, "we've got a scene."

"What?" Danny asked, "Mac, I only got an hour left. If I go to a scene now there's no way I'm makin' it home in time."

"I'm sorry Danny," Mac said sincerely, "but with Lindsay out sick and Hawkes in court, I don't have enough to cover. I need you to stay late." With his jaw set, Mac waited a moment to gage Danny's response. When the younger man sighed and only nodded in resignation Mac added, "Grab your kit and meet me in the garage." He then turned and strode down the hall.

Danny shoved away from the table angrily. "Shit," he breathed. "Now I getta call my ma and ask 'er to stay late, an' get to hear an earful from her about how I'm workin' too hard and how I've got responsibilities at home."

"Danny," Don said, trying to stop his friend, but Danny cut him off with a wave of his hand as he fished his cell phone out of his back pocket.

"Don't worry about it Don," Danny assured him, "Sorry I laid it on ya, but thanks for...uh...listenin'. It helped." With that he exited the room, not seeing the look of worry on his co-worker's face.

It was late by the time Danny trudged through his front door. The apartment was dimly lit, only a single lamp was on in the living room, though the flickering of the TV provided some additional illumination. His mom looked up from the late night program she had been watching and gave him a tired smile.

"Hey Ma," he greeted quietly.

She stood, stretching her arms out, and yawned. "Hello Son," she returned, beginning to gather her belongings. "Sorry to run out on ya, but I'm tired an' wanna get home. There's food in the oven, jus' warm it up on 350 for about 10 minutes. Lucy's been bathed and is asleep, but you should know she's in your bed." She raised her manicured hand, stopping any comment from Danny. "An' I don't wanna hear any grief about it. Lindsay needed time with her daughter, and that baby girl needed her mother tonight. There was nothin' I could do to get 'er to calm down. All she wanted was her mama."

Danny nodded, too tired to argue, too tired to even want to argue. "Thanks Ma. I know this week hasn't been too easy on you either. I appreciate ya takin' time out of your life to help us."

Gina Messer reached out to her over-extended child and took his chin in her hand. "You're a good boy, an' you gotta good family. I love helpin' but you two need to figure this out before it kills you both." She smacked a kiss against his cheek, then wiped the red stain that had been left by her lipstick.

"I left my cab runnin' down stairs, and gave him enough to cover your ride home," Danny told her, "And don't forget, tomorrow I've got the day off so you don't have to worry about comin' over."

Gina nodded, "Call me if ya need me." And with a wave she was out the door.

Danny sighed as he set his bag down and toed off his shoes. His body longed to stretch out on the couch and fall into oblivion, but his stomach growled at him, reminding him that it had been hours since he'd had anything to eat. He wondered into the kitchen, turned the oven on, not even bothering to see what was in there, and set to emptying the dish washer his mom had been kind enough to load and run.

Danny's mouth began to water as the aromas coming from the oven filled the air. It wasn't long before he was pulling out the, homemade margherita pizza. Danny stood at the stove, in the darkened kitchen, and devoured his meal, alone. He didn't even bother with a plate, since he knew it would require cleaning. He ate quickly, not liking the silence, and soon headed towards the bedroom he shared with his wife. He walked as softly as possible, not wanting to risk waking anyone. The bathroom light was on, casting a harsh yellow light across the bottom of the bed, allowing Danny to clearly see is two girls snuggled up next to each other fast asleep. He had briefly contemplated carrying Lucy back to her own bed, but seeing them together, and knowing his own need to be with his family, he rejected the idea. Instead, he moved to the bathroom and as quickly and quietly as possible he brushed his teeth, peeled off his work clothes to replace them with his comfy night clothes. Then he moved to the bed, leaving the light on incase Lucy woke up in the night, and lay his body down next to his little girl and wife. Lucy shifted in her sleep, bringing an arm out and smacking him in the face.

Danny couldn't help the small chuckle that found it's way to his lips. Lucy slowly opened one eye and gazed at him. "Hi Daddy," she greeted in her tiny, sleep-laden voice.

"Hi baby girl," Danny whispered, pulling her hand away from his face.

Lucy blinked owlishly at him, and said, "I tate you... I...I tate you...see montees wif mommy."

Danny gave a small snort of laughter, not having a clue what his daughter was talking about and knowing she was still mostly asleep. He smiled, and instructed softly, "That's good. Go back to sleep baby."

Lucy had no response, but simply did as her father instructed and closed her eyes, falling instantly back into her dream world. Danny kissed her forehead, then directed his gaze to his slumbering spouse. He loved to watch her sleep, not just because she was beautiful, but because it filled him with a sense of pride and accomplishment, that she was so willing to be vulnerable with him, to trust him, to rely on him, and him alone. It was his body she nestled close to, his hand she sought, his pillow she would steal, his voice she wanted to lull her to sleep when they would stay up late talking.

"I miss you," he breathed softly, suddenly realizing that was why he felt so drained. Yes, he saw her every day, and yes he slept next to her every night, but the passed week of her being on bed rest had meant working without her, parenting without her, running errands without her, being without her. Emotions overwhelmed him unexpectedly as Danny pondered what his life would be like without her. He let out a harsh breath and shook his head, he couldn't bring himself to think about it.

He reached out, desperate to make contact, and rested his hand against her slightly rounded stomach. "Baby," came his strangled whisper, "my baby..." but no more words made it out. He forced deep breathes in and out as he marveled at the little life under his hand. After Lucy had been born Danny realized that his love for his child was unconditional, that he would be able to love any child of his, but knowing he shared that child with Lindsay had filled him with awe. Knowing that once again they would be welcoming a new life into their home, a life they created together, left him speechless.

"Danny?" Lindsay croaked sleepily.

Danny looked up at her and saw the same one-eye-open-semi-conscious expression on his wife's face that he had seen on their daughter's a moment earlier.

"What's wrong?" she asked him, forcing her other eye open and blinking rapidly, trying to clear away the sleep induced fog, as she tried to focus on his face.

Danny smiled at her, wiping quickly at the suspicion liquid that had gathered in his eyes. "Nothin' babe," he assured her quietly, "jus' takin' a minute to count my blessings."

Lindsay gave him her toothy grin, and Danny felt his heart wanting to burst.

"Damn it," he growled, "would you please have a boy 'cause I use to have a pair, but since you two came along I've turned into a total pansy. I swear I'm gonna wind up gettin' a period before Lucy does."

Lindsay's snort of laughter brought a smile to his face.

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes, "You were always this soft; you just weren't always man enough to show it." She brought her hand to rest atop his on her belly and squeezed, adding, "and I think there is plenty of proof that you've still got a pretty decent pair on you."

"Montana!" Danny whispered harshly, using his free hand to indicate to his ears, then to the sleeping Lucy.

Lindsay shook her head. "Like you haven't said worse in front of her," she accused playfully, "and besides she's zonked."

"I noticed," Danny chided easily.

Lindsay sighed irritably. "Don't be mad. It didn't cause any exertion to snuggle with my baby girl until she fell asleep."

Danny reached up and ran his hand through her short hair, giving her a small, contrite smile, an offering of peace. "I'm not mad," he assured her softly, "I…I'm sorry I've been such a hard ass this week about this. I know it hasn't been easy on you and I think I may have made things harder. I jus'…I was just worried, and probably more than a little freaked out."

"Danny…" Lindsay breathed sadly.

"Let me finish," he pressed, "I need to say that I've been really scared about all this an' I'm sorry I didn't handle it better. I love you an' I love this little baby. I jus' wanted to take care of you, all of you."

"You do," Lindsay interjected, no longer able to listen to his confession, "you're a great daddy, and a wonderful husband, even when you were driving me crazy I knew you were only trying to help, and I should probably apologize too. I haven't handled this well either. I know I've been fighting you, and taking out my frustrations on you, and…I guess freaked out is the best way to say it, I was freaked out—am freaked out—and I'm sorry."

"We're a pretty sorry pair, aren't we?" Danny said off-handedly.

The two parents stared at each other in silence for a moment before Lindsay let out a snicker of laughter. Danny quickly followed suit and soon the harder they fought to quiet their giggles, the more hilarious everything became. It didn't matter than neither of them had a clue what they were laughing at, it just mattered that they were laughing.

"Shh!" Lindsay tried to chastise, but the effort to speak and to not laugh caused a small snort to escape, which only prompted more laughter from the duo.

"You gotta stop," Danny pleaded, "or we're gonna wake up baby girl."

"Me?" Lindsay chuckled, "What am I doing? You're the one making me laugh."

Danny forced a few deep breaths in and let them out slowly. Lindsay tried as well, and after a few failed attempts, the couple finally calmed down. They lay in the quiet darkness, listening to the gentle snoring coming from their daughter. Danny felt more relaxed than he had allowed himself to feel all week.

A faint rumbling sound broke the spell of contentment and Danny's questioning gaze snapped to Lindsay's face.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Was that your stomach?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think I'm hungry," Lindsay admitted.

"Really?" Danny cried, the last half of the word raising an octave.

"I…" Lindsay paused to focus on her body, "Yeah, I think so."

"Whadya wanna eat? I'll make you anything you want," Danny promised excitedly, untangling himself from the bed covers.

Not wanting to press her luck, Lindsay asked for cheese toast, and grinned as she watched her husband happily scurry from the room with promises of the best cheese toast she'd ever tasted—although how he could make toasted bread with a melted slice of cheese on top taste any better was beyond her. In the five minutes it took Danny to prepare the late night snack, Lindsay marveled at her returning appetite. She still wasn't ready to jump into a full course meal, but she hadn't felt the desire to eat in several weeks, and the fact that she was actually feeling hungry was a good sign.

"A'right babe," Danny declared, still keeping his voice low, "I got one order of cheese toast for ya."

He handed her the plate of warm bread and placed a glass of water on the table next to her, then sat and watched her.

Lindsay felt funny with him starring at her so intently, but knew it was pointless to argue; instead she picked up a slice and began to nibble on a crunchy corner. She waited for the now customary roll of her insides, but it never came. Lindsay took a bigger bite and chewed slowly.

Danny raised his eyebrows in question, and Lindsay swallowed. She took a sip of water, waited another few seconds then took another bite, and another. It wasn't long before she was handing an empty plate to Danny.

"Hot damn, Montana. I love a girl with an appetite," Danny teased, setting the plate down on their dresser. He crawled back into bed. "Still feelin' good?"

Lindsay nodded, snuggling down into the covers. "I'll let you know if I need the puke bucket."

"Such pillow talk," Danny joked, then beamed. "This is good babe. I'm glad you ate. This's gotta mean things are changin' an' gettin' better."

"Yeah, I guess I just needed to get to the end of my first trimester," Lindsay sighed happily, her eyelids growing heavy, "I'm glad things are finally changing."

To be continued…

Thanks for reading!

Things are going to get rather Lindsay-heavy soon, so I figured a little Danny-centered chapter was called for. So, too maudlin? Too goofy? What did you think? And I apologize, I didn't have much time to proof read this (especially the last half) so I hope you can ignore the typos and whatnot. Thanks!