"Hey." Tony greeted Ziva as he sat at his desk.

"Hey." Ziva responded as she glanced at him quickly and turned back to her computer.

"What are you doing tonight?" Tony asked cautiously sensing his partner's tension.

"Nothing." She shrugged feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.

"Well, don't you want to know what I'm doing?" Tony teased but the smile immediately left his face when she laughed slightly.

"I do not need to be told, Tony." She said with an evil twitch of a smile. "I can guess."

"Oh?" Tony asked as he stood from his desk and leaned against hers so he was next her. "What am I doing?"

"Can we not play this game, Tony?" she asked. A strange plea in her eyes as she looked up at him. "I just don't feel like it tonight."

"What game?" Tony asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Seriously, Tony." Ziva said shaking her head. "Please."

"What's wrong?" Tony asked not bothering to move from his position, despite how close he was to her.

"Nothing is wrong." Ziva growled as she clenched her fists. "Can you just stop?"

"No." Tony said equally as angry as her now. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"It is not just that something is wrong." Ziva hissed throwing her pen down and standing up in front of him. "Everything is wrong."

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked confused.

"Nothing, it is nothing." Ziva said as she reached over and pulled her jacket on. "I will see you tomorrow."

"Wait." Tony said as he grabbed her jacket as she walked by him. "You can't just leave."

"Why not?" she sighed.

"I'm your partner." Tony tried and she gave him a look he didn't recognize. "I'm supposed to know when something's wrong with you."

"Maybe that is what's wrong." Ziva said and pointed to him.

"What?" Tony asked. "That I'm supposed to know what's wrong?"

"Can we just deal with this tomorrow?" Ziva asked as she rubbed her face. She looked up to see Ms. Hutton come off the elevator. "Good night, Tony."

"No." Tony said following her gaze and looking back at the blonde. "Is it wrong we're partners?"

"Tony, tomorrow." Ziva sighed as she saw Hutton approached Tony. "Goodnight."

"Night." The blonde said from behind Tony. He jumped and turned to her with a smile.

Ziva had gone home and did everything she could to erase the confused and hurt look on Tony's face from her mind. She had made herself a quick microwave dinner. Then took a long luxurious bubble bath with her favorite wine. She finally settled on her couch reading a book when a knock came at her door.

"It's midnight." Ziva groaned as she looked to see who was interrupting her night and found her partner on the other side of her door. "Tony."

"It's tomorrow." Tony grinned.

"You're an ass." Ziva said as she turned leaving the door open for him to let himself in. She returned to her couch and book more than happy to ignore him.

"Well that's not nice. Aren't you going to offer me a drink?" Tony asked as he sat on the opposite end of the couch.

"No. What are you doing here, Tony, you should be sleeping." Ziva said setting her book down.

"So should you." Tony retorted. "Want to tell me why you think us being partners is wrong?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"You know according to some I am the direct one not you." Ziva said looking at him, noting the black track pants and old sweatshirt.

"Yet, you keep avoiding the question." Tony smirked. "Cut the shit, Ziva."

"Cut the shit?" Ziva asked with a disgusted face. "Why would I ever do such a thing? That is repulsive."

"It's a phrase, it means quit avoiding this, stop dancing around the issue." Tony explained his anger immediately returning. "Why are we wrong?"

"Tony." Ziva started but Tony shook his head stopping her.

"No, Ziva." Tony said scooting closer to her. "Tell me, 'cause I need to know."

"Because Tony." She said looking away from him, uncomfortable under his green gaze. "We don't work."

"We don't work?" Tony questioned in a whisper. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know you know what I am talking about." Ziva almost whined.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Tony roared. "Because if I did, if I thought we were such bad partners I sure as hell wouldn't have gone all the way to frickin' Africa to save your ass."

"You did not know I was alive!" Ziva yelled back.

"Exactly!" Tony yelled. "But I went any way, just to kill that bastard because what I knew he did to you! Finding you was just an added bonus."

"Tony." Ziva started trying to calm him dowm.

"No." Tony said shrugging her hand on his forearm. "Tell me Ziva David. Why are we so wrong together? Because you're the only person I know who thinks so. So tell me why."

"It not just partners, it's everything we do together." Ziva sighed. "I cannot keep doing this."

"Doing what?" Tony asked.

"Living this circle." Ziva explained frustrated that she could not say what she felt.

"What. Are. You. Talking. About?" Tony asked just as frustrated.

"Where we tease, taunt, and flirt. Maybe have feelings? Then one of us ends up in a relationship. The other gets jealous and hurt. Then the person in the relationship is presumed dead. But really they are not so they come back. It gets awkward. Then it goes back to flirting and teasing and happens all over again!" Ziva explained and slammed her hands down on the couch to emphasis her point. "I am sick of it, Tony. It hurts too much"

"Are you saying you have feelings for me?" Tony asked softly and Ziva's eyes went wide.

"Get out." She said pointing to the door.

"No." Tony said bringing her hand back to the couch. "Explain this more."

"No, I should not have to." Ziva scowled. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Okay. We flirted ever since we first met. You maybe had feelings for me before." Tony tested scooting closer to her again. "We had that summer with our movie nights. Jeanne happened. You watched my car blow up."

"Tony, don't." Ziva said placing her hand on his chest to stop him from moving closer, his hand stroking her upper arm. "You do not know what that was like."

"Ziva, I know exactly what that was like." Tony laughed. "Except it wasn't only a couple hours for me, it was an entire summer." His voice was thick as he searched her eyes for confirmation to continue. "I knew I had hurt you, by not telling you about Jeanne. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you."

"It was not the just lying that bothered me so much." Ziva said looking down at her hands. "It was how good you were at it. How good you were at sneaking around."

"Like I was cheating?" Tony asked and Ziva nodded. "But then that was over."

"Did you sleep with Nikki?" Ziva asked suddenly catching Tony off guard. "The neat girl."

"No." Tony said confused. "I didn't. I wouldn't." Tony said making Ziva look at him. "I wish it wasn't like this."

"So do I." Ziva agreed as she traced the veins on his hand. "And we are doing it again."

"Yeah." Tony said. "But I don't want to."

"Maybe we should not be around each other so much." Ziva offered and Tony immediately laced his fingers threw hers startling her. "I do not know what you feel or think, most of the time." She laughed as did Tony. "But-."

"But what?" Tony asked as he stared at their entwined fingers.

"I cannot not want to be around you." Ziva said softly. "You make me laugh."

"I try really hard." Tony smiled and she laughed slightly. "Why does this make us bad partners?"

"Not bad." Ziva corrected. "Wrong."

"Oh." Tony mocked.

"We are wrong because we keep doing this to each other." Ziva explained. "We are not learning from our mistakes."

"It's not because we're partners." Tony laughed. "Yeah it sucks when you flirt with the Texas Longhorn, Damon, and whoever else. Give them looks I never got. Hug them."

"I hugged Damon, once." Ziva defended. "We are friends."

"So are we!" Tony jumped. "Despite what you say. That's not something I question."

"What do you question then?" Ziva asked.

"What do you question?" Tony asked with a slight smile.

"How bad it is going to hurt this time around." Ziva answered. "And which one of us is going to get hurt worse."

"I don't want either of us to hurt any more." Tony said closing the remaining gap between them, still keeping her hand in his. "I think we've hurt enough over the last couple of years."

"So do I." she agreed shivering slightly at the feeling of his breath on her face. "But I do not know what to do, how to fix this feeling."

"What feeling?"

"Dread." Ziva said honestly and Tony looked at her surprised and hurt.

"Dread? What are you dreading?" he asked trying to keep his voice steady.

"Us." Was the simple response and he swallowed nervously.

"Us? Like together, in a relationship?" he asked as he idly stroked his thumb over the top of her hand.

"Yes or continuing on as partners." She said as she reached her free hand up to rest on his cheek. "I have feelings for you, Tony, they never fully went away. I do not even know when they started." She smiled and he opened his mouth to talk but she stopped him by squeezing his hand. "But you make fun of me for wanting to become a citizen. You became obsessed with that girl, Hutton, today. That lady! A couple weeks ago, that played with your hair."

"Hey, I didn't like that." Tony defended. "You know I hate people touching my hair."

"But then you confuse me. How you said you call me Probie with love. When we were in the warehouse and you wanted me to talk about Africa, you had this look." She said and shook her head as she dropped her hand from his cheek. "Paris."

"Paris." Tony repeated with a shy smile. "You yelled at me in your sleep."

"I did not." Ziva blushed.

"You did. I had to pee and I went to get up and you told me to stop it." Tony laughed at the memory. "I told you I had to pee and you responded by telling me you were too comfy to be bothered by me and my bodily functions."

"I'm sorry." Ziva said her face a slight pink.

"Don't be." Tony said. His heart was still racing from when Ziva admitted to having feelings for him, to maybe always feeling something for him. "You can cuddle against me any time." That only caused her to turn a deeper shade of red. "I don't want to sever our partnership again, Ziva. I can't take not having you on my six or sitting across from me, or messing up idioms. I can't take not having you there."

"What do we do then?" Ziva asked suddenly nervous by how long they'd been holding hands.

"Let's try this." Tony said as he dropped her hand and cradled her face as he closed the small space between them and brushed his lips lightly over hers.

"Tony." Ziva sighed as her hands grabbed at his shirt trying to bring him closer.

He smiled slightly into the kiss as he titled his head to kiss her better. She opened her mouth slightly and sucked his upper lip. He moaned and pressed his tongue against her mouth desperately seeking hers. She complied and knotted their tongues together and they made out like teenagers until their lungs burned for oxygen.

"What was that supposed to prove?" She asked as she kissed his lips quickly again.

"How wrong you are about us being wrong." Tony mumbled kissing her again. Her hand snuck under his sweatshirt and stroked his lower abdomen causing Tony to groan and break the kiss. "I don't know how to be in a real relationship, Ziva."

"Okay." Ziva said confused her hand still resting on his stomach.

"I need you to tell me what you want."

"What?"

"Tell me what you want from me, seriously." Tony pleaded, shivering as she played with the trail of hair that led to the waistband of pants.

"I do not know." Ziva laughed. "That's my problem. I do not want us to screw around then not be able to work together again. I do not want to see you with other women though. But I can't keep doing what we are doing now. I don't want to, but I cannot move on if we are always together at work. Tried that, it did not work well for either of us. I want us together."

"I know." Tony said. "I don't want you to move on. I want you to be with me and only me. I don't like Damon, Dunham, or anyone else flirting with you."

"I know." Ziva laughed stroking his side now. "Why were you obsessed with that girl today if you feel this way?"

"I don't know." Tony said resting his forehead against hers. "She was you, she'd lost everything and was missing."

"She was beautiful."

"So are you." Tony said pecking her lips. "So can we be together now?" he laughed.

"I don't know." Ziva shrugged.

"Why not? Why is this so difficult?" Tony groaned.

"Rule 12 for one." She said and Tony rolled his eyes. "Us together would hurt us more when something goes wrong."

"What if nothing goes wrong?" Tony questioned.

"What if everything does?" Ziva said.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and find out." Tony whispered against her lips before kissing her again. Ziva moaned as he pushed her back against the armrest and ran his hands up her tank top.

"Tony." She breathed out as he kissed behind her ear and down her jaw causing her to arch up against him.

"Ziva, I could tell you I love you 'till I go blue in the face, and mean it." Tony said as he pulled back to look at her. "But that won't change anything unless you trust me and stop dreading everything that could go wrong."

"I do not know how." Ziva whimpered as he sucked on the pulse point on her neck. "Nothing has gone right, I can only assume that everything will go wrong."

"Maybe this is where everything turns around." Tony sighed as she wound her arms around his neck. "Maybe after everything we've gone through we finally get what we deserve."

"What is that?" Ziva asked as she nuzzled his neck.

"Happiness." Tony grinned.

A/N: so pretty much my longest ramble ever.