WARNINGS - SLASH! If you don't like the idea of Arthur/Merlin together, then this isn't the story for you.
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Restless Nights
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Arthur woke, the sweat and tears drying on his skin, as he looked around a little wildly, his breaths coming in short pants, his heart starting to slow as he realized that it was a dream.
He'd been having the same dreams, or rather nightmares, for the past few nights, or whenever he tried to sleep, ever since his father had had another young man killed for using magic. He'd seen it many times before and it had never affected him like this.
Of course, in the past, the men and women who had been executed for using magic hadn't looked like Merlin.
When the young man had been brought into court, with his shaggy black hair and big blue eyes, Arthur had had to check that it wasn't his manservant, wasn't his Merlin.
He'd looked over and seen Merlin looking at the boy, a pained look on his face, as he had had to turn his face away when Uther had passed down his sentence.
And the thought had run through his head.
Next time it could be Merlin.
Because it could.
Arthur knew about Merlin's magic, knew that his servant was a warlock.
And knowing it was scaring him to death.
He couldn't lose Merlin, not when he had just started to realize how much Merlin meant to him, how much he needed Merlin. He needed him to be the voice of reason to Arthur's recklessness, needed him to make him smile when no one else could, to tell him he could do something when he was doubting himself, when he didn't think he could do it.
Arthur needed Merlin there to believe in him.
Getting out of bed, he made his way over to the window, letting his head rest against the cold pane as he watched the rays of dawn spread across the castle.
Tonight, he'd seen Merlin burn, the thought of it making Arthur's breath catch, his heart start to race, a stinging behind his eyes.
He had found out about Merlin's magic by accident, had woken up when Merlin had obviously thought he was unconscious and so was safe to use his magic, and he'd been in awe when he had seen the amount of power Merlin had, as he had taken down the monster they had been fighting.
He'd pretended to wake up after Merlin had defeated the monster, not telling the other man that he had seen him.
He wasn't sure why he hadn't, but every time he had been about to reveal that he knew about Merlin's magic, had been staring into Merlin's smiling blue eyes, he had lost his nerve, not able to say the words that he had prepared.
And then he'd realized, he wanted Merlin to tell him, to trust him. He wanted Merlin to come to him and … confess that he was a sorcerer.
So he would keep quiet, until Merlin trusted him enough to tell him.
He tried to ignore the pang of hurt he felt when he was reminded every day that Merlin didn't.
And now the nightmares had started.
Sighing, he made his way back to his bed, sitting on it and putting his head in his hands. He couldn't go on like this.
He sat there for a long time, thinking, trying to sort through the feelings of panic he had now.
"Gooood … Oh, you're up."
And just like that the nightmares were forgotten for another day, as he stared at the smiling face of his manservant, who was carrying in his breakfast.
"What?" Merlin asked, a suspicious look crossing his face. "Do I have something on my face?"
"No," he said, rolling his eyes for effect. "I was thinking, Merlin. People do that from time to time, although I wouldn't expect you to know anything about that."
"I'm just not used to seeing anything like a thought on your face," Merlin replied, cheeky grin on his face, as he placed Arthur's breakfast on the table.
Standing up, he rolled his eyes again, brushing against Merlin and feeling the panic squashed even further at the contact he needed to push the nightmares even further away.
"Seriously," Merlin continued. "This is a momentous occasion, I wonder if I could get a cake."
"Ha ha," Arthur replied, starting to eat his breakfast, happiness filling him as they settled into their usual banter, Merlin none the wiser to Arthur's turmoil.
**
He'd screamed this time. Screamed out Merlin's name and the cry had woken him.
Swallowing hard, he looked around the room, realizing that it was almost time for him to be waking.
Wiping his hand over his face, he wasn't surprised that he wiped away sweat. Throwing his blankets off, he quickly got dressed.
This couldn't go on.
And if his mind wouldn't stop showing him the images, he'd find a way to make his mind stop.
"You won't beli- where are you going?" Merlin asked, as Arthur pushed past him and out into the hall.
"Arthur?" Merlin called.
Ignoring him, Arthur tried to stop his heart from racing, the images from the nightmare still playing in his mind, as he strode quickly down the hall.
"Arthur," Merlin said, finally catching up with him. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Arthur replied. "I just need to see Gaius."
"Maybe I could help?" Merlin asked, his eyes wide, almost as wide as they were when-
No, that hadn't happen. That wouldn't happen. He wouldn't allow it.
Merlin might not trust him with his secret, but he could trust him with his life.
And Arthur wouldn't let him down.
"It's … you can't … just go about your duties, Merlin," he said quietly, not looking at his manservant.
"Arthur," Merlin started to say, only to stop when he turned and glared at him, holding up his hands in surrender. "Okay."
He watched as Merlin walked back to his room, not turning back around until the other man was out of sight, before walking quickly towards Gaius's room.
"Gaius," he said, walking into the physician's room, relieved to see the older man there.
"Your Highness," Gaius replied, straightening up from where he had been leaning over his table, looking at something in some jar.
"I, um," he started, shaking his head. "I was wondering if you have anything that could stop me from having dreams."
Looking up, he saw the flash of surprise cross the older man's face.
"Of course," Gaius replied. "May I ask why?"
"I've been having restless nights," Arthur answered, not wanting to go into too much detail, not wanting to relive the nightmare again. "And I need some dreamless sleep."
"Of course," Gaius answered, not even hesitating a moment, moving over to one of his shelves. "A spoonful of this should help."
Taking the bottle, Arthur nodded at the old man, turning to walk out the door.
"My Lord," Gaius called as he just reached the door.
Turning, he raised an eyebrow at the man.
"If you're having nightmares, restless dreams," Gaius started slowly. "The Lady Morgana may be able to help."
Snorting, Arthur nodded.
There was no way he was going to talk to Morgana about any of this.
**
Lying in bed, Arthur shook his head, trying to stop the images playing over and over in his head.
It had been worse tonight. Gaius's concoction hadn't worked. In fact it seemed to have made it worse.
Getting up, he quickly dressed; needing to see the young man for himself, needing to make sure what he saw was just a dream, that Merlin was safe inside his room, and not burning somewhere, not screaming his name as he was consumed by the flames.
He walked quickly to the physician's rooms, just stopping himself from crashing into someone as he rounded the corner.
"Arthur?"
"Morgana?" Arthur asked, wondering what she was doing out and wandering around. "What are you doing?"
"I couldn't sleep," she replied. "Why are you up and wandering around?"
"I couldn't sleep either," he replied, running a hand through his hair.
"Where are you headed?" she asked, curiosity running through her tone.
"Gaius's," he replied, shrugging. "I thought he could give me something to help me sleep. He's usually up at this time."
"Hmm," she said, raising an eyebrow as he walked past her, he stopped when she placed her hand gently on his arm.
"What do you see?" she asked softly, gazing up at him, a knowing and sympathetic look on her face. He wondered for a moment how she knew, before he remembered Gaius's words.
Shrugging her hand off, he walked over to the window, staring out of it unseeingly. If anyone could relate to having nightmares, it was Morgana.
"Merlin," he replied shortly, surprised that he was sharing his dream with her.
"That's a nightmare?" she asked, amusement in her tone.
"Being executed," he bit out. "I see him being killed every night."
He heard Morgana come to stand by him, looking out the window.
"So you know then?" she said, and he could see her looking at him from the corner of his eye.
"I've known for awhile," Arthur replied.
"He's not brilliant at hiding it, but I've tried my best to help him," she said.
"Me too," he answered, giving her a small smile when he turned and met her eyes.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"I don't know," he replied, shrugging and stepping away from the window. "But I need to see Gaius."
"Of course," she said, another knowing look on her face.
He couldn't bring himself to care, didn't care about anything but seeing Merlin.
It didn't take him long to reach Gaius's quarters, opening the door quietly he was surprised the old man was still asleep, walking as soundlessly through the room as he could.
He took a deep breath as he stared at Merlin's door, before pushing it open slowly.
His heart race picked up as he saw the messy raven hair sticking out from under the blankets, Merlin hidden underneath it.
Moving quietly over, he sat down gently on the bed, pulling the blankets down so he could see Merlin's face. His breath caught at the sight of the other man's face, Merlin really was beautiful.
Running his hand through the silky hair, it slowly trailed down until it cupped his pale cheek, thumb rubbing across it. He gave a small smile as Merlin opened his eyes sleepily, his hand reaching up to squeeze Arthur's.
"Arthur," he mumbled, the smile widening.
He felt himself relax, the panic and the fear pushed to the back of his mind again, as he stared down at the other man.
He wasn't even aware that he was moving, until his mouth covered Merlin's soft one, lapping gently at the lips before pulling away, looking down into Merlin's dazed gaze, before standing up and leaving the room.
**
"Ah, Merlin," Arthur said, as his manservant finally made it to his rooms that morning. "I was thinking we should go hunting today."
"I think we have some things to discuss, don't you?" Merlin asked, walking into the room and closing the door.
Arthur turned away to hide his smile, pouring himself a goblet of water and taking a sip, before turning back around to face the other man.
"Discuss what?" Arthur asked, unable to not tease Merlin.
"Wha- … you know exactly what!" Merlin exclaimed. "How about the fact that you were in my room this morning? Or the fact that you kissed me?"
"Hmm," Arthur replied, leaning back against the table. "I think I would've remembered that."
"I … you were! I woke up and you were there," Merlin argued, his confused and angry face making it hard for Arthur not to smile again.
Getting up, he moved over to the other man, noting the way the man's eyes dilated, even though he was glaring at Arthur.
"I think that would be something I would remember," Arthur answered, frowning in mock confusion, moving even closer. "Maybe you dreamed it?"
"I did not dream it!" Merlin said angrily. "Gaius saw you leaving my room."
"Hmm. Maybe you should try to jog my memory," Arthur murmured, stopping just inside Merlin's personal space.
"Jog your-"
The smile that crossed Merlin's face echoed Arthur's, as the young warlock closed the distance.
"I guess it is my duty to make sure you don't forget things," he said, grinning up at him.
"I'd rather you did it because you wanted to," Arthur replied.
"I've wanted to for a long time, Arthur," Merlin said, closing the distance between them and laying a gentle kiss over his mouth
Arthur groaned at the soft kiss, his arms coming up to wrap around Merlin, one hand on his lower back, the other at the nape of his neck, as he angled Merlin's head so he could deepen the kiss.
He was surprised when Merlin pushed him towards the bed, even more surprised when he pushed him down on it, climbing on after him and straddling him.
"Merlin," he groaned, as the other man pushed his hips down, his cock hardening at the sensation.
"Yes, sire?" Merlin whispered, as he leant forward and sucked on the junction where his neck joined his shoulder, the action making Arthur's hips jerk upwards, the feel of Merlin's mouth there like a direct link to his cock.
He let his hands sneak under Merlin's shirt, groaning again as he felt the silky skin there, as soft as he thought it would be. He quickly removed his hands, grabbing the bottom of Merlin's shirt and pulling it over Merlin's head, his own following suit not long after.
Pulling Merlin down, he devoured Merlin's mouth again, moaning as Merlin's skin slid against his own.
"Merlin," he breathed as Merlin pulled back, his lust-blown eyes looking down at him for a moment before looking around, a triumphant noise leaving his throat, as he stood and moved off the bed.
"Where are you-" he started to say, before he saw Merlin grabbing some oil off the table, letting his pants fall to the floor and crawling back on the bed.
"Have you ever done this before?" Merlin whispered, his breaths caressing his ear, sending shivers down Arthur's spine, as he untied the laces on Arthur's breeches, pushing them down and letting Arthur's cock spring free.
Looking up at the young warlock, Arthur shook his head, eyes wide as he realized that the dreams he had, the other dreams, the one's he had before he had started having the nightmares, were about to come true.
Merlin gave him a smile, as he covered his fingers in the oil, reaching around behind himself and …
Arthur felt his breath catch as he realized what Merlin was doing, his cock throbbing, almost coming at the sight of Merlin opening himself, a grimace crossing over his face for a few moments, before he groaned.
"Merlin," Arthur said, hands coming up to run down Merlin's chest. "Have you ever …"
Merlin didn't answer him, leaning forward and taking Arthur's mouth in a fierce kiss.
"Arthur," Merlin whispered huskily. "Are you ready?"
Nodding, Arthur watched as Merlin moved forward, his hand rubbing the oil on Arthur's cock before guiding it to its prize, groaning as Merlin sunk down slowly on him.
Looking up, he saw the pained look on the other man's face and felt something in his chest twist.
"Merlin," he said, hands coming up to stop his descent, not wanting to cause him pain.
"It's alright," Merlin said, sinking down further. "Just … just give me a second."
Groaning, Arthur bit his lip, trying to stop his hips from thrusting upwards into the heat, the feel of Merlin clenching around him almost driving him over the edge. One more push down and Arthur was all the way in, Merlin breathing heavily.
"Arthur," Merlin groaned, as he started to move.
Arthur moaned, unable to stop the thrust upward, his hands falling on Merlin's hips and guiding the young warlock, smirking when he hit something in Merlin that made the other man throw his head back and whimper.
Feeling more confident now, Arthur started a rhythm, wishing he could go slower, but unable to, the feel of Merlin's hot sheath around him too much, the sight of him with his head back and moaning when Arthur hit the spot in him, making it impossible for Arthur to stop his thrusts from speeding up, from pulling Merlin down harder.
Feeling the tightness coiling in his belly, he knew it wouldn't be long now and so let one of his hands fall from Merlin's hips to wrap around the other man's cock. He stroked it in time with his thrusts, pleasure running through him as he heard Merlin's groans and whimpers increase.
"Come for me, Merlin," he said, his voice low and rough, the sound of it pushing the man on top of him over the edge.
He followed soon after, the feel of Merlin clenching around him, his come warming his belly too much, as stars danced across his eyes, the feeling that he was finally home coming to him as he came in his young warlock.
Coming down from his high, he felt Merlin's hand running through his hair, his mouth leaving light kisses along his jaw. He opened his eyes to see Merlin looking at him sleepily, a happy grin on his face.
"Oh, actually now I do recall," Arthur said, smirking as Merlin looked up at him in confusion. "I was in your room this morning."
He laughed when Merlin rolled his eyes, pulling the blanket up to cover the both of them, as they drifted off to sleep.
**
He hadn't had a nightmare.
With Merlin in his arms, he hadn't dreamt about the man he … cared deeply about, being executed.
Smiling, he looked down at the, more then usual, messy raven hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head, unable to stop the happiness that ran through him when Merlin pulled him even closer.
He might not have Merlin's trust yet, but he would do everything in his power to earn it, so that one day Merlin would tell him.
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A/N - As always let me know what you thought :)