Disclaimer – Twilight Saga – NOT MINE =]

** I suppose this is set just after new moon but before the drama of eclipse.

** See you at the bottom =]

My eyes slowly opened to the dreary morning sky which is pretty much guaranteed every morning in Forks. As I was slowly getting my bearings I noticed that I was warmer than I usually was and there wasn't an ice block of marble beauty lying next to me. I shot up out of bed and noticed that he wasn't anywhere in my room, panic started to rise in me; it's been the same routine every morning when he is not here. Constantly reminding myself that he was back and wasn't going to leave me again, well I didn't know that for sure he could always change his mind I mean there was nothing special about me to keep my hold on him. With a stab of regret I realised that I had let myself hope, even though I promised myself I wouldn't let that happen.

I started to think things through logically, it has been 2 weeks that we saved Edward from Italy and came home with his eyes looking darker than I have ever seen them. Over these past two weeks we hardly left each other's sides, school we had the same classes. He still wasn't allowed in my house yet due to my punishment but he would often just sit in my room and wait for me to come upstairs and then spend the night.

I realised then – mentally cursing my inability to remember these things- that Edward had gone on a hunting trip with the rest of his family with the exception of Emmet and Rosalie to the mountains about 20 miles outside of forks for some big game. Emmet and Rosalie staying home in case Victoria decided to show up – another reason why Edward had waited so long to go.

So it was Friday, no school today because of teacher meetings, Charlie gone for an extended fishing trip, and I wasn't allowed down at la push to visit Jake, and all I had was studying for finals and I had a full 2 days with nothing but that to do which would be when Edward returned.

Great, how pathetic am I, always needing Edward just so I won't be bored out of my mind. This is ridiculous I can't let myself get so wrapped up in him again; it would just make things worse when he decides to leave me again. I felt so guilty not trusting him again.... which just added to my already huge amount of frustration over this whole situation.

After the hallucinations wore off from riding those bikes, since I became efficient at riding, I could just ride them to feel free and get rid of all the frustration I was feeling ... too bad I was forbidden to ride anymore since Jake told on me ... I can understand where he is coming from though.

I hate that my whole life I followed the rules – played the good girl, never did anything wrong and always took care of everyone else before myself, well with Renee I had to, she's a great mom and my best friend but she's so harebrained that I guess she forgot that she was the adult in the situation that was life.

Just once it would be nice to do something adventurous again, relieve some of that frustration.

And no-one was around to stop me...

Alice's visions were based on decisions ... and I hadn't decided ...

So I did my usual morning routine... Shower, dry hair pin straight ... added a bit of hair spray for volume...got dressed in some black skinnies and a red top with my new leather jacket that Jake got me.

Walked downstairs ... still not making any decisions ... that is ... until i decided to head to la push after i had pushed the bike to the road ... and i was off...

It felt so good to brake some of the rules for a change ... I just didn't have a care in the world ... I didn't care that Alice would see this ... I didn't care that Edward would be furious – I needed this.

Just before the bike crossed the treaty line my phone began to ring – so I stopped on the edge of the forest road and answered the call I had been expecting from Alice.

Right well that's the first chapter ... not too sure where I'll take this so suggestions and criticism are always good =]

** Just a warning this is my first story so ... meh that's my excuse if its not too good =/

Peace Out and hit that lil' button \/ \/ \/ down there =]