Crash Into Me

Disclaimer: I am in no way associated to Naruto. I am simply a fan taking her time to write out stories that seem right to her, with the characters that belong to Masashi Kishimoto. She also gains nothing from this, apart from entertainment and, hopefully, some love and readers.

Pairings: Sasuke/Sai, hints of remote-past Sasuke/Ino

Rating: M, R or NC-17, you choose what you want. However, there is a warning for a bit of gender confusion in the most of this chapter.

Summary: There is always a girl who seems to share the same subway as he does. However, first impressions are not always right.

Word count: 4.909

Part One: Amor Caecus Est

The first time he sees her it is the end of a nice spring day.

Sasuke ends his day by taking the subway (which can't possibly be just a subway; it is a hybrid of a train and a subway, since it travels half its course underground and the other half under the skies), the subway that will take him home after yet another work day. The Uchiha is still quite young, but that cannot entirely scratch him off the list of people who might be bored with their job. He is lucky there generally is not too much of a crowd taking the same subway at the same time as he does, so he can always find a seat for himself. Therefore, it is with a relieved sigh that he takes a seat by a window, glad that he can go home now.

However, that day there is something different that the day before, or the day before that.

She takes the seat directly in front of him and she does justice to the spot, Sasuke feels ashamed to think. Sasuke so does not have a special fixation or obsession for anything but little things about himself, so he feels quite incredulous at how this girl leaves him so enthralled.

Perhaps it is the skin, Sasuke thinks in between discrete glances. Yes, it is the smooth, milky-pale skin revealed by the v-neck of her tight, tight dark shirt, by the slightly oversized sleeves of the mid-season jacket that only leave the tips of her long, slender fingers; it is that skin that is shown to him that entices him to paint the blanks in between in his mind. Sasuke taps his fingers along his own thigh as his eyes insist on exploring the physique of this person, thing that his mind is completely okay about doing. His eyes travel the protuberances of her collarbones to follow along the long line of her neck (and the Uchiha barely notices in the process that there is a bit of a lack in the chest department, but this does not bother him at all), into her short, silky straight hair of the deepest black. Sasuke also drinks in her elegant, lean silhouette, those angles of an athletic woman half-hidden by the tight clothing; her long legs: one crossed over the other. This woman wears casual clothing so well it makes the Uchiha feel guilt bubbling up his throat for wearing the obligatory suit for work.

At this, Sasuke decides to scurry his overboard-of-sensation, clumsy-made fingers and bury them into the suddenly too tight knot of this tie, dismissing the movement with a shrugging of his shoulders.

His eyes travel up to analyze her face in profile while she looks out to the world (unaware of the unwanted attention), the soft curve of her androgynous jaw, the full, thick and cherry lips, the perfectly sized nose and her almond eyes. Framed by a long curtain of lashes, they are as black as her hair, glistening in purple and yellow under the warmth of the sunset. There is something in her eyes, in the whole of her face that drew out an expression that isn't quite that. It just seems to call for the Uchiha's name.

The youngest of the Uchiha swallows the lump of shame that seems to have gathered in midst of his explorations. It is shameful, that he spent so much time analyzing someone he doesn't even know. It is a burning shame that seems to comfort him, though.

But, no, Sasuke refuses to give into this silly obsession. This isn't him. Sasuke Uchiha does not get silly crushes; Sasuke Uchiha does not admire anyone else but him. Adding up to his confusion, this is actually the first girl he has found completely attractive in his whole life. Sasuke admits his previous partner (a past silly, silly mistake, according to Sasuke) does have a certain appeal, if you squint at it properly, at her always-purple wardrobe and long blonde hair and buxom figure. Still, it isn't quite an appeal to the Uchiha's tastes. He knows better, and he knows how much of that appearance is artificially crafted. On the other hand, there is something akin to natural beauty in this girl.

The beeping of the alarm in the subway startles Sasuke and the artificial voice announcing the next stop, figuring his stop comes next. (And the little voice in his head wonders how many exits he has missed.)

No, his worries are on the tensing of the girl in front of him as she uncrosses her legs and grabs the oversized messenger back at her feet, getting ready to go. She is leaving him alone. She gets up gracefully despite the bumping of the subway stopping threatening to throw her on Sasuke (and his prayers for so to happen) and walks to the sliding door. Sasuke barely notices the intent with which he follows her on her path until she is finally gone.

She walks wherever she needs to and Sasuke's gaze intensively guards her. And the Uchiha knows he should also be getting ready to leave, as the subway resumes its trip along the railroads.

It's weeks until she finally interacts with Sasuke, other than analyzing him once or twice.

It is always the same place by the window, and it is always the two of them. It is like that ever since the first time the Uchiha saw her. She never says anything, and she never has company, but the same goes with Sasuke. It is good, Sasuke thinks, that way he can look at her, stare at her with the intensity he is sure she can feel, without having any companion by her side taking note of this.

He is happy to see that every single day she takes the subway two times with him: one in the morning and one at the end of the day.

In the morning she always looks brighter that in the end of the day. There is something of a fresh smell surrounding her and an aura of someone who had a good night sleep follows her (but not a goodnight kiss, Sasuke hopes). Her hair is usually immaculately combed; sometimes it is still wet from her morning shower. However, it seems that not all nights she must have a completely satisfying slumber, as sometimes the Uchiha sees her stifling a stubborn yawn.

As the sun sets she always looks calmer, more serene, as if ready to go to sleep herself with the Sun. There is an added depth to her gaze as she watches the lights flicker outside, some tiredness in her muscles as she rests her head on the seat and shows her neck to the world (and Sasuke swallows the groan climbing up his tongue, begging to be released), and she closes her eyes for some moments. And then Sasuke can't help but smile at that sight in compassion.

And in between moments Sasuke knows this: she is beautiful.

So Sasuke watches her move under the artificial lights of the subway device that do her no justice. There is yet again the sentence of the electronic voice announcing the next stop, her stop, and she makes the move to get up from her seat.

However, this time, she looks at Sasuke before she leaves and she smiles at him; the corners of her luscious lips tugging, her eyes closing for a small instant sure to be recorded in Polaroid in the Uchiha's memory. It is a bit unfelt and forced, that smile, but Sasuke is sure he can work on that.

And with that she is gone once more.

Sasuke likes a nice cup of cappuccino in the morning.

You see, it is the perfect, if not the only way, to begin the day according to him. So, it is quite necessary for the Uchiha to take his time drinking his coffee in the morning, not because he is still feeling sleepy, but because he needs it to feel a wave of mellowness taking over him, instead of the annoyance he gets every morning.

The problem is that Sasuke also likes to see his hair combed (if that is what can be said about that everlasting bed-hair) a certain way every morning, in a way he knows to stretch the time an onlooker spends analyzing him with the desperation that they could never look like that. But, perhaps, it is that hair style that gives him that one touch, the aura of someone who must have something of a tale to tell on heated nights and moans (and how wrong they are); it is that look of the extremely beautiful yet unattainable. It is quite predictable, to find himself stared upon by a face painted in consummate attraction or unadulterated lust. It isn't a sign of Sasuke's ego, no; it is the simple fact that Sasuke is synonym to sex on two legs.

It is this attention that feeds his ego and it is this attention that dismantles it piece by piece. Sasuke loves it, loathes it, yet he comes asking for more, only to find that this esteem does not feed a longing deep inside of him…

Still, his mannerism is a foe when Sasuke wakes up late for work and he needs to worry, and that tiny detail just seems to bother him so. And Sasuke indulges, running to the bathroom to take care of it, losing the time he should be using for his morning cappuccino in an unforgivable vanity.

Because of this, the Uchiha only has the time to rush out of his house and turn to his ever-last resort: the little cart that is so not the kind of place for Sasuke to buy his coffee. Nonetheless, it is his only option; so it is with a somber shadow framing his eyes that Sasuke approaches the cart and asks for a cappuccino, with no sugar, no milk. Just coffee, please, he adds (sans the "please" bit). This leaves the boy dumbfounded for a little while before his experienced hands turn to work and craft the Uchiha's much desired drink under his demanding glare. It is only a few moments before a disposable cup is set on the counter and Sasuke throws in the payment, not really caring about change as he rips the cup from the counter to stitch it to his hungry mouth, striding to the subway entrance.

After some moments, it is languidly that Sasuke takes the usual seat by the usual window in the usual transportation. The Uchiha is somewhat amazed at how he managed to catch the subway right on time, but then again, that is only his duty to do. So he lets the subway taking him to a place where he doesn't really want to be, but he has to. As in a small gesture to make his sentence a little more pleasant, Sasuke begins sipping in a bit more of what lasts of his cappuccino.

He only has to endure the small talk a couple women make for only a while. He only has to listen to a child screaming out loud, threatening to irritate anyone aboard, for only a while. He only has to inhale the acrid smell of the man by his side for only a little while. He only has to bear the sight of a couple taking actions Sasuke doesn't want to see against the metallic door for a little while. All these are little details the Uchiha actively despises, but it doesn't matter all that much now, in between the two last sips of his drink.

No, it doesn't. Because with a harsh swaying the overfilled subway comes into a stop. The doors open and some people get in, some other people get out.

And Sasuke tenses the hold of his feet on the floor because he knows what is coming. He presses his lips in excitement.

In between the crowd of common passersby and faces holding nothing really special, the girl from the subway arrives, taking the usual seat by the usual window in the usual transportation, in front of the usual eagerly awaiting face. She offers a short smile at Sasuke while she sets herself in the usual spot, doing the movement of putting her messenger bag at her feet.

The time they spend together in the subway, although not socializing in any way, makes them a peculiar kind of partners. It envelops the two of them in a sweet sort of friendship, although a fragile one – you see, Sasuke doesn't even know her name, what she does, or what kind of personality she may have, and it is the same on her side of the equation. Nonetheless, it is sweet and bland and candy to Sasuke's soul.

So, maybe it is this friendship that glues her eyes to his face until she chuckles, quickly stifling that eruption with a nibble of her lips. There is a couple seconds before she is sure she has got the Uchiha's attention, and she taps the little space below her nose, just above her cherry lips to call his attention. On the other hand, Sasuke looks at her, puzzled, while he tries to concoct why this entertainment is coming from her. His eyebrows knot together just above the bridge of his nose and he decides the hell with it, doing the same gesture as she just did to figure what this is about.

Sasuke takes his fingers into sight to find that the cream from the cappuccino glued to his skin. He doesn't stress out, but he looks out at the window sporting something of a distressed looks, finding he has a white moustache made of the sweet cream. Still distressed, the Uchiha looks around in search of a napkin, something to wipe that off.

There is a nudge to his foot with another of the same kind, and Sasuke looks at the girl surprised (his face caught up in the face of a deer in the lights). She has another of those faux smiles upon her lips, as he holds a white, disposable, handkerchief in her hand in offering.

Still surprised, Sasuke takes the offering from the girl with a minimal, soft touch of their lips and tends to his face. However, he manages to mutter out a low, but genuine, "Thank you."

She only smiles, a hint of adoring mockery veiled under shapely lips.

It is only after a month that Sasuke knows what the girl from the subway does for a living. (Or what he thinks it is.)

Sasuke sits on his usual seat, nonchalantly chewing a gum he found in one drawer at work, which he didn't even know it was in there. A pleasant surprise. And at the usual stop, at the usual time, the girl from the subway arrives, this time bringing something with her, something the Uchiha didn't think was part of her list of interests, so much for something she actually does. You see, that day, the pale girl is struggling with a large, squared shape wrapped in brown protection paper, that goes up to about half her height. And Sasuke can only guess that the unknown object is a painted canvas; what else could it be?

He shifts a bit in his seat and watches her struggling with the square (keeping the light notion that perhaps he could help her with the weight) until she finally manages to sit at her usual seat, in front of him.

With the smell of somewhat fresh ink – that smell that he hates, that smell which seems to turn into needles along the expanse of his spine – Sasuke is quite sure that the woman's possession is a recently completed canvas. Some other signs tell him she is the author of the hidden artwork: the barely there stains of ink tinting her fingertips, some other light colors giving some life to her cheeks and her chin area, probably marks of frustration.

And the Uchiha wonders if this girl is a good artist. He almost tortures himself for doubting so; of course she is a fine artist.

Since Sasuke can't quite stop his flow of thoughts, his mind reels. She is an artist, and what a wonderful world that is! To capture one's sights, dreams, hopes and fears and work them, worship them and love them as they are re-crafted, remade and reborn at the end of the artist. It is finding that one thing, that muse, which shatters the artist's mind and heart into one million different resolves; and hopelessly the artist will adore it and do as it wills. It is such a loving way of living, not a job, a way of being and thinking, a philosophy, even.

It wonderfully opposes the title he claims as his own. Criminal defense lawyer. Sasuke Uchiha fights his causes with conviction and ability, but in the end of the day he knows he is feeding off money that isn't quite that honest. In that world there is no space for the amazing worship that art is; it doesn't quite exactly help Sasuke with understanding the people who live by his side other than coldly thought profiles; it doesn't help him grow as a human being living in society. At least that is what his blonde friend accuses him, with his usual grin that doesn't exactly show a lack of support. However, that his a problem that links the most to his past than his present being, since his association with Kakashi, and certain events in his life which lead him into rethinking his existence; it made Sasuke change a little bit, into someone more willing to reach out and feeling what it is like to be human.

So yes, Sasuke looks at the girl from the subway under a different light that differs only in the degree of admiration.

That day, the subway is filled with people like lambs for the slaughter under the heat of mid-summer. It certainly isn't a nice analogy, but Sasuke finds himself silently thanking his lucky stars.

The Uchiha shifts in his place, just a small movement to keep himself from falling into boredom, as he thinks how did the weather end up quite like this. Konoha during summer usually means unbearable heat and discomfort to Sasuke, but this year, he thinks, is overdoing and rewriting the meaning of the station. On one hand, he looks forward to some things, such as the promising summer vacation he has been planning, and his birthday, even; on the other hand, the raven haired man has to put up with the subway filled with people, which, by itself, is a rare sight, and the heat.

So Sasuke inwardly groans in discomfort at the while gripping the loop attached to the ceiling to keep himself from balancing too much with the underground train and the people along the ride. He itches and twitches at the thought of all these bodies he doesn't even know invading his personal space while his body is determined to induce him into a overheated fever.

However, amidst all of this, there is a positive point, and that is one that makes it all worth it for him. He glares at the glazed black eyes half-lidded and shaded by strands of black hair just inches away from his, and discovers that his subway traveling friend is having a bit of a harder time with the heat than he is, with dark lashes and strands of hair sticking to the side of her face and the usually milky skin tinted pink.

Suddenly, the subway remembers to stop and with it comes a jolting which sends Sasuke crashing into the flustered woman, who is thrown back with the impact against someone behind her. The Uchiha is quick to recover, quickly stepping back to let her take her balance back together; he presses his lips together and looks at her apologetically while some people get off the subway and some others hop on.

The subway jolts once more as it starts up again and Sasuke presses against the smooth body of the girl only lightly this time, without anything more effective than the ceiling handle to hold on to. He moves again quickly without commenting how this managed to happen yet again, or the shadow of a smile which frames his lips at the contact between their bodies. The girl looks at him with a demanding eyebrow taking the shape of a high arch; however, she comments none of this and almost looks challenging from the side of her grace.

It seems like she has more important matters to think about.

It seems that Sasuke has to watch the happy trail of the drop of sweat that works its way down from her hairline to her temple down to the side of her flushed face. Sasuke stifles the drowned groan and decides to bite his top lip, lick it and fight the damned urge to lick the trail down as the drop tremblingly slides down the side of her elegant, white neck.

The train rocks again, forcing Sasuke closer to the girl once again, the ideal opportunity to inhale her scent, the perfect opportunity to reach out and kiss those cherry lips, had they been at some other point of their relationship, if any. This close, he can see things he couldn't see before, like the flurry of eyelashes framing her eyes, the bright glitters on her lips as she licks them to fight the dehydration that seems to threaten her. This close, the Uchiha is sure she can see, and hear, the movement of his neck as he swallows hard and dry and he doesn't even have an idea why. This close, Sasuke can see the little space she moves closer to him, a sweet nothing that means so, but still, noticeable.

And this causes Sasuke to smile softly at this unaware gesture from the girl.

All this in a sweet moment that lasts for sweet nothings, before Sasuke pulls back again, reveling in the soft heat coming from her body and this little seemingly unaware motion.

Sasuke's expensive coat is an obscenity, carelessly thrown over the black leathered armchair sitting in the corner of his office. However, the Uchiha has an excuse for this, just in case his boss comes in questioning with his one eye dismantling all of Sasuke's excuses. Hell, it isn't like Kakashi is any better than Sasuke is.

It is late August, and Sasuke now thinks that he was indeed very naïve to think that a single vacation, for as nice as it may be, is never enough to leave him ready for work again, especially under this heat. Unfortunately, under this unforgiving climate, some people have to give their everything to their job, so they have the opportunity to have some lighter days of work, as promised by their boss, for as remote as that chance may be.

That is the case of Sasuke, and, with the possibility of ending work shifts earlier than usual as proposed by Kakashi, he just can't refuse his unhappy fate. That is the reason of the reports, books, files, papers with notes, papers with some lazily and even papers wasted in shitty doodles (his specialty, like Naruto calls it) scattered all over the glass surface of a generally neat desk, in which Sasuke takes great pride. The space connecting the grey door to the desk is covered in failed projects of paper airplanes which had no fate but responding to the seducing call of gravity; secondary effects of the Uchiha's frustration. The armchair at the corner is assaulted by the coat and its own share of discarded pieces of paper, mostly tightly crumpled balls – fails.

With his usually ruffled hair turned even wilder by frustrated hands and a complete lack of will to deal with any more work, Sasuke Uchiha stands in the middle of this war site.

Frustrated, Sasuke's fingers dig into the arms of his chair, and his feet set on the ground just before he makes the chair spin around like he should be doing nothing, like he is going to get any satisfaction from spinning around and watching the passing blurs of his office's furniture. For the first time in some minutes, the young man shows any sign of satisfaction, with a satisfied grin as he feels the air rasping his skin.

Feeling betrayed by what only he knows, Sasuke suddenly stops and buries his face against the big, dusty book at the desk in a whimsy, minor outburst of aggravation. His head angrily snaps back up, though, at the rhythmical and cheerful knock on the door, which the Uchiha knows to go by Kakashi's knocking.

"Yes," Sasuke says, sounding angry and bored the same time.

His boss comes in looking rather refreshed, Sasuke thinks, keeping a sore twitch on the fan Sasuke knows to be set and functional in the grey-haired man's office. And with that, Sasuke feels betrayed as if he was deprived from something incredibly wonderful and rightful to him. As usual, Kakashi sports his crinkled eye smile, something Sasuke isn't exactly sure if it is truly meant or just a mask to annoy his subordinates, especially the Uchiha.

(Or so would Neji agree.)

Sasuke doesn't know how Kakashi manages to live with the shirt he wears; colored black and bringing the high collar that Kakashi un-fashionably pulls over his lower face. That is why his boss looks like a damned criminal, and perhaps that is why no one trusts him enough to form a long-lasting romantic relationship with Kakashi. (And Sasuke doesn't criticize them at all.)

"Good afternoon, Sasuke," Kakashi greets him with his smooth, generous voice that in the end of all manages to make the young man feel happier himself. "Just testing something."

This has the Uchiha wondering, as he uses his hands to hold his head up, taking the chance to make a small break. At the while, Kakashi sits on the border of his desk, looking at the plain grey wall standing in front of Sasuke, his everyday panorama; which is really stupid, he figures, since the whole opposite wall is a large window, and the other two are decorated with a couple abstract paintings that don't provide that much environment, but still are better than nothing.

Kakashi taps his table with intrepid fingers before he states as a matter of fact, "Sasuke, you are having a makeover on that wall. It's time we did some redecorating in this company."

It's true, Sasuke agrees. For such a successful company, it is quite a lugubrious looking one, and that always made Sasuke wonder how they manage to get so many clients when their front lobby looks like office of a dead man. It is true; Sasuke does like a nicely decorated, neat place to feel happy.

"It's nice to hear that," he answers.

"I know," his boss replies. "Just wait here for a moment; I will introduce you to someone." And Sasuke feels the strength Kakashi sets upon his desk as he tenses to get on his own weight to get out of the office. But just as Kakashi is about to leave, he asks, "What happened in here, Sasuke?"

Sasuke nibbles his lip and dismisses the question with a wave of his hand, "Please don't ask…"

And Kakashi leaves Sasuke alone with his thoughts. And Sasuke thinks about meeting this new person, perhaps it is yet another of Kakashi's friends that are probably just as twisted as he is, like that uncle of Sasuke's own, Obito. With that, the young man isn't quite sure whether he wants to meet this person or not.

However, his boss comes in to answer his questions, and he doesn't come alone. Right behind him, a tall woman standing about Sasuke's age and height, with short black hair and an androgynous appearance follows, and that woman looks pleasantly refreshed. What is most notable to Sasuke is how he recognizes this woman as the girl from the subway. She smiles at him like she always does and she looks around with inspecting eyes as she takes in the mess that Sasuke's office is right now.

The girl from the subway follows Kakashi at walking to the desk and standing pretty in front of Sasuke. Their eyes meet.

"This is Sai," Kakashi informs, "the artist I arranged to paint some things for our company."

Sai.

Say, that is a nice name. Sasuke's eyes are only for Sai, Sasuke's eyes are transfixed in her posture.

She, Sai, nods and smiles at him once more. Her lips entice Sasuke to do the same because now he knows her name and it is beautiful and it fits her just so. The Uchiha says, "It's nice to know your name, at last. I am Sasuke Uchiha." He does not reach out a hand for the formal handshake, and she doesn't mind it at all.

And she murmurs, "Well, it is."

Some things happen at the same time: Sasuke discovers that Sai truly has a beautiful voice, which Sasuke just happens to love; on the other, not so positive side, Sasuke discovers that Sai must be a male, for that voice is a bit too grave, although smooth, to be a female's.

Something akin to realization hits Sasuke. Hard.

End of part one. (31-03-2010)

I hope you enjoyed reading, and that this didn't seem so awful.

Okay… So it took me less time than I originally planned to finish the first part of this fic, and it's also a bit smaller than I originally thought. Right now, I hate insomnia – this whole chapter was written along nights I couldn't sleep and edited after I got home from school, so it might have some idiotic mistakes.

By the way, this story has two parts, if you want to know. And I think the mood is always constant, I've been feeling good lately, I think that shows through. On other note, the second part of this story might come only after I have finished writing and posted the first part of Wind. I don't know where this whole Naruto kick is coming from; maybe it is from my brother, since it is him who got me into the series.

I'm writing this story for mainly one reason: some time ago I was sitting on the train with my brother, and this really androgynous guy sits in front of us. My brother whispers to me, "That girl is very cute, no?" And I said yes, he was, although a bit androgynous. It was when he finally spoke to a friend he was with that the both of us realized his voice was too deep to be a girl. Silly me and my brother and silly Sasuke…

Oh, and an added note on the second part of this story: either it will be a long, long testimony of my ability to go on and on when this pairing is the subject I'm writing about, or it will be divided into two parts to de-condensate it (hooray for you, another part!). This will include a not-so-arduously worked mural, Sasuke finding little ways to lessen his work and some sweet scenes for your sweet teeth and a sweet lemon for you perverts.

Almost forgot: Amor Caecus Est is Latin for "Love is Blind", or so my brother tells me. I trust his word. I thought it would fit the theme of this chapter very well.

As always, please review; reviews are inspiration to me.