This is a story from the video game Batman: Arkham Asylum. Batman has just defeated Harley, locked her in a cell, and she's pouting that Mistah J. won't come and get her out. I imagined this with the video game's Harley and Heath Ledger's Joker. Because Heath's Joker is sexy enough to die for.

Harley Quinn sat on the old rickety cot and cried. Stupid Batman. He just had to ruin all of Mr. J's plans. Everything was going so well, too. So what if Zsaz, Ivy, and all those worthless henchmen had been pummeled into submission by Bats? Harley was going to catch him and give him his own personal cell here at Arkham while she and Mr. J take over Gotham. "Good job Harley," he would say. But no, Mr. J was just going to leave her here and go take down the Batman by himself. Stupid Mr. J. She sniffled and wiped her eyes. Stupid Harley for being so attached to him. She heard the door to the hallway open and footsteps approach her cell door.

She didn't look up, only hung her head and moped. Something metal hit against the bars. "Why, Harley! What did the Bad Bat do to you?" Joker said, grinning. Harley looked up at him and smiled. "Mistah J! I knew you would come!" She tried to stand up but her wrist was handcuffed to the railing of the cot. She sat back down and pouted. "I'm stuck."

"Yes you are. What should we do about that?" Joker tapped his gun on the bars and looked thoughtful. Harley didn't want to say anything to make him mad and drive him off. She didn't want to risk losing him. Joker grinned and put the gun back in his vest holster. He fished around in his pocket and, after pulling out a capped syringe, a rubber duck, and a few knives, held out a shiny silver key. Harley's heart jumped. He was going to let her out! Joker put the key in the lock. He didn't turn it. He looked up thoughtfully and pursed his lips. Harley leaned forward apprehensively, willing him to unlock that damn door. "You know, a thought just appeared to me." Harley wilted. "Just how did you get in here?"

"It was Bats. He... he caught me," Harley said as quietly as she could. Joker leaned forward. "What was that?" Harley glanced up at him but had to look away. She didn't like the look in his eyes. "Batman caught me." Joker nodded. "He caught you, did he? Well, that's a shame. It makes me wonder why I'm letting you out..." He tilted his head to the side and slowly took the key out of the lock.

"No Mr. J, please! I'm sorry!" she yelled before she could stop herself. Joker stopped and stared at her. "What was that?" Harley swallowed. "I-I'm sorry."

"For?" Joker leaned as far forward as he could.

"For letting Batman get away." She hung her head, watching him out of the corner of her eye. He just looked at her.

"One thing. Harley, I ask you to do one little thing. Bring me the Batman. You didn't even do that one teensy-weensy little thing for me, did you?" Harley didn't answer. She heard the lock turning and she looked up. He was unlocking the cell door. Was he going to let her out after all? But the look in his eyes said otherwise. He put the key in his pocket and stepped inside the cell. Harley looked up at him, almost cowering. She had never seen him look like that, look at her like that. "You're sorry, are you?" Harley nodded. Joker reached into his pocket and took out another handcuff.

He grabbed her wrist and snapped the handcuff onto it. "Mr. J, I-" She stopped when he looked at her. She understood the look in his eyes now. "I don't think you'll be needing those." Joker grinned. "My dear, don't know me very well, do you?" He yanked her arm and cuffed her to the bed railing. He pushed her shoulder, making her lie down on her back. She looked up at him, not really happy with her total situation. She was happy it was happening, but she didn't like being tied down. "Just relax, Harley. No need to squirm." He chuckled and took out his knife. Harley's heart started to pound and her head spun. Joker straddled her and leaned forward, his face close to hers. Harley stared into his eyes, waiting. He raised the knife to her face but didn't put it in her mouth. Instead, he ran it down her cheek, cutting a thin, shallow, red line. Harley gasped and winced a little. Joker narrowed his eyes. "Why so serious?" he said quietly, the knife still going down her face. It reached her jaw and Joker lifted it a little. It still touched her skin but did not cut. It went down her neck, down her chest, and to the top of her shirt. They stared at each other. Joker cut away her shirt, the fabric ripping slowly against the sharp blade. Harley watched him. He took the blade up to her bra and cut it away. He ran the dull side of the blade over her breasts. She closed her eyes. She felt the Joker's weight leave her and she opened them. He was sitting up, putting the knife back in his pocket. He brushed his hair away from his face and started to undo his pants.

"If I wasn't tied up I could help you with that," she said, shifting her hips under him. He raised his eyebrow at her and licked his lips. Harley stared him down, wanting him more than ever. She could feel him growing harder and she flexed her thighs. He got his pants down and leaned down, laying on top of her. She was breathing heavily but he still looked as calm as ever. He reached down and Harley felt cold metal against her inner thigh. She held her breath as Joker cut away her underwear. He paused for a second, then pushed inside her. She gasped and held on to him with her thighs, the cot rocking and creaking as they went.

Her hands clenched into fists and released with the motion of their bodies. Joker leaned closer to her and licked her cheek where the blood was starting to dry. Harley closed her eyes. She could feel it, she could feel herself reaching climax, all of her energy focused on it. She gripped the railing of the bed and let out a moan that progressed into a cry of passion. Joker pulled himself out before he completely released, breathing heavily onto Harley's neck. Harley kept her eyes closed, almost afraid that if she opened them it would all be a dream. She felt lips trace their way up the cut on her face and a cold knife run up and down her arm. She opened her eyes.

The door to the cell block opened and heavy footsteps approached. Harley's eyes widened and Joker looked surprised, almost pleasantly so. Batman noticed the open cell door and when he looked inside-

"Good god!" he said, throwing his arms up over his eyes. Had he just seen what he thought he had? He knew that Harley was obsessed with the Joker but he didn't think their relationship was that deep.

Joker looked up at him. "Do you mind? We're having a private moment here. If you would come back later that would be great," he said. As he spoke he took his gun out from his vest holster. "I would love to engage in a riveting battle with you, but right now my hands are tied. Well, actually Harley's are, but you get the idea." He cackled and fired. Batman, with his eyes covered, didn't stand a chance.