Moolie: Guys, I'm crying.

Ginny: Again?

Moolie: It's just…such a tear-jerker! *bursts into tears*

Aggie: Laaame.

Dan: Why are you two still in swimsuits?

Aggie: I'm enjoying this breeze.

…

Chapter Fourteen: Crazy Few Weeks, Eh?

"Pity Haldir's dead," Aragorn said. He and Gimli were sitting on their respective mounds of Uruk-Hai corpses, each smoking a manly pipe.

"Can't say I miss him," said Gimli after smoking his pipe. "Oh, by the way, you owe me twenty bucks."

Aragorn groaned. Gimli nudged him. "Come on, Gandalf came to save the day…"

Aragorn sighed and pulled out his man purse, grumbling.

Legolas walked up with a bit of a swagger. "Final count," he said, examining his bow, "52."

"Oh," said Gimli. "That's not bad for a little Elvish princeling. I, myself, am sitting happy on 53."

Legolas frowned, quickly pulled out an arrow, and shot the corpse that Gimli was sitting on.

"Fifty-three," said Legolas.

"He was already dead," said Gimli.

"He twitched."

The other men in the area chuckled at Legolas's rapier wit.

"Tevenyel!"

Legolas cringed. He turned slowly. Azimah was walking threateningly towards him.

"Mae govannen," Legolas greeted her weakly, giving her a small hopeful wave.

Aragorn, Gimli, and the rest of the men watched on in amusement as Azimah continued to swear and shout at Legolas in Elvish. Legolas, for his part, was trying to calm her down, but the conversation seemed past repair when she threw her helmet at him.

"Whoa," said Gimli.

"I know, she actually has a face!" said Aragorn as he stuffed his own with popcorn.

They continued to watch as Legolas grabbed Azimah and kissed her softly in an attempt to silence her. She smacked him across the face.

"Ohhh," chorused the watching men.

"Ti tállbe Orch," Azimah said coldly. She picked up her helmet and walked away.

"Le melon," Legolas said under his breath as he watched her stalk off.

Gandalf walked up. "Hey, guys. I've had this really weird urge to visit Isengard. Anyone up for it?"

Aragorn tried to swallow some of his popcorn before he responded, "Sure."

"Anyone up for listening to my CATS soundtrack on the way?" Éowyn piped in.

Everyone groaned.

"There must be someone out there who likes CATS…" she sighed.

…

"BOOOOM!"

"Ah! Save us Precious!" Gollum screamed. Osgiliaith was quite the nasty sight. Catapults, Orcs, Blood, and above all, noise.

Fado, who had been given a new pair of handcuffs, was trailing obediently after Satchel. They were so close to Him, she could feel the dark presences all around. Twitching slightly, she shook herself. She refused to have another episode like earlier.

Faramir brought the company to a halt, conversing with some of the other captains. Fado looked over at the others. Frodo was wide eyed and panting, the circles around his eyes had grown even darker. Sam looked like he was trying to calm him down, though the angry charcoal eyebrows crudely drawn on his face weren't doing much good.

Madril stepped forward, "We have great gifts for Lord Denethor; two weapons of the most precious nature."

Fado seethed with anger. She was about to say something when-

"They're here," Frodo said in a raspy voice. Everyone stared at him. His eyes had rolled up to the back of his head. "They've come." He rasped.

An ear splitting shriek filled the air.

"NAZGUL!" Faramir yelled, pushing the small people out of the way.

Fado found that the handcuffs had mysteriously disappeared in the fray. Looking around she realized that Frodo had wandered off as well. Fado pattered through the rubble, until she found him.

"FRODO!" She screamed. There he was, standing atop a ruined building as a Nazgul and his Fellbeast bore down. Fado ran forward, afraid she would be too late. However, Sam was thankfully on schedule and tackled Frodo out of the way. Fado watched as they rolled down the stairs. Frodo had Sam pinned to the ground with a knife at his throat.

"No!" Fado tackled Frodo, tearing him off of Sam. They scrambled around for a while, until, with a thud, Fado was pinned on her back against a wall.

"Frodo," she said weakly. Frodo pressed Sting up against her throat. "You don't want to do this." Fado said slowly.

Frodo looked confused, like he was caught between two places at once. Fado slowly reached up and pulled Sting out of range of her jugular.

"You have to control yourself…" Fado said smiling a little. Nervously, she grasped the front of his shirt, drawing him closer. Timidly she leaned upward and pressed her lips to his. She felt him tense up, then slowly relax. He tangled his hands in her hair, drawing her closer. She was warm, she was sweet, he didn't want to let her go…

Faramir watched a little ways away. He turned to Madril.

"You've got to stop." Faramir said.

"Stop what?" Madril replied.

"Stop torturing them like the sicko you are." Faramir retorted. "Can't you see how crazy they are for one another?"

"Captain Faramir, they are prisoners of war." Madril said seriously.

"Not anymore they're not."

"What?"

"I'm letting them go, they're of no harm to us."

And with that, Faramir walked towards the little couple who were now helping Sam to his feet. The three looked up inquisitively.

"I have made my decision," Faramir said. "You all may go; you are no longer captives."

Sam burst into happy tears; it had been a very trying day for him.

"Come on, let's go find Smeagol," Frodo said, taking Fado's hand.

"Not so fast."

They all turned to see Madril backed with some of the other captains.

"Captain Faramir," Madril said dryly. "The other captains and I have conferred that while losing one valuable weapon is costly, two would be most unacceptable."

"Meaning…?" said Faramir.

"Meaning that one of those two must stay behind." Madril pointed to Frodo and Fado.

"We stay together," Frodo stated protectively.

"I'll stay." Fado said. Everyone looked at her.

"No." Frodo said immediately.

"I won't be able to last much longer, you know that." Fado said quietly. "You must get to Mordor."

"It's settled then," Madril seized Fado, dragging her away.

"NO!" Frodo yelled, rushing forward.

"Hold him." Madril ordered, as he dragged Fado farther away.

"FADO!" Frodo shouted as he struggled.

But Fado was already out of sight. Frodo continued to struggle.

"Mister Frodo." Sam said. "We'd better get going."

…

"Hey, Merry, look! If you go really fast, you can walk on it!"

Merry gave him a muffled reply as he lay, face flat, eating Jell-O.

"C'mon, Nora!" said Pippin. Nora joined him in bouncing along on the raspberry goo.

"Sooo…" Pippin started. "Crazy few weeks, eh?"

Merry made a snarky comment, but unfortunately no one could hear him, seeing as his face was buried in the gelatin. Pippin laughed on impulse.

"Hey, Pippin," Nora said. Pippin was slightly afraid of the serious tone in her voice. "Would you…want to just stay friends…?"

"Oh…" said Pippin. He lowered his head a bit. "I sort of liked us together…"

"Well…just until the war's over," she said as reassuringly as possible. "Y'know, just in case anything complicated comes up."

"I guess I could do that," Pippin said in an effort to be cheerful. He looked over to see Merry chomping his way across the sea of Jell-O. "What's he up to?"

"Look where he's going," said Nora, pointing towards what looked like a store room.

"Wait, my hobbit senses are tingling. That must be food!" Pippin exclaimed, bouncing across the Jell-O at lightning speed.

Nora sighed and looked down at her boots. "We're always the comic relief in the story."

She looked up and spotted Pippin and Merry running joyfully around the storeroom. She smiled.

"Maybe things will change in part three."

Still smiling at her success in foreshadowing, she followed.

END OF PART TWO.

…

Moolie: Guys, I'm sobbing.

Dan: Moolie, it's okay. *wraps his arm around her shoulders supportively*

Aggie: Look at Dan, makin' a move.

Ginny: I look forward to Part Three, gentlemen.

Aggie: I look forward to rolling in this celebratory mud. Come, Elephant.

Donald: Haroo!

Aggie: No, not again! Not a cannonball!