Author's note: Happy April Fool's day! I decided to celebrate it by presenting you another short oneshot trying to be funny. Please understand this is just a joke.

Warning: Female Naruto story

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If you think otherwise, you are even more guillible than some characters in this story.

Just what did you expect?

Tsunade needed a drink. She knew it the moment the two walked into her office. Unfortunately Shizune had hidden her whole stash earlier today, threatening she wouldn't give it back until she finished her paperwork. Looking at the heaps of papers covering her table, the female Sannin didn't think it would be anytime soon, if ever. She was tempted to simply walk up to Shizune and shake her until she gave up the key. Or she could simply order her to. Who was the Hokage anyway? She or her assistant?

She cut off such useless train of thought. She had more pressing matters to attend, namely the two shinobi standing in her office. They seemed perfectly impassive and collected, but Tsunade wasn't a Hokage for nothing and she could see the tension and anxiety in the both of them. It was a very unusual state for both of them to be. It meant they had caused some major trouble and it was about to come back and bite everybody around in their collective behind. It meant she really needed a drink. Knowing those two, whatever they were about to tell her would threaten her sanity unless she wrapped it in protective cocoon of alcohol. And Shizune had to choose today to hide her sake…

"So what is it," she asked exasperatedly, already feeling the first twinges of the headache the duo of doom would undoubtedly give her. The two looked at each other, daring the other to start. It didn't seem like anybody would. When the silence dragged on too long, the shorter of the two figures withdrew a scroll from her pouch and handed it to the Hokage. The Legendary Medic opened it and scanned through it. She immediately regretted getting up in the morning. Maybe if she drank enough sake she would forget what was written there… but no, that damned Shizune confiscated her booze just when she needed it the most. The headache was now a given.

"What is the meaning of this, Jiraiya," she asked in a low tone, her honey eyes hard and cold.

"Well, hime, it's like that…" the big man scratched his head nervously.

"Like what," she prodded, her tone calm like the quiet before the storm, or more likely a hurricane. "I trust you with the wellbeing of my little sister, let you go around with her for training, and you let this happen?"

"Hold your horses, Tsunade-hime. I can explain," the white-haired man said.

"You better," his old teammate replied. Or else was left unsaid, but Jiraiya heard it anyway.

"It's not his fault, baa-chan," the younger kunoichi rushed to his aid. She hit the Hokage with her most powerful weapon, the dreaded Puppy Dog Eyes. It looked especially cute on her whiskered face. The blonde Sannin felt a bit of her anger dissipating, but only a bit.

"Oh," the older woman raised her eyebrow. "And just how it isn't his fault?"

"He was explaining me the facts of life… and then it somehow turned into a practical demonstration…"

"And that is an excuse for him getting you pregnant?"

"Well," the young mother-to-be shrugged, "you sent a Super-Pervert on three-year trip with a pretty girl," she pointed to herself. "Just what did you expect?"

A.N.: So what do you say? I might even write a sequel if you like it and if I feel like it.