A/N: This is pretty much T-rated fluff. Hope you enjoy, tell me what you think. :)

I have been dead for seven days.

SEVEN DAYS!

I'm going insane! Do you know how hard it is to keep a normal amount of brain cells with no outside stimulation for a period longer than 72 hours? Harder than tough noodles, that's how hard it is! So that's what I blame it on when she walks in.

"Hey Spencer, how's it shakin'?" she asks. She just waltzes right in, a goddess from the outside world. I haven't had any human contact other than Carly in way longer than the recommended amount of loneliness. And it doesn't help that her skirt's pretty short.

"Great! Perfect!" I exclaim a little too excitedly. "I'm just peachy, wanna sit on the couch?"

She stares at me like I might have a mental illness, which I'm sure is possible by now. But she answers, "Sure, it's where I was headed anyway. Where's Carls?"

"Oh out, somewhere, gone for a few hours." I can't remember the details as I sit close to her. They aren't important right now anyway.

"Seriously, Spencer, what's up with you? Is this about you pretending to be dead?" She's laughing a little now.

"Maybe. A little. I'm so bored I'm going crazy!" I tell her.

"Really..." she says in a scheming sort of way, and winks.

I can't think straight, so I don't know what she's getting at. "What are you thinking? Sam, you gonna entertain me or what."

She just winks again, and gets a little closer.

Uh oh, I think, but do nothing to stop her.

I'm sitting criss-cross on the couch, and she's standing on her knees right against me, which puts our faces right next to each other. She has a beautiful half smile. A sexy half smile. "How 'bout this," she breathes, and puts her lips right on mine.

Okay, okay, this is fun, I think. She's right, I'm less bored now, I admit, but she doesn't stop there.

Somehow she's managed to get my mouth open, and it's now occupied by her tongue. Her arms are around my neck and from the way she's leaning on me, I'm about to be under her rather than in my current upright position. With a lot of difficulty, I manage to pull her off of me.

"Sam!" I yell. "This wasn't exactly what I was thinking!" That's a lie, it's totally what I was thinking, but I know I've got to stop it before it goes too far.

"Oh, it's totally what you were thinking, don't lie," she berates me. Dang. I guess I'm more obvious than I thought. I lie again anyway.

"Okay Sam, but it's not you, it's just that I'm so bored, and you happened to walk in, so I thought a little kiss wouldn't hurt anyone, but I don't want this going anywhere..." I'm rambling. She stares at me with a beautiful bored expression. A sexy bored expression.

"Do you really think I believe a word of this?"

"...No."

"Right, then let's get back to it." She gives me one more kiss before she pulls her shirt off over her head.

This... may be a little far, I think, but there's no use trying to stop. There is no way I can pull myself away from her. As we kiss like crazy, she's got her fingers in my hair and one hand on mine, showing me where she wants me to put it. I lean into her so she falls back a little, and now I'm pretty much on top of her. I move my lips down her neck and to her collarbone, and my hands mess with the straps of her bra. I'm not brave enough to unhook it, so it stays on. I make my way back up to her lips as I realize she's undone half my shirt buttons already. She gets about 3/4 done and doesn't bother with the rest, she just wraps her arms around my waist, her skin on mine.

Suddenly she jerks herself up and stops kissing me, to my extreme disappointment. "Spencer!" she yells. "We have to stop!"

"What? Why?!" She's the one who forced herself on me. Well, she did force herself on a willing subject. But still.

"I can't make out with a dead guy! It's gross!"

She tells me this with a cold, serious expression, and I think she's not kidding. But it turns into that sexy half smile, and we switch positions, with her on top, and continue where we left off.