Hey everyone! So, this is my first thing on here so don't be too mean but I love constructive critism. =) I hope you'll all like this and I'd love some reviews! Thanks!! =D

Chapter 1

Damned Moron

So…Naruto is a psychotic, moronic loser with half a brain and you know what? I think I'm in love with the guy. Ha, weird considering everyone in town considers me to be a heartless bastard. Hey, can't blame me that Naruto's hot but that's not even the only reason I like the guy. Actually…I'm not sure why I'm attracted to such an idiot. Maybe it's because he's my fucking best friend. Or I've finally lost my mind. Either one works.

But anyways…I'm guessing it's pretty damn hard to believe that me, Sasuke Uchiha, is in love with an idiot like Naruto Uzumaki. Right? Well, frankly, I don't believe it either. So I'm going to attempt to see if this is all a horrible nightmare from which I shall wake up from in, oh, somewhere near five seconds.

One…Two…Three…Four…Five……………………Damn.

Okay, so that didn't work. Unless…*SMACK!* Nope that didn't work either…it just hurt. I turned to look in the mirror. My cheek was red and I could feel it stinging. Great. Just great. Good thing no one else was here. Well…actually this house is always empty thanks to a certain brother. *cough*Itachi*cough*

I turned to look at the clock on my bedside table. It said midnight…maybe I should at least try to get some sleep. Yeah…sleep. That might help me think straight. Plus, even if it doesn't I've got school tomorrow. I hate high school. Then again…I hate a lot of things. Oh well.

My feet dragged the rest of my body to the bed on the other side of my room. I plopped down and stared up at the ceiling. *sigh* This felt like it was going to be a long night…

"Sasuke-kun…"Naruto breathed the words in my ear. His head was resting on my shoulder while he had me pinned up against the wall. One hand was running through my hair while the other was making its way up my shirt. Ohh…that felt so good…

"Naruto-kun…oh…"I moaned. He pulled my shirt off and licked my face. Slowly, and so seductively he kissed around my lips making me grab him and kiss him to no end. We were two thrashing bodies heading for my bed. The second we dropped down to the bed he whispered something so soft into my ears but before I could figure out what he said, I felt a pain. On my back.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked so sweet and innocently. "Are you—"

*CRASH!*

"Holy crap…what just…" I looked around. I was still in my room, on the floor. Must have fallen off the bed. So it was a dream…What the hell has gotten into me lately? I ran a hand through my hair and looked out the window. The sun was bright; too bad it did nothing for my stupidly pale complexion. I looked like a piece of shit next to Naruto's glowing and adorable face. Well, actually, according to everyone else, I'm the supposed hottest guy or something. Like I could care. Well I guess I got my answer…so I do like Uzumaki. Hmmm…this is not happening. I'm an Uchiha. But that honestly doesn't mean too much nowadays, now does it? Maybe I should pick my ass and whatever dignity I have left off the floor and into the bathroom. It's probably already…SHIT! Its 7:45! I overslept!! Gotta get ready. Gotta get out. Go to school. Fifteen minutes to get there. Damn. Damn. Damn. Did I mention, Damn? No? Okay, Damn.

"OWWWW! Sakura-chan!! What did I do this time????" I heard a loud smack as I walked into the classroom, then Naruto's obnoxious voice screamed out.

"You idiot! How dare you say my Sasuke doesn't love me! Of course he does so back off bitch! Cha!" Her eyes were burning flames I got a little scared but it was mostly annoyance.

"Uh…Sakura-chan?" Naruto whimpered.

"What now? You want another punch?" She pulled back to slam his face and as much as that does amuse me I was partially scared that she would hurt Naruto. But right before her fist interacted with his face he yelled.

"LOOK!" He was pointing at me. Everyone turned in my direction. Sakura was last of course; she turned rather slowly compared to all the rest actually. And when she saw me standing there her face blushed so much it almost matched her hair.

"Sasu…ke-kun…" She fainted. Well…that's one way to start the morning. Some chuckles escaped the mouths of a few classmates. Ok. I turned around and sat down, opening my textbook to the page on the board. More Algebra review…oh well. Might as well just get it over with.

The bell rang and Kurenai walked in the door.

"Okay class. Today we'll be going over…" I drowned out her words with my thoughts. Finishing the pages was easy, easy enough that I was done already. My eyes searched for Naruto. He was sitting two seats ahead of me with his hands behind his back. The idiot was leaning back in his chair as if…*WHAM!* Yeah, told you.

"Uzumaki!" Kurenai said firmly. Naruto scrambled to get back up, hitting his head on his desk in the process.

"Yes ma'am!" Now he was standing so straight I wouldn't have been surprised if he saluted her.

"Sit down. Now. And stop disrupting my class." She addressed him and turned back to the board, writing another equation down. Naruto sat down, rubbing his head. Laughing was faintly heard but it was there. Like I said before, he has HALF A BRAIN. And yet, here I am, smirking smugly while thinking about how cute he looked. Damn.

The next half hour went by pretty quickly. So did the next five periods plus lunch. I was mostly distracted the entire time. Not like that affected my grades or anything, I was flawless to all my teachers and supposedly a genius or something. Whatever. Seventh period…we've literally got ten minutes left before I can leave this hell-hole. One, I'm looking forward to leaving and two; I know Naruto is walking home with me. I catch myself smiling again but luckily it wasn't for too long so no one really pays much attention anyways.

Now, compared to how fast the rest of the day went these last few minutes felt like torture. Everything seemed like it was slowed down or something. My English teacher was ranting about some use of semi-colons or something like that shit. Like I care. That's not going to help me anytime in the visible future.

Seven minutes…

So, now that I know I like him, what am I supposed to do? Obviously not planning to tell him anytime soon. Well…he is an idiot so maybe I can mess with his head just a little bit. Hehe…

Six minutes…

Wait didn't he say he liked Sakura? Nahh…Since she likes me she probably won't even bother with Naruto. The only thing he really looks like to her besides a comrade is a punching bag.

Five minutes…

Major problem is I've got no one to talk to about this. Then again, even if my parents or Itachi were still around I doubt I'd have the guts to actually tell them that I like a…guy. I mean, they probably hoped I could revive the clan or something and have some kids with the Uchiha blood in their veins. Too bad, I guess. Guys don't reproduce as far as I know.

Four minutes…

Hmmm…what if Naruto uses his jutsu? I mean it looks real enough but I don't think that means he can have kids just because of some perverted jutsu. But…what if? Ah, forget it. Doesn't really make too much sense to me anyways.

Three minutes…

Now what happens if I tell Naruto I like him and he likes me back? Yeah right, but just rhetorically speaking? We'd both be pretty damn happy. I mean we could definitely have some…fun. A devious little smirk danced its way onto my face. That one I couldn't wipe off.

Two minutes…

But what happens if he is grossed out or something? Wouldn't that mean the end of our friendship/rivalry? I would not want that to happen because even though I'd never ever say this out loud to anyone, I really like having such a good friend. The dork's my only real friend actually.

One minute…

So maybe, maybe friendship is all I really want from him? No, that can't be it. If that were it I wouldn't want to fuck him so badly. Ha…

Thirty seconds…

Plus, if we stay friends and all we hang out right? Now what would I do if we ever had a sleepover. No. I can't. If he ever offers I'd be way too tempted to stay away when he'll be right there within my grasp. And…

*BUZZ*

Shit, that was the bell. Everyone had their things ready and most people were heading out the door. I rushed to gather my things and probably looked like a mess but whatever. I had to get outside, either way; the idiot will probably be later than me anyways.

Arrghh…Someone up there doesn't seem to like me very much. Or at least they don't like the idea of Naruto and I being together. Sucks for them. And me. My locker took forever to open up and then all my papers fell out. I noticed some stares and the occasional snicker from some onlookers. Losers. They had no lives if all they wanted to do was laugh at other people's misfortune. Wait…don't I do that to Naruto? Ha, yeah I do. Oh well, different story.

After what seemed like an eternity I walked out the doors of hell and down the steps. Naruto was standing there, looking for me.

"Yo, bastard, you're late." It's honestly so hilarious when he tries to act cool.

"Am I? Nope. You're early loser. What? Missed me too much that you had to rush out so early?" I joked, even though I partially wished that was the truth.

"Yeah right. Iruka sensei let us out early." He snorted.

"What's he doing here?" Iruka was our elementary school teacher. Why would he be in hell?

"He's teaching us about…" He paused and looked down at his shoes. "Umm…"

"Spit it out moron." He shot me a glare and I glared back. I win. Again.

"Uh…sex…" Naruto said this so softly it was almost inaudible. "But aside from that, ready to go?" I partially wanted to laugh at how uncomfortable he was being about sex. It's not like he's still a virgin or something, right? We've all been hit at least once, I mean come on?

"Well retard, I've been ready since I walked out the door but you wanted to talk about sex right?" My face was so straight I doubt I looked human. Ha. He looked like he was blushing a little.

"Whatever. Let's go." We started walking. Naruto jabbered on about something Choji did in class. I think he said the guy fell asleep or something and fell onto Shikamaru. Dumbass. Actually, more like fat-ass. Then all of a sudden he got quiet which meant something was wrong. Now what?

"Alright. Spill."

"What?"

"I'm no idiot, you are. Now what the hell's bothering you?"

"Umm…you think it's weird I'm still a virgin even though we're seniors in high school?" The question caught me a little off-guard so it took me about a split-second longer to process a response. But the day he would notice that is the day the world ends.

"You're still a virgin? I would have thought even a moron like you might have gotten something by now. Apparently not loser." So maybe I could…No. I mentally smacked myself.

"Well, the thing is…I'm kind of…different." He looked really shy. That's a first.

"We all know you're different. In what way exactly are you referring?"

"You have to promise you won't tell anyone else."

"I make no promises."

"Sasuke!"

"Okay, okay. Calm down dobe. I promise, now spill."

"I'm…" Naruto hesitated again, staring at the ground. At this point, he had stopped walking.

"Just say it, will you?" I urged. It was annoying and I was actually interested now.

"So…I'm kind of, sort of, somewhat…" he paused to look me in the eyes. "Sasuke." The way he said my name got me a little worried. I nodded, hoping he would continue already. "Sasuke…I'm bisexual."

TBC?

SOOO? What do you think? Was it okay for my first? I already have the second chapter written but I'm only going to post it if people are going to read it, so, so you want more? Tell me! =)