I do not own Naruto.

(^)

Threat Mail

(^)

Inzuku,

Get your paws off my girlfriend.

Re: What the hell?

Dobe.

Touch her and your ramen will forever be gone.

Re: NO! I LOVE HINATA-CHAN!

Touch ramen and you die, Teme!!!!!!!!!!!

Hyuuga.

Die.

Re: I will not dignify that even with a proper response.

Kakashi.

Look at her the wrong way and you'll be too late for the hospital.

Re: I'm her teacher, Sasuke. That's just gross.

Spandex,

Stop being yourself.

Sakura will never love you.

Re: THEN I SHALL RUN A THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHA ON MY HANDS
AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT THEN I WILL DO FOUR THOUSAND PUSHUPS
AND IF I CAN'T DO THAT THEN I SHALL DRINK FORTY GALLONS OF WATER
AND IF I CAN'T DO THAT THEN I SHALL FIGHT ONE HUNDRED NINJAS FROM MIST, AND IF I CAN'T DO THAT—

Sasuke: You'll die.

Lazyass,

Stop asking her to play shogi with you.

She doesn't like you.

Re: She's the only smart one.

Bug Boy,

Stop thinking she's your friend.

Re: But she is.

Gay Wannabe Artist,

Stop calling her Ugly.

Actually, stop calling her period.

Re: I have heard of this emotion, it's called jealousy, the proper def—

Sand Creep,

Sleep with one eye open.

Re: I can't sleep, Uchiha

Sand Creep's Brother,

She's not a puppet.

Re: What the hell? I know that!

And am I REALLY known as Gaara's brother?!

Bomb Art Thing,

Stop drooling or you'll die.

Re: It's Deidara, yeah!

Aniki,

Don't think about her period.

Re: Otouto,

Jealousy does not suit you.

Fatso,

She hates BBQ chips

Re: NO ONE hates BBQ!!!

"Sasuke! What are these letters?! There's only about six hundred more!"

"…You hate BBQ chips, don't you?"