this is a disclaimer.

AN: Totally, totally, totally AU, since before TPM. Mostly born out of me thinking about how sheltered canon!Padmé's been throughout her life, which made me think she and Anakin and therefore the entire galaxy would have been better off if she'd had a different profession, and I think there was even a challenge about this years ago? ANYWAY THE POINT IS THE AU PLOT BUNNIES ARE TAKING OVER MY BRAIN. Uncool, guys.

(The prologue is only really a prologue and not a part of the actual story by virtue of it being intended as a oneshot that then spawned something rather... longer.)

prologue: roses, when you ain't got none

Padmé's apartment had never been particularly big, but right now it seemed smaller than ever. Anakin's pacing could do that to a place.

She just wished he'd take that cloak off - not that it didn't make him look gorgeous and melodramatic and dashingly romantic. But every time he made one of those quick, restless turns, she found herself afraid the edge of it was going to knock something over.

"This isn't going to work," he said.

Something twisted in her chest when he said that. Oh, she'd known it all along; right from the start it had been a ridiculous dream, the Queen's-aide-turned-doctor and the slave-turned-Jedi. From the moment Sabé had re-introduced them after the attempt on her life nearly four years ago, it had been a ridiculous dream.

But to hear him say so hurt her more than she could ever explain.

"I know," Padmé said dully. "I know, Anakin, but don't worry. I can make arrangements - go back home. They do have med centres in Theed, you know."

Anakin stopped pacing and blinked at her. "Back to Theed? Well, sure, if you want. It'd probably be easier for me to find work here on Coruscant, though."

She frowned at him. "Work? What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?"

They stared at each other in perplexed silence. Finally Anakin gave himself a shake and crossed the room to kneel in front of her chair, taking her hands in his.

"I'm talking about the fact that I'm going to leave - no, no, not a word. Let me finish. I'm going to leave the Jedi Order. And we're going to get married, finally. And then I'm going to sort out a job, and we're - stop shaking your head at me, love! - we're going to bring up our babies."

"We can't," Padmé said. "I won't let you - you're too important to waste on - on -"

"On the children I'm having with the woman I love?" Anakin demanded incredulously. "Hey!"

"On me, yes," Padmé said. "You're the Hero With No Fear - you're the hope of the entire Republic."

"The only person I want to be the hope of is you," Anakin said flatly.

She tried to squirm away, but his hands just closed more firmly around hers. It was pointless anyway, and she knew it: trying to talk Anakin Skywalker out of a course of action he'd already decided on was like trying to stop the tides from turning.

And anyway. If she were honest with herself... she wanted him to do it. She wanted him to abandon that damned Order, to leave the war behind, to be able to marry her without fear of the Council tearing them apart. She wanted him to be a father to their children.

Sabé would help them if they needed it. Hell, she'd practically flung Padmé at Anakin, thoroughly delighted with the mutual attraction she sensed between her two friends. Encouraged them every step of the way. She wouldn't balk at marriage and babies.

But there was still the war.

"Anakin, you're one of the best commanders, the most successful Generals the Republic has. And don't look at me like that; just because I vote Opposition doesn't mean I don't follow the Holonet."

Anakin smiled faintly. "Love, I know. I know how good I am at this, trust me. And that - that's part of the problem. You were the one who makes me talk about it, and - and get help whenever I'm home. You were there when my mother died - you know what I almost did..."

She did know. Padmé knew very well; never had she been so frightened as when she'd seen the look on his face in that tent.

Sabé had made him take her along on his search in case Shmi needed her help, but in the end, Anakin had been the one she'd saved.

Finally she managed to pry her hands out of his and cup his scarred, lovely face. Ah, his eyes were far too old to belong to a twenty-three year old boy. He should carefree and full of life, just leaving higher education, getting his first job.

If he were that boy, would she still love him so much?

Yes. Always.

Padmé sighed softly. "What if the Chancellor asks you to retain your post in the Army?"

Anakin's smile was like the sun coming up. "Then he can hobble down and ask me himself. As far as I'm concerned, once I leave the Order, I'm outta there."

"I still think they need you."

"You need me. Our babies need me. Force, Padmé, you're a doctor - an excellent doctor - at one of the busiest med centres on Coruscant. Being a single working mother is bad enough when you've just got one child. We're having twins. And what, you thought I'd just breeze into their lives every few months for a day, or a couple of hours, and then breeze out of it again? I couldn't do that. And you couldn't put up with it. Nor should you have to."

She twined a lock of blond hair around her fingers. "You don't have to make this decision now."

He barked a laugh. "It's not like we've got the money to float along and trust in the Gods of the bank balance to sort everything out eventually."

An eyebrow went up. "You think money is the problem here?"

"Well, it's certainly one of the things that's forcing us to take a more practical approach to this."

"Oh, when did you grow up so much and how did I miss it?"

"Telling a guy he's gonna be a father will do that to him. Wait, was I not grown up when we started this?"

"In a lot of ways, yes. In some others, not so much."

"Cradle-snatcher."

She grinned. "Oh, but it was worth it."

Anakin grinned back. "Good," he said. Paused a moment, eyes shining as he looked up at her, and there was nothing in the world that could make her feel as beautiful - as adored - as he could, with just a look and a smile. "Padmé Amidala Naberrie. Will you marry me?"

Padmé leaned forwards and drew his head up to kiss him, gentle brush of her lips over his. "Yes," she whispered, shivering as his breath ghosted over her face. "Yes, Anakin Skywalker, I will."