Just to make it clear, I don't own the property of Alice in Wonderland and the surrounding things that are not mine. Obviously. I just don't know the laws of this crap, and I'm not making any money off of it, but people are retarded. So that is my disclaimer. Seriously, if I owned it there would be no need to make fanfiction. On with the story!

Tarrant swallowed nervously as he watched Alice Kingsley chattering vivaciously with Mirana and the Tweedles. She'd been with him in Underland for about a year, now, and while they had their moments, things could not have been happier. Hatter was a mostly healed man, though still quite mad--that would be for life, and Alice had adjusted to living with said madman and seemed to always bring him back with extreme grace and unending patience. Her (and his too) favorite way was to simply kiss him, but he had to be relatively still for that to work. No thought in his head could compete with Alice's soft, warm, slow-moving, tender, comforting, passionate...

"You look like you're about to break the news that the Red Queen's come back to power," came a snarky voice beside him.

"And you look like you're fading in from thin air. What do you want, Chessur?" Hatter tersely replied.

The cat's grin grew wider, if possible. "Touchy today."

"Did you just come here to mock me?"

"I came to get those three out of your way," Chessur motioned towards Alice's companions.

Tarrant looked gloomy. "Let her have her fun."

A disappearing smoke-face shook its head. "Not a chance."

Hatter saw his love's friends depart as she bounded towards him, a bright smile and eyes full of happiness. He couldn't help it, her mood was contagious and a smile played upon his lips. "Did you have fun, my dear?"

She nodded emphatically, but before she could explain, he pulled her closer, staring into her eyes with extreme seriousness in his gaze. Tarrant Hightopp took her right hand in both of his own.

"Alice Kingsley?" he asked, slightly timid.

She was a bit confused. "Yes, Tarrant?"

He removed his hat, continuing to look serious. Muchness, please come back for at least a moment. "Alice, I love you very much, as you know." She nodded. "My hat has been my most favorite possession for years and years, but it does not compare to you. Underland tradition is to give what thing you cherish most when..." he paused. This wasn't coming out as perfectly as he'd rehearsed, so he changed pace. "Alice, will you marry me?"

Her breath caught, heart pounding in pure bliss. "Tarrant, yes! I will most certainly marry you! You're the only man I would ever marry." Flooded with emotion, she threw her lips upon his parted ones, wildly, happily kissing him in excitement.

He gently put his top upon her head.

"I'm just going away for a couple nights, Hatter. I promise I'll be home!"

His eyes were a light blue. Sad, but not devastated. "You'll be gone a month, our time. Why do you have to go?"

"You could come with me, Tarrant."

He considered that for a moment. "Maybe I will."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"But Underland's much better."

"And I have to tell my mother and sister I'm to be married to the man I love, and let them know I'm safe and happy," she explained for the hundredth time. He silently nodded, giving in peacefully.

The two arrived by way of a large hollow tree, as Alice looked for signs of where they could possibly be. After finding a familiar road, she and her fiancee walked through the morning gray light, hands tightly melded together. She felt a strange out-of-place-ness, walking up to her large white house.

"ALICE!" screamed her sister the second the door opened. The blonde was choked by her sister's tight embrace. Pulling back, Margaret's eyes widened. "You've been gone for weeks! Are you okay?" Noticing Tarrant, she gasped. "Who is this?"

The Hatter gave a small, apprehensive smile. Alice took his hand. "The reason I couldn't marry Hamish. The reason I had to leave. The man who accepts every little quirk of mine, and the man I love. We're getting married, I thought you and Mom would like to meet him." There, it was all in the open. Margaret seemed to take it rather well, and led them inside. She was probably just happy to see her sister.

After tea had been hastily set, Alice realized how dreadfully spoiled Tarrant had made her. His creations were twenty times better!

Alice's mother looked at her tiredly. "You're happy?"

The blonde girl nodded.

"That's all your father would have wanted for you in a marriage." She turned to Hatter, "What did you say your name was?"

He held his hand to her, "Tarrant Hightopp, Mrs. Kingsley. You are incredibly lucky to have gotten to live with Alice for the many years before I ever could. She's so wonderful, no doubt thanks in part to you. Your blessings to us will not go unappreciated. I love Alice more than life itself, and I will make her as happy as I possibly can forever." Alice giggled at his little speech--Tarrant could be quite the charmer.

Mrs. Kingsley reddened, embarrased but flattered, and shook his hand warmly. "I'm very glad. You know, I'm sure Alice has told you, but you remind me of her father." She glanced at her daughter. "She no doubt fell for you for many of the same reasons I fell for him."

"I can't believe we're doing this in my old bedroom. It's so weird. Well, I guess it's where I met you first, but still!"

Hatter cut her rant off with a kiss, which she eagerly returned as always. Teasingly, he pulled back. "If you want to stop..."

She gave a violently seductive glare and pushed the infuriating madman to the bed, giving a short huff. "If you want to stop," she mocked. Alice tore at his pants, not caring about properly undressing him completely. They were shoved down just enough that she could lower herself slowly, wetly on to him. He moaned as she slid down, enjoying it too much to speak or move, wanting her to continue her maddening devouring of him. Her dress was merely hiked to her waist as she hovered over him, taking every inch he had inside of her.

He gripped her hips tightly as she rode him, both stifling their groans so as not to be heard.

Hatter smiled wickedly, taking this situation as a challenge: could he make her scream out? His hand drifted to their connection, and his fingers slowly rubbed her clitoris up and down. Alice dug her fingernails into the bed, leaning back and moving herself faster. She could feel herself getting close and whispered her lover's name quietly.

With this, Tarrant pulled his hand away and rolled her on her back, kicking his pants off in the process.

"No, not yet."

She whimpered slightly, but his lips met with hers in a passionate tryst. His digits slid up her dress and began to caress her breasts, his thumb paying special attention to her nipple.

Alice wanted him inside of her. Bad. But when she tried to move their hips in such a way that he would end up falling back in, he wouldn't budge. It was time to start driving him equally crazy.

She began moaning as her hand found his hard manhood, and wrapped around it.

Tarrant's eyes rolled back in his head, sufficiently distracted by her maneuver. He shifted to a better position, and plunged back inside with one thrust.

He reached so deep and went so fast that Alice couldn't keep her cry from escaping her lips. Tarrant lasted three more strokes before he exploded, Alice along with him.

Their loving gazes in the quiet aftermath lasted about thirty seconds before there was a rapping on the door.

"Is everything alright?" Margret's voice called. "I heard a yell!"

Alice's face was as red as a rose. "A spider. But Tarrant got it. Sorry!" she managed to respond, hopeful it was convincing enough.

The Hatter just laughed, kissed her forehead, and wrapped his arms around her.

Hatter had come home from a day of hatting for the Queen to find his house almost completely different. His entire collection of hats was now artistically displayed along every wall in the house, arranged by color, shape, and size. There were also a lot of items he'd never seen before adorning bookshelves and tables. Strange as it was to get used to, he liked it.

He found Alice on her knees, studying a piece of paper.

"Oh," she turned around, not having seen him until he said a gentle hello.

"The house--I like it," he smiled, then knelt beside her and kissed her cheek.

The blonde looked relieved and happy, "I was nervous you'd hate it. I brought all my things from my old world. Look at this diary entry I wrote many years ago!"

Tarrant took the wrinkled parchment as his eyes drifted across the words.

Diary,

Mum says not to bother her with my dreams anymore, but that's okay. They don't scare me as much as they used to, because Daddy said I can't be hurt. There's an angry mouse, a frighteningly bonkers madman with a giant hat, (Tarrant laughed here) two rabbits that really need some mental help, and all sorts of other odd characters. I have these dreams every night no matter what. But what's even curiouser is that I've grown to think of these people as my friends. I know they aren't real...but I kind of hope I can have tea with them every night. Mum never has to yell at me to go to bed anymore, because I'm almost so eager that I hop right in. My sister just yells at me if I talk to her about anything. I think Daddy is the only one who really cares about me in the family, sometimes.

I wish the people in my dream, people that actually seem to like me, were real. They're the only real friends I have, that I can be myself around.

And if you promise to keep it a secret, the madman with the hat, who also is obsessed with tea, is kind of cute. Diary, if you tell anyone, I'll burn you up and get a replacement!

Love,

Alice Kingsley

"I have to say I always thought you were an extraordinarily sweet child, but if you wrote this, that's proof. I can't believe you thought I was cute!" Tarrant kissed her tenderly, touched that she had always been his.

She smiled. "You've always been my best friend, and you have no idea how happy I was when it hit me that you loved me just as much as I loved you. I always wanted to fall in love and marry a man that was my best friend."

With that, he embraced her tightly.

"Tarrant, what did you think of me?" she wondered.

He thought for a second. "Well, at first I thought you were just a normal girl, as you thought me mad and didn't seem to have fun at the tea party. When I got to know you, I found you extremely endearing and caught myself wishing you were older. When you came back just that, I was ecstatic and it was all I could do to not kiss you. I desperately wanted our first kiss to be perfect, so I kept waiting. Our first kiss was certainly great, if you remember, but far from what I ever wanted. I should have done it on the balcony before you slay the Jabberwock, or before you left when I thought you'd left for good. However, now I simply fall more in love each passing minute!"

Her heart flew, and the two held each other, punctuating every few seconds with a kiss. Silence could be very comfortable and relaxing, indeed, when you were so in love.

End.

(And they lived happily ever after!)