Choices

by Caz

Disclaimer in force, so leave me alone!

Rated K+

Gibbs struggled against with, not only the thought, but his feet, too as he forced himself to remain where he was as he watched Abby look at him from across the room, her eyes full of unshed tears, silently pleading for more than he wanted to give right then.

It had been a long time coming, this moment, and now it was here, he found it harder than he'd ever thought possible. He still cared about her, so damned much, but he was afraid of stepping over the line - the line between friend and a friend that cared too much, and he was most definitely the latter.

"He...he's ended it, Gibbs. He's left me because I wasn't right for him, he said." The tremble in her voice, the pain in her eyes was almost Gibbs' undoing but he held firm and he knew that she was aware that he was fighting against her.

"I'm sorry," Gibbs said slowly, his deep voice resonating around her small lounge. "What can I do to help, Abby? Do you want me to talk to him. Punch his face. Tell him what a worthless bum he is. What, Abby?" Gibbs inwardly cringed at the sarcasm in his hurtful words.

Abby didn't even to hide the blow that his cutting questions emitted from her hurt soul. Deep inside, she couldn't really blame his bitterness. She had hopelessly fallen in love with Marty who still loved her, she knew, but he couldn't live with their individual differences despite them being otherwise perfect for each other.

And now she had lost him and the man that stood before her was now hurting her even more. Abby dropped her watery gaze to her feet as she grappled with the little pride that she had left. Feeling the moisture fall from her eyes, watching it as it landed on her pants, Abby squeezed her eyes shut, pushing the remaining tears out so that when she faced Gibbs again those same tears would not be upon her cheeks, tears that she knew Gibbs hated. Tears that would melt Gibbs's resolve to keep his distance.

Even though Abby desperately needed to feel his arms around her, his heart, right then, was not in her favour. He was bitter, so, so bitter that she had taken up with Marty and he'd shown her again, what a worthless cretin he truly was.

It wasn't that Gibbs was jealous of what Marty had taken from him. It was because within Marty, he saw himself, and that in his shoes, he would have done the same thing, and Abby, the woman that they both loved, would be hurting like she was now, because of it.

But she had taken Marty as her lover, even though, by choice, they had only remained friends and that had rankled, deep down. It had truly hurt. He'd wanted her, but friends seemed to be the safer choice, a choice that he had regretted too many times, especially when Marty had stepped in and taken his rightful place by her side, leaving him well and truly out in the cold.

And now she needed him as a friend again; someone to hold as she cried. Someone to say, 'there, there, you'll be okay, you've always got me.' Someone that didn't want that. Someone who wanted more. Gibbs closed his eyes and hung his head to shut out the longing that poured from places that had been kept firmly locked away.

Gibbs felt her closeness and knew that she was near, near enough for him to smell her light scent. Opening his eyes, he found himself looking down into hers. The tears that she so valiantly tried to hide shimmered within them once more. She was barely a heartbeat away from him. If he lifted his arms, she would be within them, of that he was certain.

But did he want her there?

"Hold me."

God, no.

Gibbs took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut against the searing pain that her request evoked. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't do what he wanted to. He just hurt too damn much. She had hurt him too damn much. He ignored her plea, but she asked again, her voice huskier with climbing tears.

"Hold me, Gibbs, please."

It was the 'please' that broke him. It was the 'please' that tore at his resolve and stripped it bare. And it was the whispered 'please' that cascaded through his soul along with the one, honest spoken one that won.

{Christ, I need her. I need in my arms. I've got to have her in my arms} He silently moaned as he opened his sky-blue pain-ridden eyes and watched her inch nearer still, until, at last, his carefully held restraint snapped and he grabbed her wrists and yanked her to him.

"Damn you, Abby!" He ground out. "Damn you for choosing him over me!" His mouth slammed into hers, cutting off their shared, stunned gasps as he quickly released her wrists and wrapped his arms around her, pinning her against his hard chest as his hot mouth ravaged hers.

Abby began to resist but Gibbs refused to let go, his mouth and his body demanding a response as his hands swept over her, soothing, stroking, molding her even closer to his now aching body. She began to melt against him and as she did, Gibbs' forcefulness changed, too. His lips began to nibble softly, his touch gentling as he caressed her back and shoulders until, eventually, they found each other simply holding onto one another, soaking up the comfort that they needed and letting go the resentment that he harboured against Marty, once and for all.

Marty was gone and now Gibbs stood a chance, a chance that he wasn't going to miss out on, not now that he had her back in his arms, where she belonged.

He felt her lightly kiss his throat and whisper, "Thank you." Her arms snaked around his waist, taking the last ounce of everything he wanted to give to her, knowing that she was saying thank you for more than the hug.

Gibbs kissed the top of her head in response, breathing in the flowery scent of her hair. "That's okay, Abby, you know I'm here for you. I'll always be here."

Abby sighed against his throat and he moaned as her hand rose and touched his neck, her touch, as soft as a butterfly's. "I know you will, I know you will. I just wish..."

"Sshhhhhhhhh," Gibbs whispered. "One day at a time, okay?"

Abby smiled as she reached up to accept the proffered kiss as he lifted her face to meet his. "One day at a time."