OH MY GOD, COULD YOU HAVE COME UP WITH A MORE DIFFICULT PROMPT? D18, which I hate, Last Farewell, that can only mean ANGST no matter how you look at it, and at least a thousand words? Are you TRYING to kill me? Oy vey. I should have read the rules more carefully on this challenge thing, I did not understand how it worked....

--

It was grand. Ridiculously so. And it made Hibari wonder if he had ever been so unreasonably uncomfortable in his life. Probably not.

He hated weddings. He hated weddings and he did not want to be in one. Correction: he hated weddings and he certainly did not to be the best man in one. The only way he could be more involved in the wedding is if he were the one getting married, and he did not appreciate that.

Why the hell had Cavallone made him best man, anyway? That was a little sadistic, wasn't it? And if he knew the blond the way he thought he did, more than a little masochistic as well. Why hadn't he just made Romario or someone his best man? Isn't that what a right hand was, anyway? Right hand, best man; the two roles seemed interchangeable.

He paused on that thought. If Hibari had been the one getting married, would he have used Kusakabe as best man? Probably. But Hibari would never be the one getting married, because that involved admitting that he actually wanted to spend any amount of time around one specific person. It also implied that he might actually hold some amount of affection towards his significant other; neither of these were things Hibari Kyouya did.

The thought also brought on a most disturbing mental image of he and Dino in wedding dresses surrounded by sparkles. For some reason, the baby in the fedora was the one performing the imaginary ceremony. This was only marginally less traumatic to his mental health.

But right now was not the time to mentally scar himself with imaginary wedding ceremonies, because right now he had to get ready for the dress rehearsal and after the wedding he had to attend the reception, where he would be expected to make a speech that did not involve telling the groom he was an idiot, the bride that she was a whore, or usage of the words "bite" and "death".

Obviously, he had no such speech prepared.

Nor did he have time to contemplate what he was going to pull out of his ass tomorrow night, because there was a knocking at his door and Dino was stepping inside.

"Kyouya? Are you almost ready for the rehearsal?" the Cavallone asked, poking his head inside.

Hibari didn't spare him a glance, carefully threading his tie. "I'm not incompetent, unlike some people I know."

Dino laughed, stepping inside. "I know, I know. But Theresa is nervous about this whole thing, and if coming to get you so you're not late will calm her down, I'll do it."

"You just wanted to get away from her," Hibari accused. "I don't blame you, the woman's out of her mind."

Dino frowned. "Hey, that's not fair. She's getting married to someone she barely knows just because her father wants to strengthen ties with another Family; I don't blame her for being a little..." Dino trailed off, fishing for the right word.

Hibari supplied it easily. "Bitchy?"

"No! Just.... Frustrated."

"'Frustrated' is a temporary state, not accompanied by long-term insanity. There was a madness in her eyes, I could see it. I bet she and Mukuro would make friends easily- that's the kind of crazy she is."

Dino frowned. "Well. Being a mafia princess is bound to leave someone a little unstable," he defended. With a harsh sigh, he continued. "And it doesn't matter even if she is crazy, because I'm still going to be stuck with her for the rest of my life. The Cavallone needs this just as much as the D'Amato, and if I can do what's right for my Family by sleeping next to a psychopath every night, then that's a sacrifice I can make." He paused. "Besides, it's not like that's something I'm not used to."

Hibari let out something that might have been a laugh on any other person. "You've got me there."

The two continued standing there in silence, even after Hibari had finished dressing and there was nothing to stop them from going out and starting the rehearsal dinner.

After a while, Dino sighed. "Kyouya, I..."

"Whatever sentimentality you wish to express, you can just save it. What we've done in the past has no bearing on anything anymore. You're going to go marry a lunatic, and I'm going to find someone who can satisfy my needs just as easily as you did. So shut up."

Dino smiled. "I allways did like that straightforwardness of yours, Kyouya," he laughed. "Can I at least have one final farewell?" he asked, a pleading glint in his eye.

Hibari stared at him. "I'm pretty sure we don't have time for a quickie before the Cavallone-to-be sends out a search party."

Dino laughed. "No, I imagine not. So it's a good thing I was thinking a little more subtly," he said, leaning foreward to capture Hibari's mouth in a long, gentle kiss.

When they parted, Hibari only rolled his eyes. "Get out," he said, opening the door and shoving Dino outside, before following after.

And now he had an idea of what to say at the toast. Something along the lines of "I'm done with him, but he was a pretty good fuck, so your honeymoon should be fun..."

At least that way he'd have some entertainment.

--

OMAKE BECAUSE I DID NOT REACH 1,000 WORDS:

Hibari looked at the wedding party with disinterest, leaning back in his chair. The large amount of mafia members in the room had managed to keep the bride's head from exploding at his toast, which was a bit of a disappointment, really.

He was contemplating the benefits of drinking out the house when one of the bridesmaids approached him.

In a honey-sweet voice, she said, "I liked your toast earlier. It was really funny, and I've never seen Theresa look look that! Her face was all red, and nothing will ever make me forget how funny it was to hear her shout 'you mean I just married a homo?' in front of the whole wedding," she laughed.

Hibari raised an eyebrow. "Why on earth are you a bridesmaid at Cavallone's wedding, Mukuro?"

The 'girl' plopped down in the seat next to him, uninvited, with a chuckle. "I can't get anything past you, can I, Kyouya?" She stole a sip form his drink. "And here I thought Tsunayoshi was the only one who could see through me with just one glance."

"Or maybe you're just not as good as you think you are," Hibari retaliated, taking his wine glass back.

"Now I know that's not the case," Mukuro grinned. "But to answer your question, it's actually almost a coincidence. I had infiltrated the D'Amato using this body a while ago for information purposes, and happened to get to know the little lady over there. She invited me to be her maid of honor, which really just tells you she doesn't have very many friends if I'm the best she could come up with."

"Yes, but why did you actually come? With this alliance you shouldn't need to to be infiltrating the D'Amato anymore, so it's not like you need to keep your cover."

Mukuro smirked, leaning over to run a finger along the rim of Hibari's wine glass. "Isn't it obvious? It's practically part of the maid of honor's job to get laid on wedding night. Everyone knows that."

Hibari looked at Mukuro for a moment, as he used a strange girl's body to lean suggestively over the table before bringing his finger from the glass to his lips.

Hibari shrugged. "I'll drink to that."