Hey guys! Firstly, the reason I haven't been updating is because my computer recently went through a complete meltdown and everything I've done on it for the past three years are lost. I'll update my other stories as soon as I can but I couldn't resist doing this one shot.

Please follow me on my new twitter: http:// twitter .com/sonnychadfan (remove spaces)

Anyways...enjoy!


Oh My Dylan!

Chad pov

I lay down on the uncomfortable hospitable bed, glancing in disgust at the white washed walls and the horrible smell of disinfectant. The beeping of the machines surrounding me was almost unbearable and I couldn't help but think about how anyone with the name Chad Dylan Cooper should be subjected to such torture.

I was just glad that this terrible ordeal was nearly over. Never again will I wear skinny pants, Chad Dylan Cooper has officially learnt his lesson, but I have to say, I did look super hot in them.

I frowned and pressed the red buzzer for attention. These people couldn't just leave me in this horrible place. I continued pressing it until I heard heavy footsteps coming.

Some old guy wearing glasses, one of those weird stethoscope things around his neck and a long white coat holding a clip board came walking up to me, his lips pursed into a slight grimace walked up to me.

"Mr Cooper, the buzzer is only used for emergencies only." He said, a little grumpily I might add. Didn't he like me or something? Nah...that's impossible, everyone likes Chad Dylan Cooper.

"Uh, hello, this is an emergency. I'm in a disgusting hospital for who-knows-what, lying on an uncomfortable bed when I could be at home or on set making Chad Dylan Cooper magic." I said as a young nurse passed by. I made sure to wink at her, causing her to run off giggling. Oh, it's great to be Chad Dylan Cooper.

"Well, actually I did need to talk to you Mr Cooper. I have some very bad news to tell you," he said and I could've sworn he quickly grinned. This made me panic...bad news...about me? But Chad Dylan Cooper never gets bad news. Never Ever.

"Oh my god...do I have a zit?!" I exclaimed, scrambling for a mirror. Old doc sighed heavily and put a hand out to shut me up.

"I'm afraid it's something much worse than a zit Mr Cooper," This got me really worried now. What's worse than a zit? Oh my god...what if it's acne? Chad Dylan Cooper never gets spots let alone acne. It's like defying gravity, it's impossible.

"Give it to me straight doc...I can take it," I said quickly, a look of panic on my face. I wasn't sure that I could take it but I needed to know. What if it was something to do with my beautiful golden sunkissed locks? I don't think I could live with myself if something happened to that.

He kept a straight face, completely unfazed that someone as brilliant as Chad Dylan Cooper might possibly have a flaw.

"You have LBS." He said firmly. LBS? LBS!! I've heard of that.

"Lazy boy syndrome?!" I said wincing, hoping that my assumptions were incorrect.

"No, lack of book syndrome, also known as lazy but syndrome. And LBS is also the abbreviation of pounds which is what you're going to gain-" he poked me, "-if you don't stop watching yourself on TV." he said. Okay, first off, who gave him permission to touch Chad Dylan Cooper? And how dare he insult me, I work out at the gym every Saturday thank you very much. But still, lack of book syndrome!

"No doc! Can't you just cut my pants off, you know how you do?"

He ignored me and scribbled something down on his note pad, before tearing it off.

"I want you to read to books and call me in the morning Mr Cooper," he said and thrust the paper into my chest. I had enough of this, he'd been getting my name wrong all day.

"Actually it's Dylan Cooper." I corrected him. He smiled widely...something told me that was not good.

"Not anymore. I removed your Dylan while you were under." No, no, no this could not be happening! Was it even possible?! He removed my Dylan?! The Dylan's what makes Chad Dylan Cooper so hot. Without it...dare I say it...I might lose one of my most chadtistic qualities, my ability to look hot in anything

"No! What'd you do with it?!" I screamed. This guy couldn't be serious could he? Chad Dylan Cooper without his Dylan's like chalk without cheese, bread without butter, fish without water. You can't just take something like that away from someone.

He gave me a stern look. Is it just me, or does that doctor look like he wants to decapitate me right now? "I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it." And with that, he drew back the curtain, separating my area from the others. One of those randoms, I don't bother to remember insignificant names, lay down on the bed, a magazine in his hands. Wait...oh my god! No, no, no, no!

The doctor smiled down at the random and I braced myself for the terror that would come next.

"Good afternoon Mr Grady Dylan Mitchell." That just didn't sound right. It sounded like a bunch of cat's claws scraping down an old blackboard or Miss Bitterman's voice on a rainy day. I quickly sat up and glared at the random. How dare he take my Dylan! It's mine! You can't just steal from Chad Dy-uh...Chad Cooper. See, doesn't sound as good, does it?

The evil doctor smiled down at Grady once more, before stalking off to what I assume was to go and ruin some more happy lives. The random grinned at me, obviously quite happy with his new Dylan.

"I've been waiting for two years." He grinned. Okay, that's it...I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed.

...

I woke up, startled. My head was in a book, ruining my perfect hair. Thank God that this was all just a dream, I don't think I could live without my Dylan.

"Must have fallen asleep reading," I said, honestly relieved, "stupid books, that was horrible." I mumbled, shuddering at the weird dream I had. This was officially the first and last time that Chad Dylan Cooper reads. Wow, it's good to be able to call myself that again.

I closed the book and stood up, backing away from it slowly. Who knew what powers it possessed. While I walked backwards, I accidently bumped into a girl, who I presumed was a fan from the way her eyes widened and her mouth opened. I prepared myself for the screams of adoration.

"Oh my gosh, it's Dylan Cooper!!" She screamed, obviously starstruck by my presence. Yeah...I have that effect on people. Wait...did she just say Dylan Cooper?

"What? No...it's Chad Dylan Cooper." I corrected, rolling my eyes at her stupidity. She stood there baffled for a moment.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's Dylan Cooper, in fact I know its Dylan Cooper. I'm your biggest fan...I know everything about you!" she smiled. Was this an attempt to get me to like her, because it most definitely was not working.

I glanced at my poster.

Mackenzie Falls

Starring: Dylan Cooper!

What! Was this an alternate reality or something? Was this just Sonny playing one of her pranks just because I did a walk-a-thon against her walk-a-thon?

Just as I was about to break down crying, the doctor came through the door.

"Oh...Mr Cooper, I forgot to tell you. I removed your Chad while you were under and gave it to someone who deserved it." He grinned evilly and pointed to that crazy mini random that's always hanging out in the vents. Oh that was one mean doctor.

One tear slipped from my eye and another and another.

***

I woke up, shocked. Did I just have a dream within a dream? This was the most confusing thing I've ever experience. Just to be on the safe side though, I grabbed my phone and pressed speed dial two.

"Hello...who's calling?" Came a groggy voice. Whoops, she might've been sleeping.

"It's me...the greatest actor of our generation." I smirked.

"Ugh! Chad Dylan Cooper so help me if you don't let me go to sleep you're going to be in a who-"

Click

And I slept as sound as a baby for the rest of that night.


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